Asteroid vs Earth

An asteroid is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. This one is 200 miles wide; comparatively, the one thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs was only six miles wide. Ouch. For some nonsensical reasons, it is decided to move Earth out of the way. Earthquakes are set to "blow up the Yap Trench" and save the planet. Taking the planet Earth out of its orbit and rotation would also kill everyone, but nobody seems to care. US military officials abduct undersea deep sea geophysicist Tia Carrere (as Marissa Knox) and nuclear submarine pilot Jason Brooks (as Chase Seward) to assist in moving Earth. They were just about to have sex, but Earth comes first...

Science fiction at its worst. Christopher Douglas Olen Ray unsteadily directs this woefully haphazard disaster movie. The plot makes no scientific sense; grade-school knowledge about Earth and the solar system are, apparently, forgotten by college students. While writer Adam Lipsius scores points with diverse characters, they have little chemistry and no community. Several take the assignment too seriously. This may be why less seasoned performers like Charles Byun (as Evan "Telly" Kitsias) outperform elders like Robert Davi (as Jim Masterson). The most memorable co-stars, Wade F. Wilson and Craig Blair (as Rudy and Terry), never appear on screen together.

** Asteroid vs Earth (4/29/14) Christopher Ray ~ Jason Brooks, Tia Carrere, Robert Davi, Wade F. Wilson

From a floating half submarine with a lawn chair as a control seat to such an exaggerated dialogue, I don't see how this movie even made it to TV... boy was this a sad movie to watch... did it win Golden Raspberry award!! If not it should!!

There's no excuse for bad writing, bad screenplay, bad sets, bad camera work, and bad directing. Nothing was thought out nor there was no insightful preparation to keep things real. The pacing was horrible and there was no military liaison to ensure that the rank structure or feel of a military presence was kept in tune with what to expect in running a ship, more so a submarine. Being a veteran of the U.S. Submarine Force, I gave this film a chance, but using a surface ship to present the inside of a submarine???...they would have had a better set using the inside of a car garage with PVC pipes taped along the walls. Even the uniforms were wrong, no haircuts, wrong use of rankings. The list goes on and on. The angle with the young, hotshot scientist was such a dumb move and there's no real linear threat with the time and distance of the approaching asteroid.

Most of the actors in this film are washed up and probably needed the money, so they must have just been going through the motions to complete the film to receive their paychecks. I expected better from two or three of the actors, hopefully to lead and guide other actors towards a better film. But in the end, the whole thing falls apart in the first 15 minutes of the film. I held back from throwing up watching the rest.

Stick a fork in the director, his career is done.

If you're a seasoned movie goer but have become tired of the relentless big box office releases then this is the movie for you.

You'll need to nail your feet to the floor and duct tape your eyes open for the full 90 minute duration if you're to reap the benefit offered by this pox riddled flick.

I'm unable to divulge any further details, as if you've not seen this movie then you'll think I made the whole thing up.

On the upside, you'll come out the other side with a new appreciation of those big box office movies.

"Asteroid vs. Earth" tells the same old story of an asteroid on collision course with earth - however, the plan to avoid the collision is different from previous movies on the same subject. Instead of blowing up the asteroid, the protagonists want to cause a massive earthquake, 18 (!) on the Richter scale, to push the earth out of the way. Robert Davi plays a 4 star general who is immediately convinced this lunatic plan is great. So let's blow up the earth to save it! Tia Carrere plays a scientist who is more or less abducted to co-operate, otherwise I presume no person with a scientific mind - or any mind for that matter - would take part in this enterprise. If someone seriously attempts to list the goofs in this movie, especially things are technically not possible, he'll be busy for days.

The most enjoyable thing on the Blu-ray disc was the making of, when the stars try desperately to keep a straight face, saying thinks like "I signed for the movie because I thought the script was brilliant". Yes, sure, most likely that's how it happened.