I can basically die now

Here and here.

I've been listening to Outkast since I was 13. Speakerboxx/The Love Below is in my top ten favorite albums of all time. Dreams come true y'all. Dreams come true.

And yes, this is Big Boi's verified account. I checked.

I'm gonna go jump out the window now. xoxo

Something is, technically, wrong

Stop being a smartass Twitter. You and your invisible commas.

Oh, don't try to make it better with a friendly robot whose hand fell off who I am therefore supposed to feel empathy for. Well, guess what Twitter. I feel no empathy at all for things that are not humans. I fucking laughed* the first time I saw Old Yeller, and I never, ever cry at movies that depict robots or other monsters as people-like things with feelings**.


*cried like a baby
**quantifiably untrue

Aiming Low: My first real blogger convention

Last night, I went to my first real convention for bloggers! I'm like legitimate now? It was sponsored by Aiming Low, a blog started by a group of snarky women who basically make fun of themselves for having no real ambitions in life, aside from - apparently - launching a really successful blog that has quite a bit of a cult following. But I mean, it's whatevz.






















So I ate free food and drank free dirty martinis water and handed out ghetto homemade blogger cards in the hopes that some of these hilarious women might also find me hilarious. I also met the ladies behind the Twitter jewelry you may have seen around the Internet. The company is Survival of the Hippest, and I'm probs going to order one because I think they're tongue-in-cheek and brilliant. And I guess they inspired me, because on my way home I tweeted the following.












So, that was a good decision. I'm pretty sure there's an incorrect comma usage in there somewhere. And then this morning I wake up and see this in my inbox.










Internet 1, Meghan 0.

Twitter freaks

Sometimes Twitter scares me. I recently said "goddamn" in one of my tweets, and I soon saw this reply in my TwitterFox.










I didn't even know bloody_elf was following me. I clicked on the account and it was just a bunch of @replies saying similar things to everyone using the word "goddamn" on Twitter: "Swearing is not appreciated." "That is not a nice thing to say." "That is not polite." And even the somewhat threatening, "Yesterday I asked you to stop swearing, but today you did it again." (You can almost hear the whip cracking in the background, no?)

However, the elf's @reply to me is the funniest and most melodramatic. It's almost as if bloody_elf knew that I enjoy few things more than a tongue-in-cheek, completely over the top and ridonkulous statement. I also think he or she might be in cohorts with my ex, who hates the word goddamn.

Also, what is Twitter4J? The only thing that pops into my mind is Twitter 4 Jesus, in which case, 1) Freak; 2) Jesus would probs not be a proponent of spanking, in any context; and 3)It's a free goddamn country and I can goddamn say "goddamn" as much as I goddamn please, goddamnit.

Hautey Toddy throwback

The total hautey inside me smiled A LOT when I saw this e-mail.








Huzzah!

Exploring El Barrio

In a monumental effort to avoid making a trip to Ikea to return my defunct bedside lamp, I decided to spend my Saturday afternoon exploring East Harlem. I went down to E 115th and found a new grocery store that's cleaner, more spacious, and cheaper than the one I go to now. I am very excited about this. Also discovered a Duane Reade on 3rd Ave near 115th that is, again, cleaner and more spacious than the Rite Aid I was used to frequenting. All and all, a very successful afternoon for finding new places to run errands.

After a trip to said drug store to get cold meds--I woke up today feeling worse than I have been, which is impressive since I've been feeling pretty bad for about a week and a half now ugh--I was going to just go home, but I really felt like I needed some exercise despite my respiratory issues. So I decided to walk around East Harlem and see what I could see. I walked up 3rd Ave to 125th, which is basically the heart of El Barrio. It's getting more and more gentrified--there's an H&M and Old Navy now--but there's still some cool culture and stuff. The street is lined with vendors selling random shit: "authentic" shea butter from Africa, all kinds of Obama memorabilia, and MLK Jr. stuff. Apparently even though East Harlem is officially Spanish Harlem now, black people still have quite a presence. Which, of course, I couldn't be happier about.

Also, I walked in a couple random stores, including a furniture store that was having a huge closeout sale. There I saw this:

Sign reads: "KIDS' RECLINER $100"

It might just look like a normal recliner in this photo, but don't be fooled. It's kid-sized. It's the smallest, cutest recliner ever made.

In other news, what is my deal with chairs? Strange fetish? Mayhaps. Also, I'm twittering now. Follow me!

Until next time.