i confess i need some advice ML readers. me and my girlfriend of 3+ yrs have been in a bit of a sexual rut lately (by rut i mean we dont experiment kinda just stick to a few positions and only once or twice aweek) and trust me ive talked to her about it. shes great and i plan to marry her because everything except oursex life is amazing but she is the only girl ive pretty much done anything with since im only 21, sometimes i just wonder if 10 yrs down the road i wish i had more experiences and stuff like that i mean at 21 i feel 30+ in a lot of ways i dont party no real crazy stories just kinda spend time with my girl which is great but somedays (like today i wonder if i will resent the relationship down the road for missing out) anyone who has a similar kinda story out there married and still married young and with a low number of partners. 95% of the time im happy but that 5 % sneaks up when i here of a crazy party or one night stand makes me wonder if im missing out, i mean i also feel its gotten to the point im robbing her of partying or "slutting out a bit" because all her friends go clubbing and she doesnt even want to cuz of me (i dont mind because i trust her) and i should maybe be happy but i feel like 10 yrs down the road she may feel like she missed out on experiences too and then we're 30 and getting divorced idk just some perspective would be nice. I expect stupid responses it ML but even if i get 1 actually thought out piece of advice it would help i will respond back if you have any questions and want me to go further into detail in what i mean. btw im not posting pics or anything as our looks and stuff have nothing to do with the advice im seeking
Replies 9
You're incorrectly applying male logic to your girlfriend. Most women would much rather have one committed guy they are with than a different guy every weekend for "wild sex".
The rest were molested.
op here you make a good point. i hope that us being together from a younger age her 16 me 17 and going into adulthood without too many other experiences (none besides making out and handsy stuff for either of us)doesnt end up being something that causes either of us to cheat. ya know i mean ive heard a lot of girls have those college years to really go wild and find themselves and stuff well with our relationship she cant have that without cheating therefor i feel i may be stunting her sexual growth. it may sound stupid now but its something i worry for in the next 3-10 yrs. i mean it makes me happy she would rather make plans with me than friends but with too much of that then her friends kinda just start not asking her to go out and she wonders why. maybe im overthinking things. idk but the lack of sex in the relationship lately kinda worries me because that was never a problem before.
Yes, I think you are overthinking things, but not in an uncommon way. "I want things for you, that are actually 100% for me, but saying it's for you sounds better" is pretty-much the standard way to present things nowadays.
Take her at her word she doesn't want the "wild sex". You do. Start from the honest baseline and see if she'll accommodate you having sex more or in more varied ways. Since she seems to like you quite a bit, I expect she would be quite willing.
im not exactly trying to present it like that, im worried for both of us. that being said i dont wanna throw away a really good relationshipt to bang sluts or anything im pretty happy with the way things are its more like when i hear of a one night stand my buddy has or college parties i get invited too i remeber oh yea im 21 thats normal for this age i mean i have a pretty ok career (im obviously just starting out) we live together now, she works also. idk any female perspectives out there? anyone who married young and stayed together? i do agree mostly with the two responses so far although i have talked to and she seems to think its normal and that were not "kids anymore we dont have to fuck all the time to be happy" but i mean when we do its pretty generic doggy or one of us on top and at night in bed only.
let me tell you my similar experiences: i also had a girlfriend of 3 years, her 18 me 23. She always stayed home with me and kept telling me how perfect i am and how much she love me, dun wanna lose me and stuffs until she started to go out with some new friends. Last week she tried to break up with the "baby we need a break, i dont feel so close to you anymore and i wanna be with other guys too, lets also stay friends in case if we come back together". I wasnt satisfied with that answer and kept bugging her why; i found out she already had a new boyfriend for some days after she dropped me like some shit. Today i found out the bitch already confessing him love and he also got into her pants...i needed 2 years for that -.-
So be prepared for a breakup. It can happen tomorrow or in 20 years, you never know...
op here ^ first im sorry bro thats some bullshit she should had the balls (hopefully not literally) to breakup before cheating, sorry im anti cheating, that is exactly what im worried about i mean i just feel true love is kinda bullshit cuz society can be so fucked. we always need the new and best regardless of how great things are or have been.
spice it up dude...watch porn together..get her a vibrator to use during sex too perhaps introduce the idea of bringing another girl in ;) ..im kinda in the same spot as u with a committed relationship but im not having any sex problems
Having the same problem, we're 23 and been together 6 years. She thinks one night of kink will hold me over a week at a time. NOPE. Get's frustrating but what are you gonna do. Grin and bear and hope her sex drive comes back up because at the end of the day the sexy time is just a minimal percent of what is making the relationship worth having.
if you are not happy with your sex life now and you have talked to her about it with no change , then i have news for you ..... it will never get better and you will get more and more unhappy . people always make the mistake of not giving sex its proper value in a marriage . the two biggest reasons for divorce are sex and money . that tells you how important it is . your , or her lack of sexual partners isnt the problem . the lack of sexual compatability is the problem . if sex is not good now how do you think it is going to be when bills , and kids , and problems come into your relationship . have an honest talk with her about your concerns . if you dont you are sentencing yourself to a failed marriage.