jaime giving brienne oathkeeper means so much to me, he's so in love with her

“Men will always underestimate you, and their pride will make them want to vanquish you quickly, let it be said that a woman tried them sorely. Let them spend their strength in furious attacks, whilst you conserve your own. Wait and watch, girl, wait and watch.”

Goodwin, master-at-arms at Evenfall Hall, and baby Brienne of Tarth

Jaime calling Brienne “my lady of Tarth” in front of others gets me every time. Not “the lady of Tarth”, not “Lady Brienne”, but “my lady of Tarth”. Later he doesn’t deny Qyburn’s half joking claim of “your maid of Tarth” either. The possessiveness, hmm. No wonder he’s shocked Brienne hasn’t briefed him on her betrothals when Connington told him about it.

I think I've had something of an epiphany about the gender-weird honor-bound Thing in ASOS (this is not necessarily a new take, but it is new to me.) There are, of course, a lot of daily habits and interactions between Brienne and Jaime we don't see. But what just walloped me is how much of Jaime's inner monologue Brienne isn't getting, and how much this matters. (This does not preserve her from hearing him talk a good deal more than she would wish. This woman is so long-suffering.) He does insult her, yes. But she's heard similar insults all her life. I suspect -- and I might be projecting here -- that to some extent, this rolls off her back. If one's heard the same sneer since one was about seven, by the time one's grown up, I think, one's found some measure of peace with whatever aspect of one's identity is the target.

But more importantly: Brienne doesn't get the resentful inner monologue in which he is trying (badly) to process both his growing attraction to her and the fact that he is neither the leader of this expedition nor the strongest person in it nor even the most flamboyant (she may be dour, but she also dives off a cliff.) What she knows is that he will laugh because the sun is shining, and sing because they are beside a pool. Because GRRM repeats himself, it's more than once that we are told that Jaime suppresses "a dozen cruel japes" before speaking. But Brienne doesn't get the japes. She gets the lone rejoinder. Brienne doesn't get his "what is the stupid woman doing?" thought process. All she knows is that her prisoner has suddenly started taunting their pursuer and challenging him to single combat (!!) to distract from her desperate stratagem, and it's working. She doesn't get the soldier's reflexive "I technically could try to stave her head in"; all she knows is that her prisoner, who is so weakened/malnourished due to prolonged imprisonment that he is still struggling with activities like *checks notes* running and getting his own limbs over the side of a coracle, is bracing an oar against the current so that she can regain safety. What she knows is that even when injured and desperately ill, he will defend her any way he can. And that eventually, he decides that waiting for her father to ransom her from among their enemies is not enough; he will reclaim her himself, if he dies in the attempt. Because -- he says -- he dreamed about her.

Without the Inner Monologue of Plausible Deniability, this is... this is sure something.

( a collection of too close for 'just friends' prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse.

1. They’ve always hugged, but lately those hugs linger just a beat too long.
2. Sharing a bed during a trip—neither of them sleeps much because they’re too aware of the other’s presence.
3. Accidentally slipping into couple habits (buying each other food, remembering their exact coffee order, fixing their collar, etc.).
4. Friends teasing them for acting like a couple… and both of them freezing because it hits a little too close.
5. One notices the other’s dating profile and feels irrationally territorial.
6. The line between “friendly banter” and “flirting” has gotten blurry.
7. A partner/bystander points it out bluntly: “You know they’re in love with you, right?”
8. A fight about boundaries—because one of them wants more, but is terrified of losing the friendship.
9. A drunken kiss that neither of them can stop thinking about.
10. Everyone else assumes they’re together already… and they can’t quite correct them.

• “Do you have any idea what it does to me when you look at me like that?”
• “You’re supposed to be my safe place, not the reason my chest feels like it’s going to explode.”
• “We can’t—God, we can’t cross that line.”
• “Say it. Say you don’t feel it too, and I’ll drop it.”
• “You don’t get to touch me like that and still call it friendship.”
• “Stop smiling at me like I’m yours.”
• “If this is just friendship, then why can’t I breathe when you’re this close?”
• “You’re going to ruin me, and you don’t even know it.”
• “One more second like this, and I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”
• “Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll believe you.”
• “Don’t kiss me like that and pretend it means nothing.”
• “We’re not supposed to do this. We’re not supposed to feel this.”
• “I’d rather lose my mind than lose you, and right now I think I’m losing both.”
• “Do you want me to beg? Is that what this is?”
• “If we cross this line, nothing will ever be the same. And God help me, I still want to.”
• “If you keep touching me like that, I won’t be able to stop.”
• “Friends don’t ache when the other leaves the room. So what does that make us?”
• “Tell me to go, and I will. Please—say something before I do something we can’t take back.”
• “Don’t call me your best friend when you’re looking at me like I’m more.”
• “If this is nothing, then why does it feel like everything?”
• “You don’t get it, do you? Every time you smile at me, it feels like a promise.”
• “You’re in my head all the time, and it’s killing me. Friends aren’t supposed to feel like this.”
• “If we cross this line, you’re not just my friend anymore. You’re my downfall.”
• “You’re standing too close.”
• “Do you even know what you’re doing to me right now?”
• “Stop making me want something I can’t have.”
• “I can’t lose you to this, but God, I can’t stop wanting you either.”
• “You’re looking at me weird.”
• “That wasn’t a… friendly thing to say.”
• “Do you always stand this close?”
• “Why does it feel different when it’s you?”
• “You’re supposed to be my best friend, not the one making my heart race.”
• “That… didn’t sound like a joke.”
• “Stop holding me like that. Friends don’t hold each other like that.”
• “Do you even realize how you’re looking at me right now?”
• “Don’t call me yours. You don’t mean it.”
• “I can’t breathe when you touch me like that.”
• “Say we’re still just friends. Lie to me.”
• “We’re not supposed to want this.”
• “If this is nothing, then why does it feel like everything?”
• “One more second and I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”
• “Every time you laugh, I forget we’re not allowed to be more.”
• “Tell me you don’t feel it. Please. Tell me I’m imagining this.”
• “You can’t just kiss me and act like it means nothing.”
• “I’m trying so hard not to want you, and you’re making it impossible.”
• “If you keep looking at me like that, I swear I’ll ruin everything.”
• “Tell me to go, or I’m not going to.”
• “You’re mine. God help me, I don’t care what we call it—you’re mine.”
• “I’d rather destroy this friendship than pretend I don’t want you anymore.”
• “Do you want me to beg? Because I will.”
• “We’ve already crossed the line. The second I realized I loved you, we did.”
• “Stop staring at me like that. You’re my best friend.”
• “You can’t just… say stuff like that. We’re supposed to be friends.”
• “Friends don’t make my heart do backflips when they smile.”
• “Why does it feel like I’m cheating when you go on dates?”
• “Don’t hold my hand if you don’t mean it.”
• “We’ve been friends for years, so why does it suddenly feel different?”
• “Don’t kiss me like that if you’re going to pretend it didn’t happen.”
• “You’re supposed to be the one I tell about my crush, not be the crush.”
• “That’s not a friendly kind of jealousy.”
• “If we’re just friends, then why do I feel like you’re mine?”

Kind of wild to me that we don’t know what house Brienne’s mom was from nor even her given name, but Beauty and the Beast is an absent mom story after all*

*Well, kind of. In the first published version (Eng translation) it turns out that Beauty was switched at birth and has two living biological parents, one of whom is the Beast’s mother’s brother…GoT Jaime voice Are you sure we’re not related?

^Probably just an Easter egg for those in the know lmaoo

brienne does not change jaime. she does not try to fix him. brienne does not do anything but exist, which is meaningful enough obviously because of what she embodies. and then jaime decides to change himself separated from her. jaime is not even romantically pursuing her as he changes himself

Anyways girls don't want boys, girls want an ending for Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister in the "A Song of Ice and Fire" saga that does not signal that redemption is unachievable, abuse victims can never escape their abusers and you are unworthy of love if you dare to differ from society's beauty standards :).

It's me, I am girls and fucking scared of the next books.