v, she/they, latine, bi, multifandom
gifmaker, sometimes writer
i think my side effects to lexapro are getting better. tomorrow is a week and i’m still having some dizziness and other stomach issues but not as bad as a few days ago. my heart is definitely still racing almost all the time. i feel more anxious than i did before but not much. i think i can power through this to get to the good stuff. unfortunately tomorrow i’m supposed to go to to 10mg. so we’ll see how that goes 😅
Just Like the First Time.
Veronika, can I just send you a hug - no, wait, let it be 10 hugs - and let me just tell you that I truly support your desire to check if something is up or not. Hypochondria aside, YOU are the owner of your body, and YOU know the best what's right for you. I hope you can ask someone else for help driving you to and back from the hospital. I hope things are well, and that the doctor listens to you. There's no shame and nothing bad about wanting to be sure that you are okay. Sending you more hugs and kisses. You're super star for staying on top of your health game. Again, I hope that everything is alright, and that you're healthy.
Kisses! 💌
aaa sasha you are the sweetest person on earth, thank you sm bb 💖💖💖
to continue my x files art streak (as if I'd ever broken it): commission of Mulder and Scully in Ruth's Chris (never heard of this establishment before but the client's happy)
I also have a ton of stomach problems with colon cancer in my family history (tho the person went into remission almost 20 years ago thankfully) and I 100% understand how you feel! Have done so many Google deep dives on it and I’m about to be 30 & will prob get my first colonoscopy this year bc of the family history so. Just wanted to give you & other anon some solidarity and I’m hoping cancer is smth none of us have to deal with 💕
hugs! it just freaks me out i had a polyp at 21 like… maybe they told me and i forgot but i had no idea? i also now realize if i had done a follow up in 5 years that would have been in 2020 so i doubt it would have been a priority so i will just do it now and hope for the best! wishing you all the best too 💖💖💖🥺
I saw your post about worrying about you’re health and I know how you feel. My dad died of colon cancer when I was 16 and he was young so now I alway worry that I have cancer and don’t know I’ve even been to the doctor but they won’t do a procedure till im older or something happens, plus having stomach issues just makes me even more scared and anxiety doesn’t help. I know how you feel <3
🫂 it’s so shitty how they want to wait til something happens!! i am wishing no cancer for either of us ever ✨
I’m sorry if this is weird but I would give you the biggest hug in the world!! You seem like such a genuine person 🤗 and the way you talk in tags my favorite part of tumblr. I’m rooting for you!
thank you 🥺🥺🥺
i hate how aware i am that my aunt traumatized me i am since i moved out? when i was there and living in the mess, it was awful but i had a reason to be angry and to be scared and alert. just never knew what her mood would be. never knew if she would wake me up screaming or throwing things at me or breaking doors. but then some days she would be so nice and loving! so i just adapted to being very… detached? so i could adapt to whatever she threw at me. i got used to defending myself against things she said. she would randomly start talking shit about me. she would accuse me of thinking things i never thought, saying things i never said. now i feel like everyone secretly hates me, or that i’m annoying or taking up too much space. people talking or saying hi suddenly literally makes me jump. i hate the sound of doors closing too hard. i walk around with my jaw clenched. i get home and think “tomorrow i need to relax, i need to make more conversation, i need to xyz.” and then i STILL cant and i try so hard but wow i’m not who i used to be
i need a HUG
having a silent panic attack all alone is so weird like. i’m sitting here watching youtube and a video abt colon cancer just sends me into a spiral abt how i had a colonoscopy almost ten years ago and they found a small polyp and no one told me til last year and now i’m like i should have had another colonoscopy 4 years ago! FUCK! and now i need another colonoscopy bc i need to be sure there havent been more or that i dont have cancer and even if i dont have cancer having a colonoscopy is scary and sucks anyway and i will need my uncle to take me bc i WILL need to be knocked out and i will need to let them drive me home and i dont want them in my house and i dont trust them to not yell at me even days like that and its so weird to know u have family who will take you to the hospital but will yell at u the whole time??? anyway i’m gonna bring it up to my doctor again in 2 weeks bc she thinks its my anxiety since i AM young for colonoscopies anywys but i think i should have one!!!! thats what do it scared really means. my anxiety and hypochondria does not mean i can’t tell when something actually needs to be checked out
rejection sensitivity is so fucking lame. like boo hoo look at me i felt mildly ignored for 30 seconds and already started planning my own funeral liKE BITCH CHILL it was never that serious
edit: added the original source
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