Spotlight: Coping with Bullying by Bryony Allen

It is my great pleasure to welcome Bryony Allen to Book Angel Booktopia today, her book OTOLI (review here) deals with the subject of bullying. Bryony has written an amazing guest post to coincide with Anti-Bullying Week. Huge, huge thanks to Bryony for doing this:

Coping with Bullying

If you are a victim of bullying, the most important thing to accept is that you are not alone. Easier said than done, I know! But it’s true.

When you are being bullied, no matter what form it takes, you often feel alone and isolated. That feeling of being ‘On The Outside Looking In’, was the inspiration for my young adult novel, OTOLI.

It’s the feeling that you are watching society pass you by, that you want to be a part of it but your experiences have made you too scared to try and join in.

But you are not alone – honestly. There are countless organisations who are there to help you, who will not judge you and will suggest ways of coping. ‘Bullying UK’ is one of those and is tremendously supportive, as is ‘Childline’.

Then there’s school. As a teacher, I know that we are always stressed, rushing around and seeming to have no time for you. We do have time, though. Talk to your form tutor, class-teacher: whether you hang back after a lesson, slip a note on the desk or give a ‘look’. We will make the time for you and we will take your problems seriously. Many schools have a superb team of caring LSA's (Learning Support Assistants) or TA's (Teaching Assistants), who will talk to you. The support staff where I actually work are amazing at providing a safe haven for children who are in need.

With regard to coping with bullying the best advice I’ve ever heard is to write down it down. If it doesn’t stop, then you have a record of evidence to present against the person ‘who couldn’t possibly do anything like that’. Writing is also wonderfully cathartic. You can write down everything you feel, using whatever weird and wonderful spellings you like, and no-one can judge you or tell you it is spelt wrong.

OTOLI was written partly as a cathartic exercise. I’ve personally seen so much bullying as a Mum, teacher and a person, and I still hate it. I want the bullies to see what long-term effect bullying has on its victims. As well as preaching, I wanted OTOLI to entertain its readers. I hear a lot of moans of ‘reading is boring’ in my job and I want that to stop too!

If you haven’t read OTOLI please do get a copy. It’s available in Kindle eBook and paperback formats and the publisher is also making the book available in further eBook formats very soon so that it can be even more accessible to readers. Regardless of what format you get, 5% of all sales proceeds are being donated by my publisher on a permanent basis to the charity ‘Bullying UK’ to help combat the effects of bullying and provide support and help to those suffering.

Title: OTOLI

Author: Bryony Allen

Publisher: Pneuma Springs Publishing

Publication Date: 28 April 2011

Synopsis from Amazon

OTOLI - Have you been there? Social outcast ALICE TURNER went there to escape the constant bullying from the Populars. She is befriended by Jenny; an enigmatic waitress who seems to be stuck in the past. As the Populars begin to reap the wrath of a faithful friend, suspicions build in Alice's mind. Why does Jenny keep mementoes that are four years old? And why does Alice feel that she is to blame for the downfall of her enemies? But friendship is a two-way deal as Alice soon discovers. After breaking her promise to Jenny, she faces a far worse foe than before. Alice is forced to make choices on which her future and that of others will depend; whether or not she knows it. Moreover, she will have to find courage to escape the ultimate bully - her best friend.

Review: Fade to Black by Alex Flinn

Title: Fade to Black
Author: Alex Flinn
Publisher: Harper Collins
Publication Date: 23 Jun 2006

Source: Own/Bought





Synopsis: From GoodReads
Three perspectives -- one truth
The victim: After his windshield was shattered with a baseball bat, HIV-positive Alex Crusan ducked under the steering wheel. But he knows what he saw. Now he must decide what he wants to tell.
The witness: Daria Bickell never lies. So if she told the police she saw Clinton Cole do it, she must have. But did she really?
The suspect: Clinton was seen in the vicinity of the crime that morning. And sure, he has problems with Alex. But he'd never do something like this. Would he?

Review:
The book starts with a police report giving an instant and visually dramatic summary of events surrounding the main thread of the plot.

Written in first person narrative from alternating perspectives of the 3 central characters; Alex, the victim - Daria, the witness and Clinton, the accused. Daria's perspective is written in verse, distinctively separating her narrative voice from those of the male protagonists. Although at first sight they appear to be completely different it soon becomes apparent that they are all outsiders in one way or another.

The whole question of nature versus nurture is woven throughout the plot, taking into consideration economic and social backgrounds, parents attitudes reflected in those of their children. Racism/bullying/intolerance are shown as learned behaviour and I do agree with this to a certain extent; hopefully there are also outside positive influences to be able to balance the negativity. Showing how easily ignorance leads to intolerance in turn leading to violence, etc.

Loads of information about HIV/AIDS is woven into the story adding realism and great insight. I did find that the emotion was sometimes a little over dramatic, exaggerating the negative aspects of HIV developing into AIDS. Great medical advances have enabled those with HIV to lead relatively 'normal' lives. The way in which the disease is contracted and how it affects people's judgement of that person was brilliantly woven into the plot, reinforced by the way in which Alex was pitied but not befriended.

Both the male protagonists experience a tough journey of self-discovery via the plot, enabling them to understand themselves and each other better. I did find Alex slightly confrontational expressed by him deliberately wearing an AIDS charity t-shirt for his 'chat' with Clinton. The way in which they clashed reinforced this journey of self-discovery. Making both of them imagine what it would be like to be the other person. Alex is able to see that Clinton although ignorant to the real facts of the disease, cares for his family and in his own way is just trying to protect them. The effect it has on the whole family, both Alex's and Clinton's is thoroughly expressed within the narrative. While Clinton actually tries to imagine being in Alex's place, in essence being a biological time-bomb, a constant death sentence hanging over you. Adding impact to Alex's wish to be seen as a person and not just a disease. I could completely relate to that; don't we all want to be seen as the person we are not just someones wife/mother/daughter/sister; every person has their own merits yet are tied to the view people have of the people we are related to.

The way in which 'gay/fag' is used in teenage terminology for anything different/disgusting shows how inane the expression has become. Sometimes with its double meaning it can be taken as more negative than actually intended, although I will say that I still do not like it used for just that reason.

The most forceful point for me about this book is just how easy it is to think that it cant happen to you. Surely if it can happen then it could just as likely happen to you as the next person even if you are not in one of the 'high risk' categories. To think differently is just naive and stupid. The saying 'there but for the grace of God go I' kept popping into my head especially as I had a full blood transfusion when I had my youngest.

A compassionate and relatable account of how HIV/AIDS affects society as a whole, not something to be hidden under the carpet or ignored.  Alex Flinn's writing style helps make tough subject matter accessible to young adults and she should be commended for it.

Saturday Spotlight: Anti-Bullying Week Round-Up and THANKS

A huge thanks to everyone that supported Anti-Bullying Week.

If you missed any of the posts here is a recap:

Fluttering Buterflies

Review: Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers

Review: The Killers Daughter by Vivian Oldaker

Giveaway - Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Thank you to Clover for also sharing her own personal experience with bullying
Review: Kissing the Rain by Kevin Brooks

Chicklish

Review: Dancing in the Dark by Peter Prendergast

Giveaway: Dancing in the Dark by Peter Prendergast
Review: The Good Daughter by Amra Pajalic

Portrait of a Woman:

Review: 13 reasons Why by Jay Asher

Thank you also to Caroline for opening up within her post and sharing her experience with bullying
Review: My Name is Mina by David Almond

Susan K Mann
Follow Susan blog via email here

Review: The Silence Seeker by Ben Morley

Heaven, Hell and Purgatory

Review: Boys Don't Cry by Malorie Blackman

The Book Fairy's Haven

Bullying a Personal Perspective

The Overflowing Library

Bullying a Teachers Perspective

Plus the posts on this blog under the tag #ABW

I would also like to thank everyone that stopped by the blog this week and left such wonderful comments. THANK YOU

Thank you all for your support with Anti-Bullying Week - you guys are totally awesome. If you are not following their wonderful blogs you really need to do so NOW!!!!!

Review: When I was Joe by Keren David

Title: When I was Joe
Series: When I was Joe
Author: Keren David
Publisher: Frances Lincoln Children's Books
Publication Date: 7 Jan 2010

Source: Library



Synopsis: From Amazon
When Ty witnesses a stabbing, his own life is in danger from the criminals he’s named, and he and his mum have to go into police protection. Ty has a new name, a new look and a cool new image – life as Joe is good, especially when he gets talent spotted as a potential athletics star, special training from an attractive local celebrity and a lot of female attention. But his mum can’t cope with her new life, and the gangsters will stop at nothing to flush them from hiding. Joe’s cracking under extreme pressure, and then he meets a girl with dark secrets of her own. This wonderfully gripping and intelligent novel depicts Ty/Joe's confused sense of identity in a moving and funny story that teenage boys and girls will identify with - a remarkable debut from a great new writing talent.


Review:
Written in first person narrative from Ty/Joe's perspective. At fourteen, he has grown up in a low income, rough, multi-cultural part of London. The product of a teenage pregnancy with no contact from his father. He does have a terrific loving family especially in the form of his Grandmother and Aunts. He has a good relationship with his Mother although he has never tested the bonds before, they have always had to struggle for money. As a unit they have given him a firm moral conscience; making the main thread of the story even more astounding. I did find his mother rather immature/selfish having relied on other people to provide nurture for Ty, you can appreciate that she was just a child herself when she had him. He attends an alleged privileged all boys school where his background and lack of money make him a target for bullying.

The plot is unraveled in the form of recaps of the events leading up to the placement in witness protection. The depiction of Police treatment to witnesses was infuriating. You can understand to a certain degree how people who witness crimes do not speak out. As witnesses are treated as criminals themselves, it is easy to see why crimes go unreported/people look the other way all a reflection of today's society which really saddens me. The generally thinking that it was 'normal' to carry a knife was beyond belief.

Keren has a very compelling writing style, drawing the reader into the plot. It is very British in its references and language, vast cultural differences are depicted giving amazing insight into the difference a small distance can make to your surroundings and attitude. It confounds me that teenagers are drawn to using what is classified as 'gangsta' language in order to appear threatening, it does make me as a parent question the affect that television has on youths/society. The hysterical Simon Cowell reference lightens what could be an overwhelming dour mood.

The acerbic look at how conformity is encouraged and instilled via school uniform in Secondary schools, was so accurate it was scary. Working in a Secondary school I can completely picture the inner workings of peer pressure even down to the name calling. The first thing to be attacked is their sexuality, the term 'gay' is used to describe anything from sexuality to being geeky/dorky, it all comes under that one classification. Making it easy to understand Ty/Joe having his sexuality questioned by so-called friends. I couldn't really understand why Ty was friends with Arron other than for protection. Lots of reverse racism is interwoven into the narrative; in my opinion this is not taking seriously enough. In today's multi-cultural politically correct society remarks made to ethnic minorities are blown out of proportion but when the reverse occurs (ethnic minority to white British) nothing is done about it. This makes me want to stand on my soapbox and rant.

In the beginning Ty comes across as a bit of a 'sheep', he doesn't stand out, has only one 'friend' and stays out of the way. Peer pressure is a very powerful thing, wolves lead and sheep follow as a way to be popular. However, when he becomes Joe his whole persona alters, he is more outgoing and popular. Making me think that Ty/Joe thinks he can be a different person just because he has a different haircut and cool clothes.  Or whether a change of environment promotes a fresh start. Via the narrative you get the impression that Ty really likes being Joe. His talent for languages is under-appreciated by everyone. I almost felt as if Ty had a split personality. I completely adored the use of irony showing that Ty/Joe has to live a lie because he told the truth.

Although circumstances and peer pressure conspire against Joe. Escalating gang violence showing parallels of events with both Arron and Carl. Varying degrees of bullying/intimidation/conformity and social hierarchies are all shown in graphic detail. The ridiculous politically correct ways of dealing with bullying are depicted in all their absurdity. Without severe punishment for this kind of behaviour you can easily see how it escalates. Bullying is shown in many forms: social and economic standing/religion/sexuality/the type of clothes you wear/your parents not meeting conventional norms. It seems to me that if someone wants to bully another person they will find a way to do it no matter what it is over. Frighteningly it was shown how easily situations can be manipulated. You are left wondering if Ty/Joe/Jake is so mixed up as a product of his environment.

Some really tough subjects are examined within the narrative: self harm/suicide/gangs/drugs/sexuality/teen pregnancy. Also the stress that being bullied has on people.

A really powerful and compelling story. A quite brutal description of both sides of bullying and its consequences.

Guest Post: Bullying: A Teachers Perspective by Kirsty at The Overflowing Library

One of the things that can make or break a child's experience at school, whether they are successful and achieve within their potential, is if they feel safe happy and secure if their environment. Sadly bullying can be one of those things that mean a young adult feels threatened and insecure in their surroundings. Having worked in a variety of school I'm glad to say all of them recognise this is an area that needs addressing and I have seen a variety of ways it has been dealt with (some more successfully than others). In this post I am going to tell you how the school I currently work in deals with bullying with a notable level of success.

To start with I am lucky I work in a good school. Most of the kids want to be there and there aren't any major problems with behaviour or discipline (they aren't always angels either). Over the past few years we have gained a reputation for being a school that does not tolerate bullying and as a consequence we often gain quite a few children over the year who have struggled at other schools.
I think this is down to two reasons:

Firstly we had a lovely head teacher, whom as a younger man had experienced bullying, as a consequence had not time for it himself, even going to the point of never shouting at the kids himself. I think this set the tone of our school which had continued since he left a few years back.

Secondly the anti bullying policy that is in place works well. Obviously hard core cases are dealt with Heads of House and not tolerated in any way shape or form. These are few and far between and not the type of bullying problem most children encounter at some point in their life. For the day to day minor (but equally traumatic) problems a peer support system has been put in place in school called Friendly Faces. It has been in place for about 7 years now and is award winningly successful in keeping our school a bullying free environment.

Friendly faces is run by a group of Year 11 coordinators. Their job is to manage the day to day running of the scheme. To be a coordinator they have to have served as a Friendly Face for a year in Year 10 and apply and interview for the position. Under them there are around 40 Friendly Face pupils who are all Year 10. They man the Friendly Face base and are on duty once a fortnight at either break or lunch and are available for other pupils to drop in (or make appointments) to discuss problems including, but not limited to, bullying. If a problem is reported to them, they often get both parties together and try to resolve the issues that exist. Most of the time it works and the problem is dealt with. On occasions when it isn't they pass the problem on to a member of staff who will help out. To become a Friendly Face they have to apply, then go through a day of training run by the coordinators. If they impress the coordinators they are invited to be a Friendly Face. The positions are very sought after within the school with a variety of pupils applying (not just the geeky ones) and pupils can lose their positions if they abuse it. Friendly Faces keep records of all the problem they deal with and are expected to respect confidentiality of all those involved.

Another thing that Friendly Faces also do is they help with the transition of pupils from primary to secondary school. This can be a concern for pupils and parent's alike, especially as we have tiny feeder schools and the change can be unnerving. To help with this a Friendly Face Roadshow goes out to visit each of the primary schools in the June before they are due to arrive and they talk and play games with the year 6 pupils to help ease any worries they might have about the move to High School. They produce a pack of useful information to take away and are around on the following induction days when the year 6 pupils first come to high school.

All in all it is a system that I would high recommend. It works well and as I said earlier is award winning. For the past 5 years the Friendly Face team have won the Princess Diana Award, and 2 years ago they won the prestigious Philip Lawrence Award for their work. I think it is effective as it is primarily based on a peer support network and breeds a ethos of zero tolerance amongst the student body and have proved to be the main reason why pupils flock to our school and feel safe and secure in their environment.

Thank you for that insight into the Bullying Policy implemented at your school. It is lovely to see a school where the pupils take ownership of the anti-bullying policy so well. Awards are well deserved. Well Done.

Guest Post: Bullying a Personal Perspective by Tammy from A Book Fairys Haven

Voiceless and Silent

It's a hot, humid and uncomfortably sticky night here in Cape Town. Rather appropriate weather considering the subject I'm writing about is in essence a sticky and uncomfortable subject all on its own.

When I first heard that the lovely Emma from Asamum was going to be hosting the Anti-bullying week campaign on her blog, my first thought was that I needed to write a post.

I hesitated about doing a review because I realised that while I've read a few books which cast the stereotypical mean girl in good number of novels, I haven't actively read books that have specifically dealt with this rather painful topic.

When Emma made a suggestion about doing a post from a personal perspective, I was suddenly transported back to my middle grade years where I served as the resident magnet for bullies. I'm not quite sure what it was about me, but somehow, what was supposed to be wonderful years during my junior years, became years that, to this day, I simply prefer blocking out of my system.

I also realised that the reason I don't tackle too many books on this subject is because out of those books that I have read, every harsh word, every cruel sneer and every taunt I've had to endure, hits far too close to home for comfort. It's hard reading about the subject when the voices of the past still echo through one's very soul.

I see and experience it in the voices of these kids in each of the books that I have attempted to read in the past and have found myself drowning in those feelings of desperate helplessness all over again.

My story isn't a unique one and I'm pretty sure that there are many who have stories that are far worse than mine, but I thought I'd put my voice out there and tell everyone who has gone through this or is currently going through bullying in any form whatsoever, that you don't have to continue living in silence.

I'm also telling you this so that you don't make the same mistakes like I did when I decided it would be better to keep quiet and allow the voices of the bullies to snuff out whatever light I had within me.

When I was young, I was the fat, awkward kid who no one wanted to be friends with. Right from the start, I was constantly teased and tormented by others around me. I never knew what it was that I had done to make them choose me to be their target, but all I remember is how desperately I wanted them to like me and be my friend.

Naturally, because I was this young and didn't understand that a bully won't stop being a bully even if you're nice to them, I set out to do everything I could to get them to like me. Much to my shame, I only ended up compromising my integrity and throwing away my dignity in the process.

I started making up lies about fabulous things that I didn't own and made promises to those who bullied me just so that I could make them like me.

I gave away my lunch goodies and for the sake of fitting in, pretended to like everything that they did all because I so desperately wanted to make it stop and to make them become friends with me. I brought wonderful things from home and gave it to the bullies because all I wanted to fit in.

I was tired of being the awkward, ugly kid. I was even more tired of feeling even uglier than I already did when I was not being surrounded by them.

I know.

Pathetic right?

I suspect most victims of bullies try to get the bullies to like them in one form or another - we have this sense that we need their approval to exist in the world. In the process, we give away so much of ourselves that inadvertently, we don't just let them break us down, but we allow them to kill that inner light.

And essentially, that's what I did.

I let them snuff out my light without a thought.

What made things worse is that for a 11 year old kid, I had enormous breasts. I was an early developer - and of course, being already overweight, the kids around me didn't need a second invitation to add that to the list of their already mocking and jeering taunts.

I still cringe when I think about it.

Trust me when I say that no 11-year old girl wants to be labelled anything along the lines of watermelons and milk jugs.

Every. Single. Day.

And of course, being the bullies they were, once they latched onto the one thing I hated most about myself, they carried down that path and went on to find other things about me that they could torment me about.

My hair was pulled, I was called ugly, was pushed around at times and was relegated to being the person who people only went to because they wanted something.

Yet, I kept quiet about it. Which I can honestly tell you was the worst mistake I could have possibly made. At that point, I was so systematically torn down, that I believed that I deserved to be treated that way. My spirit was broken, and I couldn't do anything about it until I eventually escaped and moved onto high school.

I realised, when I gained more understanding, that by remaining voiceless, I let those bullies win. I may have learnt all this by hindsight, but you don't have to. If you're being bullied, it's time you opened your mouth to SPEAK LOUDLY.

Courage is having the ability to do something even in the midst of your fear - and by taking that one step and just talking, you've just taken your first step to winning that battle.

My experience with being bullied has taught me that it's not about what people do to you physically, but what they do to your spirit.

I had to endure years of systematic taunts that changed me for the worse. It took a good number of years, a breast reduction and a newly formed friendship with a friend who would only borrowed to me for a short time in order for me to grow into a new skin.

Don't let what I allowed to happen to me, to happen to you too. Speak up and speak loudly against it and if ever you see someone being bullied, don't just stand by and watch, help that person to find his/her voice again.

On a last note, I've decided that I'm going to tackle Some Girls Are. I've put off reading that one for a long time, but I think that it's time to overcome those voices of the past, don't you?

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank Tammy for sharing something so personal with us. I am sure a lot of people will be able to relate to it.
I sincerely hope that this campaign will help combat the increasing levels of bullying.

Thursday Tunes: Anti-Bullying Suggested Playlist

With special thanks to my amazing music buddy Andrew at The Emancipation of Pewter Wolf

Review: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Title: Speak
Author: Laurie Halse Anderson
Publisher: Hodder Childrens Books
Publication Date: 20 Mar 2008

Source: Own





Synopsis: From Amazon
From her first moment at Merryweather High, Melinda Sordino knows she's an outcast. She busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops - a major infraction in high-school society - so her old friends won't talk to her, and people she doesn't know glare at her. No one knows why she called the police, and she can't get out the words to explain. So she retreats into her head, where the lies and hypocrisies of high school stand in stark relief to her own silence. But it's not so comfortable in her head, either - there's something banging around in there that she doesn't want to think about. But, try as she might, it just won't go away...

Review:
Phew, this was a really hard read for me. So emotional on a multitude of levels, taking into account the subject matter I found this particular scenario totally scary as I have 3 daughters and the oldest is only a few years younger than Melinda in this book.

Written in first person narrative from Melinda's point of view. The reader is dropped into the middle of something but is not made aware of exactly what has happened until later in the story. From the beginning we establish that Melinda is isolated due to an event that has occurred within the last few months.

I have to say I did not find Melinda particularly like-able at the beginning, before the story unfolded, due to her complete lack of enthusiasm for anything, I found her hard to relate to, which I guess is part of the point. The events leading up to this point and her current emotional state are revealed slowly..

The omnipresent cliques are portrayed in unnerving accuracy. These stereotypes dominate events throughout life not just in school. We are shown through the narrative that people will always believe what they want to, not necessarily the truth. There are always two sides to a story although it is rarely acknowledged. People always side with the popular clique and don't bother asking questions that would upset the status quo.

Plot teasers are placed throughout the narrative making the reader imagine the worst case scenario. I found the reference to book banning totally ironic in light of recent events.

The imagery was very powerful making the tension palpable from between the lines. The narrative contained terrific use of metaphor to convey the isolation and desolation that Melinda felt.

I was left speechless at the relationship that Melinda had with her parents. I just could not relate to that at all. Leaving her to fend for herself most of the time, so caught up in their own lives/work to fully understand their own child. This part was very difficult for me and made me self-analyze my relationship with my children. I could not understand how they did not know something was the matter and deal with it. Especially when it came to the falling grades and lack of enthusiasm, I would like to think I would pick up that there was a deeper problem if it was one of my children. It made me feel as if they did not really care for her at all.

When Melinda eventually admits the true problem, she is shunned at first. Adding to her feeling of anguish. It is only following another frightening event that the truth is revealed; lifting the burden from Melinda. I would have liked to have seen how the truth was dealt with; the reactions of her family and friends etc.

The message behind this story is quite simple: SPEAK out. If nothing is ever said about being bullying and worse then how are we as a population supposed to stop it. You have to think, would you want other people to suffer the same as you have. SPEAK!!!!!!

Don't forget to check out Fluttering Butterflies giveaway to win a copy of Speak for yourself.

USA - It Gets Better Project

If you have read and reviewed a LGBT book, please leave the link here:

Anti-Bullying Week Random Discussion/Rant

This is probably going to be a rather big rant but I wanted to get it off my chest, so to speak, as I can feel it eating away at me, making my blood boil.

For those that follow me on twitter, you will have seen me become quite incensed last Tuesday 9th November. Why was this you ask yourself. I shall get on my soapbox and tell you.

Some bright, obviously of superior intelligence, person decided that 9th November should be decreed as, wait for it, Slap a Ginger person day.

You may well gasp in shock.

One of my lovely Assistant Librarians has beautiful bright red hair. His day was spent being slapped by all and sundry. I even got asked by 2 people if they could slap him. My reaction: to have a complete meltdown, screaming about bullying and discrimination to people with different colour hair. While banning the offending 2 pupils from the library.

There are a number of famous people with 'ginger' hair. Would they have been slapped in the same way as these poor pupils were???

Thinking this would be the end to the idiocy. What do you think???

Upon arriving at the library Wednesday 10th November, I was informed that via Facebook and other social networking sites, the problem had increased.

10th - Beat Up a Blond Day

11th - Bash a Brunette Day

12th - Rough up a Red Head Day

This was immediately reported to the Head Teachers. But someone/anyone please please please tell me what the world is coming to that teens are encouraged to participate in these idiotic schemes.

Why hasn't facebook done anything to prevent this kind of thing from occurring??

Why is this considered acceptable behaviour??

Surely, it cannot just be due to my age that I question this type of mentality.

What do you think??

How can we work together to stop things like this happening in the future???

Trailer Tuesday: Help for Bullying



MG Monday: Guest Review: Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

Title: Stargirl
Series: Stargirl
Author: Jerry Spinelli
Publisher: Orchard
Publication Date: 4 Jan 2007

Source: Own

Thanks to Danni Year 12 for writing the review for me.


Synopsis: From GoodReads
Stargirl. From the day she arrives at quiet Mica High in a burst of color and sound, the hallways hum with the murmur of “Stargirl, Stargirl.” She captures Leo Borlock’s heart with just one smile. She sparks a school-spirit revolution with just one cheer. The students of Mica High are enchanted. At first.
Then they turn on her. Stargirl is suddenly shunned for everything that makes her different, and Leo, panicked and desperate with love, urges her to become the very thing that can destroy her: normal.
 
Review:
Some may say that Stargirl is a very complex book to read but it is just taking the personalities and stereotypes of young people to an extreme level, which I believe makes us more tolerant to society. Stargirl in herself is difficult to understand as a person but isn’t everyone like that?

 From when she first arrives at Mica Area High School, everyone is intrigued by her as she is so different from the norm. Catching the attention of Hilary Kimble, who loves having attention and despises Stargirl for taking the attention from her. However, her mysteries attract Leo Borlock, an average teenager. Leo just wants to be left alone, blending into the background but is thrust into the limelight after he begins dating Stargirl. However, he eventually decides that this relationship and repercussions from it are too much for him to handle.

Throughout the beginning of the book, Leo’s best friend, Kevin tries to knock Leo out of his stupor with Stargirl. Convincing him to encourage her to appear on their TV show, “Hot Seat”. Eventually this does take place with disastrous results.


The story of Stargirl is quite bizarre and confusing (I had to read the book several times before I understood her and the story!!) However, I think we can all relate to the hidden messages in this book. The different ways of coping with bullying, the feeling of falling in love for the first time and the heartbreak when it doesn’t work out.

The parts of the book where Leo visits Archie and Señor Saguaro, I find incredibly irrelevant to the story. Although they can give us a little insight into the character of Stargirl; her background and why she acts the way she does. Stargirl’s pet rat Cinnamon is ultimately the force that brings Stargirl and Leo together. However, I believe he is a way of Stargirl expressing her individuality. I believe by reading this book, we become more tolerant to others in society, help us to become better people and understand young people in a better way.

For more great MG books dealing with bullying check here

If you have read and reviewed a MG book dealing with bullying, please leave the link here.

Introduction to Advice regarding Bullying

This post is taken from Bullying UK but I thought it would be a great way to start Anti-Bullying Week #ABW

Bullies are very cunning and are expert at getting away with it.

We all know that bullying goes on in every school but it's the way it's dealt with which makes the difference between life being tolerable or a misery.

How to solve the problem

If you are being bullied, tell a friend, tell a teacher and tell your parents. It won't stop unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you tell your parents what's going on.

Your form tutor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him/her when it won't be noticeable. You could stay behind on the pretext of needing help with some work. If you don't feel you can do that, then go to the medical room and speak to the school nurse.

The best idea is if a teacher can catch the bullies red-handed. That way, you won't get into bother from anyone for telling tales. It will be clear to everyone what has been going on. Don't be tempted to hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.

Bullying includes:

People calling you names

Making things up to get you into trouble

Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving

Taking things away from you

Damaging your belongings

Stealing your money

Taking your friends away from you

Posting insulting messages on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)

Spreading rumours

Threats and intimidation

Making silent or abusive phone calls

Sending you offensive phone texts

Bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them

Hitting someone is an assault.

Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. Bullies don't like witnesses. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.

Bullying is upsetting

Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.

You could think about judo or martial arts classes so that you are confident you can look after yourself if necessary.

If people are making nasty remarks about you then it may be because they are jealous. Perhaps you're better looking than they are or work harder or perhaps the teachers like you better. One way of dealing with remarks is simply to say ...yeah, whatever, .... each time so that you show them that it isn't having the effect of upsetting you in the way they think.

The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset.

They may make remarks about:

Your weight

Your looks

The colour of your hair

Your family

Your schoolwork

If you are popular

If you work hard

If you have a disability

If you are a different religion, colour or culture

If you wear spectacles or a hearing aid

If you have dyslexia or dyspraxia

If you've been off school due to illness

Bullying UK gets emails from pupils who have stopped eating because they've been called fat, or stupid because they have dyslexia. One girl tried to burn her freckles off because of cruel remarks.

The thing all these pupils had in common is that they were perfectly ordinary, nice people who had the misfortune to come up against a very nasty person

JUST REMEMBER THERE IS HELP OUT THERE. DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE.

Please add your link to give further advice on bullying:

Beatbullying's Big March Starts here

At exactly 8am on Monday, November 15th, The Big March begins on Beatbullying's

website and is spotlighted on YouTube's homepage. Led by the very cool and

compassionate Bishop Desmond Tutu and supported by over 750,000 people, The Big

March will cross 60 websites, including MTV, JLS, MSN, Action for Children,

Stardoll, Children England, Netmums, AOL, Orange, and Girlguiding UK.

Together we are raising a voice to ask our Government to protect our children

from bullying, harassment and intimidation by their peers.

You can follow the route here: http://www.beatbullying.org./

If you would like to make a donation to Beatbullying, please click here:

http://www.beatbullying.org/dox/what-you-can-do/i-would-like-to-give-now.html.

Saturday Spotlight: Anti-Bullying Week

Check out these fantastic posts and sites:

Keren David: Saving Lives with their Stories

Lessons on Gay History - Guardian Online

I Heart Daily: We Stop Hate

We Stop Hate YouTube Channel

Bullying UK

Beat Bullying

The Trevor Project - It Gets Better

Anti-Bullying Week Schedule:

Introduction to Advice on Bullying by Bullying UK - at Asamum Booktopia Monday 15th November

Review: The Silence Seeker by Ben Morley - at Susan K Mann Monday 15th November

Review and Giveaway: Dancing in the Dark by Peter Prendergast - at Chicklish Monday 15th November

Review: Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers - at Fluttering Butterflies Monday 15th November

Guest Review: Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli - at Asamum Booktopia Monday 15th November

Review: 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher - at Portrait of a Woman Tuesday 16th November

Trailer Tuesday: Help for coping with Bullying at Asamum Booktopia Tuesday 16th November

Anti-Bullying Week Random Discussion/Rant at Asamum Booktopia Tuesday 16th November

Review: The Killers Daughter by Vivian Oldaker a Fluttering Butterflies Tuesday 16th November

Review: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - at Asamum Booktopia Wednesday 17th November

Giveaway - Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - at Fluttering Butterflies Wednesday 17th November

Review: Boys Don't Cry by Malorie Blackman at Heaven, Hell and Purgatory Thursday 18th November

Thursday Tunes: Anti-Bullying Play-list at Asamum Booktopia Thursday 18th November

Guest Post: Tammy at The Book Fairy's Haven: Bullying a Personal Perspective Friday 19th November

Guest Post: Bullying: A Teachers Perspective by Kirtsty at The Overflowing Library Friday 19th November

Review: When I was Joe by Keren David - at Asamum Booktopia Friday 19th November

USA The Trevor Project - It Gets Better - at Asamum Booktopia Friday 19th November

Review: Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver - at Girls Without a Bookshelf Friday 19th November

Please add your link to additional posts about bullying with the Title of the post under Name:

Saturday Spotlight: Bullying

As you might be aware I ran a Saturday Spotlight a few weeks ago about bullying (here) Thanks to the wonderful comments from lovely fellow bloggers and some I came up with myself; I was able to put together a list of books which deal with bullying to some extent.

I was hoping to host a anti-bullying themed week on my blog for Anti-Bullying week 15th - 19th November. However, I understand that a few other people want to run their own anti-bullying weeks. I would like to tie this all together by using a hash-tag on Twitter #ABW and by displaying the Anti-Bullying Week Blog Button below. Also if you could give me a schedule of what you are going to post I will put it on my blog on the Monday and then a recap at the end of the week. Giving more publicity for the posts and therefore the anti-bullying campaign.

BOOKS THAT DEAL WITH BULLYING

Before I Fall – Lauren Oliver (review here)

The Skin I’m In – Sharon G Flake

Blubber – Judy Blume

Inside My Head – Jim Carrington

13 Reasons Why – Jay Asher (being reviewed by Caroline at Portrait of a Woman)

Dancing in the Dark – Peter Prendergast (being reviewed by Luisa at Chicklish)

Stargirl – Jerry Spinelli (being reviewed by Asamum Booktopia)

Kissing the Rain – Kevin Brooks (being reviewed by Clover at Fluttering Butterflies)

Boys Don’t Cry – Malorie Blackman (being reviewed by Lyndsey at Heaven, Hell and Purgatory)

Staring up at the Sun - Suzanne Bugler

Indigo's Star - Hilary McKay

Burn - Suzanne Phillips

Plus the list from Clover at Fluttering Butterfiles

Speak - Laurie Halse Anderson (being reviewed by Asamum Booktopia)

(Plus Clover will be giving you a chance to win a copy for yourself on her blog during #ABW)

Hate List - Jennifer Brown

Some Girls Are - Courtney Summers (being reviewed by Clover at Fluttering Butterflies)

The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl - Barry Lyga

The Lottery - Beth Goobie

Please let me know if you would like to contribute by reviewing one of these bullying themed books or by writing a post from a personal perspective.

Don't forget to join the virtual march at Beat Bullying

Saturday Spotlight: Bullying

I have been trying to put this post together for quite some time. It has been particularly pushed forward by the appeal Ellen DeGeneras made on her show.

I would like to get involved in Anti-Bullying Week which takes place 15th-19th of November this year. Being based in a school certainly is an eye-opener where pupil attitudes (to themselves and each other) are astonishing in their abasement.

Notably, the area I live in has had a spate of suicides over the last few years. One as recent as a fortnight ago involving a 13 year old boy. No connection has been found between these suicides but it does put the community on red alert. For further insight into this please read the article featured in Wales Online.

A way for the whole blogging community to come together and help with this never ending battle is to take part in the Anti-Bullying Virtual Protest March:

The Big March will be hosted entirely online and culminate at a virtual Number 10 Downing Street, where marchers will sign a petition asking Government for help to protect kids from bullying, violence and harassment.

People can join the march now at www.beatbullying.org/bigmarch, where they can create an avatar with a placard and wait in the online Big March Park until November 15.


The charity is also hoping the march will put pressure on Government to set up a Big March Bullying Commission, which would investigate how Government, schools, families and communities can reduce incidents of bullying and give children a life free from violence and harassment.

The march will culminate at Number 10 where Beatbullying hopes the petition will be presented virtually to Prime Minister David Cameron by children, teachers, celebrities, charities and industry: an inspirational example of all strands of society working together to eradicate bullying once and for all.


Read more at The Mirror Online.

So all my lovely blogger friends please join me - create your avatar. Come find me under asamum booktopia banner.

If anyone can suggest some good books with bullying themes please leave a list in the comment box or email me here.

Thank you all for your support