The Haunted House on Kirby Road

This movie holds it together just enough to eke out a second star and nothing more. Not scary, not funny, not much of anything. Plus the final girl is such a stick in the mud that you end up rooting for the ghost.

This weird turd is some kind of a teen comedy with horror elements and the mess just doesn't work, mostly because everything is done so horribly badly. Script is childish, acting very poor, characters are annoying and you just wish them to die fast and finally there is the most irritating sound effect played all the time towards the end.

We have these 3 nerds that somehow just have 3 hot girls ready to hang with them for some reason. Now of course everybodys smoking weed but nobody is high, although it's a bit bad taste to have a "teen" driver under the influence. Now clearly we are to think them as underage, though the description for the movie calls them 20-somethings which seems more likely since the actors don't look like teens.

All other people we see are a store clerk that is a strange pervert (I didn't know buying condoms was so difficult in USA) and a crazy cop that serves no purpose to the movie what so ever.

Now we finally get to the haunted house where we endure some stupid clichés from every teen movie ever and then we get to enjoy the stupidest thing ever invented in movie history - the sound of heartbeat being played loud every other minute to tell you that something scary might happen. That sound makes you wanna puch the sound guy of this sad excuse of a movie.

Wow. That was awful.Wow. That was awful. Wow. That was awful. Wow. That was awful. Wow. That was awful. Wow. That was awful.

This movie has, hands down, the most annoying, obnoxious, insufferable cast of 'teenagers' I have ever seen. I don't understand why any of them are friends. I don't understand why any of them HAVE any friends. Even the Final Girl is fairly unlikeable. And don't even get me started on 'Truggers' (The worst nickname in the world, by the way.)- I figure they're all just using him for his stepdad's shed.

I see reviews praising the film's beginning, but I don't get that at all. It's just a bunch of on-the-nose dialogue setting up who's who and what's what and jerks being mean to each other. And don't even get me started on the extended sequence of us watching our 'heroes' watch videos on the internet.

Even as boneheaded as the screenplay was I still chuckled a few times at some of the lines, so at least the actors were putting all they could into their awful characters. But I was more often laughing at things that the filmmakers probably not intend for me to laugh at.

In short, this movie sucks on wheels. Avoid at all costs.

The first say twenty minutes weren't that bad at all. Somehow the director succeeded in picturing the boredom of blasé teens very well, like "chilling" together without a clue how to fill the time or what to talk about. See for instance how they morosely hung in their seats in the haunted house, before the things got rough. There's also a short but brilliant scene when they stop at a gas-station to buy condoms, and the guy at the counter insists on giving an educational demonstration, really hilarious.

But this movie set out to be a horror flick, and here it failed completely. The premise was far fetched to begin with (but hey, what horror-premise isn't?!), and the subsequent goings-on were ludicrous and totally unscary, not even amusing in a campy sort of way.

In short, a superfluous wannabe horrorflick, with in a few scenes the shimmering of real cinematographic potential.