Mike Henry credited as playing...
Cleveland Brown • Rallo Tubbs • Redneck #1
- Cleveland Brown: Where do you think I've been all week?
- Lester Krinkelsac: I don't know. Mustache camp?
- Cleveland Brown: That's in June. You know that.
- Cleveland Brown: [when Peter comes to rescue Cleveland and his friends] Thanks, Peter. How did you know we were here?
- Peter Griffin: Well, I felt bad after you left Quahog, so I called your house. Your wife said you were doing a friendship thing in the woods and I immediately thought, "Well, this is going to end in hillbilly rape", so I tracked you down and here I am.
- Cleveland Brown: But I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore.
- Peter Griffin: Well, as soon as you left, I started really intense psychotherapy with that gay guy in town who has like a thousand jobs.
- Cleveland Brown: They once said his name was Bruce.
- Peter Griffin: Right. So, apparently, I have abandonment issues stemming from my relationship with my father, blah, blah, blah, ticking time bomb, so I pushed you away before you could do it to me.
- Cleveland Brown: But I would never do that. We're BFFs.
- [he and Peter show each other their lip tattoos]
- Peter Griffin: I'm sorry, Cleveland. You're my friend. You always have been. And I know deep down in my heart, I still love you.
- [Cleveland starts crying]
- Peter Griffin: See, Cleveland, that's the difference between our two shows. On our show, we would have shown the rape and had a show tune about the rape.
- Cleveland Brown: And I would have just been the black guy.
- Cleveland Brown: Peter, why didn't you call me when you were in town last week?
- Peter Griffin: Yeah, uh, my phone died of AIDS.
- Cleveland Brown: AIDS is no longer a death sentence.
- Byron: [to Rallo when he's asked a question at the Quiz Bowl] You don't know, do you?
- Rallo Tubbs: You're right! I don't know! But I'll tell you what I do know. I know how to change the tire on my Big Wheel, how to tip a host to get a table by the skee ball. I know y don't ask a man what he makes in allowance. I know never to buy property in Detroit. I can take a punch and I can throw a punch. I know never to bet on the Golden State Warriors 'cause they don't play no defense. And most important, I know how to treat a lady. Do you, Wally?
- Wally Farquhare: I know menstruating women cause fruits and vegetables to spoil.
- Rallo Tubbs: Damn, Wally. What's wrong with you?
- Donna Tubbs: Ooh, Rallo, looks like you're getting a bath.
- Rallo Tubbs: Thank God. I've asked you four times this week. I'm itchy, Mama.
- Donna Tubbs: Oh, Rallo would be great at Quiz Bowl. He's very gifted.
- Rallo Tubbs: Mama, check it out! This bean dip looks like diarrhea!
- Cleveland Brown: [to Peter] But I thought we were friends.
- Peter Griffin: We were neighbors and drinking buddies. We weren't friends.
- Rallo Tubbs: [to Donna] I don't want to spend my Saturday with a tutor. Why do I need to be in that stupid Quiz Bowl anyway?
- Donna Tubbs: Cause Mama never got her mama's approval and now she seeks it from every woman she meets.