Episode list

Self-reflection. It's called that cuz that's how you improve yourself, brotha, and how it makes, like, it makes you better or somethin. Either way, the diet starts TOMORROW. Peace.

Would an artist still paint a painting even if Jake wasn't there to see it or appreciate its brilliance. Hang out with him and make up a secret handshake with him. Yes. That's why I don't regret SHIT about my winter break, brother.

Jocelyn (Amir) and Ace (Jake) are astronaut accountants from outer space.

Sometimes old friends and new just don't mix.

My dad had headaches growing up - no fucking way was I gonna let you slip down that same path, brother. Just leave me the fuck alone, please. No.

Food is fuel for the body. You would never drink a glass of gasoline, but you would drink a glass of milk. Does that make sense?

Daydreaming at the office is inevitable. You see one person, you get a little tired and your imagination just runs wild with your deepest desires.

Age is just a number, brotha. A number that denotes, in years, how long it's been since you were born. Or whateva.

You know the phrase "You had to be there?" Well that's 100% true, brotha. I had to be there. No you didn't.

I think she's the one, bro. I really think she's the one. You mean she's the only one who isn't disgusted by you. Yes, isn't that what that means? It is not.

Some people take things way too seriously.

Websites are like books, once you write one, you're officially an author.

Jake and I pretty much share everything so this should come as no surprise. Furthermore, I know like five languages so whateva. English, Spanish, Menus, French, and Numbers.

Me and Jake go everywhere togetha. Be it the park, the beach, out to dinner, the bathroom, even to foreign countries like Floreeda. Alaho brothas.

Whether we're on the ground or in the air it don't make no matta. Me and Jake are always flying. Figuratively.

Jake bronzes like a golden God. So do I. We have that in common. That and lots of other things. For instance, Jake's favorite sport is baseball, and I one time saw a little league game.

I'm pretty much Alfred Einstein when it comes to puzzles. I am always impressing Jake to no end. That's what best friends do though, no big deal, we impress the S out of each other.

Jake do you have my Adam Sandler CD? SLOPPY JOES SLOP SLOPPY JOES. lol. Ummm.

Sorry, brotha, mine was on dee fritz. QQ: What gets soda out of computers? Lol.

Jake came to his senses and eventually realized, it was my sandwich. All is fore givo.

Sometimes, when you work so hard at helping others, you neglect to help the most important person of all: Me.

I wanna be pissed. Believe me, I do. I just can't stay mad at this cat. Fuck. It just looks so good. CAN YOU BLAME ME?. Honestly. Can you blame me. - Yes.

Sequels are so hard to pull off. Luckily this one is amazing.

Movie debates are a lot like political debates, only people actually like movies.

Tough love. It's the only thing these interns understand.

It's just so frustrating when people don't get - us.

If saying there's a bomb in a building to get everybody to leave is a crime, then lock me up and throw away the key. They might.

Ever heard of the gift that keeps on giving? This is like that only the gifts that it keeps on giving also gives gifts forever. So.

Driving Ms. Jakey. Lol. Ummm - what's it called when you hit a guy with your hood. Not your car. Your hood.

Jake was just pissed because his mom like, i dunno, died that day. no she didn't. well why would you call me that then?

I think I probably just didnt deliver it right when I imed it to jake the first time or whateva. I've been practicing in the mirror for three days straight.

Bravery means never crying more than twice a day.

Food pyramids are for food Egyptian Pharaohs. Straight up.

You have to stick up for your best friends. Even if that means telling your boss something he's not ready to hear.

I try to improve myself. It's called self-improvement. In 300 years we'll none of us be wearing glasses and I'm going to be leading that movement.

Me and Jakey boy go everywhea togetha. It's not a big deal. It's a way of life. When he begs me to leave him alone, that's when I know he needs me the most.

I don't mean to be rude, it's just annoying when people bother us during work or whenever.

Ha. That was weird. lol. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Ummm - wow. I wanna say it doesn't hurt, but it does? Does that make sense?

Another day another dinner with big J. Whateva, this isn't a special event, it's just another day. I'm with Jake through the sweet and the sour.

Through sickness and health, I'll be there. Causing both.

This is like that episode of FRIENDS where Jake and I kicked it old school forever. Best episode ever.

My space is your space. Straight up.

Just because we're apart physically, doesn't mean we should be apart phonetically.

Gettin' together, watchin' the game, chillin' or whatever. I dunno it's natural.

I was JOKING. Wow.

They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't -- Jake.

Jake Crew. Lol.

Wingmen are more important than girls. Straight up.