Junk Food Junkie

I've been put on a strict diet since I got the Zofran pump. I'm supposed to only eat the most refined carbs as I can possibly muster. They are the easiest to digest and tend to have the most calories-both in my favor. Chips, cookies, pop tarts, sugar cereal, iced animal crackers, etc. I'm also not allowed to eat meat or dairy for at least 3 weeks. Also, no water. That's right, no water. Only sugary liquids. I've only drank Gatorade and Hawaiian Punch for the last 36 hours. Until I can for sure keep these items down, I can't move on to anything else. In the meantime, I'm sure my teeth are totally rotting, but as least I (hopefully) won't be puking.

As a side note, the only other time in my life that I've had Hawaiian Punch was in Jr. High. My Jr. High school didn't sell any carbonated beverages so if you bought lunch, you got a Hawaiian Punch (I don't remember if water was even an option) or you could pay extra and get a coveted Snapple. Maybe twice a month, my mom would give me lunch money when she was too tired to make me a lunch and I would eat a Taco Bell Bean Burrito with Hawaiian Punch and if I had money left over, I would get a Flinstones Push-Up or Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles. No freaking wonder kids are fat.

Pump It Up!

Some of you know now that I've been suffering from a terrible parasite for the last few weeks. Unfortunately, this parasite will be around for another 33 weeks. Monday night, I dropped Will off at a friends (thanks Carie) so I could go to the ER to get some fluids because I hadn't stopped dry heaving for 30 min. Luckily I got in pretty fast and was hooked up to fluids right away. 3 Liters, 2 potassium (horse size tranquilizers) tablets, 2 doses of zofran and a cup of ice chips later, I was driving home feeling depressed, to say the least. I'm only 7 weeks along and I already feel this horrible? I felt horrible that I couldn't take care of Will and I knew he was getting frustrated that I never got off the couch or took him outside. And I couldn't help but think that the odds were that I would feel this way for at least 12 more weeks.

The next day, I tried to rest, but I really just couldn't stop thinking about the hard road ahead. Not being able to take care of your family and feeling crazy sick yourself is not a good combo for self esteem. So, I prayed. I just prayed that somehow we would get through this. And I sent out a mass text message asking for prayers hoping that if we strung all the prayers out together, that would be enough for us to make it to the end.

Today I went to the Dr. and she prescribed for me a Zofran pump. This (I think) is like a diabetic insulin pump, but with Zofran. I was supposed to have one when I was pregnant with Will, but we weren't eligible because we were on Medicaid. Its really expensive, I mean really expensive. For some kind of reference, Zofran is $40/pill, so you can imagine what it would be for this kind of service. But this service sounds magical. You have all the Zofran you want and don't have to swallow it. You have nurses calling and coming to your house to check up on you to make sure you don't have key tones in your urine, or losing any more weight (I've already lost 10). I know I really need this service, but I knew we wouldn't be able to afford it.

The Zofran pump company called me today to get my information and called me back telling me what my part of the payment would be. We have awesome insurance because Cort works for the gov't, but I was still responsible for 20% of this service. $90.27. A day? I asked. Yep, that was the 20% portion that I would be paying each day. My stomach sank. I knew that wouldn't be possible for our finances, as much as I wanted and needed that zofran pump. She asked if I had any financial concerns about the service and I explained that I knew I really needed it, but it would be very hard on my family to have to pay that. She said she'd talk to her supervisor and call me back. I wasn't expecting very much to happen, but she called back and said she had talked to her director and they would only charge what my insurance paid for and they'd "call it good". My eyes filled with tears. And that doesn't really happen to me, but it did. I thanked her over and over and she assured me she was happy to do it.

So tomorrow, I should have a snazzy zofran pump connected to me and hopefully I will be feeling much better soon, but I'd settle for just wanting to eat. Thank you everyone for your prayers in our behalf, they have been answered! I still have tears in my eyes. This is such a blessing to us. This has given me the hope to feel like I can go on for the next 7 months!

Happy Birthday Jacob!

The best part about my birthday is that I get to share it with my big brother, Jacob.

Pictures of Fall

The Horseshoe- epitome of Fall in Ohio. There's just something so unique about walking down Woody Hayes on a game day. Nothing quite like it and so thankful I live here so I can enjoy it each Fall.

Going Green to Save Green

Last month we made the switch to cloth diapers and we are loving life! Thankfully, cloth diapers have improved tremendously over the years and with the new girls downstairs (my washer and dryer), we don't even sweat it! We still use disposables at night, but about 90% of the time we use these and I love not feeling like I'm a slave to buying diapers. Its really not that bad, at all. If anyone is interested, I highly recommend it. Even Cort thinks they're awesome!

Park Days

I would say that at least 3 times a week, Will and I spend the afternoons at some of our local parks. All these pictures were taken at Northam Park. Its right next to the library, so we usually play there for a while, then head to the park. Another plus for this park is that its a great place to meet Dad on his way home from work to have some family time before we head home for the night.

Will loves this park and is getting to be quite the dare devil. He likes to go over to the edges of the jungle gym and hold one foot off just to scare me and see me scream and run around the jungle gym to get to him. Its a great game for him and good cardiovascular exercise for me.

This is Will screeching in excitement. When he sees other kids playing on the jungle gym he starts yelping in excitement. Its so funny.

This is the calm before the storm. I'm about to tell him its time to go home and he's about to get really pissed off.

Cute Kid

These are pictures from last month when the weather was a little warmer and we would cool off with the hose in the backyard on hot days. Gosh, I love this kid.

Middle of the Night Sports Talk

Will woke up at 4:30 this morning. Usually this means all of his binkys fell out of the crib, but we knew that wasn't that case when we went in and found him with a binky in his mouth. After going through the normal troubleshooting of why my child awake in the middle of the night, we discovered he had peed through his diaper. Easy fix. I was SO tired when all of this happening, I barely remember it, but after Cortney changed his diaper, Will was sitting on his lap drinking some milk before we'd send him off to bed again and I was in a slightly comatose state on the couch hoping to return to my bed soon when I heard this:

Cort: So Will what do you think about the Florida LSU game tomorrow?

Will: fjdsk l;f nkllwne ktrnio vo ndsksn rteinvidos.

Cort: Oh really? Most people think they'll lose even though Tebow is out.

I love the bond that dads and sons have. Even though I was so tired, I couldn't help but smiling and wanted to write it down before I forgot it.

Trouble

Yesterday Will was trying my nerves, to say the least. Really the whole day was great, except for the hours from 4-7 pm. At this specific time, I was babysitting my neighbor who is going through a very "clingy" stage and wants to be held all the time. So as I was trying to hold her so she wouldn't scream, Will climbed up our bookshelf (luckily it is bolted to the wall, thanks Dad). Each time he did this, I told him (stern but nicely, I might add) to stop and when he didn't, I put him in time out. This proceeded to happen 4 more times in 15 minutes. Feeling a little annoyed, I was trying to keep my neighbor happy when I saw Will run out of the kitchen and throw something at the carpet. What was it, you might ask? Just his peanut butter and jelly sandwich from lunch. There were little clumps of grape jelly all over my carpet. I couldn't beleive it. I was so mad. And then he broke one of his toys! On top of everything else!

I was so relieved when Cortney came home, but when I started to tell him about what happened I couldn't even get through the story because I was laughing so hard. We both were. It was just so funny! We kept talking about whether the PB&J incident was premeditated, or if he was running through the kitchen and then passed his sandwich and thought, I could throw this right now. And the fact that my kid seems completely unfazed by punishment floors me. Every time I got him out of time out, he went straight back to the bookshelf. It was like he was saying, "thanks mom for letting me take a break for a while so I can gain more strength for climbing."

Funny kid. At least I can laugh about the hard days.

Bye, for now, Grandpa: Dennis Calvin Slusser 1924-2009

Grandpa with my Dad, I think around 1952. Wasn't he so handsome?
A family picture with Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Linda, Dad, and Aunt Judy as a baby.
Grandma and Grandpa when they left on their mission in 1990 (I think).
Grandpa, as I remember him-always with a smile!
Grandma and Grandpa with their kids (and spouses) a few years ago.

"Grandpa Denny" passed away Saturday morning after 85 years of a great life. We knew it was coming and were all expecting it, but I'm surprised at how difficult it had been to think about going home and not seeing Grandpa sitting in his recliner (probably watching Fox News) at his house.

Grandpa grew up in Sheffield, Illionis and when he was 17, he lied about his age to enter the Navy during World War 2. He joined the SeaBees, where he did construction on runways and other buildings in the Pacific. I know that he also went to Japan shortly after the war was over, I think to help in the rebuilding efforts. When he returned, he landed in LA and decided he loved the sunshine too much to go back to cold Illinois. And since Grandpa was a carpenter, it made more sense to live in a climate where he could work all year round. Grandpa and met Grandma at a USO dance (I think on the Santa Monica Pier- I really need to get my facts straight) and they eloped a short time later. Romantic, huh?

I have a lot of memories of my Grandpa and wish I had time to make a few more. My first memory of my grandparents is visiting them on their mission at the Liberty Jail. I don't remember much about it, other than that I remember being there with them. But since then I have heard both of them talk about their mission with fondness and I know that was a really great time of their marriage. For most of my life, Grandma and Grandpa lived in Santa Monica, in the house my Grandpa built- literally, from the ground up. They would invite me to come and stay for the weekend and the best part about those trips was that I got to sleep on the waterbed in the basement. Something about that wavy bed just seemed to magical. Grandma and Grandpa also let me eat lots of candy, see movies I wasn't allowed to see at home, and Grandma would take me to the swap meat, one of her favorite places. I have a lot of great memories in that house.

Grandpa was strong. And I mean strong. Not very many people can say that their Grandpa can beat up their Dad, but Dad would be the first one to say that Grandpa could put him to shame. I remember his biceps being the size of cantaloupes, and I'm not exaggerating. He was a trained craftsman who never worked in a generation that used power tools and his strength was what powered his tools. He would have beaten any of his sons, son-in-laws, or grandkids in an arm wrestling contest.

Grandpa loved Grandma very much. And the more I think about it, I'm not sure if it would be defined as a romantic love, but a true respect for the other person. They just seemd like 2 halves that made a whole. You never saw one without the other. Grandma has a black belt in shopping and I have never come across another grandma more glamorous than Grandma Connie. I have since dubbed her "Glam-ma". Grandpa loved that Grandma looked so good all the time and he let everyone know that he thought she looked great. Every year, he took his daughters shopping to buy Grandma clothes and jewelry for Christmas. I don't know very many husbands who support shopping like Grandpa did. As a result of Grandma's shopping, Grandpa was very fashionable as well, wearing whatever was "in". Does your Grandpa wear pink ties? Nope, didn't think so.

One time I went to visit them in LA, they told me to bring my bike because they had recently been riding their bikes along the beach. Grandpa loaded up the bikes in the Montero and we headed off to the beach. At the time, I think I was about 9 or so and I remember riding along the beach, but Grandma and Grandpa were way far ahead of me. I never remember being worried, but I remember weaving through groups of homeless people camping on the beach and thinking, "wow, there are a lot of homeless people here!". A few years later, I returned to that beach and put together that I had been there with Grandpa and Grandma. I soon discovered that was Venice Beach:) During this time, my Grandpa was the Bishop of his ward in Santa Monica. This was the same time that my Dad was the Bishop of our ward. I always thought this was so cool. Especially because my mom and Grandma were both the organists of their respective wards at this same time.

Grandpa had a great life. My entire life, he had a great recliner which he took a nap on every day. We spent time in the summers on a house boat at Lake Powell and other family get togethers closer to home at Me and Ed's Pizza, or at houses of our family members. When I was in Jr. High, Grandma and Grandpa moved to Temecula, CA. A few years after they were there, Grandpa had a heart attack and lost a lot of his strength. He looked more like a "normal" Grandpa now, instead of the buff old guy he was before. He was a changed man after that. He seemed to turn into a wise old man, refined by life. He seemed more humble and kind. And as his face started to thin out, I noticed his eyes a lot more. They were beautiful. And when I was a junior in High School, my family moved to Temecula.

At the time, I really didn't know why we were moving. But I remember my Dad really being vocal about him feeling like we needed to move there. That really didn't mean anything to me at the time, unfortunately. But I do know that one of the reasons why he wanted to move there was to be with his parents. I wasn't happy about it to say the least. It was horrible timing for me and I was leaving the only place I had ever known, Laguna Hills, for Temecula. Temecula and Laguna Hills (at the time), although being only 1 hr apart from each other, couldn't be further apart in culture. I went to school in Laguna Hills, where most went surfing after school. When we moved to Temecula, I could see a corn field and feed lot from my bedroom. Many people had horses and wearing wranglers to school wasn't uncommon. Yikes! To be honest, I still haven't warmed up to Temecula, but as time as gone on, I've realized that it was really important for us to move there so my Dad could help his parents. At the time, they didn't need any help, but slowly they needed little things here and there and then at the end, Dad was at all of Grandpa's Dr appointments and at their home multiple times a day. I knew the end of Grandpa's life was near because I could already tell that Dad missed Grandpa. Its so hard to let somebody go when you've served them so much. Dad really loved his Dad and had learned to love him so much more because of all the countless hours he spent with him.

Grandpa loved black licorice and some of his grandkids have developed the taste for it as well after countless pieces of licorice at Grandma and Grandpa's. Me, being one of them. Everytime I came over, Grandpa would open up the candy closet and offer me his newest favorite kind. I can't eat black licorice and not think of Grandpa. In fact, Grandma sends me black licorice for my birthdays! In the latter years of his life, Grandpa earned a degree in the Bill O'Reilly School of Politics. He loved watching Fox News and especially Bill O'Reilly. It makes me laugh now, but at the time I just never had the heart to tell him that I'm a registered Independent because I think both sides are corrupt and wrong. It would have just crushed him. Grandpa had 2 licence plate covers on his car- one for the Lakers, and one that said "No Spin Zone".

Grandpa was a very likable guy. Grandma and Grandpa made the habit of inviting new families over for dinner after church and they made so many friends because they were so friendly. Everyone knew "Denny" and everyone knew him by name at his favorite restaurants, but what surprised me is that even in his old age, he could remember every one's name no matter how small of an acquaintance they were. Grandma and Grandpa worked at the San Diego Temple and Grandpa worked at the recommend desk. I can't think of a better person for that job than Grandpa. What a friendly face to see! I know that calling was special to him and I think that was a great time in his life when he was able to be at the temple to often. Grandpa went to physical therapy each week and was known for playing tricks on the "new guys". One of my favorite was he took a remote controlled fart machine and placed it under the drinking fountain so each time someone bent over to take a drink, they farted. Classic Grandpa humor that we all loved.

Grandma was raised in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and as far as I know, Grandpa was always supportive of his family going to church. I kind of imagine Grandpa being a "dry Mormon", someone who wasn't technically a member, but was probably at every function. I'm not sure how or why he decided to get baptized but in 1957, he decided to to just that. He was still smoking up until the day he got baptized, but when I asked him how he stopped, he said that after he was baptized, he just never wanted to smoke again. He still drank coffee for a few more years, prohibiting their family from being sealed in the temple. Grandma was clever and figured out how to get around that one! Grandpa took a thermos of coffee with him each morning to work and little by little Grandma substituted Pero (a coffee substitute) for the coffee without ever telling Grandpa until he was drinking only Pero. So without even realizing it Grandpa had quit drinking coffee and they were ready to be sealed. For a long time, I gave Grandma all the credit for taking matters into her own hands, but when I look back at it now, I'm really impressed that Grandpa was able to have the faith to move forward in the Gospel under those circumstances.

Above all the little anecdotes and memories I have of Grandpa, the thing I remember the most was that Grandpa was so average. Just like you and me. I never thought of him as a spiritual giant, but of someone who made slow and steady progress every day. We're taught in the scriptures that this life is the time to prepare to meet God, and Grandpa did just that. He was always trying to take care of his family and trying to do the right thing and did the small and simple things that really make a difference in your life and your family's life: praying, serving a mission, helping your fellow man, and fulfilling your church callings. All these things are simple, but take dedication and Grandpa willingly offered up his time to do these things and it had made all the difference in his life. The last time I saw Grandpa a few weeks before he passed away, he was frail, and hanging by a thread, but there was no question where he was headed. He had been prepared throughout his life for this time to meet God. He was so average, but was able to accomplish something so extraordinary, through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ all of his little deeds added up to him being ready to pass on and living in the Savior's presence. This gives me so much strength in my own life. I feel so average, at best, and most days I know I fall short, but when I look at Grandpa's life I know that if I keep trying, I'll make it ok, even though I'm just an average joe. And this has also taught me a lot about the trials I have in my life. Looking at Grandpa's life has allowed me to look at trials as a gift, because those trials will keep molding me into the person my Heavenly Father wants me to become, so I can be humbled and ready to get back to heaven, just like Grandpa did.

Grandpa was a one of a kind, and I sure am going to miss him and his smile. I secretly hope that he and Grandpa Lloyd (Cort's Grandpa) are hanging out because they seem like they would be close friends if they aren't already.

Love you Grandpa! See you Soon!

The Amazing Race:15

Amy's Horse: The Harlem Globetrotters
Cortney's Horse: The autistic kid and his friend.


When I was very sick and pregnant and we only had 3 channels, Cortney and I started watching the Amazing Race and we have watched every season since then with the tradition of "picking horses" at the start of each season. This might be the stiffest competition ever between us this season...

Current Favorite Afternoon Snacks

Kettle Corn. This bag, when popped, boasts almost 6 cups of yummy kettle corn for only 100 calories! Every time I eat it and I get to the kernels at the bottom, it seems almost too good to be true that I feel completely indulged and don't have cellulite to show for it. Will has also grown to love kettle corn and its kind of our afternoon ritual around 4 pm, when we're both hungry and waiting for Cortney to get home so we can eat dinner. It also kills time because it takes us so long to eat the bag, and as an added bonus I get to hold Will (while he's still) for a whole 1 minute and 40 seconds while he watches the popcorn pop in the microwave. Win-Win.
Graham Crackers and Milk. I grew up having this tasty combo as a bedtime snack, but now I have it pretty much after every meal. I love it. It just soothes my tummy, even if I'm feeling just fine. I just re-discovered my love for this combo a few weeks ago and my taste buds are never going back! Will, of course, also loves graham crackers and I melt every time he holds one and takes little chipmunk bits and I hear him chomp on it and then he smiles with crumbs all over his mouth. What can I say, this kid and I connect with food.