I Was Tagged!

Here goes, for better or for worse....



Where did you meet your husband?

In Las Vegas, at a Family Home Evening of young adults, before there was a program for young adults. He wasn’t a member at the time. A missionary-minded friend he worked with brought him. Can't remember if he was wearing plaid pants or a striped shirt, but I remember the white shoes, and that he was an insurance guy. I wasn’t impressed.


What was the first thing you said to your husband?

I don't remember, but my girlfriends and I were pretty disgruntled when we were asked to take him home that night. We went up to his apartment and learned he was very smart about very many things. Still not impressed.


Where was your first date?

He took all his other dates out to dinner shows on the Las Vegas Strip, but he just hung out at my place.


Where was your first kiss?

Just outside the door of my apartment, which was just through the alley from his apartment.


Did you have a long or short courtship/engagement?

We would have liked a short engagement, but decided to wait the requisite year for a new member so we could be married in the temple. It was actually only a five-month wait by that point, but it seemed like forever.


Where did you get engaged?

Unofficially, sitting on the couch of my apartment. There was no proposal; it just seemed to both of us that we should/would get married. With no engagement ring (I didn’t want a diamond), and no real wedding events to plan, I’m not sure when it became official.


Where were you married?

In the Salt Lake Temple, December 8, in the middle of a blizzard. We drove all night from Nevada to Provo in a snow storm. We, and the snow plows, were the only ones on the road. I learned after we got there that my husband-to-be had never driven in snow before! Many weddings were cancelled that day, and we could easily have cancelled ours, but we selfishly made our families come out in that weather. The next morning it was 4 degrees.


How did your reception go?

We didn’t have one. I didn’t want one. My parents gave us money instead, which ended up going to wedding expenses after all. We got married at night, and went out for a late dinner with my family afterward. I think it was my sister who brought some roses for me. Someone else ran by a bakery and brought a small cake to the dinner. I never picked wedding colors, or a cake, or even a dress. Both sets of parents later held open houses in their respective states, and we agreed to show up.
I wouldn’t have had a wedding dress but my sister surprised me the morning of my wedding with a dress she had made for me! It was simple but cute, and it fit perfectly! I made a copy of it in hot pink and wore that at the open houses.
The only wedding pictures I have are snapshots taken in the outside entryway of the temple in the snowy dark.


How was your honeymoon?

A month long. We always laughed at people who got married, then spent the next day with their family at Lagoon or something, but we did the same thing. We had a day or two that we could be with my out-of-town family, and someone had tickets to a ballgame, so we hung around to be with them. We made a stop at our apartment in Vegas, then traveled down to California, up through Oregon to Washington where we spent Christmas and had an open house. Then we made the same trip back, having Prime Rib and Cheesecake almost every day and doing a little temple hopping. We still have prime rib and cheesecake on our anniversary.

A Good Fit

Today I went to a regional meeting.
It included all the stake presidents and stake Relief Society presidents of our region. It was pretty interesting.

I looked around the room to see what other stake Relief Society presidents looked like. I learned that they all look different. There isn’t a type or ilk or mold they fit in to.

I find it true of ward Relief Society presidents too. They can be any age or size or color or type. It’s true in Primary, Young Women, and every other organization.
The Lord seems to use the rough materials of which we are all made, and he can make diamonds. It can happen to anyone.

There are certain qualifications preferred to work in the Kingdom.
They do not include a nice wardrobe, being skinny, visible talents, or fitting into a mold.
They do include faith, obedience, and a willingness to serve.

We don’t aspire to high callings, but we can and should prepare ourselves for them.


I’m always surprised when I hear a bishop say he loves to be the bishop, or when I see a stake president so willing, humbly and happily, to do all that is required of him, and more. It takes a special person to love a job that takes a ton of time and work, and includes teenagers, finances, and hard problems. It is an awesome thing to see such a gem.


I find comfort in knowing I don’t have to fit into a mold.
My only need is to conform to what the Lord wants for me.

Fit for the kingdom.
That’s the mold I want to fit.

In the Mood

My husband offered to buy me a CTR mood ring.
For no good reason, I accepted.

I didn't need it, and I don't take much stock in their working.

Well, maybe a little more than before.


Much of the time my ring is blue, which means I'm relaxed.

Sometimes it changes to green, which shows I am active.

But one day......

I was in Washington state, which I love, coming out of Tacoma Boys, the local fruit stand that I love, eating a newly-discovered Honey Crisp apple with sharp English cheese that was heaven, and I noticed the ring on my finger was purple! That's the color for love.

Rachel got a CTR mood ring for her baptism. On the afternoon of her baptism, she was floating around the house, carrying her new scriptures in her new little bag that she loved, that was filled with all the goodies people had given her, and her ring was purple. She was feeling the love.

I'm beginning to be a believer.

I don't believe in rabbit feet, taro cards, palm reading, or ouiji boards, but I do believe in feelings. I think they are emotional, but also physical, mental and chemical. I think they affect our internal environment, and external.

David O. McKay taught:
"The only responsibility that a man cannot evade in this life is.. his personal influence. This is simply the constant radiation of what a man really is. Every moment of his life he is changing to a degree the life of the whole world. Every man has an atmosphere which is affecting every other. To exist is to radiate.... to be a recipient of radiation." --William Jordan


When I was a teenager, I tried to be a Stoic. I didn't want anyone to know what was happening inside me by what they saw on the outside. Silly, I know.
Now I love to see the inner self appear on someone's face, or in their body language, in a smile or in jumping for joy!
Now maybe you can tell what I'm feeling by the ring on my finger, and the look on my face.

My ring has not yet turned orange or red or black. Those colors denote being nervous, unsettled or stressed. If it really works, I suppose it will. But I hope not often.

Today my ring borders on purple. I love that Fall is finally creeping in, that they have hired another person at work, and that in a few short weeks I will see my family!

I am loving life.

That's the mood I'm in.

Can you tell?

Take a guess

Fried Green Tomatoes.
Deep-fried Pralines.
Roasted Corn on the Cob
Deep-fried Marshmallows.
Pineapple Whip Ice Cream.


Guess where I've been?



The Texas State Fair.


I could have had deep-fried alligator, deep-fried cookie dough, deep-fried peach cobbler, deep-fried okra, deep-fried turkey legs, deep-fried banana cream pie, deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or deep-fried funnel cake, but I didn't. There's only so much lard a body can handle.

I did have the best corn dog I've ever had.

But, alas, no scone. What is a state fair without Fisher's scones with raspberry jam? A Texas fair, I guess.

The weather was nice, the crowds just right, the music loud, and the midway was, well, a midway. I appreciated the Ferris Wheel a lot more having just read The Devil in the White City about the Chicago world's fair and the first Wheel.

At 18 months (nursery age!) little Kyra couldn't ride anything (thank goodness) but we enjoyed the petting zoo, the usual and the exotic collections of animals, and playing farmer in the children's barn. (Pester Valerie to post pictures of Kyra's first cotton candy.)

I had never been to the Texas fair before. I didn't make it to California's when we lived there. Way back in Washington I "did the Puyallup."

Fairs are noisy and dirty and crummy. They are crowded and expensive and exhausting. But they are full of interesting things and people, and you always learn something, about animals if not people. And about yourself.

I prefer a museum over a fair, a steak over a corn dog, the symphony over blue-grass. But once in a while, it's kind of fun to go where the buffalos roam.

Grass-roots comes to mind. To go to a state fair is to get back to basics, to living off the land, with other living things, and making things by hand. It's about real people, who work hard and take pride in what they do. It's just so ... American.

And where else can you find Dr. Pepper Beef Jerky?

Relief Society Part 6 -- Something Extraordinary

(No, you didn't miss parts 3, 4 and 5. They are forthcoming.)


At the first meeting of the Relief Society, Emma Smith said,
“We are going to do something extraordinary, something really extraordinary.” Could she have known, could she possible have envisioned the destiny of this Society?

Could she have foreseen that this small gathering in an obscure town in a frontier region would spread to all four corners of the earth?
Could she have imagined this small group of twenty would grow to an organization of over five million sisters world-wide?
Could she have known of the increased opportunities for all women for education, political freedom, leadership and personal development that would come?

Who can gauge the effect Relief Society has had on the lives of millions of women whose knowledge has been increased, whose vision has been expanded, whose lives have been broadened and enriched?
Who can count the projects that have been undertaken, and the good that has been done by this society of sisters?
Who can fathom the acts of charity that have been performed, the faith that has been nurtured, the pains that have been eased, the food that has filled barren tables?
Who can measure the effect of this singular and divinely established institution?
Truly the Relief Society has done something extraordinary.

As women have been blessed, they in turn have blessed the lives of others.
A little thing here, a little thing there, as women all over the world
Warm the soup and the home and the heart;
Light a lamp and a mind and a life;
Change a bed and a soul and the world,
In small but important ways, making footprints in the sands of time, leaving a mark in the hearts and minds and lives of all of God’s children.

How vast is our purpose; how broad is our mission:
to cheer and to bless in humanity’s name.
For charity never faileth, and it endureth forever and ever—
Even in the Kingdom of our God, where we will all sit down together,
For we had charity, one for another.

Relief Society Chapter 2 Seasons

My sophomore year in college I was called for the first time to be a Visiting Teacher. My companion was even quieter and more backward than I was.

We were called to teach Sis. Wilkinson. Sister Wilkinson was the wife of Ernest L. Wilkinson, the president of BYU. Sister Wilkinson was a member of the Relief Society General Board. Sister Wilkinson served on the committee that wrote the Visiting Teaching messages.

I learned more from Sis. Wilkinson than she learned from me.


All my life I’ve had friends of all ages, but I particularly appreciate the older, more mature friends that I’ve had, as they’ve taken me under their wings and let me learn from their wisdom and experience. As a young married, it made all the difference in my life. I'm so grateful for people like Karen, Gincy, Glenna, Rosie, Bobbye and others.


I recently visited a ward where I saw a young woman walk over to a very elderly woman. I could see the sparkle in her eyes and the light in her face from across the room. The love and connection between these two sisters was palpable, and you could tell they had spent some quality time together. I thought it was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen.


Marjorie Hinckley said,
“Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. Women need women.”



Relief Society is truly for every season of our lives.

But season is not just a noun; it is also a verb.
We can be the seasoning for others, and they for us --
in all the ages and stages of our lives--
as we expand our circle of friendship.



Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.

Relief Society Part 1 Beginnings

I became a member of Relief Society when I went off to college my freshman year.

Relief Society at that time was at 8:30 am on Sunday morning, a challenge for any college student, but especially for the night owl that I was. I was called to be the chorister, so I had to be there every week, and on time. Every Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed and left my roommates snug in theirs, and went to Relief Society.
I remember our teacher, an elderly lady with kind eyes, who taught us from her fountain of wisdom and faith. I remember feeling that Relief Society was something special. I knew my roommates were really missing out.
I don’t think I felt well a single Sunday morning that year, but I was glad I "had" to go to Relief Society.


I don’t remember when I came across this quote for the first time, but it has always shaped my attitude about Relief Society:

"The program of the Church is the plan of salvation, and Relief Society is a part of that plan. Sisters, it is your duty to attend Relief Society just as it is the duty of the brethren to attend their Priesthood meetings."

"There is something pathetic about those of our sisters who sit at home waiting to be enticed to Relief Society. Some sisters seem to pour over the offering of Relief Society like a fussy diner searching a menu for something to excite the taste. If you are absenting yourself from Relief Society because 'you don't get anything out of it,' tell me, dear sister, what is it that you are putting into it?" (Boyd K. Packer)


Relief Society has changed over the years. I’m old enough to remember The Relief Society Magazine, putting $2 into a special envelope for annual dues, and Homemaking meetings in the middle of the week. We used to have Spring and Fall Socials, bazaars, and lessons on literature, mother education, and other cultures.


But some things don’t change. It is still a place where we find friendship, where we help one other, and where the lives of individuals and families are bettered.

It really is something special.

It is something you wouldn't want to miss.

"Relief Society is not optional! Attend it, contribute to it, devote yourself to it— great blessings await you, now, and forever."
(Boyd K. Packer)

Moving Day

We’re moving!

Oh, not my family. The business where I work.

Last weekend we packed and the guys moved The Stuff.
Today was our first day at our new digs unpacking The Stuff.

Moves always involve change.
I used to work out in the country. We had our own building on privately owned property with cows just outside our windows.
Now we work in town, in a real office space, with Super Walmart right outside our windows.

Three doors down is a chiropractor. That’s very handy after days like today.

Two doors down is Cookies in Bloom, with scrumptious and beautiful cookies - thick sugar cookies with thick frosting. That almost makes it okay. The fact that they have a post office in their store makes it even better. It might even make up for looking at Walmart.

Before we moved in, the space was a design center where new home owners went to pick out their carpet, flooring, tile, etc. for their new house. It makes for a varied and interesting floor.

For the first time I actually have a desk, a large, real desk. Never mind that I have to share it with two other people. I don't sit much at my job anyway.

And we have space, lots and lots of space. Well, for everything but the actual store. We have space for multiple offices and desks, for a showroom and a classroom, for machine storage and repairs, for our big rolls of batting, and even for all the vehicles and trailers we drive. But not for the store. It's a puny little corner of this big, beautiful place. Oh, well. Who needs a store? or a kitchen? or cows out their window?

My drive to work is a little bit shorter, but instead of cruising down the rural freeway I get to sit through traffic lights.

I'll miss the country feel. I'll miss the homeliness of the boss next door. I'll miss leisurely lunches in the roomy kitchen. I'll miss the friendly mail people.

But I won't miss the bugs, or the clutter, or the long walk for batting.


Change always seems messy.

Changes on the outside seem to change you on the inside.

Some changes are for the better; some are not.

But change is good. It shakes things up, makes you re-evaluate, and redefines things. It can steer you to a better path.


With gratitude for what I had, I'll do my best to make the move.

Saturday Night Fever -- Not

Last night about this time I was sitting on the stand in our stake center. I sat by a bishop (who is also a CEO) and we were between the Dallas Temple president and his wife and the Dallas Mission president and his wife. Next to them sat our stake presidency, and not one but two General Authority Seventies. Not bad company for a nobody like me.

I was fulfilling an assignment to speak at the Saturday night adult session of our stake conference. On the morrow they will divide our stake, but for tonight there is a sea of faces that fill our large chapel, the overflow, the entire gym, and the stage. Just the “Amen” to the opening prayer is deafening.

You would think I would be scared to death. I would think I would be scared to death. All those people…..and those important people. But interestingly enough, I wasn’t.

I was worried about what to say, but once I figured that out, the people didn’t bother me at all.


You could chalk that up to my being tired, as I had stayed up half the night before.

I’m sure part of it was because I prayed for peace and calm.

But also, I am learning. This is the Lord’s church, and we are on His errand. It is not about us; it is about Him. And the Lord takes care of His business.
So I’m learning to relax more, to trust that help is near, and to have faith that all will be well.
I wasn’t disappointed.


And it's nice to pretend like I'm a grown-up once in a while.




"Say not, I am a child; for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee. Be not afraid of their faces; for I am with thee. Then the Lord put forth his hand and touched my mouth ..and said, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth." Jeremiah 1:7-9

"Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. D&C 123:17

Day of Rest

I've heard that Sunday should be a day of rest. I think it's a rumor.

Today I had a 7:30 am stake PEC meeting. At 8:30 I spoke in a Spanish ward sacrament meeting, then went straight to a ward conference where I taught Relief Society and conducted a 4th-hour training meeting.

Last Sunday I left the house at 8:15 am to visit three wards, one up in Oklahoma, had training meetings with them, and got home about 5:00. That night I went to bed hours earlier than usual and slept for a solid 11 hours.

Every Sunday isn't like that, but lately most of them have been.

I guess it depends on how you define rest. Were these Sundays physically, mentally or emotionally restful? No. Especially when sandwiched between two full work days.

Sometimes it's rest just to do something different than the norm. Believe me, my Sundays are different.

To "rest in the Lord" is to be free of worldly concerns, to be spiritually uplifted, to be rejuvenated by His Spirit, and to have peace.

In that sense, the Sabbath truly is a day of rest.

Even mine.

Shape the Back to Bear the Burden

I was going through stuff today and found a list I made when I was called to be a ward Relief Society president the first time.
It’s "101 Reasons Why I Can’t Do This Job." (Actually there were only 33.)
There was another list of reasons why I didn’t want the job.
And a third: reasons why I needed to take the job.

A few weeks ago when I was called be to stake Relief Society president, I made similar lists. It’s just something I have to do.

So finding my old list today was interesting. The substance of the “Why I can’t” list hasn’t changed much. But some. Being a RS president changed me more than anything I've done in life. It changed my very personality. Obviously not enough.

The reasons why I don’t want such a job have increased.
I'm older. I'm tired.

But most significantly, the list of reasons why I am willing to take the job got bigger. It is because of the things I learned from the first and second go-around.

This is what I know:

This is without doubt the Lord’s kingdom, and His work, and He is in it.
God lives, and reveals Himself, especially to worthy Priesthood holders.
This Church is run by revelation in every corner, even mine.
Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies. He “shapes the back to bear the burden placed upon it (TS Monson via sweet Jill).”
Perfection comes not in staying home and reading scriptures but in serving our fellow men.
I have been blessed too much and am too indebted to the Lord to refuse Him.
I love the Lord and know that to help His children is the most important and rewarding work of all.

I was set apart last week. It was a powerful and humbling experience.

I finally met today with the outgoing RS President. I felt again like a dumb little kid, and sick to my stomach all day. I felt before, but never more acutely than today, in dire need of help, and that, of myself, I am nothing.

The image that keeps coming to mind and that has gotten me through is that of a yoke.

I feel that a yoke has been put upon me, or that I have willingly stepped into it. That yoke is shared with the Lord and His servants, and as He moves forward, in a straight and steady fashion, sure of where he’s going, not distracted or deterred, we can walk together, our burden lightened by the shared load, to a glorious destination.
I am so grateful I’m not alone.


Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you; For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30

The Party's Over, or We've Only Just Begun

This week I unpacked the last box from the quilt show and for me the "show season" is officially over. I thought life would be easier. Wrong again. I didn't even get to heave a sigh of relief.


Tomorrow night I will officially be set apart to be the stake Relief Society president. We've already had our first presidency meeting this week.

(My brother told me that his stake RS president is Anne Madsen, the wife of Truman G. Madsen. Was that supposed to make me feel better?? He said I was in good company.)



There seems to be a lot of changes happening in my life right now.

I went to church in a new ward last Sunday. They moved our neighborhood again into a different ward. From our little neighborhood my old ward lost their RS pres and counselor, the Primary president, and the ward clerk. That’s some neighbors I have, huh?
My new ward is small but includes the stake YW pres, now the stake RS president, the just-released stake Primary president, the stake YM Secretary, 2 high councilors, and several stake seminary teachers . Especially for a stake with 17 units, that’s a pretty high concentration. Some ward I’m in, huh?


Today I had a farewell lunch with the stake YW presidency that I've been serving with. I have loved them and learned so much. The president said the saddest thing she had to do all week was take my name off her YW e-mail list, but this last get-together was saddest for me.


For the first time in my married life I have someone coming in to clean house for me. I've always said I'll feel like I have it made when someone else cleans my house. Do I feel like I have it made? Not in the least. It's a limited cleaning, but it frees me up to have book club and study group and presidency meetings and do all I have to do with less stress, and it makes my husband happy.


We've been in a drought so long that torrential rains have caused severe flooding, destroying hundreds of homes and 5 lives; people are still missing. One county alone had 75% of the corn and wheat crops damaged, and $27 million in property damage. Part of that area is in our stake. Oh, wait, isn't the stake Relief Society president supposed to do something about that???


Guess I better go read my handbook, and my book club book, and my scriptures and my Ensign and the newspaper and my e-mail and 5 years of World-Wide Training books and -- yikes! what am I doing sitting here? I gotta go.....




Be of good cheer.

The kingdom is yours and the blessings there of, and the riches of eternity.

And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious.

And he that is a faithful and wise steward shall inherit all things. D&C 78

From the Frying Pan into the Fire

I was finally released from my calling in the stake YW.

I was happy about that---for about 2 seconds. Then I was called to be the Stake Relief Society President! I was so stunned I couldn’t even respond to the Stake President.
The fact that I had absolutely no premonition about this ought to be evidence that I’m not the one for this job.
I already have 10 pages of journal writings about my roller coaster ride of the past few weeks, most of it spent in abject mortification.


However, it didn’t take me long to realize, that though I may not want it, it is a great gift that is being given me:

• the gift to be better than I am,
• to get outside of myself and be useful,
• to make a lot of great new friends,
• to associate with the best people in our stake, and
• to open the door to the inspiration and blessings of God, for me and my family.

How can you turn down such gifts?


Today I was sustained, and no one objected.

Recently I was led to these words that Jesus spoke:

I do nothing but what I see my Father do.
I do nothing but what my Father taught me.
I speak only that which my Father has told me to speak.
I do only those things which please my Father.
I am in Him and He is in Me; we are one.

I’m not like the Savior or have the same mission, but, like Him, I am a child of the same Heavenly Father, and have been given a mission to perform. Like my Older Brother, it’s not about me, but about the Father’s work. We are on His errand.

No one knows better than I, that I am nothing without Him.

But I know a little of what the Father can make of us.

I hope I can be a good errand boy, a pencil in his hand, an instrument through which he can work to accomplish his purposes.

I hope that as I come more fully unto Christ, that with his help I might be of some help to others.

I hope, as Marion G. Romney once said, that I don't do more harm than good.

Wish me luck.

All prayers accepted.

Stormy Weather

I came home from work early today because we're having yet another storm and we lost all power.

We've had three major storms in the past month. According to the newspaper:
April 13: at least 4 tornadoes and widespread hail caused $100 million in damages.
April 24: Widespread flooding and tornado caused almost $10 million in damages.
May 2: Straight-line winds caused an estimated $75 million in damages.

Luckily my neighborhood was spared any significant damage.

It has been forecasted that in the near future Texas will have conditions similar to the great Dust Bowl in Oklahoma, and that it will be a permanent situation.

We won't soon forget the hurricanes of the last few years, or fail to notice the proven increase of earthquakes.

It makes me wonder about The Last Days. Will we all go merrily along thinking that these things are just natural occurrences, or will we have spiritual eyes to see them as Signs of the Times?

I also wonder if these events really do bring people closer to God, or not?


I can't do anything about all those other people, but I can wonder about myself.

I wonder if I don't need a few more storms to really turn my heart.

Over the Hump(s)

I'm finally over most of the humps of what has turned out to be the busiest spring of my life. Youth Conference is over, and the other stake events, and most of our quilting shows.
I'm not out of the woods yet, as our biggest quilting show is just a month away, my work hours and load will increase dramatically next week, and I've decided to head up our RS Enrichment study group. But for now I can take a breath. I don't know when my mind will clear enough to really blog again, but I wanted to check in.

I am always amazed at how utterly distracted we can get from eternal things as we bog down in daily demands. We so easily get caught in the thick of thin things. How quickly we forget.
Luckily for me, many of my activities were church-related, and in that process I had some great spiritual experiences, which do much to help me remember and stay on track. What a blessing that is.

So this week I will try to clear the clutter from my projects, watch a couple of movies to clear my mind, and get some rest. I'll be back, if not this week, then in another month.

Easter and the Temple

There’s been a few Easter Sundays in my life when I wrote the Easter program or was the main speaker, so I was immersed for weeks in the Easter story. It is a glorious and enriching experience. This year I hardly remembered it was Easter.

Instead, I have been preparing to lead a discussion in our RS study group this week on understanding the temple. So on this Easter Sunday I thought about the connection between the temple and the Savior.

When Jesus died, the veil of the temple was rent, signifying that the Holy of Holies, the hope of entering into God's presence, was now open and available to all men--because of Him.

That's why it is the temple and not the cross that is the symbol of our Church membership.

Today we ponder His atoning sacrifice, his suffering, and his triumph over death that bring us life. But it is his power and his priesthood, the blessings and glories of the temple, that bring us Life Eternal, back into the presence of God.

I think that alone deserves a Hosannah shout!

From the Rooftop

“Their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed.” D&C 1:3

I don’t understand why people willfully sin, because it seems like every time I make a mistake it gets shouted from the rooftops. Some little imp sees every little slip I make, grabs a megaphone, runs to the roof, and shouts it to the world.

That happened to me again. I had a normal, casual conversation with someone this week, and then this conversation turns up on an internet newsletter that goes to all the sisters in the biggest ward in our stake—not even my ward! It came across as an announcement from me, and quoted me several times.
I’ll admit I probably shouldn’t have been blabbing about this subject, but no one would consider it abnormal or inappropriate given the privacy of the situation. How does this happen?
It’s the little imp.

I don’t need the threat of jail, or of a fine, or even of ending up in the newspapers to keep me honest. Even Hell doesn’t scare me.
I know that whatever I do, however private or hidden I think a thing is, it never is. And even if it is hidden from the world for a time, Someone knows. And I know.


I’ll try harder to remember the proverb:
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Prov. 21:23


Meanwhile, don’t kill the imp. He’s just the messenger.

Testimony

What a glorious General Conference! Manna from heaven, for sure.
I have other things I need to do, but by way of letting you know I am alive and well, I will leave you the brief testimony I bore last week, nothing extraordinary, but how I felt:


When I was younger my sisters and I used to talk about the fact that we knew God heard and answered prayers—for other people. We weren’t so sure about ours. The past couple of weeks I’ve had occasion to think about the times and the particular ways the Lord has answered my prayers. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that our prayers are heard and answered, even mine. And I love Heavenly Father so much for that—for being aware of our very thoughts and feelings, our desires and our needs, and for caring about them, and responding to them in very individual ways. I don’t know how to thank Him for that. I hope that by sharing my love and testimony today my gratitude to Him might be magnified.

I know that Jesus Christ is His Only Begotten Son, the Savior and Redeemer of mankind. I know that He is my Savior as He saves me from hopelessness and despair. I love Him for that, for all He has done and is doing and will do for my personal happiness, and yours.

I have tender feelings about Joseph Smith and the part he played in the restoration of the gospel. I have no doubt at all that this is the Lord’s Kingdom, that this is His work we are involved in. Every day of my life I am grateful to live in a time and place where we can enjoy the fullness of the blessings of the gospel and of the Church.

I have no words to express my gratitude for the Holy Spirit, that bears witness to the truth of these things, that guides and directs us and keeps us on the path that will lead us to our fondest dream, that of returning to that Heavenly Father who loves us so much and so well, of Whom I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ.




"To write the love of God ... would drain the ocean, though the sea was ink, and the earth paper and every stick a pen and every man a scribe. When I try to praise Him in beauty, honor and magnify the name of God, I find I have no language at my command that will do justice to the case, but when I lay aside this weak, frail body I expect to praise Him in beauty and holiness." --Sarah Studevant Leavitt


"...because of the love which he has to my testimony I, the Lord, love him."
Doctrine & Covenants 124:20

thanks..and thanks...and thanks

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in church reflecting on the times and the very particular ways that the Lord has answered my prayers in my lifetime, and most especially lately. I also realized I have been in this ward for over a year now and have yet to bear my testimony. So I felt a desire to be given the words and the Spirit to acknowledge the Lord’s love and bear my testimony of Him on Fast Sunday.

This past week I worked about 60 hours instead of my usual 20, didn’t have a single day off, wasn’t home a single night, never had a regular dinner, and the milk in my fridge is sour it’s been so long since I’ve been to a grocery. I’m exhausted.

I dragged in late to sacrament meeting this morning, missed the sacrament, and plopped in my pew expecting to rest. As testimonies began, I realized that the theme that was developing was --could it be?--receiving answers to prayers. Hmm. and then I got that you-have-to-bear-your-testimony feeling from head to toe.

“No!” I thought. “Not today! I’m so tired. I'm just not ready. And I truly don’t deserve it."

But, wait, I asked for this, didn’t I? It couldn’t have been more clear to me that the Lord was directly and specifically answering that prayer uttered in my heart weeks before.
It was a very busy testimony day—no quiet times that needed to be filled; I had to fight for a place in line. But I couldn’t NOT bear my testimony now, could I? With heartfelt gratitude, I did.


A testimony was borne by a sister who just returned from Utah where her son got married. She was not at all happy about this girl or this marriage. When she went to pick up a rental car, the agent, in their casual conversation, delivered a message to her of forgiveness in a way that when she stood next to her son and his fiancé in that special circle in the temple, she was cleansed of all hard feelings. She bore testimony, as did I and others, of the lovingkindness of a Heavenly Father, and of the angels of mercy he sends to us.



I don't know how to thank Him, for what He does for me, and for you.

There are no words sufficient.

Just thanks, and thanks, and thanks, --

and more...









“Write [thy] blessed name, O Lord, upon my heart
there to remain so indelibly engraved
than no prosperity or adversity
shall ever move me from thy love.”
Thomas a Kempis 1500 A.D.

What, me worry?

I think I am officially stressed.

That may not sound unusual, but for me it is.
It is a rare event.



People ask me why I don’t stress, or how not to, and this is the speech I give them:

1. Stress doesn’t usually change the situation that is stressing you. Whether or not you are stressed, the situation is the same. So why do that to yourself? If stress will help the situation, then by all means stress your little heart out, but usually stress does not make it better; it makes it worse for you and those around you.

2. Stress is something we do to ourselves. It is what we tell ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves we’re stressed, what if we changed our self-talk? What if we said things like, I can do this, I can handle this, this is not that big of a deal? It would be so much kinder, more productive and easier on our adrenaline system.

3. You can only do what you can do right now. You cannot act in the future or for people you can't do anything about. You can only do what you can in the moment. With foresight for the future, deal only with present.

4. I believe God will give us strength, but not for unnecessary or excessive worry. I don’t personally have the energy to always be stressed, and it gives me a stomach ache.

5. This too shall pass, and probably some good will come of it. Have faith in God, in yourself, and in the process of life. It will be okay. If not, when the time comes, well, worry about it then.


So, why don’t I take my own advice?
1. The one thing that does stress me is to be asked to do something that I feel I don’t have the ability or talent to do, made worse when there's not enough time to work it out, and it has to be done in front of other people. I have several of those things on my plate right now.
2. Sometimes the demands of life and pressures of time really can be overwhelming. It's almost enough to turn me to chocolate.

But not to worry. I'm taking my own advice, doing what I can do, and having faith for the rest in its own due time. All is well.

Oh, one more thing:

There is a Helping Hand. Put your hand in His.

That is my best advice of all.

Passport to Perfection

I was asked on Saturday night to pinch-hit for the Relief Society teacher on Sunday. I didn't want to do it because I didn't have the usual 100 hours that I like to prepare, and it would be the first time teaching in my new ward. But I agreed, and for my small sacrifice of time and willingness, I was richly rewarded.

I was downright giddy when I got my first passport last year. For me it opened up whole new vistas of places I could go, things I could see, experiences I might have.

In dreaming of places you'd like to go, of things you want to see and experience, do you ever think of destinations that are not geographical, but spiritual? Are there places you would like to go spiritually, things you'd like to see and experience that you haven't yet?

The passport to those places, according to President Spencer W. Kimball, is prayer.


In addition to the glorious knowledge that God lives, that we can communicate with Him, and that He will respond to us, there are blessings that come to us through the very process of prayer:

When we thank God for our blessings, we become more grateful, more mindful of our need for Him.
When we pray for loved ones and friends, we become more charitable, more apt to help.
When we pray for forgiveness, we become more repentant, more changed.
When we pray "Thy will be done," we become more submissive, humble, patient.
When we pray for missionaries, our own desires to do the work increase.
When we pray often, asking for help, we are kept from sin.

Prayer is not an optional activity for saints.
The very process of prayer aids us on the road to perfection.
The Lord's help we seek will see us through.


I think I've always believed that God hears and answers prayers. There is surely ample evidence.
But I have not always believed that He would hear and answer mine.
Now, when I think of the times and particular ways He has answered me, I feel such overwhelming gratitude for the tender mercies of Him to whom we pray.

One of Spencer Kimball's mottos was, Lengthen Your Stride.
Even kneeling, it applies.
Whatever level you are at with your prayers, there is higher ground to go to. There are spiritual places to go, miracles yet to be seen, experiences yet to be had. The passport to these places is earnest and sincere prayer.

So, fellow sojourners, pilgrims on a journey far from home--but not left alone--I bid you, "Bon Voyage!"

Have a good journey.

Go with God.

Seedlings

One Sunday when I was in high school, I was lying on the living room floor reading through a Christmas cantata the ward choir was singing that year. There began to form in my mind words for a narration for the cantata. I was surprised, but thought little of it and did nothing.

As a newlywed, some older women in my ward asked me to join them in writing and producing programs for the ward. Wherever would they get the idea that I could write or perform anything?

Years later I found a poem I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old. I was surprised at my use of word play, even then.

I still do not think of myself as a writer, but over the years of my life I have written a few programs, speeches, silly word plays, and even poetry. I did not know it was in me; I simply did what I was asked to do.


It has made me wonder what seeds are in each of us that may go unrecognized, that with time, experience and opportunity, might blossom into something bigger and grander than we can imagine?

We might hold seeds of talents untouched. We might hold seeds of personality traits undeveloped. Who can know what a grand and glorious person we could become? or what possibilities lie within us?

C.S. Lewis wrote,
“There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.”




Do you ever wonder, who are you really?

And what might you become?

Change in Pressure

To Be Constant

When I was growing up, my father had a barometer hanging on his bedroom wall. A barometer measures the changes in external air pressure, predicting weather changes, and it helped Dad know if it was a good day to fly his small aircraft.

I was always fascinated with this instrument. I have since wondered if we aren't sometimes like a barometer, and change with the pressures outside ourselves. I hear a lot of talk about 'peer pressure' as if it's a given. I never felt slave to it, choosing instead to follow an internal compass, but know that we are affected a great deal by the climate around us.

I like to think about those for whom the external pressure changed drastically, and yet they were constant: Adam, Abraham, Job, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Joseph Smith, Joseph F. Smith (“true blue, through and through”), and Sir Thomas More, to name a few.

Robert Bolt, in my favorite play A Man For All Seasons, describes the self as “an equivocal commodity.” His main character, Sir Thomas More, says: “We speak of being anchored to our principles. But if the weather turns nasty you up with an anchor, let it down where there’s less wind, and the fishing’s better. And ‘look,' we say, 'look, I’m anchored.'”

Sir Thomas More didn't move his anchor when the tides and winds changed, and was executed because of it when he refused to utter the words that would have saved his life but were contrary to his beliefs.

The moral climate of the world has changed a great deal in my lifetime. Sometimes it can change in a moment.

One virtue we seldom hear about any more is constancy, the quality of staying true to one's self and one's beliefs no matter the pressures outside.

I suspect it's a virtue the Lord values.



“We do not have to live, but we must be true to ourselves and God.”

Integrity, the Crowning Jewel

If I were to choose a favorite Young Women value, it would be integrity. And not just because I like the color purple.

Integrity. Integrate. Integral. Integer --to be whole or complete.

In all of us, there is a gap between what we know and what we do. The gap can be small or large, depending on the person or the issue. To me, that gap, or break in the wholeness, is a lack of integrity.

Have you ever found yourself saying, "I know I should do that, but...." ? That's a sure sign of a gap. Sometimes we feel guilty about that gap; sometimes we don't. Sometimes guilt leads us to do something about that gap; sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we don't even recognize the gap.

Jesus came to earth to accomplish the Atonement, the at-one-ment, to help us bridge the gaps and become whole, or perfect. When we integrate the values, principles and attributes of perfection, when we do that which we know to do, then we come together in a whole and complete, or perfected being. We can’t do that completely on our own or in this life, but we can try.


When the Primary song, "I Am a Child of God" was first written, the chorus said, 'Teach me all that I must know to live with Him someday."
Spencer W. Kimball asked that it be changed to "Teach me all that I must do," as a reminder that it's not enough to know.
It has since been suggested that we change it again, to "Teach me all that I must be," to teach us that we must, on the inside and out, be, as Jesus taught, "Even as I Am."

To be honest with ourselves, with others, and with God --
to live as we know, --that is integrity.

To rephrase an old saying,
There are many tools of perfection,
but integrity is the handle of them all.




"Do not write a check with your tongue that your actions cannot cash." Neal A. Maxwell

Prayer; It's the Real Thing

There was a movie in the 1970's called "Oh, God!" starring George Burns as God. He appeared to a mortal (John Denver) and wanted him to tell the world that he, God, was alive and well.
One of the questions he was asked was, "Do you listen to everyone's prayers?"
His answer was something like, "Oh, no, just the ones that mean it."

There is a difference between saying a prayer and praying.
I thought it made sense that God heard only the ones we really mean, the ones prayed "with all energy of heart."

I was surprised when a teacher once asked, "When you pray, do you expect an answer?" At the time, my honest answer was, No, I don't think I do.

Fast forward a few years to a quote I found:
"There is not a single prayer offered by young or by old, offered in times past or in the present, or ever will be offered by any of Heavenly Father's children, that will not be heard and answered in the due time of the Lord." (Author Unknown)


I don't pretend to know how prayer works, but it has ceased to be a stumbling block to me. I'm glad that I've lived long enough to learn that prayers are heard, and answered, --even mine, and that at any given moment we have a Father in heaven anxious to hear from us.

I love what Julie Wang, a convert from Taiwan said.
She said, "I pray like this. I say, 'Hello, God, this is Julie Wang.'
Then I wait, and He says, 'Hello, Julie.'"


It's nice to know there's Someone on the other end of the line.




No time for God?
What fools we are,
To clutter up our lives with common things,
And leave without the Lord of Life.

Take time for God,
Or a poor misshapen thing you'll be
To step into Eternity and say,
'I had no time for Thee.'"
Anonymous

Tagged

When I realized the list was six things, not four, I about gave up.
I don't think I could do a "100 Things about Me" list!

Without a lot of thought, here goes:

Six Weird Things about Me:

1. I eat rice cakes in bed at night, and if I still can't sleep I have hot apple cider and buttered graham crackers.
2. I don't like to be called "Mrs. Sauter" because I feel like I'm not old enough.
3. I prefer to wash my hair in the sink, not the shower or bathtub.
4. I feel like I'm in the same mood almost all the time.
5. I always wait until the last minute to buy a birthday present.
6. I love mellowcreme pumpkins and think chocolate ruins everything.

(Does admitting I can't ever remember how to spell "weird" count?
Also, I like peanut butter toast with Miracle Whip.)


Six Things that Make Me Happy (right now):

1. Brownies
2. Going places I've never been.
3. Falling asleep on the couch after work.
4. Seeing my grown children be friends.
5. The last 50 pages of a good book.
6. Studying up on a topic.

And, of course, blogging--when I'm in the mood.

I did it!

Don't make me deaf with your thunderous applause, please.

The Grass IS Greener

Thoughts on my return home:

Florida is skinny.
It takes 2 hours to cross the state; it takes 2 days to cross Texas.

Florida is green.
Texas is brown.

Florida is flat.
Texas is too, but Florida is lush and beautiful.

Florida has lots of water -- seas, gulfs, lakes, bays, inlets, waterways, rivers, everglades, etc.
Texas has a few ugly man-made lakes.

Texas is bordered on one side by the Gulf of Mexico.
Florida is too, but surrounded by the beautiful Atlantic Ocean on the other.

I think there might be more yachts in Florida than there are longhorns in Texas.

My skin loves Florida, but my hair hates it.


I was happy when I lived in Las Vegas, until I drove out of the city. When I realized I was living in a desolate desert, I’d ask myself, Why am I living here?
I’m happy enough living in Texas, but when I saw Florida, I asked myself again, Why am I living here?
Sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side.


In Florida we experienced the four theme parks, resorts and Downtown of Walt Disney World, saw Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center, rode airboats through the Everglades and water taxis through city canals, drove the amazing Florida Keys, 25 degrees from the equator, ate alligator and papaya, saw beach after beach, water park after amusement park, and fun thing after fun thing to see and do.
There’s very little to do in Texas.

If we had kids traveling with us, they would have been endlessly entertained just in the car by counting the number of toll booths on the turnpikes, of license plates from all different states, of foreign languages heard and people met from Canada, alligators and egrets, and even by playing the alphabet game since Florida seems adept at getting those hard letters on their license plates.



Alas, I am home again in Texas.
The grass isn’t green, but it’s home.
And I got to cross a few things off my list of Things I Want to See or Do Before I Die.


Maybe you are green with envy.
Maybe someday you will get to go to Florida, where the grass is green.

I certainly hope so. It's a beautiful and fun place to go--that is, when there's not a hurricane.

TTFN

The Travel Bug has bitten and I'm off again. This time for Florida for two weeks and for my very first time. We will do Disney World, visit my long-lost brother-in-law, and drive through the Everglades to Key West. I'm stoked.

Whenever my sister-in-law would leave on one of her many trips, she would leave a note on her fridge telling her children that if anything happened to her, to be sure they got married in the temple. Well, her children, and mine who are married, are all married in the temple. I wonder what she says to them now.

Whether we travel across the country or across town, something could happen to any one of us at any time. What message would we like to leave our loved ones?

I would want to leave a note so my children would know that the Gospel is the most important thing in life, and it is worth every sacrifice in giving it your all.

I do have a sign on my fridge. It says, "You can't fire the cook; slaves must be sold."

No, not that one. It says "Let there be No Empty Chairs in our Heavenly Home."

It would be my hope that my children would be clean and dressed, spotless and in white, and present to share in that heavenly feast.


So, TTFN (ta ta for now), and I hope to see you soon.

If not, then I'll be holding your seat at the table!

Standards

We just had our stake Young Women basketball tournament. I’m always surprised how many girls come out to play basketball. It’s a sport I have never enjoyed playing; I don’t think any of my girls liked it either.

Maybe I would have like it better if they lowered the standard so I could make more baskets. It was just too high. I have since learned that they almost never lower the standard for any age or circumstance. It is called a standard for a reason: because it is always set at a standard height.

I like that word “standard”. It reminds me of the standards we are supposed to be living. We wish those standards could be lowered to a level that is easier to reach. But those standards never change—not for any age or circumstance. They are Celestial standards; they are God's standards. It is not meant for them to come down to us; it is for us to come up to them.


I love the promises given in the pamphlet, For the Strength of YOUth, to those who try to live the standards:

▪ You will be able to do your life’s work with greater wisdom and skill.
▪ You will feel good about your self.
▪ You will be a positive influence in the lives of others.
▪ Your opportunities and strength will be increased.
▪ Your vision will be expanded.
▪ The Lord will make much more out of your life than you can by yourself.
▪ He will give you the help you need to meet your trials and challenges.
▪ You will have the help of the Holy Ghost.
▪ You will find true joy as you come to know the Lord and feel His love for you.
▪ You will build the Kingdom of God and prepare the world for the Second Coming.


Are the standards set too high?

I don’t think so.

Look at what points we can score.

Look at the Game we can win.


It will take some practice, and some high reaching,

but I’m ready to play.



A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
Robert Browning

Bite-Size Lessons

Today I came across a children’s book called COOKIES - Bite-Size Life Lessons — a book that uses cookies to teach virtues!

I don’t know what I would have thought if I hadn’t chosen the word "Virtues" to focus on this year, but because I did, I thought this book was written just for me.

Here’s a few examples from the book by Amy Krouse Rosenthal:

COOPERATION means “How about you add the chips while I stir?”
PATIENT means waiting and waiting for the cookies to be done. "Aren't I waiting so nicely?"
MODEST means you don’t run around telling everyone you make the best cookies, even if you do.
RESPECT means offering the very first cookie to your grandmother.
PESSIMIST means “How awful how absolutely dreadful I have only half my cookie left."
OPTIMISTIC means “This is great – I still have half my cookie left."
ENVY means “I can’t stop looking at your cookie – it looks better than my cookie. Boy, I wish it were mine."
TRUSTWORTHY means "If you ask me to hold your cookie until you come back, when you come back, I will still be holding your cookie."
COURAGE means "It was not easy for me to tell you that I took the cookie, but I took a deep breath . . .and made the words come out."
WISE means “I used to think I knew everything about cookies, but now I realize I know about one teeny chip’s worth.”

Aren't those great, simple bite-sized lessons anyone can learn?

Why, then, is it so difficult to do?

I've found that as I have pondered and tried to implement virtues more consistently in my life, the word that keeps coming to my mind is discipline. Our natural self wants to be selfish, mean, envious and lazy, and it’s hard work to do the opposite. It takes great discipline to be virtuous!

From the same root word comes discipline and disciple. And isn’t that what we are trying to do in being virtuous, to be a disciple of Christ? --To follow Him, to be like Him, so we can live with Him? For a mere mortal, it isn't easy.

Discipline is a virtue in and of itself, but without it there is no virtue at all.

That's my bite-size lesson for today.


Now I think I'll go have a cookie.



I'm trying to be like Jesus. I'm following in His way.
I'm trying to love as He loved, in all that I do and say.

Will We Know Him?

During a recent Sunday School lesson on the birth of the Savior, I wondered anew: if I had lived at the time of Christ, would I have known who He was?

I'm always a bit unsettled by the popular fictional story of two men who are interviewed about what they know of Jesus Christ, and when a third man is called in, he falls to his knees, recognizing that the interviewer is Jesus.

I've taken some comfort in the thought that if we recognize Him as the Savior now, we probably would have then.

Until today.

My institute teacher suggested that though most members of the Church believe Jesus is the Christ, few really know Him. I fear he's right. I fear lest I be one of them.

As an example, we read Third Nephi 11, where the Risen Christ appears to the prophet-heeding, temple-attending, spared righteous Nephites in America.

Note:

• After many signs and wonders, there was a voice from heaven. The people didn't understand it until the third time the unknown voice spoke.
• They saw a Man descending out of heaven; they didn't know who it was.
• Jesus identified Himself, and they fell to the earth, for whatever reason.
• He invited each one to feel the nailprints in His hands. Only then did they truly believe it was Him.
• Only then did they shout "Hosannah" which means, God save us now. Did they not understand He had already saved them?

Again, if I had lived then, would I have known Him?


It has been said that this event portends the Lord's Second Coming.

I have to wonder again, will I know Him when He comes?


And, how can I come to know Him now?


And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God,
and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. John 17:3

First Anniversary

I cannot let the day end without acknowledging that it's my anniversary. One year ago today my blog was born. Happy Birthday, Blog!


Just for fun, I thought I'd recap my past year, in no particular order:

I wrote 110 blogs.
I got put into a new ward.
I served in the stake Young Women for 16 units spreading into Oklahoma.
I made more money this year than ever before in this job.
I got out of debt, and have kept a tight rein on it.
I helped open a new store for the first time.
I finally got to see Phantom of the Opera on stage.
I worked quilt shows in Utah, Washington, Kansas and Texas.
I became a grandmother for the 9th time.
I got an iPod.
I did a handspring.
I went to a high school reunion for the first time.
I got my first X-Box so I could play DDR.
I learned I have high cholesterol, after being low all my life.
I got my first passport.
I took my first cruise, to places I've never been.
It was the first time my 8 children and their spouses but not their kids got together just for fun.
I went parasailing.
I went to Hawaii where I rode my first helicopter, catamaran, and kayak.
I had my first Christmas morning with no children at home.
I made some new blogging friends.
I reconnected with some very old friends.

Things I did NOT do:
Clean a single closet.
Empty a single box.
Find myself.

But I did a lot of fun things, had a lot of firsts, enjoyed my family, counted my blessings, and got to blog about some of it.

All in all, it was a very good year.

Who can find....?

I am intrigued by Michelle/Ali/Jenn’s idea of choosing one word to focus on this year. I like the idea that instead of working towards (failing at) a goal, you can look to making some progress.


I serve in Young Women and the Mutual theme this year is:
“…let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly…”
We usually think of virtue as chastity, but there are many virtues that make up a good and moral character.


While yet a young man, Benjamin Franklin made a list of thirteen virtues that he felt were an important guide for living. He wrote each virtue on a page in a small book that he kept with him most of his life. He would select one virtue to focus on each week, but every day he checked the entire list to see how he was doing.


When the Lord asks us to let virtue garnish our thoughts unceasingly, surely he meant for all good things to be in our minds and in our hearts continually. Ben Franklin came close to what the Lord had in mind in thinking about virtues every day, and of having a plan to improve them in his life.

President Hinckley has said,
"You may not be a genius. But you can be good, and you can try."


The word I will have on my mind this year is

Virtues

Maybe that is more than one word. There are many virtues. I've already made a very long list.


Holy writ asks, "Who can find a virtuous woman?"

I hope I can answer, "Right here."


In the hour since I’ve made this decision, I’ve already hit the wall several times and seen how far I am from any ideal or perfection in any virtue. Maybe it will be a year of just magnifying my faults.

Hopefully awareness will lead to improvement.

Certainly trying is a virtue.



If there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report, we will seek after these things.

Funerals

Today I went to a funeral. I'm one of those odd ducks that likes funerals. For me it makes it all very real: life, and death.

I heard once that until you face death as a reality--that it really really will happen-- you don't know how to live.
I tried it, and "they" were right. It put into focus for me those things that matter, and those things that really don't.
It is a focus that quickly and easily blurs or fades. We need funerals and weekly sermons to help us get our focus back.

At every funeral a picture is painted of the life of the deceased.
I often wonder if that person could come back and give a rebuttal, what things they would correct, or add, or what emphasis they would change. Unless we write our own eulogy, we don't get to do that.

Most people don't know our inner thoughts, our dreams, our hopes, our wishes. They don't know what we wanted to do but didn't, or what we wished our life could have been. The only thing we leave for people to talk about is what we actually did. I'd rather be known for my good intentions, but that isn't what obituaries are made of.

I sometimes wonder what people will say about me at my funeral. But I don't worry about it.
It seems that no matter how mean you were, or how much of a bum you were, they always find something nice to say.
I heard a guy at his grandmother's funeral pray, God, you'll have your hands full with her. Wasn't that a nice way of saying it?


It's trite but true, most of us don't get out of here alive.

And we really truly don't take much with us.

We won't need a swimming suit or sunscreen for this journey.

I hope we pack what matters.

Stay-at-home Moms

Staying home with small children is often considered a low point in life. We feel slovenly and wasted and unimportant. It's a stage we wish would pass quickly so we can get on with real life.

From my perspective, it is one of the best stages of life, and it makes me sad that so many mothers don't enjoy it while they're in it.

So I started a list of Good Things about Being Home with Kids.
It's a first draft, not polished or complete or even well thought-out, but I'm putting it out there for others to debate or add to.
Feel free. It's a work in progress.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT BEING HOME WITH KIDS

1. You get to be the queen of your own domain, to set up your castle and make the rules, and have loyal, if loud and messy, subjects.
2. Your kids will never be cuter, or more forgiveable.
3. Your kids think you know everything (you will get dumber with age) and that you can fix and do anything.
4. You may be exhausted and dowdy, but you can handle things--referee the fights, heal the wounds, fix broken toys and hearts, etc.
5. Little children are easy to please.
6. You are bigger than they are, so you win.
7. If you think they don’t listen to you now, wait until they’re teenagers.
8. You will never be smarter or wiser, in their eyes or yours.
9. You can put penny candy and dollar junk in their Christmas stockings and they’ll be delighted.
10. You usually know where they are, unless you take them somewhere (except Angela).
11. They may be expensive, but they’ll never be cheaper to feed, clothe or entertain.
12. You can pick them up, hug them tight, hold them on your lap, and even tickle them.
13. They laugh with their whole body.
14. Their eyes light up.
15. They believe what you say.
16. They are reason to buy the newest cold cereal.
17. You are everything to them; soon enough you will be a cipher in the snow, the gum on the bottom of a shoe, so low you will have to look up to see the ground.
18. They leap out of bed in the morning and do much more than be a couch potato.
19. They get excited about things.
20. They’re not too cool to try things.
21. They’ll eat mac and cheese and hot dogs and pbj's and fish sticks.
22. Holidays are way more fun.
23. It takes a lot of their little clothes to make a load of wash.
24. They’re easily entertained.
25. They give you kisses and let you kiss them.
26. You can say no to things you don't want to do b/c of the kids.
27. You are a better person because you have to set the example.
28. You don't have someone else telling you when and what to do, and keeping you from the park or the pool or roller-skating or nothing at all.
29. You get the privilege of living your life for something outside yourself, for others.
30. It's just more fun than just about any other job.

A Piece of Quiet

My new 2007 Mary Engelbreit calendar is called A Piece of Quiet,
and it has quotes each month about rest, repose and relaxation.
I wonder if it could be possible this year.
I thought when my children left home my life would be quiet.
Last year was my busiest year yet, even after two daughters’ weddings the year before.

What kept me so busy?

Work. The business is getting more demanding, but we’re not hiring more people. We opened a new store in Utah for which I did much of the planning, ordering, packing, setting up, and getting it up and running. I worked shows in Kansas, Salt Lake City, Seattle, and Houston—some of the hardest work I’ve done.

Travel. In addition to shows, I was lucky enough to travel to Utah a couple of times, to Hawaii, and on a Mexican cruise with my family. It was all fun, but put me even farther behind and added to my busy-ness.

Church calling. Being in stake Young Women isn’t always busy, but it’s pretty big stuff when we are. With 16 units to orient, train, and attend ward conferences for, plus the pioneer trek we did, the dances, activities and meetings, stake auxiliary training and YW Recognition, it adds up.

Will it be different this year?

Well, I still have my calling, my job, and travel plans. I'll be working fewer shows and won’t have a store to open, but otherwise, not too different.

But maybe my calendar will remind me to slow down and smell the roses.

Maybe, amidst the busyness, I'll take time to rest.


Rest
is not idleness;
and to lie sometimes on the grass
under trees on a summer day,
listening to the murmur of the water
or watching the clouds float across the sky
is by no means
a waste of time.
--J Lubbock