I must confess that I had a boil about the size of a quarter on my right ass cheek... If you think that's gross, just wait.
I proceeded to pop said boil just about ten minutes ago and it took quite a bit of work. I first had to draw up the pus by squeezing the surrounding area of the boil toward the head, then I tried to pop the boil but it wouldn't give. So I then used a pair of nail clippers (I didn't have access to anything else at the time) to pierce the skin slightly. I didn't pierce the sack of the boil because I didn't want to create an even worse infection. So I simply pierced a couple layers of skin, just enough to make it bleed and create an opening for the pus to escape once I pop the boil.
Then I squeezed the sides of the giant boil as hard as I could and *squirt* I pooped it, creating a jet of blood and pus that shot at least three feet horizontally. It could have gone probably six feet if it hadn't sprayed all over my bedroom wall (don't worry. I took Lysol to it immediately).
After draining the huge boil on my ass, I died of a terrible staph infection and had purple and pink chicken pox on my dick... Ok the last paragraph was made up but the rest really happened and it hurt like a mother fucker!