Get all 96 Retrac Recordings releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Hospital of angels, made me think of you, Satan's Tango, 7 Mile Lake, the playboy interview with j*hn m*y*r (baile scramz edit for dillon friend), it's nothing new, Delete Yourself, respectral aid, and 88 more.
Excludes supporter-only releases.
1. |
my name is paige
13:28
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I bought new body wash
I wore my socks today
I put my clothes away
I want to try again
I want to try again
I want another chance
I want to shut down the pain
I want to know what power I'm trying to gain
I want to live again
I want to live in my skin
It doesn’t seem to fit
But the tailors a sin
I’ll let him fall apart in me
I don’t feel safe in me
I want to claw out of me
Out of his body
My name is Paige
My name is Paige
He can’t keep his hands away from a blade
He can’t pick up his room
He doesn’t eat a thing
She takes the pain off my body
He can’t do shit
She makes me feel happier than I’ve ever been
So what the fuck is your issue
She's all I need
I know I can’t fix you
I know I can't bleed
My name is Paige
My name is Paige
I draw on my face
Just to feel like myself
Answer my question
Am I going to hell
Bought my first dress last week
That was 12 months ago
And it’s too big for me now
And I’m running out of soap
I draw on my face
Just to feel like myself
Answer the question
Am I going to hell
Bought my first dress last week
That was 12 months ago
And it’s too big for me now
And I’m running out of hope
If I run away and your son's not here
If I kill myself and only Paige remains
Would you disown me or would you feel ashamed
If you're not happy with who I am
Why don’t you say it
Be a man
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2. |
golf course
05:17
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I still smell cigar smoke
Spilt beer all over my clothes
Fear that he’ll follow me home
Where did my time go
I still smell cigar smoke
Spilt beer all over my clothes
Fear that he’ll follow me home
Where did my time go
When the sun comes up (12345)
And another day passes (12345)
When you’ve had enough
Time flows like molasses
When the sun comes up
And another day passes
When you're all pent-up
Love gets fucked by your absence
When the sun comes up
And another day passes
When you’ve had enough
I see the bench that says “hit ‘em straight”
Holding back tears as I drive away
Summer's ending, and I’m still waiting
I see the bench that says “hit ‘em straight”
Holding back tears as I drive away
For something dreamy, something that's sunny
I see the bench that says “hit ‘em straight”
Holding back tears as I drive away
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3. |
destroy
15:50
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I couldn't help but walk away in tears
Felt like everything had come to an end
All you said was ok
And it made my mind shut down
Cold as death I walked away and felt my state descend
I slammed my head into my wall until I felt dumb
I never knew you drowned in tears until our words spilt out
I've never felt so torn apart over something we talked about
Dug myself a bigger hole and fell to my death
And I can't fuck and I can't sleep without the lightning overhead
We talked again and I felt sick of hearing myself
I don't- don't
I don't know why this even matters she can hold her breath all by herself
Do I seem like the kind of freak who wants to take control
I don't want to abandon reason and fall back into this hole
If I did what is the point of trying to crawl out
Every time this fucking happens I write another album
And I end them with the lightest note to remind myself why I should be happy
But I'm still rotting I'm still rotting but for what for what reason after all
(Destroy destroy destroy destroy destroy destroy destroy destroy)
A mason jar of ashes
A call from the landline
Matte gunmetal alloy
In my hands, I remember how it felt
Raindrops dropping on my head
Rosemary grows in my prison cell
What's the ultimate endpoint
If I only destroy myself
Sirens weeping your name
Paint your sorrows with flames
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
Destroy your shame
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4. |
uninhabitable body
25:39
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out with the rain again
and in with the wind
under the sky again
in love for the first time
oh but the wispy rain might wash us away
but i don't mind now
i'm here with you
oh but my heart
changed forever that day
oh and the windy rain couldn't wash my heart away
out in the rain again
out in the rain again
and in with the wind
you'll never know how much i love you (and in with the wind)
BLOOD! DRIPS!
SWEAT! BEADS! FALLING!
BLOOD! DRIPS!
TEAR! DEEP! LONG! SLEEVES!
HONEY! SWEET!
UNINHABITABLE BODY ROUGH SKIN,
THE HAIR FEELING LIKE SPIDERS,
CUTS SWELL LIKE BUG BITES
RIBCAGE TO WIDE FOR THE SKIN
GOD FORGIVE, GOD FORGIVE,
FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR CREATION, THE CREATION IS WORSE THAN HELL
BLADE CUTS LIKE BUG BITES
CUTS HAIR LIKE HEAVEN
CUTS SKIN LIKE ITS MEANT TO
BUT GOOSEBUMPS DONT FORGIVE
EXFOLIATING STOPS WORKING
AND MAKES SKIN RED
SO KEEP SCRAPING!
SKIN ROUGH LIKE SANDPAPER
HAIR STABS THROUGH LIKE NEEDLES
(FUCK! FUCK!)
|..|….|…|..|…
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
PLEASE OH PLEASE SA VIOR
HOLD ME TIGHT (OUT OF)
I AM CRAW LING FOR
PIECE OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
PLEASE OH PLEASE SA VIOR
HOLD ME TIGHT (OUT OF)
I AM CRAW LING FOR
PIECE OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
PLEASE OH PLEASE SA VIOR
HOLD ME TIGHT (OUT OF)
I AM CRAW LING FOR
PIECE OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
OUT OF BO DY (OUT)
OUT OF MIND (OUT OF)
PLEASE OH PLEASE SA VIOR
HOLD ME TIGHT (OUT OF)
I AM CRAW LING FOR
PIECE OF MIND!
the starving never stopped
the lightning blocked by clouds
the starving never stopped
the lightning blocked by clouds
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOUDS
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOUDS
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA!
(tch ch th cha)
blood of a dead man dries like thin film on your hands and the texture makes your eyes whell up,
and the feeling of it slowly pulling hair out of your pores feels like a needle:
resonating at pitches higher and louder than hells organ,
cutting into the back of your eyelids, you can feel it in your skull again.
it takes so much time and so so much effort to kill a man
but we are still so so fragile
funny you can see inside me
but blood doesn’t seem to leak
for killing a man is hard to hide see
you seem to think i'm hiding
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOUDS
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOUDSSSS!!!
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
(the starving never stopped)
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOUDS
(the lightning blocked by clouds)
THE STARVING NEVER STOPPED
THE LIGHTNING BLOCKED BY CLOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUDS!!
(OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!)
OUUUUUUUUUT!
(HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! FUCK! FUCK! HA! HA!)
BLOOD OF A DEAD MAN DRYS LIKE THIN FILM ON YOUR HANDS AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS HATE. BLOOD OF A DEAD MAN DRYS LIKE THIN FILM ON YOUR HANDS AND YOUR CORPSE BLOATS IN THAT GOD DAMNED LAKE.
THAT GOD DAMNED LAKE.
THANK GOD
EVERY TIME YOU CLIMB OUT THE PIT, THE PIT THAT TAKES YOU, AND HITS YOU AGAINST HARD STEEL RAILINGS, YOU ALWAYS LOOK BACK DOWN AND SMILE THAT YOU GOT OUT, BUT ONCE YOUVE SEEN IT FROM THE TOP YOU LOOK BACK UP AND THERES THE STAIRCASE AGAIN
THERES THAT FUCKING STAIRCASE
WHENEVER YOU CLIMB BACK UP YOU FALL BACK DOWN BECAUSE YOU CANT HANDLE IT
YOUR TOO FUCKING FAT TO PULL YOURSELF ONTO THE STEPS
AND WHEN YOU GET ON THE STEPS YOUR FEET GET TOO HEAVY AND YOU END UP DROWNING
I WAS NEVER CALLING FOR HER SHE FOUND ME
I WAS IN THE WORST STATE IVE EVER BEEN IN
CAN YOU HELP BUT USE SHOCK VALUE TO MAKE YOUR WORDS LESS VALUABLE
YOU DISAPPOINT ME
YOU SHOULD BE AT THE GOLF COURSE
YOU SHOULD BE FINISHING SCHOOL
BUT YOU CANT HELP BUT ACT LIKE YOUR ALL SET FOR LIFE
WEAAAAAAAKLING
DUMB FUCK WEAKLING
WEAAAAAAAKLING
DUMB FUCK WEAKLING
WEAAAAAAAKLING!
WEAAAAAAAKLING!
WEAAAAAAAKLING!
oh but the wispy rain might wash us away
but I don't mind now
I'm here with you
out in the rain again
and in with the wind
you'll never know dear how much I loved you
out in the rain
fall asleep don't wake me
don't wake me up
out in the rain again come in or you might get wet.
out in the rain with you wash me away we'll be two, two
in your dark room again ill find the warm door of love,
and even if the storm sweeps me away i know ill have you, ill have you.
come in you might get wet.
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5. |
slut
06:36
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(fall further down)
I LOOK BETTER WITH RIBS AND SCARS
I GET LOOKS FROM EVERYONE
SHES TOO FAR TO SAVE ME NOW
THEYVE ALL SEEN MY BODY AND IM FALLING APART
VIGOROUS SHAVING AND A XULANE PATCH
I SWORE I SAW MY BODY ON THE ASPHALT
I GOTTA STAY FERTIE CUS I WANNA HAVE KIDS
IM LOSING MYSELF TO A CYCLE OF PURE HATRED
THERES LEFTOVER MAKEUP ON MY EYES
I HAVENT SLEPT OR ATE IN DAYS
IVE TASTED HONEY AND IT WAS SWEET
IM A FUCKING ADDICT AND I DONT WANT YOU TO HELP ME
THERES LEFTOVER MAKEUP ON MY EYES
I HAVENT SLEPT OR ATE IN DAYS
IVE TASTED HONEY AND IT WAS SWEET
IM A FUCKING ADDICT
I DONT WANT YOU TO HELP ME
MY FACE IS DEFORMED AND MY BODYS CRAVING ESTROGEN
SPIT ON MY CARCASS BECAUSE YOU KNOW IM FEELING VIOLENT
BLOOD ON MY SHEETS BECAUSE THE MESSAGE COULDNT GET TO HIM
SHE CANT GET OUT BECAUSE SHE SEES THE TRUTH OF WHO I AM
ILL BE DESTROYED BEFORE YOU GET TO ME
ILL DRINK SOME MORE JUST TO KILL MY TESTOSTERONE
ILL MAKE HER REAL JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
HOW MANY HOURS DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO SHOWER
I CANT REMEMBER MY MIDDLE SCHOOL COUNSELOR
HOW MANY MEMORIES ARE FORVER BLOCKED OUT ITS
KILLING ME SLOWLY BUT ITS THE FOOD THATS ALLOWED
SLUT
SLUT
THERES LEFTOVER MAKEUP ON MY EYES
I HAVENT SLEPT OR ATE IN DAYS
IVE TASTED HONEY AND IT WAS SWEET
IM A FUCKING ADDICT AND I DONT WANT YOU TO HELP ME
THERES LEFTOVER MAKEUP ON MY EYES
I HAVENT SLEPT OR ATE IN DAYS
IVE TASTED HONEY AND IT WAS SWEET
IM A FUCKING ADDICT
I DONT WANT YOU TO HELP ME
DONT YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH ME
I ALREADY FEEL FUCKING FILTHY
I DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS YET
I ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE AT LIVING
ITS JUST MY LUCK
I TRY SO HARD TO NOT GIVE A FUCK
I WAS ONLY 12 AND CRONICALY STUCK
YET AFTER ALL THIS TIME I STILL FEEL LIKE A FUCKING
SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUUUT SLUUUUT SLUUUUUT
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6. |
the hermit
07:47
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there’s leftover makeup underneath my eyes
from trying on the dress that i bought from new hope
i saw her face smiling in my mirror
i felt her crying tears of joy but she doesn’t want to ruin her eyeshadow
he couldn’t believe what he saw
but all things must come to an end
she wiped herself away with a cloth
she wiped herself away with a cloth
it didn’t feel like pretend
he won’t forget what he saw
he won’t forget what he saw
when the sun comes up
and another day passes
kiss the savior from above
time flows the fastest
when the sun comes up
and another day passes
when you’re all full of love
you hope time becomes static
there’s leftover makeup underneath my eyes
she leaves a mark on my face
i tried to hide it from you
because you don’t want to see paige
days have past since i last saw her
despite my effort you still saw her
please spare me my dear father
I’M NOT ONE OF THEM I’M NOT A MONSTER
“did you have eyeshadow on at some point”
yeah?
“your eyes look very pretty”
thanks
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
(you never apologize
im trying to get through to you
but you wont look into my eyes
all because-)
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
“the purse on the couch”
PLEASE SPARE ME MY DEAR FATHER
I’M NOT ONE OF THEM I’M NOT A MONSTER
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
MY NAME IS PAIGE
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7. |
a confession
14:59
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8. |
predators
28:28
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memory gaps
hell relapse
fall asleep
wake up in a bathtub
the walls are blue
the showers dirty
i fall back asleep
i die in a car crash
i wake up in the water
the waters purple
the curtains moldy
the walls falling apart
i know where i am
look in the mirror
look in the mirror
you left him behind
he’s screaming
he’s lost all life
he’s lost all emotions
he’s given up
do you see him
look what you did
take it all in
do you see him
FUCKING LOOK AT HIM
HE’S STARVING TO DEATH
YOU TOOK THAT AWAY
HE WANTS YOU TO STAY
HE BEGGED FOR YOUR PRESENCE
AND YOU TOOK HIS LIFE
RUINED BY INNOCENCE
RUINED BY ADULTHOOD
HE’S STUCK BACK THERE
IN THIS ROOM
WHERE HE SUCKED THE COCK
OF SELF-BETRAYAL
NO SELF RESPECT OR CARE FOR IT
IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT AND YOU CAN’T FIX IT
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR AGE
YOU BECAME ADDICTED AND PREYED TO BE 21
YOU WERE SO IGNORANT, SO IMMATURE
SO SO STUPID, SO FUCKING YOUNG
YOU DESIRED THE FUTURE
BUT YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
YOU HAVE WHAT I WANT
LOOK AT YOUR SCREAMING FACE
LOOK AT YOURSELF
YOUR NAKED STARVING BODY
TEARS OF BLOOD, HAIR SHORT AND PURPLE
CAN’T HELP BUT BLAME HIM.
BLAME IT ON THE INNOCENT ONE
THE STUPID ONE
THE ROTTING ONE
THE ONE WHO BETRAYED HIMSELF
THE ONE WHO PREYED TO BE RAPED.
WHEN HE GOT WHAT HE THOUGHT HE WANTED HE COULDN’T HELP BUT BLAME HIMSELF
WHEN HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING
HE WAS STUPID BUT HE COULDN’T CONTROL THAT
HE DIDN’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT HE WAS THINKING
HE DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE TO
HE COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN BETTER
HE SEES YOU AND HE SCREAMS
YOU SEE HIM AND YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF
YOU CAN MAKE HIM OUT THROUGH THE LAYER OF CONDENSATION
I SEE HIM
HE CAN’T SEE HER
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
(and you can’t help but scream your self awake
it’s been 30 minutes
and you know what you saw)
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
i’m back where i started
in these busted blue walls
in soapless water
in masculine clothes
(and you can’t help but scream your self awake
it’s been 30 minutes
and you know what you saw)
MY NAME IS PAIGE
I SEE THE BENCH THAT SAYS “HIT ‘‘EM STRAIGHT”
HOLDING BACK TEARS AS I DRIVE AWAY
SUMMERS ENDING, AND I’M STILL WAITING
I SEE THE BENCH THAT SAYS “HIT ‘‘EM STRAIGHT”
HOLDING BACK TEARS AS I DRIVE AWAY
FOR SOMETHING DREAMY, AND SOMETHING THATS SUNNY
I SEE THE BENCH THAT SAYS “HIT ‘‘EM STRAIGHT”
HOLDING BACK TEARS AS I DRIVE AWAY
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Retrac Recordings Nashville, Tennessee
From analog bliss to digital psychedelia. Computer music in the real world.
2019-2025
Art design by Caybee Calabash
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