deadCENTER, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, North America, United States, Western Hemisphere, Earth

Our very own Shelby Button (AKA Charlie Parsley, AKA Farm Boy) went to OKC's premiere film festival featuring serious cinematic features as indicated in the shot above (the aftermath of some bad Popeye's methinks) and then turned around and filed a report over at the House Next Door.

The Peter Principle: Why things always go wrong.

by Charlie Parsley
Incompetence is everywhere. Structures collapse due to faulty design. A theater house is built without enough seating for the theatrical productions. Motorists complain about problems in new cars. High school students cannot read. Sales clerks are insolent. Politicians are indecisive and ineffective.

As a reporter, Raymond Hull has had a variety of opportunities to study the workings of civilized society, and has repeatedly encountered incompetence in nearly every segment of industry. He has investigated and written about government, business, education, and has interviewed people from a variety of professions. He has noticed that, with few exceptions, men ‘bungle their affairs’.

Mr. Hull began asking questions of his acquaintances, and heard plenty of theories about why we’re in the state we’re in. Political irresponsibility. Fiscal crisis. Social changes. One night, during an intermission at a theater performance, Mr. Hull met Dr. Laurence J. Peter, and discovered that they shared this field of interest, as Dr. Peter was a scientist studying incompetence. They met after the show and spent a long evening discussing the doctor’s findings.

Together, they discovered commonalities among their observations. They have outlined these concepts and theories, and have made them available to the casual reader in a handsome 1969 paperback publication.

The Peter Principle: Why things always go wrong, by Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull. A Bantam Book, copyright 1969.

The Peter Principle applies to laws such as that of Murphy’s: a sort of theoretical social science. The Peter Principle describes the workings of a hierarchy, and so can be said to be the study of hierarchiology.

Dr. Peter hypothesized that the cause of workplace incompetence was an aspect of the way employees are chosen and placed in their position. Additional forces applied from the pyramidal chain-of-command structures predetermine how said employee will then rise up through the hierarchy in their workplace. A particular employee may advance from an entry-level role into a position with responsibility. It is in this moving, or, repositioning as is the current term, which will make all the difference.

If said employee is competent in the new role, he will then be eligible for promotion into another position. If said employee is not competent, then he will not be eligible. Therefore, he will remain in the position he is incompetent at. If said employee is competent as said before, promotion can and likely will continue until the employee reaches a plateau where he is no longer competent in the role and will therefore not be promoted again. Advancement up the hierarchy will continue until an employee is ineligible to proceed any further. He has then ‘reached his level of his incompetence.’

Dr. Peter discovered a commonality: employees are first placed in a role they are competent at. Because of this competence, they are then promoted into another role, which may demand new skills. If the employee is not competent in the new position, then there will be no further promotion, and the employee is then stuck in that role.

“In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.”

“In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.”

Mr. Hull goes on to provide ‘Case Studies’ of particular persons with thoughtful pseudo-names such as Mr. C. Breeze, D. Roane, Mr. B. Lunt, Miss P. Saucier of the Lomark Department Stores, Captain N. Chatters, General Goodwin, Roly Koster, and many more. Such names make page turning enjoyable, as the names are continually fresh and new, and never repeated.

Case studies provide insightful and believable profiles of the moderately competent worker, the competent worker and the incompetent, and how advancement for all will result in failure at some point.

A good, industrious auto mechanic, while and expert with cars, may become an auto shop owner, where he will continue to manage the cars rather than the finances or the other employees. Other employees may lag in their productivity if no one will provide the organization and coordination with the customers.

A current example: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger has achieved his success from presenting himself to he public through bodybuilding and then films. He has excelled at entertainment. Yet he has now advanced into a higher public role with a very different skill set, that of politician, for which he has no prior experience. Has he reached his level of incompetence?

In the Realm of the Senses (1976)

by Charlie ParsleyAfter the recent examination of the samurai, I suggest to continue the study of Japanese cinema with another subject: the geisha.

Geishas are punk rock like the samurai and will pull a knife on you just as fast if you yank their chain. They have less respect for love. They are not particularly virtuous. They will say what you want to hear. They wear that mask of makeup. They have a look. I love the robes of the Japanese, oh how I would enjoy an appropriately fitted men's outfit in a formal style the fabrics are luscious and the patterns are exquisite.

Realm is all about the sexual revolution. It is of the time. And yet it is timeless, as time less as prostitution. Is prostitution an aspect of a sexual revolution? Perhaps sexual revolutions are going on all the time around us, and only a few of us notice. Only a few are bravely open and unashamed, unabashed with their notions of sexuality. A free accepting of sexuality, a comfortable understanding of it. Some may disapprove of so called promiscuous behavior. Sexual appetites vary as widely as sexual tastes. There are as many sexualities as there are people walking on the street.

The Japanese like to quietly slide the paper panels of a room to gently peer inside at the goings-on. As the walls are paper thin, it is usually no secret about what might be transpiring a few feet away. A geisha will wait
while you finish up. She is here to entertain you. she can strum a guitar and sing. She can do this sitting on a pillow and she can also do this sitting on your excitable lap. Which do you prefer? Yes thank you. please keep playing or else my wife will be suspicious.

The filmmaker has an attitude similar to the golden era of 70s pornography. The sexual situations are incorporated into the story in a non exploitative way. the characters interact in an environment with much openness and transparency, as there isn't much that truly happens behind closed doors. It isn't that the characters are particularly immoral, they are just more accepting of sex. They enjoy it. It is a part of the daily ritual.

The author concludes with a description of his favorite scene. There is a very hardcore depiction of oral sex which is both acted and photographed very well. It is enjoyable for the beauty of the characters it captures. The male reclines on a couch while the female is preoccupied with polishing his sword. He leisurely lights a cigarette and then says to her that she is a remarkable woman. A very Playboy mansion vibe, trashy but classy. The sex
scenes in the film are well done and the film as a whole is quite engaging.

Political Ties

By Charlie Parsley

Hasn’t it been confirmed that it was during the 2000 Presidential hoo-ha when the color Red was assigned to Republicans to represent their Soviet-like bloodthirst for control, and Blue was assigned the Democrats because of their mellow benevolence in passing around money to people that haven’t really earned it. The terms Red State and Blue State have since been in use, and the code has subtly transferred itself into other realms of color-scheming. It will likely be denied, but when a politician is to give a speech most certainly some consideration has been given to the color of his or her tie or power suit.

Notice that politician’s neckties are generally solid colored and not striped or patterned. If there is a pattern it is low-key with a dominant background color. News commentators and reporters are more likely to display ties with bold patterns or strong colors outside of the red/blue code. Everyone knows that a loud tie on a politician effects the same consequences as throwing up on a foreign dignitary, stumbling down some steps, growing a beard or smoking a cigarette.

In discussing current State Of The Union Address, a prediction was (correctly) given that Mr. Bush’s tie of choice on Tuesday would be Light Blue. The message although unstated is clear: considering the problems with Iraq, Mr. Bush will set aside the Red tie he has boldly worn throughout his presidency. He is now looking at the Blue ties. Not a confidently deep Blue, but a lighter, gentle Blueness will send a message that may or may not be in his spoken words.

Red and Blue combined creates Purple which is most Un-American. So it may be that Red and Blue will remain forever separated, a boundary delineated with Neutral White. Even now as discussions build about the 2008 election, there is the same old statement thrown around about the people being Ready For A Change because they are tired of Business As Usual. Yet all that will happen is a switch from Red to Blue to Red to Blue to Red to Blue. A political yin-yang.

Reds and Blues are usually evenly divided 50/50 in U.S. representation. It allows for arguing of both sides which often does result in a stalemate of some sort wherein nothing gets done.

Perhaps this is for the best. Definitive decisions really do not need to be made about teaching things in schools or going back to the moon or marriages or abortions or pornography. Let the discussions about them never end.

If the people are ever truly ready for change, this author suggests the color Green. The politics of Green are admirable and deserving of opportunity. The combination Red-Green-Blue is more lively and invigorating than Red-White-Blue. Stars and Trees forever.

What To Do With All Those Terrible Gifts

By Charlie ParsleyHow many of us did not bother to open the tin of Danish Sugar Cookies because we gave them that very same day to our brother whom we know just LOVES Danish Sugar Cookies? Confess! How many of you noticed that what you thought were Danish Sugar Cookies were actually Gabi Butter Cookies, or, Galletas Finas? They are Mexican counterfeits! There is too much coconut in them.

This year, this author attended not just one but two complete rounds of Dirty Santa. The game itself can be enjoyable, but generally the gifts are terrible. In light of this, the author declined participation in either one, citing religious disabilities. He sat in The Balcony, behind that cut-out in the living room wall unnecessarily supported with two colonial pillars which is supposed to help make the living room look bigger. He provided Muppets-style cheers and jeers as was appropriate.

After a long, long hour of undue contemplation around poorly gift-bagged presents in the first game, the author was mildly surprised to conclude that no single gift was desired by him, nor useful in any small capacity. Had an analysis of this situation been premeditated, notes would have taken. Instead, a jovially inebriated memory will have to suffice in order to list the numerous Lame Gifts.

Gift bag full of name branded holiday candies. Wow, more candy for Christmas. Thanks! I was hoping to become diabetic this year. When Hershey’s^TM wraps all those mini candies in red and green I simply cannot resist them.

A hand-crank flashlight. Yes, it might possibly be useful when my old truck breaks down in the middle of the night and I have to go find someplace where a cop won’t catch me peeing. (In Oklahoma, public urination is a sexual assault) However, a cop is sure to stop and investigate this little pale blue light meandering along the roadside. The only time I would really need a hand crank flashlight is when I am looking for my jacket underneath all the barstools at the Sidecar Bar and it is very unlikely that I will be carrying it in the back pocket of my Versace jeans at that time.

A tiny little resin plaque with an inspirational poem written on it. It hangs from a thin chain dotted with tiny colored plastic beads. Its edges are decorated with little painted pansies and metallic butterflies. Hanging from the base of this thing are four tiny metal tubes which also makes it a windchime. So many terrible things in this one gift make it something that I might really keep so I can laugh at it from time to time.

A stuffed small white bear, patterned with red hearts which makes it look like a valentine gift. It is affixed to a plastic base, so it is a decoration and not a toy. Next to the bear sits a small plastic flowerpot of daisies and a miniature gardener’s shovel. Underneath the platform of the sculpture is an On/Off switch, because it plays a highly mechanized rendition of ‘Fur Elise’. Made in China.
Please note: I am not making this up. These are actual gifts.

Hershey’s Chocolate Lover’s Cookbook. Back to the candies and sweets. This one I might consider a good gift, but I am suspicious that most of the recipes will just tell you to chop up some Hershey’s candies and add it to some sort of typical recipe. Reeses’ Peanut Butter Cheesecake makers: you are not fooling anyone.

Starbucks’ Single-Breakfast Double-Mug Gift Box. It is opened by someone who does drink coffee, but they drink Folger’s. They have never tried Starbucks coffee but they are pretty sure they won’t like it. The little packet only has enough coffee for two cups, and the two mugs to put it in are the main part of the gift. The world really does not need any more mugs. The biscotti is already broken. The plastic wrap has greasy fingerprints.

Candle-in-a-jar that smells like lavender. That gift was almost good if only I were an elderly grandmother.

Burt’s Bees Mini-Tiny Things Sampler. Maybe I can wash my butt with that mini-bottle of body wash. Everything else smells kind of weird and even the girls who smelled it agreed.

A big pan of homemade peanut brittle. Usually I give a lot of credit towards anything that is homemade, but I notice chunks of unmelted butter/margarine among the peanuts with traces of white powder. The chef has overestimated her abilities as well as our appetites.

To conclude this sad parade, the Grand Marshall of 2006 appeared at both Dirty Santa games. It is a small toy animal designed to be filled with brown jellybeans. When its back is depressed, the candy is dispensed from beneath its tail. This treasure, which my grandmother carried home, wears the winning badge of distinction: its price tag. $6.99.

What to do with items such as these? Re-gifting is a risky and obvious maneuver. Thus, the author suggests Stealth Re-Gifting, that is, within the same season. Dust-collecting holdover re-gifts are sure to deliver only denigration and regret. The best solution is to simply place these items in the garbage. Keep America strong!

As it may concern so-called unwanted liquors or spirits, there is no excuse. A red wine that might not be to one’s liking can certainly be used in the marinara sauce. To say that one does not have a taste for gin is to admit to one’s white trash upbringing. Even the half-empty bottle of whisky must be enjoyed no matter whose spittle might be swimming around in it. Alcohol sterilizes things for Pete’s sake. Turn that frown upside down and drink your Christmas present.

Mysteries of the Human Condition: Nanook of the North and Grass: A Nation’s Battle for Life

Preferring factual to fictional storytelling, I enjoyed viewing these two titles identified as some of the first documentaries filmed. When the double feature concluded, rather than coming away with a pure documentary experience, I had many questions about the differences between fiction and non-fiction and the meanings of ‘documentary’ and ‘feature’.

Nanook of the North (1922) is a noteworthy film. Witnessing the lives of an Eskimo tribe firsthand is fascinating, disturbing, perplexing, disgusting and at times, funny. It is a poignant portrayal of life.

Robert J. Flaherty, the explorer turned filmmaker, explains in an introductory text that Nanook was not his first attempt to film the Eskimo tribe. He filmed during a previous expedition, capturing random events while he lived with them. Returning home, he developed and edited together this first collection of film. When the editing was near completion, the film caught fire and “all was lost.” Whether this destruction was intentional or accidental is not clear, as Flaherty says that he felt the completed film was not good due to the lack of narrative.

Reconsidering his objective, he decided to focus his attention on one family of Eskimos, and so he returned to film once more. His aim was to bring an emotional and personal aspect to the new film that the first attempt lacked.

Although the ‘story’ of Nanook’s family is unscripted, Flaherty approached them with a preconceived idea of what he would film. Accounting for decisions about what would and would not be filmed, the notion that he has captured ‘real life’ becomes vague. The Eskimos look directly at the camera, aware that they are being filmed. Flaherty even brought film processing equipment with him, so he could develop and view the reels as he shot them. The Eskimos viewed the reels as well and understood what was going on.

Furthermore, Flaherty intended to create a ‘feature’ film, as ‘features’ were popular in theaters at the time. He included aspects of features in his work such as dramatic narrative, characters with personalities, conflicts and resolutions. At 79 minutes, it was considered ‘feature length’ at the time. Flaherty simply chose to use unscripted, uncostumed non-actors in a natural setting. Long after its completion, others labeled Nanook as a documentary.

The difference between feature and documentary is even more blurred in Grass: A Nation’s Battle for Life. The film shows thousands of animals and ‘Forgotten People’ traversing vast deserts and towering mountains, migrating to greener pastures. The first characters shown in the film are the filmmakers, themselves, because during the film, they were behind the camera. It was thoughtful of them to feature themselves at the beginning.

Merian Cooper, the explorer who conceived the idea (not long after Nanook was created) to film the migration, is dressed in safari hat and smokes a pipe as he peers into the camera with a stern, thoughtful expression. Seated next to him is the boyishly handsome Ernest B. Schoedsack who, instead of looking into the camera, never takes his eyes off Merian. They silently banter in a masculine way that raises the eyebrows of those of us who know certain things. A third person is presented, separate from the two men. Marguerite Harrison, an ‘author and traveler’ is ‘shown here in her role’ of wearing dark lipstick and head scarf and tipping her head in a coy, tartish manner. One can only guess at what sorts of reasons Marguerite was included with the two men in the expedition. All of them come off as posers.

As in Nanook, witnessing the tribulations of native people living primitive lives is horrifying, enthralling, but really not at all humorous unless one is a person who would find amusement in seeing animals whipped and forced into incredibly harsh terrains. Referred to as the ‘Forgotten People’ of the East, the beduoin tribe is the focus of the film.

The titles throughout Grass provide more insights about the filmmakers’ attitudes rather than the film’s subjects. The migrants are regarded as objects of study, presented by the filmmakers to an audience like themselves, an audience that would be able to complete the phrase: “Everywhere that Mary went...” Joking remarks such as this appear between scenes of terrific hardship and make light of the agonizing journey, turning it into an awe-inspiring spectacle. It is the Victorian attitude about discovering, naming and classifying all of the oddments of the world for the entertainment of the well-to-do. King Kong. After viewing barelegged women and small children treading through swift moving rapids, we are reminded that “BRRRR! This water’s COLD!”

As the tribe is named ‘Forgotten People’, they are not attributed with any nationality or ethnicity. Only the tribe’s leader and his son are named, leaving the rest of the people in an ambiguous herd very much like the goats. Flaherty’s focus on Nanook’s family evokes a personal sympathy with the native people, which Cooper’s Grass lacks. Unfortunately, it helps this viewer understand how First World people can view Third World people as less than human. They live with and like animals.

The overreaching question, however, is: How in the hell can people live like this? The author, residing in rural Oklahoma, fully comprehends the paradoxical irony of this question. Regardless of the fiction/factual axiom in these films and despite the rough treatment of animals, they ultimately serve as a testament to the endurance and resourcefulness of mankind.

Breakfast Cereal Analysis, Report #0001

Breakfast Cereal is a puzzling paradox: a simple element, even in either state of homogenous or compounded formation, and mathematically stable as represented in the bipolar binomial milk / cereal formulas: 1 + 1 and 1 : 1 and 1 = 1. Yet, this same substance, the Breakfast Cereal, is also a highly complex network of structures within this singular genus, repeated in themes and variations consistently throughout its development, with a wide dynamic range from the very healthy cereals to overdeveloped, dangerously toxic grain-sugar hybrids.

As this substance is rarely, if ever, properly formulated and consumed with the addition of juice, toast and a fried egg as recommended in its completest expression, it merits methodical research and critical analysis to fully comprehend the effects it may or may not have with or without additional substrates when it is utilized at the time of breakfast. In light of the overwhelming numbers of cereals which would demand untold amounts of time and repeated testing, we may attempt a more focused direction upon an especially important variety which merits sober investigation: chocolate cereals.

The specimens are:

OREO O’s
Cocoa Puffs
Cocoa Pebbles

The formulations are:

1 milk + 1 cereal = 1 breakfast amalgam
1 milk : 1 cereal ratio fifty percentile
1 milk + 1 cereal
1 bowl = 1 breakfast amalgam

Exhibit A: OREO O’s

After much deliberation, the POST Cereals Marketing Department finally realized that no one has brought the wholesome goodness of OREO cookies to the breakfast table. Thus, KRAFT Foods, Inc., the “Good Food Ideas” company invite you to enjoy a bowl of “Fun-to-Crunch” OREO O’s, in spite of their registered assertion that this is “BREAKFAST DONE RIGHT”. OREO O’s are top-of-the-line, one of the most expensive cereals available, a caviar of cereals. This can only be attributed to scientifically complex levels of sugar manipulation.

Analysis reveals a chalky, hyperchocolated flavor which is of a similar flavor component to the OREO cookie format. The aftertaste is somewhat unpleasant and lingers upon the tongue unnaturally, revealing a familiar ‘saccharine’ undertone found in many oversweetened cereals. As expected, the sweetness saturation point had been well exceeded, and the milk is immediately overtaken by the chocolate particulates suffused throughout the cereal. The milk is transformed into a vehicle of the cereals agenda. Over time, the milk/cereal formation registers high on the toxicity scale as it seems to have a short and inverted lifespan.

When the OREO O’s cereal is placed upon the tongue in a dry state, without the addition of milk, it is the saliva which becomes the vehicle for the chocolate/sugar particulates, and the rapid absorption could potentially create critical rash or burn to exposed, unprotected flesh. Extreme caution is necessary, prolonged exposure could be damaging.

The dense, dark, threatening black chocolateness flavor of the OREO type is markedly different from the softer creamy brown ‘cocoa’ type of chocolateness flavor found within the Puff or Pebble variety. This difference has been amplified through associations of the black OREO chocolate flavor with ‘cream’, and the cocoa brown type flavor with ‘milk’. Therefore, when The Puff and Pebble ‘cocoa’ type flavors are introduced, this creates a ‘chocolate milk’ effect within the lactic fluid, whereas the black chocolate effect of the OREO O’s specimen produces an unusual unchocolate midtone grey such as commonly found in filthy bathwater.

Exhibit B: COCOA PUFFS

“Sonny” the “crazy” “bird” and his out-of-control fixation with this branded variety of cereal is a hauntingly accurate portrayal of the unhealthy side effects users of this prescriptive may expect if or when exceeding standard allowable dosages. Step-down treatments and behavior modification programs are sometimes effective, but as observed from his weakened demeanor, attempting to separate Sonny from the Cocoa Puffs for any length of time provokes severe withdrawl reactions. Sonny is a case study with a clear warning, a role model of painful consequences.

Structurally, the architecture of the Puff form is faulty and its technical performance weak and ineffective. The Puff spheres are not of compact, integrated design, wherein they will not incorporate and layer together as Flake types or compound as Granules, Granulars or Particulates can. Instead, the Puffs surfaces repel with a neutralized electrical field surrounding the corn shell.

This is neither confluent nor organic with visceral structures such as that children may possess and the introduction of the one into the other causes an odd and confusing variety of disruptive effects. Physical, psychological, temporal and sexual faculties may or may not have minor or severe side effects from eating Cocoa Puffs. Ask your doctor if Cocoa Puffs are right for you.

Exhibit C: COCOA PEBBLES

Cocoa Pebbles, another “Good Ideas Food” ^TM from the KRAFT/POST Foods Complex, has a chocolate foundation remarkably similar in formula to OREO O’s with the primary exception of the coloration factor being that the Pebble form retains the more traditional brown ‘milk’ hue common in chocolate milk. The Cocoa Pebbles chocolate taste is traditional and familiar, an evocative, emotive taste distinct in candy bars. This flavor has been well-tested through a variety of focus groups and extensively researched, determining associations between aromas and emotions. It took over three years to determine the blend of fifteen flavor components to create the taste of Cocoa Pebbles, and research continues to this day.

An influential component within the Pebble form is the Flintstone Agenda. The Flintstones were immediately identified by cereal experts as the powerful agents they turned out to be. The Flintstones continue to be one of the cereal industry’s longstanding success stories. Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble have held their positions in the Cereal 100 since their arrival and continue their success as heavy players in the industry, despite ongoing tabloid rumors and accusations.

The Rice Particulate form is harmonized integration design at its finest. With cool homogenous minimalism, clusters of Rice Particulates manage relationships of form and space with elegant simplicity. The power of milk is harnessed by Intelligent Design within Rice forms which transform the wet aspects of the milk with seemingly unbelievable incredulous adhesive qualities. These sorts of transformations can and could, over time, create types of cereal based pastes unlike any we have ever seen before.

The reader is invited to draw his and or her own conclusions.