I shared this on Twitter back in the day but Tumblr should have this too:

give him soup.

every day I have to make decisions

Mario: Mama Mia! its-a us from another dimension!

Latino Mario: yup, we're the Mario and Luigi from the universe where you're latinos.

Luigi: But-a how can we be different ethnicities if we have the same parents?

Latino Mario: That's a good question. See, this is a matter of racialization. Despite common belief, race isn't really biological. It's a social category decided by societal and political factors. In our timeline, the mushroom kingdom became part of the sand kingdom some 100 years ago. Eventually we, in the eyes of broader society, became considered latino. And therefore non-white.

Latino Luigi: What he said! We have the exact same genetic make-up as you guys, and yet we're considered a completely different race! Throughout human history there have been numerous instances of groups shifting status in racialization. Notably… Italians! Not too long ago, Italians were racialized, and considered non-white people. However, due to numerous shifts in society and politics, they were eventually absorbed into “whiteness”. Same goes for the Irish.

Latino Mario: So race isn't real in the literal sense. And is not based in biology as much as being a social category. It's similar to gender in that regard. Of course, it goes without saying that they are socially real in the sense that whether you're racialized or not has severe social consequences. My brother and I have been subject to much racially motivated discrimination and violence. To an extent that you, our Italian counterparts, have not.

Latino Luigi: Yeah, I mean, really, race mostly exists to make a difference between “white people” and “non white” people. At least the way I see it. I mean, why the hell is Europe and Asia separated? It's ‘cause the white folks dont wanna be lumped in with what they consider the other!

Latino Mario: Exactly Lu, the concept of race that has been perpetuated within society is heavily linked with all sorts of nasty stuff. Blood quantum, the idea of racial purity, the myth of white genocide, IQ tests, its a mess really.

Italian Luigi: Mama mia… are there-a more changes in-a racialization that could happen in-a the future?

Latino Luigi: Oh I don't know… maybe the Russians will be considered racialized while the Ukrainians won't. That is, putting aside the sizable Asian and brown population of Russia. I'm talking those pale, potentially blonde and blue-eyed folks. Or brunettes. You get what I mean.

Latino Mario: You said it bro. You said it.

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

Collecting these rn