Ever since I was a child I wanted to know God - a child's
understanding of a "religious" God, of course. I had a love
affair with Jesus, believing he would bring me to "God."
Then, as an adult, my search evolved and expanded to include
finding "myself", whoever she was/is :) Then the search for
Truth, Wisdom and Enlightenment - through Metaphysics,
Buddhism ( I was enamored with The Buddha, not Buddhism,
although there were many gems there that I have retained),
Advaita and Non-Duality, and Hinduism/Kashmir Shaivism.
with its many deities for all occasions. :)
I mean, what more could there be, right?
While each had their own unique "Way", they
were really all the same "path," under different disguises,
with different emphases.
understanding of a "religious" God, of course. I had a love
affair with Jesus, believing he would bring me to "God."
Then, as an adult, my search evolved and expanded to include
finding "myself", whoever she was/is :) Then the search for
Truth, Wisdom and Enlightenment - through Metaphysics,
Buddhism ( I was enamored with The Buddha, not Buddhism,
although there were many gems there that I have retained),
Advaita and Non-Duality, and Hinduism/Kashmir Shaivism.
with its many deities for all occasions. :)
I mean, what more could there be, right?
While each had their own unique "Way", they
were really all the same "path," under different disguises,
with different emphases.
And now through all my many meanderings, I am feeling the
need to settle in, deepen into the Depths within myself and see
what's there; not by following yet another particular external
"spiritual" path - but listening deeply to the Inner promptings
and opening to the Inner animating Life Energies, by spending
time in the Great Silence - which has been difficult to do lately...
need to settle in, deepen into the Depths within myself and see
what's there; not by following yet another particular external
"spiritual" path - but listening deeply to the Inner promptings
and opening to the Inner animating Life Energies, by spending
time in the Great Silence - which has been difficult to do lately...
Being on a "spiritual path" has always felt like I was intentionally
going SOMEwhere, seeking "Some-thing" that I would find at
the "end" of my journey; like retirement after a life of working;
or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow; or
even the mystical "Holy Grail." Or maybe even seeking an
"end" to suffering, pain, ignorance, my humanness, as I turned
into "Light" :), or even the end of seeking.
going SOMEwhere, seeking "Some-thing" that I would find at
the "end" of my journey; like retirement after a life of working;
or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow; or
even the mystical "Holy Grail." Or maybe even seeking an
"end" to suffering, pain, ignorance, my humanness, as I turned
into "Light" :), or even the end of seeking.
But what if there is no such "path", no need for seeking the
illusive big "S"-self that non-duality spiritual seekers are seeking?
I discovered for myself there isn't a big "S" "spiritual"-Self that
"we" become. There is no other "Self" to "find/become."
There's just our "Natural Self" or Essence that wants to be
discovered, recognized, known; that is playful, creative,
expressive and free...
illusive big "S"-self that non-duality spiritual seekers are seeking?
I discovered for myself there isn't a big "S" "spiritual"-Self that
"we" become. There is no other "Self" to "find/become."
There's just our "Natural Self" or Essence that wants to be
discovered, recognized, known; that is playful, creative,
expressive and free...
The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization"
(popularly known as "Non-Duality"), is much like all the other
paths I have taken throughout my life. It's just another construct.
I found that the Emperor has no clothes! And I'd rather not
describe "Truth" by a negative - with no-me, no-self-, no-other,
no-world - as "Truth" is all inclusive - including duality, me, self,
other, and world.
(popularly known as "Non-Duality"), is much like all the other
paths I have taken throughout my life. It's just another construct.
I found that the Emperor has no clothes! And I'd rather not
describe "Truth" by a negative - with no-me, no-self-, no-other,
no-world - as "Truth" is all inclusive - including duality, me, self,
other, and world.
Even if one follows "a path" there is no guarantee that we will
discover what we are looking for, and life will not suddenly
become easy or flowing with bliss. We won't necessarily lose
our personality with its quirks, our conditioning, or our neuroses.
The "ego" doesn't die! - gasp... It's all part of the package, our
uniqueness. Ego is an interface with the Natural Self/Essence.
discover what we are looking for, and life will not suddenly
become easy or flowing with bliss. We won't necessarily lose
our personality with its quirks, our conditioning, or our neuroses.
The "ego" doesn't die! - gasp... It's all part of the package, our
uniqueness. Ego is an interface with the Natural Self/Essence.
Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or
our pain, or our stories. Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
that we will actually see life differently from either the mountain-
top, or with nose to the ground; or suddenly find our "purpose" -
as if there was only one. But no one tells us this about "the path.
It has to be discovered for ourselves - even if we have a "Teacher",
or use a "Teaching" to point the way... We still have to travel
our own unique way...
our pain, or our stories. Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
that we will actually see life differently from either the mountain-
top, or with nose to the ground; or suddenly find our "purpose" -
as if there was only one. But no one tells us this about "the path.
It has to be discovered for ourselves - even if we have a "Teacher",
or use a "Teaching" to point the way... We still have to travel
our own unique way...
Years of seeking, realization, and recognition brought me to an old
realization that rediscovering the Essence of who I am, the Natural
Self within a Divine Cosmology, is through awareness of and deep
intimacy with the Great Silence within; (the 4th "key" that I found
on the way, although should probably be the first) through
continually coming back to the space of Silent, Still, Innate Knowing -
which of course is wherever we are, not off in the distance somewhere
It's not a place. "The path" doesn't go anywhere. There is no
reward at the end. It's an inner pathless path... And that's the "path"
that I keep returning to :) - rediscovering this deep inner Silence
again and again - remembering the underlying Rhythm of the
Cosmos ItSelf - humming in and through me...
realization that rediscovering the Essence of who I am, the Natural
Self within a Divine Cosmology, is through awareness of and deep
intimacy with the Great Silence within; (the 4th "key" that I found
on the way, although should probably be the first) through
continually coming back to the space of Silent, Still, Innate Knowing -
which of course is wherever we are, not off in the distance somewhere
It's not a place. "The path" doesn't go anywhere. There is no
reward at the end. It's an inner pathless path... And that's the "path"
that I keep returning to :) - rediscovering this deep inner Silence
again and again - remembering the underlying Rhythm of the
Cosmos ItSelf - humming in and through me...
Ommmmmm....
_/\_
Namasate
Namasate
Mystic Meandering
updated Aug 18, 2023
updated Aug 18, 2023
It's never ending... :)
~
Photo - Mystic Meandering