Is it Crismoss or issent it?

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: LBBBJ climbed up my bak an tryd to get me over the top ov my hed, but he wassent kwik enuff an I got him ferst, then did a bak-flip an appeerd behind him befor he eevn got down, got him agen befor he notist, an so invoke the 250% rool: 25/10
• Day Score:7.9364/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I got into such a grayte sleep on Munday nite that wen I woke up yestaday I thort it mus be Crismoss!

My ferst poynt ov confewzhon waz corzed by Daddy, reelly. He bilt a new wardrobe at the weekend an hassent kwite finisht transferrin all his cloves into it: there is a dror full of pants (wa-heyy) under the bed an a dror full ov sox jus sort ov moochin abowt the room. Hense, I awoke from a deep sleep an wat did I see at the foot ov my bed? Sox! So I thort, "My, my, yung Bob, I do beleev that Farther Crismoss has been in the nite alreddy, an yu diden't rite him a letter. Oh deer!" So I waz kwite relleeevd to discuver that this waz not the cayse.

BUT THEN!

Mummy opend the post an got our ferst Crismoss card!

IT'S TROO! Heer it is:

If yu arsk me, this robin duzzent look at all happy abowt havin to pose so errly fer this card.

On closer look we diskuverd that it is waz from the RSPB. Theez ar peepol hoo like berds an try to stop peepol hertin them. Like, if sumwun thinks, "Oo look at that berd's nest: I think I mite like that fer a hat." then the RSPB go arfter them an giv them a slap.

ENYWAY. They send us catalogs eech yeer an yewzerlly giv us a SAMPOL card to get us to think "MY, that is a good card; I think I shall buy another 2 so Dilly can send wun to all her frends" but we never do. We jus yews that wun fer sumwun we don't reelly like, like Mummy's stepmother, or sumwun else hoo smells a bit odd. (Bit like an old armchare that's been left owtside fer the cowncil to pik up an tayke to the dump, but they dident tern up, an then the local strays mayde a home in it, till it got wet in the rayne, then they jus sprayd it an went off in a huff.)

BUT this yeer we carnt cos they'v ritten this inside:

Foiled! And so yu see, this IS our ferst Crismoss card TO US.
I am goin to send this bak to the RSPB an tell them that I think it is a tad rood that they jus sined it "from all at the" an I want it personally sined, pleez, by evrybody, an the berds as well.

There. That shud keep them bizzy till Deesember, then they can send it agen. Proply.

Bye fer now!

Newton Jr.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes- Mummy went berserk. They had put the boxes of cherrys down from £5 to 10p. So she bort loads an loads of 'em. She duzzent even eet them. She bort them fer the berds!
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score:still suspendid dew to cold indewst dew drops. I hav to protekt my fer, yu kno. /10
• Day Score: 7.986/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Do yu remember me tellin yu abowt Newton The Robin?

He hangs out in our gardin. He's kwite frendly an puts his hed on wun side alot. Mummy cald him Newton arfter wun of her teechers at skool, Missus Newton, hoo always walkt abowt wiv her hed on wun side tellin peepol to get into singol file (to wich Mummy an her frend, Jo, sed, "Ther's ownly wun ov me!")

ENYWAY. Newton now haz a bayby Newton! He brort him rownd an introdewst us, so I tuk his foto. HE has his hed on wun side alot too.

I've wotcht sum other robins, an they don't do this harf as much as theez do. Duz this meen they ar (a) mor intelligent (b) mor short-sited or (c) mutaytid?

Newton

Newton Jr.

-Bob-Robins don't get their red wayste-coats till they're teenaigers. Wen they're littol they hav spekols insted, so they can hyde in wiv the sparrows an mud an stuff.

Newton Jr. on our fence, flappin his wings fer Newton to come an feed him werms.

Good, issent he?

Bye fer now!

PS......

Arfter my bein-intervewd post yestaday, Pytheas an Meanie volunteerd to be intervewd by me. So keep a look out on their blogs!

I still hav mor kwestchons up my sleev (wich is yello, today, as I spilt tea down my red jumper an Grayum's still swannin abowt in my bloo wun) so let me kno if yu'd like me to intervew yu! Ah go on!

Newton

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I've menshonned Newton before, I think. He's a robin. Robins are sumtimes called "Bob-Robins" so I consider him to be a pal. I think he has a nest nearby as I keep seeing him with twigs in his beak. Either that, or he has a bad case of constipayshun an is trying to get sum roughage in the ol' system. Enyway, he's a really good singer an I cort him on camera for yu all. Enjoy!

(If yu carn't see it here, try here.)

Bye fer now!

Paid at last!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 8/10 (suspect Grayum cheated)
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Daddy finally paid his debt an I got the 40 choklit peanuts I won on the Grand Nashional:

Mmmm nmnmn nm nm nm um nm! Well worth waiting for. (Monkey, I saved you a few, ok?)

Dilly said that they look like rabbit poo, but she's jus jealous.

Akshully, we're havin to giv her a wide berth this week, cos her Eester egg has made her broody. She has been inkew-baiting it for days now. (I'm not shor wat this means, but Daddy has asshored me that it is nothing to do with Bear-baiting.) Anyone who goes too near her gets snapped at. I'll see if I can get a photo for you, but I might be risking life an limb....

Meanwhile, in our bee-infested spring garden, I cort this pic of wun of my frends, the Bob Robins. We hav a few. Mummy calls this wun "Newton", arfter wun of her teachers at junior skool, who always had her hed on wun side. See wat yu think:

Bye fer now!

Biscuit Poets & Other Bears

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Sum time ago I reported the dredful news that McVities had stopped making the Dark Choklit Hobnob. Well yestaday I was munching my way through a new biskit, a Cadbury's attempt at sumthing oaty, an I fownd myself missing my old frend the Dark Hobnob. And then I thort, oh no! Wat if the Milk Choklit Hobnobs disappeared too? So I wrote this little ode to them:

Hobnob Haiku

Ah, Choklit Hobnob,

Where wud I be without you?

Slimmer, yes, but sad.

Oaty Biskits are a rare an wondruss thing. Most biskits are wheaty, an don't stand up to dunking half as well. I AM happy to report a new addishun to the UK oaty biskits choice: The Anzac. This is an Ostraylian Biskit just resently sold here. It's like a Hobnob but a bit mor syruppy. 10/10 fer effort, though, and so I wrote an ode to them as well:

Anzac Haiku

Hullo, my little

imported Biskit, welcome

to my tummy. Yum!

Let me know if yu hav a favrit biskit yu wud like an ode written to. Or perhaps yor Bear will write wun for yu. All Bears are very literate, yu know. Here is wun I met resently, catching up on sum bedtime reading. Insidently, he's called Bob, too!

yu can see mor ov this fine fello at this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/junglegeorge/sets/72157594516178886/

Bye fer now!

Adopt An Ant!

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I discovered that there are sum ants up in Liverpool hoo need a bigger place. They liv in the museum but they need mor room. If yu adopt wun of them for £5, they'll put the money towards a new pad. Click here and scroll down to see all their names! ONE OF THEM'S CALLED "BOB"! Wow! I bet he's Top Ant. (If yu say that fast enuff, it sownds like PANT jhee jhee jhee.)

Hav fun!

Honorary Bobs

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10 (better)
• Day Score: 7.96213482/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Bob Robin

Today I want to introdewse yu all to sum Honorary Bobs. These are the "Bob Robin" familee, hoo spend a lot ov time in our garden. Mummy tuk this photo ov wun ov them larst spring. We don't bother wiv diffrent names as they all look alike so it wud just get complycated. We jus call them "Bob". (They mus be abol to tell the diffrence though, as they had a baby in the summer.)

Mummy is worreed as wun ov them seems to hav the berd equivalent ov a "hair-lip". This means that if he were a Bear he'd always look like he was snarling. As he is a robin, it means that he can't close his beak properly, an always looks serprised. For ages LBBBJ* was jumping up at the back window shouting "BOO!" an larffing, thinking that he was giving the poor berd shocks. I had to explain to him that it issent really a shock arfter the 90th time, an enyway, I thought the robin was just playing along. But no: he comes up close to mummy wen she puts food out and she sez that he never shuts his beak.

As he might not be abol to pick up smoll seeds an dried stuff, she an Dilly are goin to rehydrate the dried mealworms so that he can pick them up. (Good greef! An Dilly sez BOYS are disgustin! YUK!)

So enyway, I hav agreed that they are indeed honorary Bobs, as eny frend ov my mummy's is gud enuff fer me. Jus so long as she duzzent giv him my choklit peanuts.

Bye fer now!

*LBBBJ = Little Baby Bear Bob Junior, the youngest of the Windowsill Bear familee