Anarchy Parlor

This film is about a shady tattoo parlor you don't want to visit.

This isn't a top notch film but you kinda know that going into it. I'm gonna review it as such. I've seen better but this film is not as bad as some are making it out to be. I think the biggest problem is that it is lacking depth.

The character builds aren't that great. They fall short on really making you invest in the characters. You want to feel concerned for their well being and this don't get the job done. The story should have been played up a bit more. Understanding the "whys" is a big thing for me and I wasn't satisfied. I also wanted to see more evolution in the ending and we were only given a taste of that.

One of the good things about this are that it has the blood and gore that you want from horror. It is also well filmed by that I mean that it has decent quality for a low budget film. I also thought the pace of it was on point.

I liked it but I am willing to give credit where it is due. For a B movie this deserves more credit than it has been given. Don't be horror snobs. You may find that there is a lot of decent low budget films out there if you can stop holding them to such high standards. I'm sure there will be disagree with my review but watch it and judge it for yourself.

I watched this film for one reason only... Robert Lasardo. I usually don't do horror flicks like this, but again Robert drew me in LOL. I thought the story could have been executed better, it could have been a bigger and better backstory. Robert even said in an interview prior to the movie release that he was hoping they would do a part 2 so you can find out more about the artist and the backstory. "The Artist" by the way is the name Robert went by in the movie. I found the history of tattoo art very interesting, it's sad how today so many young and old people are getting tattoos because it's the in thing... as a point Robert made in the movie, there use to be a place and time when to be extensively tattooed meant you lived outside the box and came from a very unique perspective. Nowadays tattoos is so common place, it's disgusting at times. So I really liked where he was going with the whole tattoo knowledge. Yes some of the characters were annoying, some of the characters were working my nerves and they could'nt die quick enough! LOL but it's one like that in every movie !. On another note, it ended with one of the new girls that he tattooed became his Protege, I would have liked to have seen that part executed better, as well as to why he chose her to be his protege. As you see in the movie Amy was her name, he was drawn to her from day one. It would have been nice to learn why. For some reason they just left that out there in the Wind. This is why I gave it a 7.

Plenty of exotic location and culture to explore, yet Anarchy Parlor still ends up with typical dumb college kids encounter with danger as its main plot. There are so few of likable characters as they are spewing profanities as replacement for acting, these guys are true representative of swag generation. Thankfully, the lead Robert LaSardo is physically and verbally convincing. Fans of the genre might find the gore very uniquely adequate, the shameless fanservice nudity is surprisingly good as well.

Set in Lithuania, a group of dumb college kids fornicate and party a lot until they happen to stumble on a tattoo parlor. The Artist (Robert LaSardo) is strange yet philosophically suave, unbeknownst to them he also harbors a sinister secret. Fans might recognize this set-up from Hostel, and to be frank, there's not much else here. Aside from The Artist himself, the rest of characters are tediously uncharismatic.

Script is filled with curse word as though the movie tries to set a record of cursing per minute. At times these guys and girls make decisions so horrible it's mind-boggling they are not shanked by random people yet. Not to mention one particular girl screamed so unbelievably annoying, I rooted for the bad guy to finish her and end my misery. It's not an understatement that the characters are mirror image of Jersey Shore cast.

What separate Anarchy Parlor are the detailed bloody sequences it presents. Make-up and practical effect like the blood work are disgustingly good down to all the nasty bits. It's not the typical slasher flick mayhem, but a lot more of solemn cutting action, the movie revels in it. There are also tons of sex scene and nudity, which are honestly good. This might just be the level of softcore production value. I guess that merits more point in rating.

As the screenplay is lackluster, a decent performance by the lead doesn't negate the rest of the loud bickering, it's quite hard to recommend this to casual audience. Furthermore, the gore is exclusively sickening. Anarchy Parlor is designed especially for horror fans only, the rest needs not enter.

I'm a gore hound, I have and will always love graphic horror films. So I pretty much knew what I was getting when I went into this film. Wasn't expecting a good story, good acting, etc but I was still a little disappointed.

So right off the bat you can tell this is pretty much a lower budget version of hostel, just replace the "Hostel" with a tattoo parlor. It really does copy a lot of aspects of Hostel, even has a group of misfit local kids that don't have much to do with the story just like in Hostel. So I'll try to focus on the things that this does different. One is that we actually have a killer, played by Robert LaSardo, he does a decent job but I just didn't find him creepy or intimating. In fact in the film he comes off as a pretty nice guy and the parts where is suppose to be sinister just seem forced.

So outside of LaSardo there isn't really much to say about the cast, all the actors who played the victims were pretty meh but it didn't really matter since the whole point of the film is to watch them die not watch them talk. I think my biggest complaint when it comes to the cast would have to be the character of Uta, played by Sara Fabel. She is just a really corny and unrealistic character, they take the whole "Tough Chick" thing way too far and it really takes from the grittiness of the film.

OK so now lets focus on the one good aspect of this flick, and that is the gore. Like I said I am a massive gore hound, and this movie did deliver when it came to that. The kill scenes are pretty brutal and they really don't hold back from showing you everything. The only bad thing is that there really isn't a lot of variety in the killing so it gets kind of dull.

Overall this isn't a horrible horror film. It has it's moments but if you are not a fan of gore than this film really won't have much to offer you unless you really want to see some soft-core sex scenes, in which case you would probably be better off watch some skinemax.

Not the worst but still not very good 4/10

Grim, amateurish little torture porn bauble set in a Vilnius tattoo parlor, only slightly elevated by a menacing performance from Robert LaSardo as "The Artist." He's the only thing worth watching here, despite the lovely location, which this film wastes. The other performances are so appalling and the dialogue so unimaginative that it's hard to tell how much of it was improvised -- on one hand, I can't imagine anyone writing this garbage out and thinking, "Yeah, that sounds right;" on the other, all the characters (The Artist excepted) sound exactly alike, even with multiple accents, each as aggressively unlikable and inarticulate as the next. A film called "Anarchy Parlor" might reasonably be expected to deliver some inkling of wild imagination, some hint that the filmmakers understand transgression. This predictable, mundane mess fails to deliver.