crom-dubh

I'll start by saying the show looks really good. I also appreciate that it's a bit of a slower burn with not much actual xenomorph action, at least not in the way most audiences are probably expecting (or hoping). It's an interesting new angle on the Alien universe, where we get a better look at the corporate reality of Earth.

But it's held back by some weird creative choices that don't really work.

First of all, a good chunk of the main cast are basically children who have been given young adult bodies. This results in a lot of people acting much more childish than their appearance would lead you to expect. It's an interesting idea, but it mostly just makes a lot of scenes feel very awkward in a way that doesn't contribute any meaning.

The music is also really uneven. I won't say it's as bad as Disney's Willow series, but there's still a lot of rather out-of-place music here. I like Tool as much as the next guy but I don't know why 90s kids-turned-filmmakers are compelled toward this kind of anachronism.

Some of the dialog is just really disconnected, and seems like it's trying to build characterization without being properly thought out or connected to choice or action.

The result of all of this is a bizarrely disjointed show that at times feels like it could be really interesting but then veers sharply towards nonsense. There's something vaguely compelling about that, but it's also hard to say it's actually good.

How does this movie have such positive reviews? I don't see how anyone can say this isn't the worst of the series. Where do I even start?

The most obvious problem is that the writing and story in this are atrocious. Where the first film just asked us to go along with a premise that was pretty silly but simple enough, over the time the series has asked us to accept more and more nonsense in the service of its bloated world-building. The whole concept and scope of the High Table elements were stupid from the moment they were introduced, but in this film it reaches ridiculous proportions. The character interactions are all so cringe-worthy. I don't think there's a single scene in this film that makes any sense if you actually think about it. The first film works as a 'dumb action movie', and the silly story is in fact part of the joke. This is a joke that has long since stopped being funny.

The acting is terrible. I don't even feel like Keanu wants to be doing this anymore. Even the fight choreography feels weirdly sloppy. There's one scene where you can clearly see an opponent go to attack John from behind but then pause for a second because he realizes he's off cue because John is still dealing with the enemy in front of him.

The film is also about twice as long as it should be. At almost 3 hours long, it's genuinely a chore to get through. I can't remember the last time I was this bored during an action film. They tried to cram too much in here that doesn't add to it at all. I have no idea why the Tracker character even exists. The film is a total mess.

Most of the negative reviews are comparing this to a video game. I think that's unfair: most video games are way more fun than this. Rather generously giving it a 4/10.

I'm a big fan of both Raid films so I was interested to see a film in that style starring Tom Hardy. Unfortunately the results are nowhere near as good.

The writing in this movie is really bad. The dialog is ridiculous and full of clichés. The actual plot of the movie is so stupid if you actually stop to think about it: Hardy's character has to find and protect two people who are now wanted by a foreign mob because... they were in the same building where a bunch of their people were killed. They have zero reason to believe that they were the ones who even did it, but here they're 100% sure.

The look of the movie is rather bad. It's trying to be super gritty like a Batman movie but everything looks so fake. Even basic shots of cars driving on a road look like CGI (probably because they are). Most of the action is done with horrible shaky cam so good luck even being able to tell what's happening half the time. Everyone basically has infinite bullets so it's just people getting splattered all over the place repeatedly. There's even a scene in a hospital where a guy unloads on a woman over and over again with a pistol that apparently behaves like an Uzi. I don't think the director knows how guns work.

In spite of it all, there are some entertaining action scenes with some gnarly kills that will evoke The Raid. I'm being pretty generous with my 6/10 rating because for all the movie's many flaws, I was at least not bored. But this is not a great movie - this is *not* on the same level as Evans best, and Hardy is pretty wasted here.