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Showing posts with label persons of interest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label persons of interest. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Early Modern Unknown Armies Masterpost

Since I've been planning to reboot my modern Unknown Armies game (hopefully we're having the first session tonight), and so I've been thinking about the early modern one a little bit more.  (There's now even an early modern Unknown Armies tag on this very blog.)  I didn't devise a ton of content for it, but I did make enough that sometimes I look at it and wonder.

Naturally, all this stuff relies on knowledge of Unknown Armies and the sourcebook The Ascension of the Magdalene.

So, without further ado, have some stuff that I'm unlikely to use again:

Early Modern GMCs: These include historical figures such as Gaspar Graziani and Jan Mydlář, as well as the wholly fictional Divus Giovanni Vabalathus Sarotosia Nibelung (based on the mysterious circumstances surrounding the death of the infant bastard son of Don Juan de Austria).  I was going to provide a writeup for Laurentius Dhur, but the game folded before I got that far.

Encounter Tables: An encounter table suitable for early modern adventuring.  I never made a Special Encounter subtable, so you can put your own weird events there.

Factions: A series of early modern factions written in the style of the faction lists in Unknown Armies (second edition), pages 84-85 and 204-206.

Also, Previously on the Blog:

1610 UA Money Conversion Chart

UA Conversion Notes for Willibald Schwartz from Better Than Any Man

UA Conversion Notes for Dittmar from Better Than Any Man

Durandal, sword of Roland

Shakespeare's The Tempest (rough draft)

Lamentations of the Unknown Armies

And this probably would be incomplete without the Random Shakespearean Insult Generator

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Your Next Adventuring Party: The Funny Pages

A Sunday post?  What gives?

As much as I now realize I totally missed an opportunity by making this blog The RPG Reverend and only posting on Sundays, I stormed a brain about a week ago and this is what fell out.

Comic strips.

Your next adventuring party has been sitting in the Sunday comics for years, and I bet you never even noticed.  (I don't read a lot of comic strips, but I have vague recollections of Mark Trail, and when I thought about him being a ranger, this post congealed in my brain.)  Check this out:

Prince Valiant, the fighter


Prince Valiant, pictured here doing his best Conan impression
Prince Valiant is an Arthurian knight with a masterwork weapon, known as Flamberge.  In best Pendragon tradition, he eventually has a wife, five children, and a grandchild.  Very early comic strips include sorcery and pulp monsters, but this quickly becomes an anachronistic fifth century European setting mash-up.  For example, when Vikings capture his wife, he evidently follows her to America.  As the series progresses, he eventually lives up to his title, reinstating his monarch father to the throne of Thule.  In game terms, I guess he hits domain level.

Dennis Mitchell, the rogue


Dennis Mitchell, pictured here committing petty larceny
Dennis Mitchell is a modern-day boy whom, as he epithet "the Menace" suggests, tends to get into mischief.  Although hardly a malicious character, it seems plausible that his talent for mischief will some day give Dennis the tools he needs to become a master thief.  He always seems to have the tool he needs to annoy Mr. Wilson.  Despite his contemporary setting, he could easily be a mischievous boy in some pseudo-fantasy setting, assuming we're sticking with the traditional fantasy structure.  Players wanting a more malicious take on the character could easily use his British namesake instead:

Dennis the Menace, pictured here looking shady as hell

Little Nemo, the cleric


Little Nemo, pictured here awakening
Little Nemo is a dreamer on par with Lovecraft's Randolph Carter, save for the fact that he is roughly nine or ten years old.  As someone who can enter dreams and combat spiritual maladies, it makes sense that Little Nemo might act as the spiritual advisor of the party, particularly as an adult.  (Perhaps we can extrapolate adult Nemo having lost his dreamwalking abilities, but having retained his ability to navigate spiritual perils.)  Players wanting more interactions with the land of dreams could easily modify the cleric into something approximating the dreamwalker shaman kit from The Complete Barbarian's Handbook, making a more primal, shamanistic Nemo.

The Wizard of Id, the wizard

The Wizard, pictured here practicing alchemy with his spirit familiar
The Wizard is the vizier to the King of Id.  A potent magic-user, Wiz's spells still have a tendency to backfire, either due to absent-mindedness, the fact that he's in a comedy comic, or the fact that he's actually a Lamentations of the Flame Princess magic-user.  He is served by a spirit familiar, possibly summoned by use of the Summon spell.

Mark Trail, the ranger


Mark Trail, pictured here committing aggravated assault, possibly for the last time
Another contemporary character, Mark Trail is a wildlife photojournalist, environmentalist, and two-fisted pulp adventurer.  Although Mark is from a modern setting, he could easily be some sort of natural historian attempting to document the creatures of the wild.  And shooting people with arrows or stabbing interlopers with longswords.  Like Prince Valiant, he also develops a family as the comic progresses.  Unlike Prince Valiant, he apparently has an archnemesis named "Catfish."  Perhaps aboleths are his favored enemy?

**************************************

Readers no doubt have other comic strip inspirations.  If you want to run an entire campaign on the premise, just cull your plots from set pieces introduced in Ripley's Believe It or Not.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Your Random Solicitor

About two-and-a-half weeks ago I ordered a copy of The Undercroft, issue 1 (read about its development at the creator's blog here).  Being particularly taken with the random lawyer tables, I decided to make one for the consumption of the reader.  Enjoy!

Darmorel Chorster, solicitor
Darmorel is a registered solicitor with the Advocacy and Solicitations Guild in Scandshar.  As a girl, Darmorel had an interest in linguistics as well as history.  As she grew older, her scholarly pursuits turned to current events, rankled as she was by the rampant corruption and apparent lack of equality in her home city.  She was sufficiently motivated to enter into the College of Law at Morgrave University in Sorgforge.

Unfortunately, she found that the tendrils of the Illustrious Menagerie of Peacocks, Scandshar's infamous crime syndicate, are far-reaching, indeed.  Having spent most of her money getting to Sorgforge and gaining admittance to the College of Law, she turned to what she heard was a reputable moneylender.  This moneylender — whom she now knows as a Peacock front — her an offer she couldn't refuse: take the money, and the "interest" on the loan would involve her cooperation with future activities.  Her future legal activities cannot stand against the Illustrious Menagerie of Peacocks, and they further hold some future as-yet-to-be-named "favor" from her.  At the time, particularly for a somewhat naive college student, the deal seemed acceptable — particularly as it was couched in fairly innocuous terms — but she now recognizes the full extent of the circumstances into which she finds herself.  A potential crusader for social justice has been hamstrung by a poor decision in her youth, a fact which grates on her daily.

Despite her compromised values, Darmorel attempts to be unswervingly loyal to her clients, representing them to the fullest extent of the law (and the Law, as an ideal to which she aspires).  She cannot be bought, which will no doubt lead to an interesting dilemma when the Peacocks inevitably come to collect their due.

Darmorel is known as much for her unflappable demeanor and unshakable integrity as she is known for her unique discourse style.  Having studied history and rhetoric at university, as well as magical theory, Solicitor Chorster mixes cultural elements of Elven and Olman discourse as well as bardic techniques into an abstract, allegorical, meandering style that seems initially long-winded to human ears before the components of the argument synergize correctly at the conclusion.  It is not entirely certain if this style of rhetoric will become popular, although it seems to work for her at the moment.

It is less certain how her deal with the Peacocks will fare in the end, but it is likely that her two drives will someday compete.  Will she abandon her principles, or risk death or worse?

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Faelhen

The Faelhen (Elven for "Neutral Eye") is a planar assassin organization.  Based out of a hidden monastery and training school located in the Outlands, the Faelhen are not organized like most assassin's guilds.  Instead of being available for hire, they are devoted to the concept of Balance (being True Neutral as a whole) and work directly for the rilmani.  In addition to whatever tasks their argenach contacts give them, they are believed to somehow monitor various Prime Material Planes to determine when Balance is threatened, allowing them to dispatch assassins to deal with the situation.

(There is some suspicion that the Red Scale Guild of Nerath [Player's Option: Heroes of Shadow, page 16] has somehow fallen under their influence of the Faelhen, as they have similar goals.  However, it is difficult to say; they are obfuscated, possibly deliberately, by the dichotomy between the Great Wheel and the World Axis cosmologies.)

The Faelhen do not stringently revere any gods, although they do recognize and occasionally invoke Chronepsis, the Furies, and Sirrion in their Neutral aspects.

The Faelhen citadel's location is unknown, but is suspected to be somewhere highly defensible, possibly underground.  The fact that some of their members have displayed shadow magic suggests that they are not so close to the Spire as to lose their magical abilities; otherwise, how would they train?

It may look something like this.
The assassins are led by Kalanna Aleanathem, known as the Maikash Thaltria ("Fateslayer Bladedancer") to her pupils.  Evidently centuries old, Kalanna's longevity comes from her stature as a half-elf, half-dragon of concordant lineage.  Although not a cleric of Chronepsis, she keeps a sandclock by her bedside so that she may contemplate her life slipping away.

Kalanna Aleanathem, the Maikash Thaltria
Referees wishing to run Kalanna as an NPC in old school games should assume she is an elf assassin of the maximum level allowed by the game system at hand (ignore elf level restrictions).  She moves at Movement 15ʹ, flies at Movement 30ʹ.  She has a natural armor as per Scale armor and is immune to poison.  At will, she can Detect Balance as per the Druid spell (in systems without this spell, assume she can determine how far from Neutral a character's alignment is, although she cannot expressly determine the alignment in question).  Three times per day, she can use invisibility, as per the spell.  She can claw twice per round (1d4/1d4), and twice per day, she can use her breath weapon — an eight foot long cone of antithetical energy.  Assume antithetical energy deals no damage to Neutral creatures.  Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, and Chaotic Neutral creatures take 2d4 damage, while all other creatures take 4d4 damage.  In games with only Lawful-Neutral-Chaotic alignments, assume Lawful and Chaotic creatures take the full 4d4 damage.

Referees wanting something in the 3.x paradigm can use Pathfinder statistics for Kalanna (and anybody with more Pathfinder/3.x experience than I should feel free to revamp her statistics and equipment).  And yes, I'm aware she breaks the rules in a couple of spots (Neutral assassin, breath weapon).  Strange things happen out in the planes.

Kalanna Aleanathem (CR 21)
XP 409,600
Half-dragon elf rogue 10
Assassin 10
N Medium dragon (elf, half-dragon)
Init +9; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; low-light vision; Perception +26
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DEFENSE
————————————————————
AC 27, touch 20, flat-footed 21 (+7 armor, +5 Dex, +1 dodge, +2 natural)
hp 118 (20d8+20)
Fort +7, Ref +19, Will +7; +2 vs enchantments
Defensive Abilities evasion, improved uncanny dodge, trap sense +3, +5 vs. poison; Immune paralysis, poison, sleep
————————————————————
OFFENSE
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Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.
Melee +3 stalking dagger +22/+17/+12 (1d4+6/19–20/×2 plus poison)
Melee claw/claw/bite +18/+18/+18 (1d4+4/1d4+4/1d6+4)
Ranged +1 called dagger +20/+15/+12 (1d4+6/19–20/×2 plus poison)
Special Attacks angel of death 1/day, breath weapon 1/day (30-ft. cone, 6d8 antithetical*, DC 11), death attack (DC 25), quiet death, sneak attack +10d6, swift death 1/day, true death (DC 25)
————————————————————
TACTICS
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Before Combat The assassin uses Stealth or Disguise to get close to her prey so she can study and strike with her death attack.
During Combat Using her fast stealth to rush into the fray, the assassin attacks the most threatening target using bleeding strike. Next, she moves out of melee to soften foes with throwing dagger attacks before reentering melee.
————————————————————
STATISTICS
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Str 18, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 20, Wis 12, Cha 15
Base Atk +14; CMB +18; CMD +34
Feats Critical Focus, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Mobility, Shadow Strike, Sickening Critical, Skill Focus (Stealth), Spring Attack, Stealthy, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (dagger)
Skills Acrobatics +28, Bluff +15, Climb +27, Craft (alchemy) +28, Diplomacy +15, Disable Device +18, Disguise +25, Escape Artist +30, Linguistics +18, Perception +26, Sense Motive +14, Sleight of Hand +28, Stealth +36, Swim +17
Languages Abyssal, Aquan, Auran, Celestial, Common, Elven, Draconic, Dwarven, Goblin, Ignan, Infernal, Orc, Rilmani, Sylvan, Terran, Undercommon
SQ hidden weapons, hide in plain sight, poison use, rogue talents (bleeding attack +10, combat trick, fast stealth, feat, surprise attack), trapfinding +5
Gear +5 improved shadow leather armor, +3 stalking dagger, +1 called dagger, bag of holding II, ring of feather falling, ring of mind shielding, hat of disguise, minor cloak of displacement, black lotus extract (1 dose), tears of death (2 doses), oil of taggit (2 doses), dust of tracelessness (1 dose), 2,070 gp

* The antithetical energy breath weapon deals the full 6d8 damage to Lawful Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Evil, and Chaotic Evil creatures; 3d8 damage to Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, and Chaotic Neutral creatures; and no damage to True Neutral creatures.

Referees wanting a D&D fourth edition version of Kalanna can use the statistics below.  Her vial of poison can represent any poison the DM sees fit to use; assume she is trained in any of them, including the assassin's poisons from Heroes of Shadow.

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Cenobites of the Pleasure in Pain, the Hierophants of the Order of the Gash

Unsurprisingly, this was inspired by too many recent conversations about Hellraiser.  I decided I wanted a faction comparable to the Cenobites (also at The Other Wiki) in my D&D 4e game.  Here's what happened:

The Cenobites of the Pleasure in Pain, also known as the Hierophants of the Order of the Gash, is a shadar-kai cult of personality gathered around an entity known as the Architect of Pleasure and Pain, or alternately, the Engineer of Pleasure and Pain.  (Occasionally, this entity is called "Leviathan" for unknown reasons.)

The origins of this group are unknown.  Anyone's best guess is that the Cenobites (or Surgeons, as they are also known — they seem to be quite enamored of epithets) form from a confluence of three factors.  The first, is the shadar-kai themselves — when the shadar-kai first arrived in the Shadowfell, they found that they would fade away without strong emotions.  As such, they took to the extremes of living to maintain their own identities.

The second factor is a now-disbanded Sigil faction called the Society of Sensation.  Before they disbanded after the Faction War, the Sensates believed in experiencing all things to achieve enlightenment.  Despite their reputation as hedonists, they sought to experience all available experiences — positive and negative.  Although the Sensates as a group disbanded after the Lady of Pain's decree, some keep their traditions alive.  It is not precisely clear how a group of shadar-kai came across the beliefs of the Sensates, but the shadar-kai would easily take to their worldview of empirical thought and experiential enlightenment.

The third factor is the Architect itself.  This entity is apparently a somewhat potent baatezu, as those shadar-kai pledged to it are almost universally warlocks.  The Architect appears as a striking, sensual male humanoid with pale skin and leather clothing.  This figure appears to be constantly in a mixture of ecstasy and agony from the various hooks, pins, and piercings worked through its flesh.

Whatever their origins, the Cenobites typically keep to themselves in their own demiplane forged partially from the Shadowfell and partially from the Nine Hells.  However, they sometimes emerge to explore the boundaries of experience, and to proselytize their experiences to others.  While they consider themselves evangelists and explorers, most communities encountering the Cenobites consider them to be invaders and fiends of the worst sort, arcane torturers who typically leave their victims dead or worse.  The Marquis d'Ennui of Sorgtomb has a standing bounty on any Cenobites found in his domain.

The Cenobites usually travel between realms through the use of arcane puzzle boxes provided by the Architect.

Unbeknownst to the Cenobites, the Architect is actually an aspect of Belial, Lord of the Fourth and Lord of Pain and Sufferings.  Belial is using the Cenobites as a cult to further his goals, and also as a militant order in case he needs to counteract any plans of his scheming daughter, Fierna.  It is possible that Fierna controls a group similar to the Cenobites.

Playing a Cenobite

Cenobites are universally shadar-kai (Dragon 372, page 5) and almost always have the Sensate theme (Dragon 414).  They are usually of the warlock class (Player's Handbook), although some may not be directly bound to the Architect by contract.  Some Cenobites learn how to use a spiked chain; those who do take the Spiked Chain Training Feat (Dragon 372, page 11) and may take the associated Novice, Expert, and Specialist Feats as well.

Cenobites' warlock powers usually manifest as barbed chains appearing from their bodies or nearby shadows.

It is, of course, possible to play a former Cenobite (much like the typical repentant warlock character).  In such a case, the character is likely being hunted by his or her former comrades.

NPC shadar-kai appear, among other places, in Monster Manual and Monster Manual 2.

Enterprising DMs could use probably adapt the Cenobites for use in other editions of D&D.  The shadar-kai appear in the 3e Fiend Folio, while warlocks appear in Complete Arcane.  It is also possible that they could created using the rules for magic-users, clerics, elves, and suchlike in earlier editions.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Better Than Any Man: Unknown Armies Conversion Notes, Part 2

A quick update: the Unknown Armies excursion into Better Than Any Man continues to go hilariously.  Some bandits died, a clockwork robot died, and a lot of PCs quite nearly died.  (Read about it here.)

Since the PCs are quickly exiting Thüngen next session, it seems probable (although not completely certain) that they will miss Dittmar, the bandit leader.  He gets a roughly two sentence description in Better Than Any Man, but since his potential presence seemed notable, I gave him full statistics in Unknown Armies.  So, without further ado...

Dittmar

Personality: Two-Face from Batman.  He seems like a somewhat suave gangster, but his reliance on chance tends to add a little capriciousness and viciousness to his demeanor.
Obsession: Power.  Money's part of it, but Dittmar really likes the control his position brings.  His reliance on chance is just to keep things interesting.  He's likely to become a postmodern Entropomancer if he's not careful.
Wound Points: 65

Rage Stimulus: Messing with his dice.  He will seriously go apeshit.
Fear Stimulus: (The Unnatural) Predestination.  Really, anything that makes him feel boxed-in or otherwise out of control really bothers him.
Noble Stimulus: Gamblers.  Dittmar has a soft spot for people who roll their own bones, and might join them for a game or cut them some slack.

Body: 65 (Toughass)
General Athletics 25%, Hold Your Liquor 20%, Struggle 50%
Speed: 60 (Ready to Move)
Dodge 35%, Horseback Riding 15%, Initiative 30%, Missile Weapons 50%
Mind: 45 (Pragmatic)
Conceal 20%, General Education 15%, Notice 30%, Strategy 25%
Soul: 50 (Superstitious)
Charm 30%, Intimidation 40%, Lying 35%, Roll the Bones 15%

Violence:  7 Hardened, 3 Failed
Unnatural: 1 Hardened, 1 Failed
Helplessness: 0 Hardened, 0 Failed
Isolation:  0 Hardened, 0 Failed
Self:  2 Hardened, 1 Failed

Possessions: Light armor, dirk (+3), short sword (+6), crossbow (maximum damage 50), wheellock pistol (maximum damage 80).  He also has his lucky dice and 8 ducats on him.

Notes: Roll the Bones is a skill Dittmar rolls every time he rolls his dice to determine an outcome.  With a successful Roll the Bones check, Dittmar gains a hunch (UA, pg. 7).

Friday, November 15, 2013

Better Than Any Man: Unknown Armies Conversion Notes

I'm not going to post everything as yet, but here are a couple of my scattered notes.  I'll probably put them in a pdf or something when I'm finished running Better Than Any Man in Unknown Armies.  Obviously, these notes assume familiarity with both games.  The following notes also reference the Unknown Armies books The Ascension of the Magdalene, Hush Hush, and Postmodern Magick.

Willibald Schwartz

Obsession: Conquering death.  Death is a form of spiritual alchemy.  By controlling the doorway, you control that potential.
Wound Points: 45

Rage Stimulus: Pointing out that he might be insane or deluded.  Schwartz might be a murderous psychopath, but he really doesn't enjoy being reminded of it.
Fear Stimulus: (Isolation) Dying of old age.
Noble Stimulus: Helping children.  Willibald crafts art of the bodies of young children because that's the highest gift he can bestow to one killed so young.  He can't help it if his glass tiger gets confused from time to time.

Body: 45 (Living Well)
General Athletics 25%, Hold Your Liquor 20%, Struggle 25%, Work Without Rest 20%
Speed: 50 (Steady Hand)
Dodge 20%, Horseback Riding 25%, Initiative 25%, Taxidermy 35%
Mind: 75 (Learned)
Conceal 35%, Notice 40%, Occult Correspondences 60%
Soul: 90 (Transcendent)
Avatar: The Magus 60%, Charm 30%, Lying 50%, Magick: Thanatomancy 70%

Violence: 7 Hardened 2 Failed
Unnatural: 7 Hardened 3 Failed
Helplessness: 2 Hardened 2 Failed
Isolation: 6 Hardened 1 Failed
Self: 4 Hardened 5 Failed

Possessions: Rapier (+3 damage), dagger (+3 damage), various fine clothes and ritual components

Notes: Occult Correspondences is Willibald's General Education skill.  It also covers his general knowledge of folklore and occultism.
Avatar: The Magus originally appears in The Ascension of the Magdalene, page 53.  Magick: Thanatomancy originally appears in Postmodern Magick, pages 111-115.
In addition to his own magickal prowess, Willibald Schwartz has access to the rituals Song of Ancient Days (detailed below) and Fires of Pure Will (Hush Hush, page 47).

Schwartz's Glass Tiger

Wound Points: 120

Body: 120 (Savage)
General Athletics 50%, Rip and Tear 65%
Speed: 80 (Swfit)
Dodge 35%, Initiative 40%, Sneak 70%
Mind: 30 (Cunning)
Notice 50%
Soul: 50 (Weird)

Notes: The Glass Tiger's exceptional Body stat grants a +3 to all melee damage.  This is in addition to the beast's teeth and claws, which also grant a +3 to damage.  The glass tiger reduces damage equivalent to heavy armor, removing the +3 damage for sharpness and the +3 damage for heaviness in hand-to-hand combat while also reducing rolled damage by three-fourths.  Guns are deal hand-to-hand damage, but aren't reduced but the tiger's armor.  Magick deals damage normally, although it's not made of flesh, so Magick: Epideromancy blasts do nothing.

Song of Ancient Days (significant ritual)

Note: This is the Unknown Armies version of Schwartz's Journey to the Past spell.  In my version of Better Than Any Man, Schwartz was kind enough to give the PCs all the components to enact the ritual, including a copy of the Fires of Pure Will ritual (a charge-building ritual).  Your Schwartz may not be so accommodating.

Power: significant

Cost: 7 significant charges

Effect: The caster and a group of up to eight individuals participating in the ritual are sent back in time to July 14, 10,000 B.C.  They are sent to the same point in time, although they appear in the same geographic location they left.  (So, if the caster casts this ritual in downtown London, he'll end up in the middle of downtown London...before it's ever built.)  To the outside observer, no time appears to pass — the ritualists appear to flicker for a fraction of a second after the ritual ends.  However, the casters are cast back to 10,000 B.C. for an amount of time equal to ten times the sum of the dice.  As such, a caster rolling a 45 will spend 90 minutes in the past, while a caster rolling a 12 will only spend 30 minutes in the past.
Being sent to the past is a rank-7 Unnatural check.

Ritual Action: This ritual requires a simple stone hammer, particularly of the sort that would have been used in the Neolithic.  The caster should use this hammer to break a sandclock, shouting, "Ula atolnay!" with each hammer blow.  When the clock is smashed, the caster should use the hammer to draw the seal of Prince Seere (a goetic demon) in the spilled sand while reciting a chant in Latin depicting a litany of the demon's praises and epithets.  Once finished, the caster should then use the hammer to smash a sundial, deface a calendar, and destroy a seal of King Philip II Augustus.  Again, with each hammer blow, the caster should shout, "Ula atolnay!"  The ritual completes with the final hammer blow.

Note: For easy reference, Prince Seere's seal looks like this:


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Persons of Interest: Loturik the Bound, Kolyarut

Loturik the Bound

Loturik the Bound is one of the Inevitables, order-aligned extraplanar constructs originating from Mechanus (and thusly making them spiritual kin to the Modrons).  Specifically, Loturik is a Kolyarut, a type of Inevitable that hunts oathbreakers.  They are known to be the most personable of the Inevitables because they will actually deign to speak to their chosen prey, and may even attempt to negotiate a settlement (so, rather than killing the oathbreaker, they may simply convince the person to uphold the broken bargain).

In this case, Loturik the Bound is occasionally seen around Sigil, and is identified as a member of the Planar Trade Consortium.  Scholars can think of no reason why a Kolyarut would willingly serve any authority less than its duty, but rumors suggest that Loturik, as his moniker suggests, is bound to the will of the Planar Trade Consortium.

Rumors suggest that no less authority than Estevan himself (an oni mage and a key leader of the Consortium) tricked this rogue Kolyarut into forging an oath with the wily magus.  If this is true, Loturik is bound to serve because it cannot break its own oath without defying its base nature.

Loturik is currently thought to be gathering adventuring parties to help cultivate the town called Skyfall in a grim and distant Prime Material World known as Carcosa.  Special attention is to be paid to the ruins below the town, as there is apparently wealth to be had down there.

(Also, the above image was found on http://www.themistway.com/Ravenloft-Session14-DMC.html at the phrase, "human-shaped clockwork automaton.")

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Oathsworn King

Since I just listed a bunch of things to kill you, maybe I'll give you something helpful?

Maybe.

The other day, The Wisdom Frog Croaks gave us (well, really, gave MONSTROUS TELEVISION) a cursed monarch known as the Oathsworn King.

Go ahead and read the description.  I'll wait.

So, after reading that, the Oathsworn King struck me as the sort of creature that would be willing to help you (assuming, of course, that he thought you were a lost subject).

As such, I figured I'd give him companion statistics for D&D 4e (because that's what I'm playing).

Naturally, you'd have to do a little finagling with the statistics for when he inevitably turns on the PCs, but that's neither here nor there, is it?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Return of the Son of Remnant

Ladies and gentlemen, meet E. M. Lamb's newest Carcosa character:

David Bowie and Sean Connery had a crotch-bulge-off.
Who won?  The viewers.
Why does he need a new one?  Well, I'll put the whole story up on Obsidian Portal shortly, but it was the most pimp-ass thing I've seen in a long while.

His character (Shako of the Wastes) and Nicole's character (Lilimuth Yogthoth) go to visit The Incomparable Crown to establish some sort of accord, not realizing it's a village of secret cultists.  They eat, the food is poisoned, Lilimuth falls asleep in her stew, Shako doesn't.  Immediately, he's on his feet — he grabs The Incomparable Crown and holds the fork to his neck.  The Incomparable Crown doesn't put up any resistance as Shako tells him to start walking.  Shako's child-slaves are dragging Lilimuth's unconscious body.  There's a little knot of people forming around them, and before Shako can react, one of them lashes out with a spear, killing him instantly.

Lilimuth manages to escape with the help of his slaves, and then both she and his new character die in the caverns beneath Remnant.

And that's how E. M. Lamb lost two characters in one game session.  So next time, he'll be playing the Green Hornet up there with a shiny new raygun.

Monday, July 2, 2012

El Tiburón, the Bulette of Scandshar!

So, a while back, one of my associates posted this:

A half-orc monk luchadore annihilates a dragon.  Click to enlarge.
So, the other day, I was messing with companion characters for fourth edition, and I was inspired to make this guy.  He might adventure with the Shields of the Sorrowfell, he might not.  It remains to be seen.

As written, he is a suitable companion character for parties of level 8-10.

So, without further ado, I present El Tiburón:


Astute observers will note that his Grab is nothing special, but I included the grapple action for ease of reference.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Persons of Interest: She of the Dying Light

Original photograph from: http://undercheese101.deviantart.com/art/Cave-Girl-Test-83913843

She of the Dying Light (a Neutral 4th-level Fighter) is the young leader of a small tribe of Purple Men.  Forced from their native village after the attack of a giant dolm ooze, covered in scaly eyespots and with a single, cytophagous maw, they fled to the mountains west of the Blighted Lands and south of the Radioactive Desert.

Somehow avoiding the tender mercies of mad Azathoth cultists, ravenous spawn of Shub Niggurath, and the Jale followers of the Omnipotent King, the ragtag tribesmen managed to find a cavern which has apparently formed around the ruins of a crashed Space Alien ship.  Strange monsters and degenerate, mutated Space Aliens haunt the ruins, so they have not moved too far into the ship's bulk.  They have managed to scrounge some alien technology and set up some loose barricades, so they remain hidden and defended for the moment.

She of the Dying Light was chosen for the role of tribal chieftain due to her psychic talent (a family trait) and vibrant red hair, which marks her as chosen of the Sun.  Although She of the Dying Light lost her mother in the ooze's attack (her mother was among the first to react, and immediately lunged at the creature with her spear — many believe her decisive action and noble sacrifice allowed so many to escape), her aged father is still among the living.  A potent sorcerer and psychic, the old man is blind — those who gaze into his eyes might see the afterimage of the Sun's corona, indicating that he stared at an eclipse.  Among the tribe, they believe this contributes to his sorcerous power.

In the upper levels of the ruined vessel, the tribesmen have found a strange, alien gate.  There is a rumor that the tribe has established contact with an extradimensional civilization, but no one knows for certain.

Spawn of Shub Niggurath Bonus: The nameless creature that attacked their village still lives, as the natives' Stone Age technology was no match for its impenetrable blubber.  If encountered, the creature is a large, scaly, dolm ooze.  It bears four eyespots and a single circular gaping maw.  It is immune to normal weapons.  Its relevant statistics are AC 12, MV 120′ [land], HD 5, and it is Chaotic.  She of the Dying Light would probably be grateful to any who can defeat the creature that killed so many of her brethren, including her mother.

Evil Sorcery Bonus: Here are some Carcosan sorcerers from Gorgonmilk.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Roll out the blogroll...

...you'll have a blogroll of fun.

Here's some stuff you might find interesting.

Goblinoid Games has an IndieGoGo campaign for Starships & Spacemen, a 1978 RPG based on Star Trek.  They're reprinting it to be compatible with Labyrinth Lord.

Richard's Dystopian Pokeverse (the mastermind behind Carcosa Wacky Racestalks about D&D as an early modern game, riffing off this post at Dreams at the Lich House.

Lurking Rhythmically (y'know, the gun-brony RPG blog behind Unknown Ponies) has a post about 7th Sea and Julie D'Aubigny, noted opera singer, swashbuckler, and bisexual.

Friday, April 20, 2012

All in the Family

So in Crux of Eternity, I have two cities primarily run by noble families.  Sorgforge, which takes traits of Sharn (basically enough traits for me to run Seekers of the Ashen Crown without changing much), is run by a coalition of seven noble families in tandem with the Citadel.

And then there's Scandshar.  Scandshar is at once the most prosperous jewel and the most shameful secret of the Sorrowfell Plains, as it is the city with the strongest economy, but it holds the seat of the area's slave trade.

Which is to say, it has any slave trade at all.

Slavery is legal in Scandshar, and you don't have to be a conspiracy wingnut to hypothesize that the mob runs everything.  They don't, but it's a pretty safe bet that they run enough.

In any case, I've been wanting to write up the thirteen noble families of Scandshar, and so I figured I'd do so here.  Why?  Because you might see something you like and decide to roll with it.

No more foreplay; we'll start straight away.

House Anghelescu

Colloquial Name: The Scarlet House, (vulgar) The Craven House, (temporarily) The House of Fools

Influences: Dracula.  Ravenloft.  Clan Tremere.  Every creepy little horror-movie village with too much mist and burgomasters wearing pickelhauben.  (Knowing PCs, though, if anyone ever played a character from this house, at least one person would take the Slavic aspect and run with it to play Borat.)

Background: House Anghelescu is a rather secretive noble house.  Unlike most houses, Anghelescu does very little adoption (and the old rumor is that you have to be ritually slain as part of the initiation ceremony).  Strangely, those adopted by the house slowly but surely adopt some of the notable characteristics of its inhabitants, such as pale skin and red hair.

House Anghelescu is known for its pomp and circumstance, as well as a rather decadent lifestyle.  In many ways, they're the quintessential stereotype of a noble house, but they keep to their duties and manage to avoid the worst of everyone's ire.

House Anghelescu is the current House of Fools, which requires them to retreat to their ward and withdraw from politics for the year.

Rumors: The most pervasive and persistent rumor — almost common knowledge, really — is that they're Vryloka.  (If you haven't heard of them, Vryloka are living vampires, a recent racial addition to D&D 4e; read more about them here and here.)  Anybody who accepts this rumor adds a further level of speculation — how can you trust these nobles to uphold the law of the land when they owe fealty to each other and the Red Witch?

House Brissot

Colloqial Name: The House of the Righteous, (vulgar) The House of Do-Gooders

Influences: The abolitionist movement.  Dune's House Atreides.  The Wayne family.

Background: House Brissot is probably the most beloved noble house, and the one that has won the hearts and minds of the people.  They are a philanthropist house, best known for charitable donations and good works.  They have helped establish clerical and medical orders to keep the citizens in sound health and body. They help the impoverished.  They contribute to the public welfare.

They do have one problem, though.  They're staunchly — and more importantly, openly — opposed to slavery.  They lobby in the Council of Lords and make public speeches about the subject.  Occasionally, they purchase slaves for the express purpose of freeing them or adopting them.

This makes them popular with some, but unpopular with the other noble houses.  Still, what are they going to do?  Attack a fellow noble house and risk a populist uprising?

That seems about as likely as it sounds.

Rumors: House Brissot has the best reputation of the lot, but even they have whispered dealings (although supporters claim these are lies seeded by the other noble houses).  Some claim that the slaves they purchase and free are never actually seen again, while those they adopt are just brainwashed slaves.  Others claim that their philanthropy is a ruse, and they are secretly diabolists or necromancers or some such.  Other rumors suggest the complete opposite: House Brissot hopes to overthrow the other houses and lead Scandshar into total anarchy.

House Chilikov

Colloqial Name: The House of Steel, (vulgar) The Heartless House

Influences: Soviet propaganda.  Metropolis.  Anything with cool robots, really.

Background: The Chilikov weren't always Warforged.  Once upon a time, they were a warlike house of humans, dwarves, and the like, poised to overcome obstacles with military might.  The family was already dwindling by the time of the Cackledread War — most people think good, old-fashioned fertility problems were to blame — but they contributed soldiers and their own Warforged to the war effort.

At the end, only the patriarch, an old dwarven artificer by the name of Stalbek, remained.  Tired of the politics and intrigues of the noble houses, Stalbek retired, leaving the Warforged in charge.  He left for parts unknown, likely in the Hoarfrost Mountains.

These days, the Warforged help carry out the industrial functions of the city.  Nobody has ever had trouble with House Chilikov, and indeed, they are considered the least duplicitous of the noble houses.  They also don't typically hold slaves, as they apparently do not understand why anyone would use reluctant workers to do important tasks.

Astute observers note that they do not oppose slavery; they simply do not understand how it is efficient.

Rumors: Common rumor suggests that old man Stalbek still controls the house from behind the scenes.  He either went into hiding so he could remove himself as a target for his enemies, or to add a level of deniability between himself and his plots.  After all, if his patsies don't comprehend his plans, the nobody can interrogate them.

House Claasen

Colloquial Name: The House of Fate, (vulgar) The House of the Doomed

Influences: Dark Shadows.  Every creepy, New England family from H. P. Lovecraft.

Background: Despite the name, Fate is rarely kind to House Claasen.  They are an ancient family, possibly the oldest in Scandshar (if true, they may very well be the founders of the city).  They control the shipping lanes, and so have an important role in the Scandshar's commerce.

And yet, many strange things are said about House Claasen.  Some claim there are family members too deformed to see daylight, or that there are secret and ancient rituals that take place in the depths of their estates.  Some claim the elders are no longer human; some even say that the original bloodline founders are still around, either existing as undead, or undying sorcerers, or disembodied spirits, or an amalgam of grey matter not unlike an illithid Elder Brain.

Who knows, really?  Like many of the families, the Claasen are quite secretive.

Rumors: Rumors are rampant that House Claasen labors under some ancient curse — maybe from the land, maybe from the stars, or possibly even from the first slaves who lost their freedom in Scandshar.  It would certainly explain a lot of things while raising further questions.

House de Rais

Colloqial Name: The House of Velvet, (vulgar) The House of Killers

Influences: Hunter: the Vigil's Ashwood Abbey.  Gilles de Rais.  The Most Dangerous Game.

Background: House de Rais is considered the most decadent of the houses.  They are known for wild orgies, insane parties, and eccentric behavior that leaves them the talk of upper class salons and low class taverns throughout Scandshar.

House de Rais is particularly feared by the citizens due to the rumors surrounding them — known to be incredibly jaded, House de Rais engages in increasingly twisted pleasures to amuse themselves.  Rumors suggest that they will hunt their own slaves or even strangers off the street, staging bloody contests in the darkened alleyways of Scanshar, or the countryside beyond the city walls.  Some even suggest that they are diabolists and steal human sacrifices by night.

The city always seems to breathe a little easier when House de Rais is nominated for the House of Fools, as the night seems just a little safer without the House of Killers on the prowl.

Rumors: House de Rais is primarily known by its rumors, as there is precious little evidence to suggest they are anything other than cynical pleasure-seekers.  Still, the rumors continue to fly, and the occasional mutilated body is found in the vicinity of their Ward.  One of the most striking rumors is that they perform these ghastly rites not out of ennui or devil worship, but because they are desperately trying to keep something locked away.  Similarly, some say that they cultivate the rumors themselves so as to hide a true agenda.

House Ehrenfest

Colloquial Name: The Inspired House, (vulgar) The House of Torturers

Influences: Frankenstein.  Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth.  Steampunk.  Mad scientists of all stripes.

Background: House Ehrenfest is continuously engaged in scholarly research, but unlike Gorupa, Helltalon, or Silversgleaming, they're all about field testing and experimentation.  A collection of Artificers, builders, Grease Monkeys, magicians, and tinkerers, House Ehrenfest aids the town's commerce through constant innovation.  They build the blueprints of Scandshar's future infrastructure, they develop new magic items and new technologies, and they keep Scandshar the shining jewel of the Sorrowfell Plains.

Of course, the price of genius carries its own set of challenges.  This isn't true across the board, but the constant pressure to study and compete leaves precious little time for the Ehrenfest to socialize.  A notable number of Ehrenfest probably rank on the modern autism spectrum.  And some members have trouble understanding why others find their experiments — such as dabbling in necromancy — distasteful.

There's a persistent claim that Ehrenfest maintains its own calendar, which they call the Circle.  Unlike the Dozenmonth, the Circle follows mathematical principles rather than astrological ones.

Rumors: The annals of history are rife with Ehrenfest dealing in the black arts, and at least one lich haunts the family tree.  Additionally, persistent rumors suggest that some Ehrenfest will subject their slaves to horrid experiments, or kidnap people off the street.  It is also worth noting that while they may not be the most sociable sorts, they are still masterminds of ruthless intrigues.

House Gorupa

Colloquial Name: The House of the Dead, (vulgar) The House of Liches

Influences: A hodgepodge of Shaiva rites, Thuggee cults, and death rituals from all over.

Background: Nobody knows when the changeover happened, but at some point, House Gorupa went from death cultists to being dead.  Revenants occur when a sapient being swears fealty to the Raven Queen, goddess of death, upon its death.  They reincarnate as pale humanoids with minimal memories of their previous incarnation, and they go about their business.  Like mythological revenants, they have some sort of agenda, although this typically comes from the Raven Queen (although not always — some Revenants owe fealty to whatever force raised them while others owe fealty to no one).

House Gorupa continues with the same intrigues as the rest of the noble houses, but they practice private death rites.  Back in the Cackledread War, when House Marantu's ward was razed by marauding gnolls, House Gorupa immediately abandoned their ward to live in the ruins.  They still live in the slums, occupying the rotting graveyard of Scandshar, plotting deathless plots.

Rumors: An entire noble house that theoretically pledges fealty to the goddess of death?  That's hardly disconcerting at all.

House Helltalon

Colloqial Name: The House of Penitence, (vulgar) The Damned House

Influences: D&D 4e's Bael Turath.  Hunter: the Vigil's Lucifuge.  The typical penitent sinner schtick.

Background: Despite the fearsome name, House Helltalon is generally well-regarded among Scandshar's natives, although they are not entirely trusted.

Because they're all tieflings, of course.

House Helltalon is apparently an offshoot of some noble house in old Bael Turath.  After the fall of the Turathi empire, they scattered, finally settling in Scandshar.  Many think they may be the wealthiest of noble houses, having built their wealth atop anything they retained from the old empire.

House Helltalon helps bankroll Scandshar's libraries, as well as the temples in the Temphill district. With the aid of House Brissot, they keep the city's citizens fed and healthy.  They still practice slavery, but their slaves are typically among the best-treated slaves of the lot, and are practically considered members of the family.

Strangely, those who are adopted into the house are typically found to have infernal blood somewhere in the family tree.  Indeed, many such prospective family members bear strange birthmarks or deformities (like tieflings prior to 4e).  Typically, they can easily interbreed with tieflings and tend to "breed true" in a generation or so.

Rumors: Isn't it obvious?  There are pretty long-standing claims of diabolism and demonology amongst the scholars and ascetics of House Helltalon.  Some claim that the slaves are well-treated only because they are brainwashed, or because mistreated slaves are never seen.  Others claim that House Helltalon is deliberately seeking to adopt those with infernal blood, so as to strengthen their lineages.  One rumor notes that Duchy Jepson was built on known ruins of the dragonborn's Arkhosian Empire, and suggests that Helltalon deliberately came to the Sorrowfell Plains to pilfer the ruins.  Secret archaeological expeditions supposedly occur so that the Damned House can torture the ancient dragonborn souls of Arkhosia beyond the veil of death itself.

House Kardec

Colloquial Name: The Illuminated House, (vulgar) The Slumbering House

Influences: Doctor Manhattan.  The Brotherhood of Mutants.  The eugenics movement.  Probably more than a little House Harkonnen.

Background: House Kardec values the perfection of the self.  For quite some time, House Kardec has trained its adepts in psionic powers, suggesting the members of the house perfect body and mind.  Exercise, biofeedback, and psychic mastery are all drilled into all young Kardecs.

Apart from giving House Kardec an ego that rivals House Silversgleaming, House Kardec does maintain a psychic academy as well as gymnasia and all manner of similar things.  They try to be movers and shakers, a part of the world but apart from it.

House Kardec adopts the fewest new members of any other house, primarily because they wish to maintain their psychic supremacy.  Inbreeding is rampant among the family, although they try to intermarry distantly whenever possible.  They typically only adopt those displaying psychic talent; it is suggested that they pay families who add new blood to House Kardec, leading many desperate families to present their children for testing.

Strangely, many members of House Kardec appear almost as perfected specimens of their respective races.  Scholars in the know suspect that Kardec has obtained a copy of the rite of Awakening and are forming their own cadre of Elan.  (The Awakening and the Elan are described in D&D 4e's Psionic Power, pg. 124-126 and 142-144, among other sources.  Those without the book should check out their entry on the d20srd.org as well as their entry on the D&D Wiki, both of which describe their 3e incarnations.  Note that the elan are not born; they are deliberately made through the rite of Awakening.)

Rumors: House Kardec is so arrogant and separated from their humanity that its members barely recognize sapient life anymore.  The whispered claim is that they are decadent and cruel partially from ennui and partially because they are turning into something other than human or demihuman.  Some also whisper that the high number of Elan in their midst is tainted by a similarly high number of Foulborn (that is, people with Far Realm taint in their blood).

House MacBeth

Colloquial Name: The House of Silence, (vulgar) The House of Blood

Influences: The Tragedy of Macbeth.  The Godfather.  The Sopranos.  General Hospital.

Background: House MacBeth doesn't have the mortuary duties of House Gorupa, but they perform a lot of other tasks regarding infrastructure and sanitation.  The other houses sometimes look down on them, although it is typically tongue-in-cheek — it does not do to offend the nobles of House MacBeth.

Why?

Funny story, that.  Bad things happen to House MacBeth's enemies.  People tend to suffer accidents, or go missing.

See, it's a pretty open secret that House MacBeth has their own thing happening, and that they are more than capable of keeping it together.  Of the other noble houses, they are the most likely to adopt, but those who are adopted are typically drawn into MacBeth's rackets.

Rumors: House MacBeth always has some pretty wild rumors — if a prominent citizen leaves town for more than a fortnight, some wag always says that MacBeth whacked him — but the whole "organized crime syndicate" thing is pretty much an open secret.  The most prevalent rumor these days is that the Illustrious Menagerie of Peacocks would not leave a rival alone, and that they probably oversee all of House MacBeth's rackets.

House Silversgleaming

Colloquial Name: The House of Enchantment, (vulgar) The House of Arrogance

Influences: High elves everywhere.  Beauxbatons.

Background: House Silverslgeaming is better than you.

No, seriously.  House Silversgleaming is composed primarily of eladrin (that's D&D 4e high elves, not the celestial beings of 2e and 3e), and it shows.  They are true heirs to the aristocracy, and are more likely to spend their leisure time practicing magic, swordplay, or some other art rather than engaging in debauchery.

Although they manage to do plenty of that, too.

House Silversgleaming typically only adopts members of other fey races, such as elves, gnomes, and so forth.  They are known to particularly look down upon House Zantaal (for being monsters) and House Weogora (for being nouveau riche).  The long average lifespan of the family gives them a different perspective on events — their plans are more intricate, but take longer to reach fruition.  It doesn't bother them that they are the House of Fools for an entire year, but that they are the House of Fools every thirteen years — it is frequent enough to the fey mind to be quite annoying.

Rumors: House Silversgleaming has the typical diabolist/demonologist rumor that tends to follow families with an arcane bent.  Some also claim that they're attempting to enact a grand ritual to shake the nature of the planes.  Others claim that they have a Ring of Three Wishes — one of the few left, certainly — which they hold as a trump card.  One particularly odd rumor is that they are all secretly Gruumsh cultists.

House Weogora

Colloquial Name: The Novel House, (vulgar) The House of Children

Influences: Nouveau riche.  Anything written by P. G. Wodehouse.

Background: The founders of House Weogora are all foreigners, being Nerathi officers shipped to the Sorrowfell Plains as part of the war effort during the Cackledread War.  When the war ended, many of these officers were left in a very odd position — the military campaigns in the Sorrowfell were very successful, but Nerath still lost the war.  There were no accolades from the Emperor, and no home to which they could return.

Fast forward a couple of years.  These veterans typically had a little bit of coin from the war, and they supplemented their income with dungeon delves and the various odd jobs the Sorrowfell needed in the aftermath.  Since House Marantu was destroyed during the war, and House Gorupa abandoned their ward to live in the ruins, there was an open position in Scandshar's Chamber of Lords.

House Weogora filled that position.

In the roughly fifty years since, the uncouth veterans of the Cackledread War raised their heirs to be genteel aristocrats.  They're still seen as arrogant bumblers and upstarts by the other noble families of the city, but nobody can deny that their aid helped Scandshar's recovery after the war.

They aren't as decadent as some of the noble families, but they do have a reputation as layabouts and Hooray Henrys for a reason.

Rumors: Oddly, House Weogora triggers some of the worst rumors of the lot — people either say nasty things because of their low-born origins, or they assume a hidden agenda.  House Weogora is putting up an act; they're either Moriarty or the Scarlet Pimpernel.  All members of House Weogora are kidney-eating diabolists.  House Weogora secretly controls the other houses.

House Zantaal

Colloquial Name: The Primal House, (vulgar) The House of Monsters

Influences: Sword-and-sorcery without the humanocentric trappings.  Think of bugbears and hobgoblins acting as characters from Kull or Conan or He-Man or John Carter and you'll be okay.

Background: The Zantaal are a noble house containing what is sometimes called the "monstrous humanoids."  They still retain ties to their savage roots — they are among the most notable practitioners of primal magic in the city and possibly in the region (that last is a pretty tall order, but you have to sell yourself, right?) — but they stand in Parliament and debate with the best of them.  Nobody's really sure if being the embodiment of primal, humanoid hindbrain fears is a boon or bane to their ambitions, but then again, you try figuring that out when a mongrelman is shouting at you about tort reform.

Not so easy, is it?

Rumors: According to rumor, the Zantaal plan on overthrowing humanoid rule in Scandshar, establishing the goblinoids, orcs, and suchlike as the dominant races.  Some truly paranoid types offer one obvious piece of evidence: how often do you see goblin or orc slaves versus human or elf slaves?  (Some people quietly suggest "market pressure," because what rich guy wants to get served by a hulking bugbear over a graceful elf?)

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Start Your Engines!

(source: http://ericbelisle.com/weblogs/2009/07/06/add-riders/)
So, as previously noted, I'm all about Richard Guy's Carcosa Wacky Races.

In fact, I'm playing!  Taking a page from Jeff Rients' book, here's my guy.

Haakon Moonarm, Scourge of the Old Ones




Haakon is a Bone Man from grim Carcosa.  Apparently, he's got some weird birthmark that prompted his tribe to consider him the Chosen One, destined to strike down the Great Old Ones, but then he got banished for some reason.  Rumors state that it has to do with his cybernetic left arm.  Slow and plodding, but his speech has the measured quality of a scholar or warrior-poet.

As the picture suggests, Haakon bears a resemblance to Frazetta's Death Dealer, except he looks like a skeleton.  He has occasionally been known to cover his skin with ash or paint so as to downplay his skeletal appearance, but it's doubtful he'll do that in the races.


Edward "Red Ed" Czarnecki




As best as anyone can tell, Eddie is a Polish immigrant, a factory worker in 1920s Chicago.  An ardent Socialist who claims that he was "too extreme for the IWW," Eddie somehow fell into Carcosa and ran into Haakon.  Recognizing the Great Old Ones as another oppressive hegemony, he threw his lot with Haakon and the two have been buddies ever since.

Oh yeah, one more word about the whole "Polish immigrant in 1920s Chicago" thing: most people think that, but Eddie makes reference to things that are in no Windy City anybody has ever heard about.  Some of his lurid, retro-futurist descriptions suggest something more akin to Lang's Metropolis or whatever bleak future civilization will eventually give rise to Wells' Morlocks.

As the picture suggests, Eddie bears a resemblance to Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times.  He deviates from the picture by being more disheveled and possibly on speed.

The Blessed Brian

(not pictured)

The Blessed Brian is a bizarre vehicle, some sort of sleigh or chariot.  The body is formed by what appears to be the inverted shell of a giant horseshoe crab.  It is pulled by some large, mutant creature from the Carcosan wastes — something resembling a ten-legged camel with no head.  The whole assemblage is shaded by a large, garishly colored brolly or North Korean traffic girl's umbrella; the brolly is an assortment of reds, oranges, and jales, like a radioactive Carcosan sunset.  The pièce de résistance, however, is the figurehead mounted on the front of the sleigh.  It appears to be the limbless torso of screen and stage actor Brian Blessed, set to gnashing its teeth, singing, and yelling at all who draw near.

Known Competitors

Oogah

Joan of Shark

Addendum: Robert Guy released the racing lineup, and you should look at it.  The Ayatollah of Racin' Rollahs is probably my favorite, based upon his over-the-top personality and, ahem, "unique" look.  Red Ed roundly claims that the Ayatollah has the look of someone who does not comprehend the emanations of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Persons of Interest: Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski

You did it.

You can argue that a celebrity who ruins his marriage by delving into L.A.'s BDSM scene and then starts identifying as female isn't appropriate for Unknown Armies, but you'd probably be wrong.

That level of symbolic tension is perfect for an avatar of the Mystic Hermaphrodite.

This basically goes in the same format as Nadya Suleman: you can check out Lana Wachowski by looking at Wikipedia or IMDB without my help.

I will, however, specifically direct you to this thread on The Straight Dope.  It talks about Larry's 2001 affair with Los Angeles dominatrix Ilsa Strix (leading to his 2002 divorce from then-wife Thea Bloom), as well as his transformation into Lana Wachowski.

Dukes put the smart money on Laurence encountering the occult underground during his time in L.A.'s BDSM scene, although a few tell a convoluted tale of a young Larry meeting the Freak back in Chicago.  From there, he made the conscious decision to channel the Mystic Hermaphrodite (by symbolically wrecking his marriage, changing his gender, and keeping this all very personal and quiet).

Some dukes also claim the Wachowskis are deliberately inserting mystic themes into their movies (some dukes claim the "desert of the real" is symbolic of the Statosphere and The Matrix is all about the Clergy's cycle) in an attempt to bring magick to the masses.  (Some even blather that The Matrix sequels sucked because the first one was just Hinduism in a science-fiction/action film while the other two were an attempt to reconcile human understanding with the incomprehensible symbolism of the Invisible Clergy.)

Smart dukes want to stay the hell away from that.  Between the Sleepers and the Sleeping Tiger, I'll take neither, thank you.


Personality: The Comic Book Nerd.  Friendly and outgoing on subjects that capture her attention, otherwise somewhat awkward and standoffish.
Obsession: Identity.  What makes people determine whom they are?
Wound Points: 45

Rage Stimulus: Violation of privacy.
Fear Stimulus: (Self) Losing track of herself.
Noble Stimulus: Teaching.

Body: 45 (Used to Work Construction)
Carpentry 30%, General Athletics 25%, Struggle 15%, Work Without Rest 15%
Speed: 40 (A Trifle Awkward)
Dodge 20%, Driving 30%, Initiative 25%, Squirrelly Reflexes 15%
Mind: 70 (Nerd)
Conceal 15%, Directing 35%, General Education 25%, Notice 15%, Writing 35%
Soul: 65 (Philosophical)
Acting 10%, Avatar: The Mystic Hermaphrodite 25%, Charm 20%, Friends in the Business 30%, Lying 15%

Friends in the Business: This represents Lana Wachowski's industry connections.  Mechanically, it's similar to A Friend in the Family (UA2, pg. 43).

Violence: 0 Hardened 0 Failed
Unnatural: 1 Hardened 0 Failed
Helplessness: 1 Hardened 1 Failed
Isolation: 2 Hardened 2 Failed
Self: 3 Hardened 2 Failed

(You can also see this entry over on the Unknown Armies site.)

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