American Guinea Pig: The Song of Solomon

This one was so bad and an extreme let down. Nothing like the other american guinea pig movies. The whole vibe was off. And tbh I really have nothing good to say about it other than the ending was kind of funny. It's straight up a badly done dark comedy. Also.. the guinea pig and american guinea pig movies are known for the gore. The gore in this movie is so poorly done...its like they bought some cheap props from a Halloween shop and put slime on it. I dont think I could ever reccomend this movie to folks. If you want to see an extremely badly done movie..this one will be the movie for you no doubt about it.

Could a film be much worse?... Ummm NO. I won't reiterate what's already been rightfully said about, the acting, stealing of scenes from other films ect. It's all true. And almost impossible to sit through. I'd give it a negative number except for the trooper performance by the actress trying to make something out of leftovers. I'm sure you'll have to see it now, but do yourself a favor. Find the boots or, as many have had their fill quickly, used copes for a couple bucks. Move along nothing to see here

The Song of Solomon is a bit of a departure for the American Guinea Pig series: instead of virtually plot-free systematic torture, the film depicts the exorcism of a young woman, Mary (Jessica Cameron), by a series of Catholic priests, which, in true Unearthed Films style, results in lots of gory mayhem. In fact, director Stephen Biro piles on so much splatter that his film becomes comedic in its excess, which I don't believe was the intention.

For me, the gore that broke the camel's back was a scene clearly inspired by Fulci's Gates of Hell (AKA City of the Living Dead), wherein Mary yarfs up her insides. After a lot of reaching, up come her small intestines-but wait, there's more: a couple of organs are thrown up onto her bed in a bloody heap, followed by a large intestine. But Biro doesn't stop there... he has Mary pick up each glistening organ and stuff them back into her mouth one-by-one. This goes on for so long that it's hard to take seriously. Also giving me the giggles is the moment when the final priest gives up reading stuff from his Little Book of Exorcism and climbs on top of Mary to hump the demon out of her - it's supposed to be shocking (I think), but I couldn't keep a straight face.

The best moment comes towards the end of the film (just before the humping), when Mary's contorted limbs snap and split open (sterling work by make-up effects guys Jerami Cruise and Marcus Koch) - that part was as close to revolting as it gets - but the rest of the film is just a poor man's The Exorcist with much more blood and a silly 'twist' ending.

There aren't enough words in the English language to describe just how awful this film is. Completely devoid of substance and lacking of any redeeming quality. Not to mention what an awful person the director is. Absolutely nothing worth anything here.

I think my biggest issue with this movie is that it tries way too hard to be serious, but none of the acting is good enough to be taken even remotely seriously. If it had even taken a couple brief moments to make a light joke here and there, so we know not to take it so serious, it could've helped it a tad. The bad actors overacting resulted in a lot of unintentional comedy.

The fact we did not see the possessed girl before the possession, in an innocent state, also lessened the effect in my opinion. Not like I wanted this film to be any longer than it already was, but I felt like I kept getting introduced to more and more new characters that I just didn't care about or know enough about to care, when I didn't even know anything about the lead girl in the first place. That makes for a pretty big chore to sit through this one.

But I don't believe they were concerned much with character development anyway, they were much more concerned with the splatter. Which is totally fine! I love gore flicks. There are a few fine displays of effect work in this film. The finale was rather impressive in that aspect. But when there's nothing else going for it, and the film just isn't good enough to believable, I feel the impact of the gore is also lessened.

With some better actors, maybe this movie would have succeeded for me. But as is, it should've known to keep it's tongue firmly in cheek so the viewer could've had a more enjoyable time with it.