great news

I had to share some happy news for our family! We are currently living in the biggest "real" city outside the small town of Parma where the "home place" (aka cows) are. We really needed to be closer to Trevor's work, especially as the busy season is just around the corner (Yes, he gets even busier) and many late nights/early mornings/allnighters are soon in Trevor's future.

We had found a place to rent in Parma and expected to move in a week, but I just felt uncomfortable with the situation. I didn't like the house. It was clean, but it was so small. It would suffice, but it wasn't making me excited. Being in the country is going to be hard enough for this city girl; I wanted to at least feel comfortable in our home where I knew I'd be spending a LOT more time. (Target is 25 minutes away....no "hour" trips for $1.50 popcorn and DC...)

Tonight, something came up out of the blue. For just a little bit more money, we just went from 1100 sq ft. to 2800 sq ft. (I have enough furniture to fill up about TWO rooms haha). I went from simple, tacky thin wood doors to BEADBOARD. BEADBOARD PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! I went from a dusty, yard to gorgeous green grass, a wood deck, a fireplace walk out basement, and a playground the size of my old elementary school's. And the view, oh the view.

I will post pictures soon. And, of course, we're just renting for now, but anyone that has searched for rentals in a town of 1500 knows how difficult it can be. Anyone that knows how hard it has been for me to transition to the country and how important a home is to me GETS IT!!!!

SO excited. My heart is so happy.
blessings rock.
okay. over and out.
trey is still awake. little night owl.
pictures soon. I want to convince people to visit me.

Seven Months

Treyson John.

I know every mom thinks her baby is the best. as they should. But truly, I am amazed by the individuality of your little spirit. Your dad and I look at you often and wonder how we were so blessed by such a happy, joyful, delightful spirit in our home. Heavenly Father is way too good to us.

The other day, mom and dad got in an argument. I raised her voice and yelled some not nice things. You began to cry. I began to cry, realizing even though you did not understand the words, you sensed the contention. You are that pure. You are way too good for her.

I am stopped everywhere I go by strangers telling me how good looking you are. how you are the most cheerful baby they have ever seen. how blue your eyes are. etc etc. i know everyone loves babies, but I know they sense what we sense - you are special.

You are so observant. So wise. I didnt expect that and it surprises us daily. Today, during church you learned your toys are all in mom's diaper bag. You now go diving into it every chance you get! You are nursing again (hallelujah) while still eating solids like a champ. Except for green beans. You hate them. You will forever be tall and thin. You are the most restless sleeper in the world. Tossing and turning. You love to eat faces, and grab/rub our faces. You turn almost purple when you poop and mom worries you have forgotten to breathe. You love watching children play, cars zoom by and dogs. You won't nurse when dad is in the room. You strain your neck to find him. Whack the mole is your favorite game. You already have four teeth. You still, rarely cry. You refuse to crawl and prefer to roll everywhere. You sound like a raptor at times.

Having children is a funny process. There are times I still can't believe you are MINE. I don't think I'll ever get used to being called a "mom". I still feel so unexperienced. unworthy. and 17.

I do know this. It is right. It is true. It is the way things are "supposed" to be.

You are perfect.

Utah Evokes Memories

I think it's funny how there are so many jokes about Utah, and so many people sort of "despise" the state. Okay, I get it. I get the mormon bubble jokes.

BUT, I don't agree. I LOVE UTAH! I have met some of the most interesting people in my life there! I didn't feel like it was a bubble at all. Maybe I just have cool friends.....
anyway.

We're headed to Utah. I love Utah. I love Zupas. I love Down East home section. I love Costa Vida. I love Gateway. I love the Rack. I love the mountains and the hiking and the waterfalls. I love the houses on the hills. I love BYU. provo. everything having to do with my years there.

I can still remember meeting Trevor my freshman year. Heleman Halls. Stover Hall basketball court. (and in case you care, he doesn't even remember meeting ME! go figure.) I had a boyfriend. He had a girlfriend. But, don't you worry, I remember how hot he was. too hot for me.
I still walk in front of King Henry and remember the confusing sophomore year of #64, as I pined away for "my" missionary while conveniently dating certain Rugby players. (Hey, a marriage came out of my drama. Right Jules?)

I can smile looking at Santa B. The best place to live. ever. the place where my best friend left me for eighteen months. Freaking Poland. the place where i had the best roomies in the world (love u lish). the place where I grew the most.

I drive down University Condos and remember "re" meeting Trevor. Stupid facebook flirty messages (yes, we were lame...and yes, I have those convos saved STILL) leading to lavish dates (Those Roche boys could DATE) leading to talk of marriage after a month (okay. stereotype me. do it) leading to a wedding 11 months later. Oh how I love him

how I love Utah.
What is YOUR favorite Provo memory?
(And for those who never lived in Provo. You missed out. ;)

andrea and octomom

So I sort of have been having this wierd urge to reproduce. (Isn't that a strange way to put it?) But seriously, all I can do lately is think about having more babies. Even today, when Treyson pooped on me. (Yes, literally, crap smeared on my thigh.)

Maybe it's because Treyson has already grown out of his infant carrier. Maybe it's because I've come to terms with the fact my stomach will NEVER look the same. Maybe it's because I've gotten used to sleep deprivation. Maybe I'm crazy or maybe it's because

I realize how much I love being a mom.


I'm sure my mind will change once Treyson starts toddling around and reaking havok on my (somewhat) clean home. And no, no plans to quicken the process.

But,I guess I sort of understand crazy octomom today.
Should I be embarassed to admit that?

ohwell.

Baby Advice

This week, and the next two are INSANE. finding a house. moving. logan here. starting high school. county fair. em and ry in town. trip to utah. state fair. mom and sis in town. trip to kansas. we hardly have room to breathe and I LOVE IT!!!!!!

That being said, no time to blog.
Except about this:

Treyson will not nurse or even drink from a bottle. The child is apparently on hunger strike. I try to nurse him as often as possible. I've tried to take him off solids and get him to nurse more. I've tried a bottle. I've tried a tippie cup. I've seriously tried everything - or so it feels. He's only drinking about 16 oz. a DAY. His poop is hard as rocks. It's almost as though he hates milk. (and no, I'm not eating/drinking anything wierd)

BUT he is NOT fussy. He is totally smiley and happy and content and sleeping all night still.

I. don't. get. it.
and, now it's a battle to keep my supply up.

ANY ADVICE FROM ANY MOMS?
I'm so frustrated and can't find any info anywhere.

Caldwell Night Rodeo

Another Rodeo....Another round of funny moments with Treyson.
He loves the barrel racers and watches them intently.

It's so much excitement, he konks out.

Despite the whooping hollering drunks and extremely LOUD music.

happy.

this song makes me so happy and energized.
Trey likes it too. BEFORE:
AFTER:

homes.

I know a house is really truly a box which houses the home.

Nevertheless, I am beginning to see how important a nice, clean home with character, is to me as we continue to look at home after home. Denying its importance to my soul is like denying my true hair color (why do i always talk about hair...ugh. I think it's a complex from having a fro all those years).

“Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes” And many of the homes we have looked out, will not suffice for shoelessness. Nor wee ones crawling around.

The homes in this area can be summed up in one layout:
http://boise.craigslist.org/apa/1323987310.html
OR if you want to get REAL fancy http://boise.craigslist.org/apa/1323873816.html



These homes are everything I am not.
(Apparently they only had two builders in this city.)


I come from a place where you can find rentals and for sales more like this. Please, take a gander:
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/reb/1325945526.html
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/apa/1323373207.html
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/reb/1321644522.html
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/reo/1317128430.html

I know it really shouldn't matter to me, but it does.


Oh, how it does.

That being said, please drool over this kitchen. Looking at it gives me butterflies in my stomach and puts a smile on my face. I love beautiful.

missin kc

my whole family is together. with my new neice.

i feel sad.

so sweet Trevor got my chicken artichoke bacon pizza from Papa Murphys (Amazing.) and

17 Again. (i think that kid is so hot. pediphile Andrea)

oh...and.isn't logan dreamy?

Shot Down

Today I asked Trevor to get in the car and drive to Seattle for the weekend.
I need more adventure in my life.
He said no.
He has to work.
BOO FOR WORK.

I have concluded the following:

I have issues with "real" life.
I find no satisfaction in doing the same routine. day. by. day.
I think Trey is more like his mom in this regard.

Here are some more play by plays:

Trey came into bed with me at 6am. When I woke up at 830am. He was still asleep and covered in my drool. Apparently, I'm a drooler. Poor child.

My brother is coming to live with us in Tminus 3 days. Maybe a teenager around will liven things up!? Either that, or cause me to tie my tubes.

I want to buy a chicken and see if it really runs around once you cut its head off. PETA hates me right now.

I am getting my hair done tomorrow. Finally. My roots are like a dark abyss. I stare at them and feel like a frumpy mom. I can't handle it. If anyone has any hair ideas (color/cuts) for those of us with poop blonde hair and a fro, please HELP. (I know this is a really dumb thing to blog about, but those of us who worship new highlights GET it).

I really REALLY want to see Time Travelers Wife. I honestly HATE chick flicks. LOVE Rachel McAdams.

We still have no future home. At least, if we live in a cardboard box, I won't have to clean.

Speaking of boxes, Yesterday, Trevor picked up a crazy homeless dude. He was leaving his parents ranch and found the guy lying at the end of their gravel road next to the railroad tracks. Mind you, they live off a two lane highway in ten buck two. So naturally, he picks him up the toothless man. I was terrified he was going to get his throat slit.

Last night, Trey woke up at 1am, 2 am and 4 am. Why you ask? Because of the 3 cop cars outside our white trash neighbors due to a "domestic" disturbance. Third night in a row.
That cardboard box is looking better every night.

Utah moms give me a complex. HOW can you have that many children and still be so skinny, so well dressed, so perfectly decorated etc etc. When I sometimes forget to put deoderant on with just ONE child?

I am crazy excited to meet my nieces.

MIA

To those loyal readers of this blog:

My apologies for the lack of pointless posts as of late. The Roche family has been a little stressed. You can find Andrea crying, Treyson splattering his food against the wall, and Trevor on the porch at 10pm, for 45 minutes, arguing in a very heated (embarassing) manner with a beef salesman regarding the difference between choice and prime beef. poor dude.

I guess we're all dealing with the stress in different ways.

But we're healthy and thriving, and though we might be homeless in 30 days, we are counting our blessings.

PICTURE OVERLOAD

A New Addition to our Family

Nervous yet?

No.

Not pregs.

H no.

BUT, my little brother Logan is coming to live with us his senior year.
We're so excited! Hope he likes ranch work.

Lesson Learned.

Do not try to take your child's picture on the day of his 6 month shots.
he will not smile.

he will not laugh.

he will not sit still.

and he will probably want to punch your lights out.

he will scream.
he will whine.

he will bridge.

then he will get really quiet as he poops on his clean outfit.

and you.

One of the young men in my Sunday School class took the time to come over tonight to teach me how to use my camera. He is an AMAZING photographer and I learned a lot from him. I still stink, but it's fun to learn something new!

grateful

Today.

i am grateful for a healthy baby.

i am grateful it has been SO easy.

to get pregnant. to stay pregnant. to give birth. to sustain life.

sometimes, the gratitude for those things is overwhelming.

i try to never take it for granted.

Oh, and random other thought

I am grateful the people who read this blog. I feel this kinship with some strangers who, for some crazy reason, feel like my life is interesting enough to continue reading. I have gotten some of the greatest advice and encouragement from "friends of friends" etc. amazing. Like this quote (courtesy via Heidi Rose):

"You have walked the sometimes painful, sometimes joyous path of parenthood. You have walked hand in hand with God in the great process of bringing children into the world that they might experience this estate along the road of immortality and eternal life. It has not been easy rearing a family. Most of you have had to sacrifice and skimp and labor night and day. As I think of you and your circumstances, I think of the words of Anne Campbell, who wrote as she looked upon her children:
You are the trip I did not take;
You are the pearls I cannot buy;
You are my blue Italian lake;
You are my piece of foreign sky.
(“To My Child,” quoted in Charles L. Wallis, ed., The Treasure Chest [1965], 54)
You [mothers] are the real builders of the nation wherever you live,for you have created homes of strength and peace and security. These become the very sinew of any nation.”
Gordon B. Hinckley, “Women of the Church,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 67"

i appreciate your raw, candid, honesty. i hope i can offer the same. i personally find so much strength and enlightenment through others' experiences. maybe you disagree or find blogs too "public", I for one, am gateful.

xoxo

back.

Here are some updates from our life the past 2 weeks. random. u love it.

1. Spent several long days at the fair. At which we (we meaning Trevor/hisdad/his sister...I had nothing to do with it. obviously) won first. and second. This appeased my ridiculously competitive husband. EAT BEEF.

2. still haven't found a new place to live. We're looking at buying or renting at this point. Trevor wants a " really good deal" near the ranch. I just want a place where I feel comfortable letting Trey crawl on the carpet...or eat the carpet, as he does lately. Our town is an interesting mix of white trash and those from south of the border. Nothing against EITHER groups, just makes finding a home up to my standards (aka HIGH) difficult. For those who have asked. We were renting. LOVE the house. The landlord can't meet the mortgage so is upping the rent to $1200 a month....ridic for this barrio.

3. yesterday, I got a package. from my best friend morgan. She is one of the only ones who really appreciates my lack of fashion sense. (Target clearance aisles and yard sales aren't the best place for fashion.) She, on the other hand, is a walking Vogue magazine. How we came together? who knows. anyway. She felt sorry for me and sent me a ton of her "old" (aka last season) clothes. I love being her DI. I love her. I love my new clothes which will stay nice for a week before Trey spits up/pukes up/poops up on them.

4. Speaking of yard sales. I bought a nice. working. treadmill for $20 today. I know. you're impressed.

5. Trevor is still a rancher. Trevor is still young mens president. Trevor is still taking over the world. Trevor is still hot. Trevor still works 7 days a week. Andrea is still complaining. BUT I'm working on it. I promise. I hate being a complainer. And since we're on the topic of weaknesses, I'm also trying to not care what people think. Even about this blog.

6. morgan sent me a pair of skinny jeans. two miracles: 1. I fit in them. 2. Trevor likes them. I never thought that day would come. Trevor wants everyone to know, however, he will NEVER EVER EVER wear skinny jeans. He'd rather die. I will vouch. He is serious.

7. Treyson is still cute. But, now Treyson has decided he is so done with nursing. HE WONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I, DO NOT know what to do. My milk is drying up (TMI?) and I cried today about it. Everytime I try, he bites me and refuses. Am I going to have to start stinky formula? Worse yet, are my nursing boobs going to be gone? I won't be able to fill out my bathing suit AGAIN.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........HELP!

8. I'm still bitter about no vacations. I want to know how everyone affords them. I mean this in the nosiest, yet sweetest, non sarcastic way. THEY ARE SO EXPENSIVE. If anyone wants to let me in on your traveling fund secrets, please do so. I'm trying to make something work for us. In the meantime, I'm going to stop reading blogs because everyone seems to be going on thousands of trips and it causes me to covet. badly. horribly.

9. I am growing out my natural color. (I know what you're going to say Mrs. Parr) But I'm addicted to bleach. I want to be slightly un addicted. Bets on how long I'll last? Thus, if in the near future you see pictures of me and think "She's going to hell in a handbasket FAST", just know I'm doing it on purpose. (But don't ask me to give up my JODY dresses Moe....)

10. I'll probably reread this post and find it horribly lame and annoying. Then, I will proceed to delete it. So read fast.

The end.
for now.
and no pictures.
till tomorrow.
at which, you will see treyson. hot husband. roots.
and maybe a cow or two. because they follow me. haunt me.