When I got home that
night as my wife Ameena served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I’ve got
something to tell you."
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt
in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was
thinking.
I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
Ameena didn’t seem to be
annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Ismail why?"
I avoided her
question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, ‘you are not a man!’
That night, we
didn’t talk to each other. Ameena was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out
what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Mary Anne. I didn’t love
Ameena anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense
of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our
house and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who
had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had
said, for I loved Mary Anne so dearly.
Finally Ameena
cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I
came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t
have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired
after an eventful day with Mary Anne. When I woke up, she was still there at
the table writing. I just didn't care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she
presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed
a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we
both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son Ahmed had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable
to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her
into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the
month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.
I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Mary Anne about
my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No
matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
Ameena and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son Ahmed clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly, don’t tell Ahmed about the divorce. I nodded,
feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day,
both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were
fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to Ameena.
On the fourth day,
when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Mary Anne
about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing
what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a
suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her
more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness
in her heart.
Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head. Our son Ahmed came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother
out had become an essential part of his life. Ameena gestured to our son to
come close and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our
wedding day.
But her much
lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Ahmed had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…
jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Mary Anne opened the door and
I said to her, Sorry, Mary Anne, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me,
astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved
her hand off my head. Sorry, Mary Anne, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our
lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realized that
since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until one of us departs this world.
Mary Anne seemed
to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and
burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the
way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what
to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I will carry you out every morning until
one of us leaves this world!
The small details
of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion,
the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an
environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So
find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other
that build a relationship.
Allah says in the
Qur’an:’Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one
more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their
sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of
their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.’ (Qur’an 4:34)
Allah says in the
Qur’an:’And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of
each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay
the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy,
indeed, God is almighty, All-wise.’ (Qur’an 9:71)
Prophet(p.b. u.h)
said, ‘The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best
to my family.’....
AUTHOR UNKNOWN:
Carry me in your arms….
Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: ‘The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.’
Note:Betrayer will not be accepted. - SORRY