A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in church reflecting on the times and the very particular ways that the Lord has answered my prayers in my lifetime, and most especially lately. I also realized I have been in this ward for over a year now and have yet to bear my testimony. So I felt a desire to be given the words and the Spirit to acknowledge the Lord’s love and bear my testimony of Him on Fast Sunday.
This past week I worked about 60 hours instead of my usual 20, didn’t have a single day off, wasn’t home a single night, never had a regular dinner, and the milk in my fridge is sour it’s been so long since I’ve been to a grocery. I’m exhausted.
I dragged in late to sacrament meeting this morning, missed the sacrament, and plopped in my pew expecting to rest. As testimonies began, I realized that the theme that was developing was --could it be?--receiving answers to prayers. Hmm. and then I got that you-have-to-bear-your-testimony feeling from head to toe.
“No!” I thought. “Not today! I’m so tired. I'm just not ready. And I truly don’t deserve it."
But, wait, I asked for this, didn’t I? It couldn’t have been more clear to me that the Lord was directly and specifically answering that prayer uttered in my heart weeks before.
It was a very busy testimony day—no quiet times that needed to be filled; I had to fight for a place in line. But I couldn’t NOT bear my testimony now, could I? With heartfelt gratitude, I did.
A testimony was borne by a sister who just returned from Utah where her son got married. She was not at all happy about this girl or this marriage. When she went to pick up a rental car, the agent, in their casual conversation, delivered a message to her of forgiveness in a way that when she stood next to her son and his fiancé in that special circle in the temple, she was cleansed of all hard feelings. She bore testimony, as did I and others, of the lovingkindness of a Heavenly Father, and of the angels of mercy he sends to us.
I don't know how to thank Him, for what He does for me, and for you.
There are no words sufficient.
Just thanks, and thanks, and thanks, --
and more...
“Write [thy] blessed name, O Lord, upon my heart
there to remain so indelibly engraved
than no prosperity or adversity
shall ever move me from thy love.”
Thomas a Kempis 1500 A.D.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
What, me worry?
I think I am officially stressed.
That may not sound unusual, but for me it is.
It is a rare event.
People ask me why I don’t stress, or how not to, and this is the speech I give them:
1. Stress doesn’t usually change the situation that is stressing you. Whether or not you are stressed, the situation is the same. So why do that to yourself? If stress will help the situation, then by all means stress your little heart out, but usually stress does not make it better; it makes it worse for you and those around you.
2. Stress is something we do to ourselves. It is what we tell ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves we’re stressed, what if we changed our self-talk? What if we said things like, I can do this, I can handle this, this is not that big of a deal? It would be so much kinder, more productive and easier on our adrenaline system.
3. You can only do what you can do right now. You cannot act in the future or for people you can't do anything about. You can only do what you can in the moment. With foresight for the future, deal only with present.
4. I believe God will give us strength, but not for unnecessary or excessive worry. I don’t personally have the energy to always be stressed, and it gives me a stomach ache.
5. This too shall pass, and probably some good will come of it. Have faith in God, in yourself, and in the process of life. It will be okay. If not, when the time comes, well, worry about it then.
So, why don’t I take my own advice?
1. The one thing that does stress me is to be asked to do something that I feel I don’t have the ability or talent to do, made worse when there's not enough time to work it out, and it has to be done in front of other people. I have several of those things on my plate right now.
2. Sometimes the demands of life and pressures of time really can be overwhelming. It's almost enough to turn me to chocolate.
But not to worry. I'm taking my own advice, doing what I can do, and having faith for the rest in its own due time. All is well.
Oh, one more thing:
There is a Helping Hand. Put your hand in His.
That is my best advice of all.
That may not sound unusual, but for me it is.
It is a rare event.
People ask me why I don’t stress, or how not to, and this is the speech I give them:
1. Stress doesn’t usually change the situation that is stressing you. Whether or not you are stressed, the situation is the same. So why do that to yourself? If stress will help the situation, then by all means stress your little heart out, but usually stress does not make it better; it makes it worse for you and those around you.
2. Stress is something we do to ourselves. It is what we tell ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves we’re stressed, what if we changed our self-talk? What if we said things like, I can do this, I can handle this, this is not that big of a deal? It would be so much kinder, more productive and easier on our adrenaline system.
3. You can only do what you can do right now. You cannot act in the future or for people you can't do anything about. You can only do what you can in the moment. With foresight for the future, deal only with present.
4. I believe God will give us strength, but not for unnecessary or excessive worry. I don’t personally have the energy to always be stressed, and it gives me a stomach ache.
5. This too shall pass, and probably some good will come of it. Have faith in God, in yourself, and in the process of life. It will be okay. If not, when the time comes, well, worry about it then.
So, why don’t I take my own advice?
1. The one thing that does stress me is to be asked to do something that I feel I don’t have the ability or talent to do, made worse when there's not enough time to work it out, and it has to be done in front of other people. I have several of those things on my plate right now.
2. Sometimes the demands of life and pressures of time really can be overwhelming. It's almost enough to turn me to chocolate.
But not to worry. I'm taking my own advice, doing what I can do, and having faith for the rest in its own due time. All is well.
Oh, one more thing:
There is a Helping Hand. Put your hand in His.
That is my best advice of all.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Passport to Perfection
I was asked on Saturday night to pinch-hit for the Relief Society teacher on Sunday. I didn't want to do it because I didn't have the usual 100 hours that I like to prepare, and it would be the first time teaching in my new ward. But I agreed, and for my small sacrifice of time and willingness, I was richly rewarded.
I was downright giddy when I got my first passport last year. For me it opened up whole new vistas of places I could go, things I could see, experiences I might have.
In dreaming of places you'd like to go, of things you want to see and experience, do you ever think of destinations that are not geographical, but spiritual? Are there places you would like to go spiritually, things you'd like to see and experience that you haven't yet?
The passport to those places, according to President Spencer W. Kimball, is prayer.
In addition to the glorious knowledge that God lives, that we can communicate with Him, and that He will respond to us, there are blessings that come to us through the very process of prayer:
When we thank God for our blessings, we become more grateful, more mindful of our need for Him.
When we pray for loved ones and friends, we become more charitable, more apt to help.
When we pray for forgiveness, we become more repentant, more changed.
When we pray "Thy will be done," we become more submissive, humble, patient.
When we pray for missionaries, our own desires to do the work increase.
When we pray often, asking for help, we are kept from sin.
Prayer is not an optional activity for saints.
The very process of prayer aids us on the road to perfection.
The Lord's help we seek will see us through.
I think I've always believed that God hears and answers prayers. There is surely ample evidence.
But I have not always believed that He would hear and answer mine.
Now, when I think of the times and particular ways He has answered me, I feel such overwhelming gratitude for the tender mercies of Him to whom we pray.
One of Spencer Kimball's mottos was, Lengthen Your Stride.
Even kneeling, it applies.
Whatever level you are at with your prayers, there is higher ground to go to. There are spiritual places to go, miracles yet to be seen, experiences yet to be had. The passport to these places is earnest and sincere prayer.
So, fellow sojourners, pilgrims on a journey far from home--but not left alone--I bid you, "Bon Voyage!"
Have a good journey.
Go with God.
I was downright giddy when I got my first passport last year. For me it opened up whole new vistas of places I could go, things I could see, experiences I might have.
In dreaming of places you'd like to go, of things you want to see and experience, do you ever think of destinations that are not geographical, but spiritual? Are there places you would like to go spiritually, things you'd like to see and experience that you haven't yet?
The passport to those places, according to President Spencer W. Kimball, is prayer.
In addition to the glorious knowledge that God lives, that we can communicate with Him, and that He will respond to us, there are blessings that come to us through the very process of prayer:
When we thank God for our blessings, we become more grateful, more mindful of our need for Him.
When we pray for loved ones and friends, we become more charitable, more apt to help.
When we pray for forgiveness, we become more repentant, more changed.
When we pray "Thy will be done," we become more submissive, humble, patient.
When we pray for missionaries, our own desires to do the work increase.
When we pray often, asking for help, we are kept from sin.
Prayer is not an optional activity for saints.
The very process of prayer aids us on the road to perfection.
The Lord's help we seek will see us through.
I think I've always believed that God hears and answers prayers. There is surely ample evidence.
But I have not always believed that He would hear and answer mine.
Now, when I think of the times and particular ways He has answered me, I feel such overwhelming gratitude for the tender mercies of Him to whom we pray.
One of Spencer Kimball's mottos was, Lengthen Your Stride.
Even kneeling, it applies.
Whatever level you are at with your prayers, there is higher ground to go to. There are spiritual places to go, miracles yet to be seen, experiences yet to be had. The passport to these places is earnest and sincere prayer.
So, fellow sojourners, pilgrims on a journey far from home--but not left alone--I bid you, "Bon Voyage!"
Have a good journey.
Go with God.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Seedlings
One Sunday when I was in high school, I was lying on the living room floor reading through a Christmas cantata the ward choir was singing that year. There began to form in my mind words for a narration for the cantata. I was surprised, but thought little of it and did nothing.
As a newlywed, some older women in my ward asked me to join them in writing and producing programs for the ward. Wherever would they get the idea that I could write or perform anything?
Years later I found a poem I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old. I was surprised at my use of word play, even then.
I still do not think of myself as a writer, but over the years of my life I have written a few programs, speeches, silly word plays, and even poetry. I did not know it was in me; I simply did what I was asked to do.
It has made me wonder what seeds are in each of us that may go unrecognized, that with time, experience and opportunity, might blossom into something bigger and grander than we can imagine?
We might hold seeds of talents untouched. We might hold seeds of personality traits undeveloped. Who can know what a grand and glorious person we could become? or what possibilities lie within us?
C.S. Lewis wrote,
“There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.”
Do you ever wonder, who are you really?
And what might you become?
As a newlywed, some older women in my ward asked me to join them in writing and producing programs for the ward. Wherever would they get the idea that I could write or perform anything?
Years later I found a poem I wrote to my mother when I was 12 years old. I was surprised at my use of word play, even then.
I still do not think of myself as a writer, but over the years of my life I have written a few programs, speeches, silly word plays, and even poetry. I did not know it was in me; I simply did what I was asked to do.
It has made me wonder what seeds are in each of us that may go unrecognized, that with time, experience and opportunity, might blossom into something bigger and grander than we can imagine?
We might hold seeds of talents untouched. We might hold seeds of personality traits undeveloped. Who can know what a grand and glorious person we could become? or what possibilities lie within us?
C.S. Lewis wrote,
“There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.”
Do you ever wonder, who are you really?
And what might you become?
Change in Pressure
To Be Constant
When I was growing up, my father had a barometer hanging on his bedroom wall. A barometer measures the changes in external air pressure, predicting weather changes, and it helped Dad know if it was a good day to fly his small aircraft.
I was always fascinated with this instrument. I have since wondered if we aren't sometimes like a barometer, and change with the pressures outside ourselves. I hear a lot of talk about 'peer pressure' as if it's a given. I never felt slave to it, choosing instead to follow an internal compass, but know that we are affected a great deal by the climate around us.
I like to think about those for whom the external pressure changed drastically, and yet they were constant: Adam, Abraham, Job, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Joseph Smith, Joseph F. Smith (“true blue, through and through”), and Sir Thomas More, to name a few.
Robert Bolt, in my favorite play A Man For All Seasons, describes the self as “an equivocal commodity.” His main character, Sir Thomas More, says: “We speak of being anchored to our principles. But if the weather turns nasty you up with an anchor, let it down where there’s less wind, and the fishing’s better. And ‘look,' we say, 'look, I’m anchored.'”
Sir Thomas More didn't move his anchor when the tides and winds changed, and was executed because of it when he refused to utter the words that would have saved his life but were contrary to his beliefs.
The moral climate of the world has changed a great deal in my lifetime. Sometimes it can change in a moment.
One virtue we seldom hear about any more is constancy, the quality of staying true to one's self and one's beliefs no matter the pressures outside.
I suspect it's a virtue the Lord values.
“We do not have to live, but we must be true to ourselves and God.”
When I was growing up, my father had a barometer hanging on his bedroom wall. A barometer measures the changes in external air pressure, predicting weather changes, and it helped Dad know if it was a good day to fly his small aircraft.
I was always fascinated with this instrument. I have since wondered if we aren't sometimes like a barometer, and change with the pressures outside ourselves. I hear a lot of talk about 'peer pressure' as if it's a given. I never felt slave to it, choosing instead to follow an internal compass, but know that we are affected a great deal by the climate around us.
I like to think about those for whom the external pressure changed drastically, and yet they were constant: Adam, Abraham, Job, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Joseph Smith, Joseph F. Smith (“true blue, through and through”), and Sir Thomas More, to name a few.
Robert Bolt, in my favorite play A Man For All Seasons, describes the self as “an equivocal commodity.” His main character, Sir Thomas More, says: “We speak of being anchored to our principles. But if the weather turns nasty you up with an anchor, let it down where there’s less wind, and the fishing’s better. And ‘look,' we say, 'look, I’m anchored.'”
Sir Thomas More didn't move his anchor when the tides and winds changed, and was executed because of it when he refused to utter the words that would have saved his life but were contrary to his beliefs.
The moral climate of the world has changed a great deal in my lifetime. Sometimes it can change in a moment.
One virtue we seldom hear about any more is constancy, the quality of staying true to one's self and one's beliefs no matter the pressures outside.
I suspect it's a virtue the Lord values.
“We do not have to live, but we must be true to ourselves and God.”
Integrity, the Crowning Jewel
If I were to choose a favorite Young Women value, it would be integrity. And not just because I like the color purple.
Integrity. Integrate. Integral. Integer --to be whole or complete.
In all of us, there is a gap between what we know and what we do. The gap can be small or large, depending on the person or the issue. To me, that gap, or break in the wholeness, is a lack of integrity.
Have you ever found yourself saying, "I know I should do that, but...." ? That's a sure sign of a gap. Sometimes we feel guilty about that gap; sometimes we don't. Sometimes guilt leads us to do something about that gap; sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we don't even recognize the gap.
Jesus came to earth to accomplish the Atonement, the at-one-ment, to help us bridge the gaps and become whole, or perfect. When we integrate the values, principles and attributes of perfection, when we do that which we know to do, then we come together in a whole and complete, or perfected being. We can’t do that completely on our own or in this life, but we can try.
When the Primary song, "I Am a Child of God" was first written, the chorus said, 'Teach me all that I must know to live with Him someday."
Spencer W. Kimball asked that it be changed to "Teach me all that I must do," as a reminder that it's not enough to know.
It has since been suggested that we change it again, to "Teach me all that I must be," to teach us that we must, on the inside and out, be, as Jesus taught, "Even as I Am."
To be honest with ourselves, with others, and with God --
to live as we know, --that is integrity.
To rephrase an old saying,
There are many tools of perfection,
but integrity is the handle of them all.
"Do not write a check with your tongue that your actions cannot cash." Neal A. Maxwell
Integrity. Integrate. Integral. Integer --to be whole or complete.
In all of us, there is a gap between what we know and what we do. The gap can be small or large, depending on the person or the issue. To me, that gap, or break in the wholeness, is a lack of integrity.
Have you ever found yourself saying, "I know I should do that, but...." ? That's a sure sign of a gap. Sometimes we feel guilty about that gap; sometimes we don't. Sometimes guilt leads us to do something about that gap; sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we don't even recognize the gap.
Jesus came to earth to accomplish the Atonement, the at-one-ment, to help us bridge the gaps and become whole, or perfect. When we integrate the values, principles and attributes of perfection, when we do that which we know to do, then we come together in a whole and complete, or perfected being. We can’t do that completely on our own or in this life, but we can try.
When the Primary song, "I Am a Child of God" was first written, the chorus said, 'Teach me all that I must know to live with Him someday."
Spencer W. Kimball asked that it be changed to "Teach me all that I must do," as a reminder that it's not enough to know.
It has since been suggested that we change it again, to "Teach me all that I must be," to teach us that we must, on the inside and out, be, as Jesus taught, "Even as I Am."
To be honest with ourselves, with others, and with God --
to live as we know, --that is integrity.
To rephrase an old saying,
There are many tools of perfection,
but integrity is the handle of them all.
"Do not write a check with your tongue that your actions cannot cash." Neal A. Maxwell
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