The Slender Man

Sure, The Slender Man is only 78 minutes long, but the director somehow manages to make it feel like 78 years. In this found-footage camera POV style horror film, absolutely nothing happens. People walk around, people eat, people joke, and in one or two scenes, a tall guy with a white mask shows up and spooks some people. It is truly one of the most boring films you can find. Who are the characters? Unknown. When will they die? Unknown. Where is the title villain? Who knows! There have been a massive slough of Slenderman movies lately, all of them independent and some of them probably never happening because Slenderman is now a washed up fad, but whatever. I saw this because it was free and I ended up wanting him to come find and take me to whatever fictional BS land he takes me, where my organs are ripped out of my body while I'm still alive or whatever that one website claims. Slender man potentially could be a horrifying antagonist, but he needs to kill off all of his rabid fans first and hire good filmmakers and story writers.

So bad. Just really bad. Most of the film was jerky footage of the ground. Much of it was so dark you just couldn't see anything while the camera was bouncing around. The terrible audio composition had me constantly turning it up and down. I get that it's low budget, but did they even try? I'm SO angry that the creators would let anyone waste an hour of their life watching this and waiting for something interesting to happen.

I have been required to put more effort into this review than was put into this entire movie. I did this to save you! Don't let the hour of my life I sacrificed be in vain. Save yourself!

It might be my poor social skills talking, but I feel like they act like real people. If someone was documenting their experiences/ blogging, of course they'd point at the ground since it's the easiest. When I film, I point down at my legs or infront of me. In this movie, they act like normal humans who just like recording things. Hank records for some sense of closure, and the kids record to document the making of their "movie". The acting shows how people normally talk, they don't sound scripted or nervous (unless the part suits it). I've seen movies with characters talking like a 4th grader reading something on the board. I genuinely love the acting in this. It feels human and well done. Love this movie!

the slender man as I understand is an urban myth, prior to watching this movie I have watched a series of youtube videos of this phenomenon which attempted to turn a fictional idea into an amateur movie experience. this film adaptation of the urban legend starts off in quite a disorganised way, no real character identification or initiation. I know that in these sorts of films they throw out the rule book in favour of it seeming like found footage. but i'd like it to be pulled together in a better way, you don't really feel anything for the cast, there's nothing where we get to know the people involved.generally I think the found footage style of film needs to evolve, or at least it could evolve. why not take advantage of modern trends, like vloging or mobile phone footage? this movie is part of a horror genre that to me feels like its going a little stale despite apparent high interest. sometimes I feel a lot of these films don't really do much more than what blair witch and the last broadcast did over 10 years ago (these were both great films btw) unlike those films this one fails to build tension as competently. it does provide scares and the odd jump, but not a lot. the script ,acting and story is pretty sub par, the personalities all feel a little flat, there isn't enough mystery,atmosphere and intrigue for my liking and the plot seems to jump about with little cohesion. the only plus side to it that I can identify is the special effects which seem pretty good for a budget film.

Where did it all go wrong? Blast!

Slenderman has limitless potential as a film but after Slender (2016) I started to fear it was potential that would never be met.

The first 15 minutes or so of The Slender Man had me gripped, this was well made and genuinely scary stuff. Truly scary and I don't say that very often.

Then to my horror it all fell apart and this movie which I was beginning to think was going to turn into something special turned into another found footage film and an utter mess.

The plot makes little sense, the pacing is disastrous and all the magic from the start of the film flickers down to nothing.

I believe Slender Man will get a great film one day (Or has one already I haven't seen) this however is not that film.

The Good:

Genuinely scary in places

The Bad:

No rhyme or reason why people are recording most of the time

Poor audio balancing

Incoherent plot

Front cover makes him look like a gothic Koro-sensei

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

If you're going to kidnap children, doing it during the day in the middle of the street seems like a good call