The Brand New Testament

God exists. He lives in Brussels with his wife and daughter. God is a self-centered sadistic bully who, out of sheer boredom, created people to torture them. Most of his time he spends creating (Murphy's) laws by which the world will function, with the sole purpose to annoy, frustrate and harass humanity as much as possible, and the rest of the time he causes wars, accidents, and natural disasters. When his son tried to stop this terror and change the world for the better he ended up crucified. And now his ten-year-old daughter has had enough and she takes matters into her own hands. She runs away, appoints six apostles and writes "The Brand New Testament."

Ea: How do you choose apostles? Jesus: Pretend like you know, no one will question you.

This surreal and absurdist black-humorous drama deals with eternal questions of the meaning of life, death, and love. Some accuse it of trying to impress by the quasi-philosophical depth, but I disagree with that. I would not say that this film fakes anything in any way. I have the impression that Jaco Van Dormael has come up with a good idea and simply let it grow and take its course, without restrictions and censorship.

The cast is excellent, and particularly prominent are Benoit Poelvoorde, in the role of crazed God, and young and cute Pili Groyne, who carries almost the entire movie, uniting the child's innocence and naivety with the wisdom and determination of the new messiah. Directing, cinematography and music are simply magical, and although the film has some technical shortcomings, it didn't bother me at all. I would say that some scenes pay homage to other films. I think I recognized "The Eighth Day", which also was written and directed by Jaco Van Dormael, then Kubrick's "The Shining" and Darabont's "The Shawshank Redemption", as well as several others for which I am not so sure.

This is the official Belgian submission for the 2016 Academy Awards. Competition must have been really strong when it did not pass. If this and my recommendation are not enough for you to watch it, the fact that it was created by the same man who was responsible for "The Eighth Day" and "Mr. Nobody" should prevail.

8,5/10

Ladies, this one is for you. Some of you may have suspected it all along, but this film confirms God is a chauvinist pig (well, the clues were all there, come to think of it). Luckily - but unbeknownst to most - God also has a daughter, and she's had enough of her mean-spirited, bad-tempered Father and is about to teach Him a lesson.

With the help of her brother (yes, THAT brother) and a somewhat unorthodox band of newly appointed disciples, she's determined to make her own mark on the universe. Needless to say, God's having none of it and tries to do everything in His - considerable - power to stop His rebellious daughter from undoing everything He's worked so hard for.

This hilarious satire is a firework of inspired ideas and just a blast from start to finish. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves intelligent, absurdist comedy in the vein of 'Life of Brian' or 'South Park' and doesn't get easily offended. 8 stars out of 10.

In case you're interested in more underrated masterpieces, here's a list with some of my favorites:

imdb.com/list/ls070242495

Belgian director Jaco Van Dormael enjoys instant fame from his director debut TOTO THE HERO back in 1991, THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT is technically his fifth feature-length film if one includes his hands-only experimental work KISS & CRY (2011), which also finds a niche in the movie, but for a more mainstream audience, it is the long-waited follow up to his cult fantasy MR. NOBODY 2009.

Judging by its name, this fantastic comedy blatantly satires the existence of God, who is played by Poelvoode in his crankiest temperament, a middle-aged man living in an apartment in Brussels, with his humble wife (Moreau), their daughter Ea (Groyne) and the absence of their son Jesus Christ (Murgia). God is testy, abusive to his wife and daughter, plays tricks to human beings through his omnipotent computer simply out of boredom. One day Ea is punished for sneaking into his office and realises what her father is doing in his office hour, she decides to play tit-for-tat, at first, she clandestinely sends the death countdown of everyone in Brussels from God's computer to everyone's cellphones, then crawls from the washing machine of their apartment to the real world for the first time and resolves to find 6 disciples (thanks to the instruction of J.C.), to write down a new testament, in order to save the world from being a plaything of the abominable God.

Can you buy this context? It is archetype of some less intelligent lifeforms try to envision a much profound scenario (which is in every respect out of their comprehension) with their own rather narrow knowledges, to entertain themselves, so its innate drawback is the bitter taste of self- consciousness with this paradoxical situations: in one hand, it is massively pleasing to dethrone our creator from his reverential pedal, and put him in our shoes and being ridiculed to the hilt (he is actually beaten by a priest at one time), but in the other hand, one tends to be disillusioned by this self-pleasing approach, even in our widest imagination, God is so earth-bound with human-friendly technology, and living conditions, too blasé to feel thrilled.

From the hardware department, this CGI-heavy picture looks pristine but artificial, but one cannot help but flashing a smile when sees Denueve's apostle Martine cuddling with a not-so-convincing gorilla, a knowing nod to Nagisa Oshima's MAX MON AMOUR (1986). And a revamped appendix where a Goddess to take over the power is self-pleasing to contradict the patriarchal system, but a female-friendly sky pattern or a walking with your pet fish under the sea, or swapping the gestation to male, only means something novel to experience, with no say to contend it is a better world. Still, it is a venturing project to tackle with those larger-than-life if not entirely zany propositions, most amusingly is the exposure of everyone's remaining time, turns out to be a goldmine to ridicule the vagaries of human behaviour.

The design of Ea's six disciples is to encourage ourselves to be more communicative, to open up instead of indulging in one's own propensities, and to pursue what our hearts really crave for (a repetitive troupe of a theme song for every soul). Newcomer Pili Groyne impresses with her cherubic and precocious attributes (but how come God has a daughter only ten years old? This is a minefield Dormael refuses to elucidate); supporting players are all bigger names in French- speaking cinema, but none of them is required to perform other than their characters' formulated quirks.

All in all, the intention behind Dormael's comedy is genial and it aims for distraction rather than religion-defiance, it is not a divine eye-opener like it advertises, but neither is a disappointing pap, it sits somewhere in between, quite comfortably.

This takes many things that people question about reality and turn them into comedy (bread falling always on the side that has something on it instead of the other side amongst other things). The beginning really has some drive to it and it is overall a fun movie to watch. It does take its time though, especially when it comes to "choosing" people and giving us their back-story.

The acting is good, though some of the themes will rather annoy than offend people. Whether they are atheist or religious won't matter, if you don't think it's funny. And while it's provocative, it's also sort of "respectful" in a way. Still the basic idea alone almost warrants the running time and the viewing itself.

This is a fantasy, black comedy. Jesus Christ's kid sister Ea is living with their dad, God, and their mum, Goddess, in a city apartment in Brussels in the present day. She is sick of God's cruel and violent ways and at age 10, puts an end to it by freezing his computer and fleeing the apartment into the city.

Her last act before sabotaging her evil Dad is to text everyone with their date of death as her father, God, has fated it. This causes first a media storm, then great changes in the world and for individuals now certain of the imminence or otherwise of their mortality.

It is a wild romp as young Ea sets out with a homeless man as a scribe to find another half dozen disciples to add to her big brother's twelve, and write The Brand New Testament based on details of ordinary people's lives.

It is more whimsical and generous than blasphemous, but still, atheists will be as thrilled as believers will be enchanted, by the new apostles.

The storytelling is exquisite; Amelie-esque might be the best description of the style. Elaborately constructed frames of short bursts of gorgeous, surreal elements pepper the action to ensure that this movie is a very rare delight.

Gloriously inventive, coherent, hilarious, metaphysical, philosophical, big-hearted, and satisfying. This is 5 star entertainment for 15 and up.

Andrew Bunney, Let's Go To The Pictures, Three D Radio, Adelaide