Stitches

I have to admit, I never had heard of the comedian Ross Noble before I watched this movie. And I wouldn't have been that intrigued by him, if I hadn't seen him perform live. Actually that means he opened the Frightfest and introduced Stitches a day later to the audience. The fact that he was talking about his movie made me believe he was the director. He got me fooled (met the real director too, a really nice guy) and maybe some others too.

But back to this movie, that is a real fun little horror movie, that plays with the fear of clowns. Some have a real phobia, those shouldn't watch this movie of course. Or if you are easily offended (be it by violence or nonpolitical correctness) - don't watch. Everyone else: Jump on the the train and have fun during the trip.

Clowns, teen party, gore galore and a few laughs. That pretty much sums up Stitches. I would definitely categorize this one as a teen scream, it still gets major points for originality and the gore is not just disgusting, its also funny. But seriously, its extremely gory, like jaw dropping, stomach turning gory. For example, there is a scene where a clown rips of a student's genitals, ties it to a balloon and lets it float away… Enough said. So I'll give a warning for the gore and an FYI for Irish accents. I think that most will enjoy this movie knowing ahead of time that it's a gory teen slasher comedy. Overall its pretty goofy and gory.

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I watched 'Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting.

His 'unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on seeking bloodthirsty revenge on the party of children who caused his death in the first place.

In short, Ross Noble steals every scene he's in. Sadly, he's not in it enough. He doesn't really come into it (proper) until midway through and, by then, you've been forced to watch your usual 'teen drama.' As this is a British film, I was hoping for something a little more original than 'uber-geek falls in love with beautiful girl who just so happens to be going out with an arrogant jock.' Sadly, that's all we get. All the (non undead clown) characters are total stereotypes. You'll know exactly who'll die the moment you see them.

And die they do. That's where the film excels. I'm guessing it had quite a small budget, but it really makes the most of the gore. Some of the death scenes are truly disgusting (and hilarious in their over-the-topness).

Stitches is worth watching if you like horror and Ross Noble. He provides all the comedy and gore which will satisfy you. However, sadly the film can never truly be a classic, as the first half is pretty bland and the second half is only ever really alive when the (dead) Ross Nobel is on-screen.

It's a good film that's (sadly) wrapped up in the oldest movie cliché going.

If Peter Jackson had been from Ireland instead of New Zealand, Stitches is the movie he might have made first in place of Bad Taste. It's got the same dark humor, most of which falls flat but some of which hits the spot. There's the same gleeful gore, okay perhaps not quite as much as Bad Taste but close. The deaths are inventive and entertaining and the whole movie would have been improved by better editing, a better score and a bigger budget, just like Bad Taste.

The plot is basic slasher fare. Two parts Friday 13th part VI, One Part Nightmare on Elm Street, One part Stephen King's IT, but a dash of it's own originality thrown in as well. It's let down a little by some really odd pacing and editing choices that slow down the action where it should be building up. If you've seen enough low budget indies you'll probably know what I'm talking about, it's a fairly common amateur film problem.

Still, it's a damn good try and it's heart is in the right place. Regular folks will sit through this very bemused, or more likely turn it off after the first half hour, but horror aficionados will be at least entertained if not downright elated.

I don't care how good a movie is, if theres wonton animal murder, I will turn that movie off and stop watching. And this movie wasn't even that good! Halfway through of this fairly typical slasher, and the one cute moment, the cat dribbling the clown nose like a basket ball, and for that it gets murdered? I think the screen writer and director need to be checked for Sociopathy!