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Following 9/11, 12 Green Berets go into Afghanistan to help an Afghani general take critical cities from the Taliban.

I guess I watched this for two big reasons. First, I was a bit bored, and this looked like it'd probably be good enough to cure that. Second, the cast looked pretty good, and I figured anything with that many recognizable names would at least be watchable. Overall, I think it succeeded in its primary objective: to cure my boredom.

The big problem critics seemed to have was that it lacked depth. I, too, felt that it lacked depth. At one point, I caught myself thinking, "I hope they don't kill off Michael Shannon or Michael Pena", and then I wondered to myself why I didn't care about any of the other soldiers. The truth is that there are only a few people in the movie that truly have a personality. It's not a deal-breaker in an action movie, but it's something to keep in mind if you're expecting something more than that.

The other major problem was that there wasn't a whole lot of visible tactics. It's obvious that these men had their work cut out for them, and I think we do get a sense of that. However, there isn't much depth to the fighting. The movie makes these Green Berets seem like the luckiest people alive rather than the most skilled. It's like when you see Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dolph Lundgren standing still with an automatic weapon, killing all the bad guys without using any tactics. Fine for a cheesy scifi movie, not so great for a war movie set in the real world.

Even so, I found myself getting a little wrapped up in following these guys. I'm sure I'd have liked it more if it had been deeper on any level, but it's still quite watchable. If all you're really looking for is a good time, check it out. If you want more than explosions and heroic dudes leading the charge, maybe look for a different movie.

A group of people accept an invitation to an escape room, which turns out to be deadly, of course.

This is a cheesy horror movie themed around escape rooms. Despite how dumb that premise is, it still has some room for some promise. If they gave you enough clues to solve it yourself, you could play along at home. Or they could at least give you something to think about, like Vincenzo Natali's awesome cult movie Cube.

The acting is alright. During the scenes of normalcy, I thought people did a good job, actually. But then the music started going crazy, and everyone started shouting. I rolled my eyes a few times during these "intense" scenes. The thing is, Adam Robitel proved he could do creepy scenes in The Taking of Deborah Logan. I think maybe he was let down by the writers and producers.

The special effects are alright. Sometimes they look pretty cool, other times they look a bit cheap for a 2025 movie. The escape rooms are alright, too. They're fairly imaginative. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure that the premise lends itself to imaginative set pieces. I thought to myself, "Ooh, maybe this room will be really off the wall, like a space station!" But, no, there's nothing like that.

Curiously, there's no real gore to speak of. I think it worked out alright. It's an odd choice for a horror movie, but I guess teenagers are a very lucrative market for horror movies these days. One of the main characters is a youngish woman, so it seems like they're trying to keep their demographic doors open. She was also probably the most interesting character.

If you're intrigued by the thought of a Cube or Saw clone that excises all the gore, it can't hurt to give a look on a streaming service. If you're a hardcore horror fan, though, I can't recommend it.

A rookie who works for the CIA becomes responsible for one of the biggest, baddest double-agents.

This isn't a bad movie at all, but it would probably be forgettable without the cool cast. I think most people would agree that putting Denzel Washington into a movie automatically makes it better. I'm sure it's fun to play a turncoat spy who is wanted internationally, and who wouldn't want to be in a fun spy thriller with Denzel?

The downside is that the plot is probably not exactly the most unique thing you've ever seen, and the directing can at times be downright infuriating. It's a relic of 2010s action-thrillers, full of stupid shakycam and fast cuts. It's impossible to see what's going on during one of the early action sequences, which, all by itself, probably has more cuts than most entire action movies. After that, it settles down to pretty tolerable levels, though.

There are a lot of shoot-outs, punches, and "There he is! Shoot him!" But there are also enough pauses in the action that you get an idea of who these people are. This is where you become glad that you've got a good cast. Denzel in particular can turn a morally ambiguous spy, which should by all rights make you roll your eyes, into a lovable rogue who's actually lovable.

If you're a fan of any of the actors, check it out. You'll probably like Safe House enough to forgive it of its flaws.