User reviews

Danny Dyer plays a hit-man called 'Jamie'... alright, I suppose there must be some hit men in the world called 'Jamie' - but for conjuring up a hard man character, let's just call him 'Marion'.

Marion kills people. And looks very sleepy whilst he does it. He might be moody. He's possibly hung over. Who knows? He doesn't like talking much. Because he tells his 'bird' "I ain't one for talking" (or words to that effect. Presumably to add to his moodiness?) At one point, he senses imminent danger. How? A seagull flies overhead. Perhaps part of his moodiness is talking to animals and birds? Anyone, before this seagull can shout "Watch it you mugs!", a spray of bullets. And old Daniel's stood there like he's just remembered he's left his front door key at home.

Meanwhile, The not-really-the Krays Brothers seem to think they're in the British answer to Michael Mann's 'Heat'. Maybe even 'Leon'. Unfortunately they come across as two blokes in a self-build borrowed from Grand Designs.

Some scenes have bad audio. (For example, there's a 'confrontation' on a street at night. The ambiance would have you believe it was chucking out time on a Friday night - yet for all this drunken cavorting noise, there's hardly a person to be seen. Anywhere.) Some have bad camera work/direction. Every scene is poor translation of an even worse screenplay. Seriously: 'Marion' kills some bloke with a plastic bag (The police believe it's some nonce engaging in a bit of auto-erotic asphyxiation - and the way Dyer does it, it might as well be. And we know the police think he died due to auto-erotic asphyxiation because they tell us about 4 times).

Dead bag man turns out to be the dad of some topless dancer who Dyer takes home for a bit of how's one's father. I've lost count the number of times this has happened to me. Assassinate someone. Pick up a tart. Oh no: They're related.

And then the two brothers in the Grand Designs house start getting wobbly because SOMEONE might find out. But Dyer - the professional assassin that he is - can't kill the tart, because he's getting his leg over. (Presumably he's not had much recently) It's easy to poke at Dyer - he is miscast, relying on some 'smell the fart' acting, but he's not the weakest link here. The script is just a cut 'n paste from every crap gangster/hit-man movie there ever was. The direction, supporting cast... all not very good at all.

After years of using IMDb, this will be my first review, and I'm gonna keep it short. I only wanted to review this because of the misleading 7.1 rating it somehow has, I honestly don't know how that's possible. This has to be in my top 5 of worst movies I've ever seen. I'm a big fan of Danny Dyer, but I'm sorry Danny, you were dyer. The acting was terrible from the whole cast, poorly written dialogue and totally predictable. There wasn't one moment in the film I thought was good, avoid wasting an hour and twenty minutes of your life and instead, go clean the kitchen, it will be much more enjoyable and rewarding when you finish.

I have seen wooden posts give more realistic performances. Why do casting agents keep putting forward Danny Dyer, the man can't act for s*%t, he really is useless.

He likes to portray these hard men roles but can't quite carry it off as he is known for being a whining little Muppet in real life, its a bit like casting Woody Allen as Captain America, it might be entertaining but it would in no way be believable.

Danny Dyer should really stick to making hard men programs for Dave or UK Gold...

In the real world does anyone actually watch one off his movies with a hope of seeing a serious character portrayal, unfortunately it has got even worse since his Eastenders appearances, Danny should quit whilst he is "slightly" ahead and get a job presenting nice little quiz show like Bradley Walsh...

Quiet menace ! My eleven year old granddaughter is more menacing when she is in a GOOD MOOD . GOOD FELLOWS take THE MONEY AND RUN SOAP OPERA CRAP RONNIE AND REGGIE STRIKE AGAIN BUT THEY Don't LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT Not even a B movie my blind friends said the cheese grater was a better read than this . Eddie Webber has no BUSINESS being in this tom tit .

More than ten lines.The name "Assassin" is often said to derive from the Arabic word Hashishin or "users of hashish",[2] a misnomer thought to have been derogatory and used by their adversaries during the Middle Ages. Originally applied to the Nizari Ismaelis by the Mustali Ismailis during the fall of the decaying Ismaili Fatimid Empire and the separation of the two streams,[3] it is possible that the term hashishiyya or hashishi in Muslim sources was used metaphorically in its abusive sense (i.e. "social outcasts", "low-class rabble", etc.), while the literal interpretation of this term in referring to the Nizaris (as hashish consuming

I cannot believe i just wasted and hour and a half of my life watching this. I could have spent that time doing something more productive like watching paint dry.

J.K. Amalou should be ashamed to have written and directed such an atrocious film. Terrible acting throughout which is not surprising given the cast plus gaps in the plot. Poorly produced and badly directed. This film is officially the worst film i have ever seen, overtaking Teeth and Batman & Robin.

I cannot believe this scored so highly with a 3.4, this film deserves no more than a 1/10. Lets hope J.K. Amalou takes stock and never ever makes a film like this again.

The only positive i can find was the end credits.

Jamie (Danny Dyer) is an assassin for hire who does a job for brothers John & Lee Alberts (Gary & Martin Kemp respectively). The brothers bought a plot of land to build a club on and were given the assurance from council big-wig Tony Boyd (Robert Kavanagh) that there would be no issues in getting the required planning permission that they needed. When they learn that Boyd is not willing to complete his end of the bargain (after the brothers have already paid him £100,000) they decide that he needs to be taken care of and hires Jamie to complete the task. Complications ensue when Jamie falls in love with the daughter of the man that he's killed and he takes it upon himself to protect her from the brothers who will do everything they can to silence her.

Assassin makes the bold claim on its poster that it is by 'The Makers of Goodfellas' and indeed this film does share one thing in common with Goodfellas and that is that both film share the same executive producer (Barbara De Fina). I suspect that this was a marketing tool employed to try to sucker more people into watching the film or buying the DVD. All I'll say is that Assassin & Goodfellas may share the same producer, but they are worlds apart in terms of quality....

The problems really start with Danny Dyer and to say that his acting is weak would be putting it kindly, but even for him this was bad. He is lifeless and unenthusiastic here and looked as bored as I was through the entirety of the film. It isn't all Dyer's fault though - the script is rather weak and has very little drive to it. It was one of those films that seemed to establish story arcs, but then decided not to follow them through (such as the money held in the dodgy offshore account). The film also features The Kemp brothers who are basically just playing the Krays twins all over again. In itself this doesn't sound too bad and had the film had the brutality and the engaging narrative that The Krays offered then it probably would have made for a much better film. As it is screenwriter J.K Amalou fails to develop John and Lee as characters and gives the Kemps very little to work which results in them almost resorting to self-parody. I also thought it was interesting that a big deal seemed to made about the fact that John was ill only then to find that we're not told what illness he was suffering from or how he injured his leg? These things aren't really important to the story, but it would have been nice if some background had been afforded just to flesh the characters out a bit. In terms of performances, no-one else really made much of an impression on me here although Holly Weston was quite effective in some scenes.

I think the worst thing about this film is that it fails to actually have one strong or effective scene; it's a thriller without thrills and really is just a boring non-event film. Although it's a terrible film the only saving grace is that I only wasted 80 minutes of my life watching this film. Please don't waste any of your own time watching it.

I don't mind Danny in the right context, and the Krays... Sorry, Kemps.

My expectations weren't very high to start with.

But this is just awful, I couldn't get past for first 10 mins or so.

I agree with the other reviews, don't bother.

Very simple story, Danny Dyer is an assassin, he kills a guy for Gary and Martin Kemp - still trying to maintain their gangster image after almost 30 years from doing The Krays.

Danny is somehow pumping the daughter of the victim. The Krays want her dead too.

Short story: they all end up dead, Danny ends up in jail after confessing.

My review is better than the film.

My review sucks.

Acting is terrible - forget it!! Story is Terrible. Action is pretty poor as well

Please Danny stop! You are not a action hero, well not after this garbage anyway. I am beginning to believe that Danny Dyer can't read and he will just agree to any film after pretending to read the script, there can't be any way he read this script and said "sounds great, sign me up!"

Terrible film, truly terrible.

Looks like it's been made on a budget on £5 using a GoPro without a gimbal or external mic. The shots looked rushed and the lighting in some scenes is truly horrific.

0/10 if I could.

It's filmed in mostly sepia tones, looking like about 1970, it seems like some shots are blurry.

The acting is awful. The ladies is a quiet soldier type.reminds me a bit of V Zelensky which is a tiny bit hot, but it doesn't help anything.

Whoever did the subtitles obviously hadn't heard an English Cockney accent because many of them were completely wrong. (I watch subtitles as my hearing isn't that great, but I heard it well enough to understand what they were saying & it changed context of what was going on).

I don't know how far I am into it, but it's dire. I was surprised it got a 3.8. I watch bad movies for fun & can usually find something redeeming.

Omg. They are following the guy, he loses the (Obviously knowing he's followed) & his follower caught him & parked across the street with him looking at him.

If I watch it through it will be because I have every intention of falling asleep for the rest.