Starship: Rising

Absolutely nothing redeeming about this title at all. The acting is bad, the dialogue is worse, the special effects are not special at all, the cinematography is lackluster, the costumes are like the kind you make as cosplayer, the sound was bad, the musical score basically non-existent, and to top it off the story is boring and uninteresting

If you watch the first 5 minutes you will immediately regret it. The main character is explaining their back story in this sci-fi futuristic action movie and they decided that adding scan lines to the video would make it more futuristic. And not well done scan lines that make the video seem like it might actually be a video...just a low transparency set of scan lines that a 12 year old would put into a video game they are programming because they saw the movie Aliens for the first time.

If you make it further than the abysmal intro you are sure to regret it. I had to force myself to finish it because I just wanted to see how bad it could really get and it gets really bad. Please if you have not watched this, do yourself a favor and don't. There is a reason it has such a low rating...if I could give it 0 I would, but 1 is the lowest possible score.

Plot

This story is horrendous. I did my best, but I couldn't make sense of the plot, though I thought I could make head or tails of it when I was watching the trailer. Basically there is this spaceship and there are some people on it and around them there are a number of populated planets and moons, yet ask me what this all means and I won't be able to tell you.

Character Development

I didn't even know any of the character so I cannot say if any of them developed, but somehow I doubt it.

Acting

The acting, the hand to hand combat, the gun fighting and everything in between was awful. It just shows that you need some knowhow and talent to put a film together and it certainly helps when you got a working script for your actors to act from. I don't think I believe a single word anyone had said.

Overview

I gave this movie a chance because some of those that review it before me left room in their criticisms. Let me close that gap and say there is no way I am going to be watching the sequel. If you can believe it this film doesn't finish and leaves an opening to keep going. That would be a mistake because there is nothing good to continue. Better to make a fresh start in a completely new direction.

Not the worst movie I've ever seen, the special effects were surprisingly quite good(pretty much the one element that showed signs of any effort) and Darren Jacobs and Emii do what they can in the lead roles. Nothing else on the other hand works. Other than the special effects Starship: Rising does not look very good, at its worst embarrassingly amateurish. The camera work and editing are choppy, at no point is there a well-placed camera angle. Even worse is the use of green and blue screen, very over-used and sometimes irrelevant, it's also so distracting that it was difficult to find any admiration in the sets. The music is generic, sluggishly paced and like a monotonous drone, and to make things worse it often overbears the dialogue, which can be blamed on the sound mixing recording the music too loud and the dialogue too soft. Not that the dialogue is anything special to begin with, in fact it's all over the place with lots of it sounding random and confused. The characters are under-written cardboard cut-outs that it's difficult to engage with them, and while the leads try their best the acting on the most part is laughably stiff. But the biggest problem with Starship: Rising is the story which is laboriously paced, incredibly convoluted to the point that trying to work out what's going on is a real struggle and with a lot of back-story that added and explained absolutely nothing, only succeeding in slowing the movie down. In conclusion, aside from the special effects and the efforts of the two leads Starship: Rising was almost unwatchable. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Somewhere right now Roger Corman is practicing rolling in his grave.

gar·bage /ɡärbij/ noun North American

wasted or spoiled food and other refuse.

synonyms: trash, rubbish, refuse, waste, detritus, litter, junk, scrap; scraps, leftovers, remains, slops, nonsense, balderdash, claptrap, twaddle, blather; dross, rubbish, tripe, jive, bilge, bull, bunk, poppycock, piffle, bunkum, vulgar, slangcrap, crapola

...and now a recipe for Corned Beef Hash:

1 Heat butter in a large skillet (preferably cast iron) on medium heat. Add the onion and cook a few minutes, until translucent.

2 Mix in the chopped corned beef and potatoes. Spread out evenly over the pan. Increase the heat to high or medium high and press down on the mixture with a metal spatula.

3 Do not stir the potatoes and corned beef, but let them brown. If you hear them sizzling, this is good. Use a metal spatula to peek underneath and see if they are browning. If nicely browned, use the spatula to flip sections over in the pan so that they brown on the other side. Press down again with the spatula. If there is too much sticking, you can add a little more butter to the pan. Continue to cook in this manner until the potatoes and the corned beef are nicely browned.

4 Remove from heat, stir in chopped parsley. Add plenty of freshly ground black pepper, and add salt to taste.

Serve with fried or poached eggs for breakfast.

...'nuff said.

I could have done a better voice-over with out even trying if that gives you any clue how bad this movie was.

Forget waterboarding, force our enemies to watch this movie instead. It will get confessions out of them quickly. NO MORE, PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!

The actors, and I hesitate calling them that were terrible. Is there a sub-Z list?

The fat guy co-pilot who liked like he hasn't gotten out of a chair (except to eat) for fifteen years. Yea right, he couldn't have been co-pilot, he'd have to burn at least some calories moving.

Most of the live action was obviously filmed over a green screen and had this weird blur/fuzz over it.

The costumes consisted mainly of baseball and hockey gear spray painted silver, with electrical conduit strapped on.

What was good about it? Some of the special effects were kind of okay, they didn't all look cheap. And actually the music score wasn't that bad.

This is a movie that shouldn't have been made. And then the agony, a sequel is (gasp) announced at the end before the credits.

Why watch trash like this when there is something better?