what gift to get the teacher when an apple simply won't do.

got school-aged children? then at some point during the year, you will be scratching your head trying to determine the perfect gift for your children's teacher. if this never happens to you, then you are probably part of the reason that the profession is oft considered a "thankless job."

back to the awesome parent who is stuck in the muddle of trying to show their appreciation. surely you have heard the idiom, "it is the thought that counts." seriously, this is true, so STOP stressing. thank you cards written by you and your child are awesome. if you can afford to do more, of course the teachers will be thrilled, but please do not put yourself into financial stress buying teach a gift. handmade gifts are amazeballs, so capitalize on your creativity. why am i telling you all of this? because i am a teacher. and mrs. nipper knapp asked. and if you google "best gifts for teachers" there are gads of lists that are hogwash, so i am going to put you on the path towards awesome gift-giving. full disclosure, i work in an inner-city school, so gifts are the exception, not the norm. i guess that is why i have a wish list....a girl can dream.

as you already know, it is a challenge to buy a gift for this person who is sort of a stranger and simultaneously is practically a member of the family. after all, they spend seven or eight hours a day with your child. teaching, mentoring, guiding, soothing, molding, and loving your baby. the best advice i can give is to buy or make something that YOU would like. why's that? well, your child's teacher is just like you and me. we teachers have a life outside of teaching and most likely, we like lots of things that you like. but first, you need to do a little reconnaissance. check out the teacher's style. focus on accessories, because these are easy to purchase and affordable. ask your child about their teacher - i think you would be surprised how observant your kids are...don't forget, most children looooove their teacher and notice everything about them. and teachers loooooove to talk, so they have probably told their class everything you need to know, i.e. favorite color, hobbies, etc.

but let us get to the advice part of this post. i am a lass, so these suggestions are focused on female teachers, but of course some ideas can be adapted to men. beyond that i cannot help you with the gents. male teachers are just as mysterious as every other man i know. i have no idea what gifts to give my husband, brother, and dad; i certainly do not know what to get a male teacher. if you have this figured out, please enlighten the rest of us.

dead. horse.

first of all, things to avoid.

1. kitsch and knick-knacks. there are only so many random bits of teachery nonsense we can fit on our desks, windowsills, and bookshelves.
2. little plastic organizers with paperclips, push pins, staples, and officey junk. we already have one. or five. 
3. anything with the word "teacher." i.e. world's best teacher mugs, #1 teacher picture frames, etc. 
4. apple and/or bookworm themed gifts. i have no idea why apples are associated with teachers, but seriously, unless it is an electronic apple (see cartoon above), do not beat that dead horse.
5. classroom supplies. i know, i know, teachers spend lots of money on school supplies and you want to help them out, but dudes, donate supplies to the classroom, do not give them as a GIFT to the teacher. that is like someone giving your baby diapers for YOUR birthday. practical, NOT dreamy.

the best gifts are thoughtful and personalized. if you can make any of these things yourself, DO IT! if you can get your kids involved, even better.

1. accessories. does the teacher wear scarves? get her a scarf. does she wear little silver earrings/long-beaded necklaces/bracelets/sparkly hair clips? get her little silver earrings/long-beaded necklaces/bracelets/sparkly hair clips. you see where this is going? observe the teacher - everyone wears accessories...what is her niche?
2. fun and fabulous lunch bags. lunch breaks are short and teachers are not rolling in money, so we tend to bring our lunches. you know that super cute pink polka-dotted one you saw at the store? yup, teach would love that.
3. tote bags. teachers cart the world to school every day, so a good strong tote bag is always handy. and if it is cute, well then it might just become the go-to bag.
4. sturdy and good travel mug. does she have a mug of coffee/tea every day? she probably sips on it throughout the morning and would love it if her beverage was still warm at 10am. but chances are, she is not going to splurge to buy herself that awesome double-insulated mug that will keep her drink warm for hours.
5. non-traveling mugs. that are cute. would you want the mug in your cupboard? then it could be a winner. avoid messages, cheesy pictures, and jokes. look for pretty. or cute. or fun. want to get your kid involved? head to one of those places where you paint your own pottery and have your child paint a mug or any other practical item. but please, guide them through this process, especially if they are young. scribbles are cute, but make sure the scribble is not something that only a parent will love.
6. throw blanket. this can be bought, sewn, knit, or crocheted. worried it will not fit with the color scheme of her house? who cares?! we all have throw blankets that have nothing to do with our house decor...does that stop us from using them? nope. live in a warm climate? who cares?! everyone curls up on the couch with a blanket. even in miami. our air conditioners sometimes run a little cold.
7. beauty supplies. nail polish. body sprays. fragrant lotions. this one requires surveillance. are her nails always painted? get her the good stuff in the latest colors. body sprays and smelly lotion - everyone likes to play with these yummies. avoid makeup, unless you either a) know exactly what she loves and/or b) are super confident that the makeup is something everyone would love and can wear (mrs. n.k., think stila's smitten kitten).
8. find out her interests. if you are a good investigator, you can probably dig up some dirt. does she like to cook? get her a fun ruffly apron. or those gorgeous melamine mixing bowls you have been ogling. is she a baker? muffin pans. or cookie sheets. is she an artist? new sketchbook and colored pencils.

yum.

generic gifts for the times when you are just totally stuck.

1. gift card to starbucks. unless the teacher is anti-establishment or does not drink coffee or tea. then you will want to move on to #2.
2. candy and/or chocolate. teachers are human and just like you, we love to indulge.
3. flowers. or a potted plant. you could have your kid paint the pot - that would be super fun.

holy banarama, this post is waaaay longer than i intended, but, i love people who want to do something special for their child's teacher and if i can help simplify that process, well then...i will. good luck and happy shopping/creating.

note: all images are from the internets.

sew vintage.

last week pringle and i went to los angeles to visit my family. we stayed at my parent's house, which is a treasure trove of, well, just about anything you can imagine and more. i never fail to discover things to amuse me....this time around i found an old sewing book. totally fascinating. if it was not already obvious, i am a total sewing nerd. just reading about sewing makes me happy, but pictures and patterns?? in a book older than me?? yummy!!

everything you ever wanted to know about little girls' dresses. this was the "children's" section. all it had was dresses, dresses, and more dresses. and a picture of a boy in pants. there was a measuring tape next to his leg, but the text had zero explanation about pants. it should have been the "girl's" section. oh well.

plackets? sounds like a military formation. it's not. it is the slit you put in the hem of a skirt or dress. you learned something new, right?

interesting choice of adjectives. personally, i think i might have called these "pretty" dress trims.

do girls still prance? because these girls are definitely prancing.

oh the joys of smocking!!! i love me some smocking. if i had this many smocked dresses, i too would be holding hands and dancing in circles.

bathing suits. love it. so old-fashioned. so amazing.

so adorbs!! time to cook up a sister for pringle. just kidding.

nice to meet you murphy.

"if anything can go wrong, it will." ~murphy's law.

who, ME?!?

in my pre-baby life i had some run-ins with murphy. now that baby is here, murphy visits every 5-7 minutes. awesome? well, no. not exactly. but it does keep you on your toes and teach you how to see the humor in life. these are the top 10 new rules in our life.

1. if it is inconvenient or impossible to take the baby out of his car seat, he screams. conversely, if it is convenient or possible to take him out of his car seat, he is sound asleep.

2. the baby will scream hysterically during a car ride, only bothering to fall asleep when we arrive at home.

3. the baby will happily hold the paci in his mouth when you sit with him. he will drop it the moment you walk away.

4. when you are prepared with a rag to catch spit-up, the baby will just burp. when you are entirely unprepared, the baby will barf all over you.

5. the baby will make hundreds of cute faces when the camera is in the other room. retrieve the camera and the baby just stares at you.

6. if you need the baby to sleep "just five more minutes,"so you can finish something, he will wake up. if you want the baby to wake up so you can do the 2am feeding before you drift off, he will stay asleep. 

7. when you put the baby in a cute onesie you would like to look at all day, he will happily soil it within the hour.

8. when lying on top of you (aka you cannot get anything done), the baby will sleep soundly for hours and hours. if you try to put him in his bed, he will be awake within 60 seconds.

9. the more tired the baby is, the harder it is to put him to sleep.

10. if you are early you will breeze right out the door. if you are on time or running late, the baby will gleefully provide you with a diaper explosion that will require you to change his diaper and outfit, and possibly even your outfit. the severity of the explosion is directly proportional to your tardiness.

what the what.

every time i visit my parents' house, i am astounded by all the craziness. not my parents. they are not crazy. well, not any crazier than me, which might not be saying much, but i do not think that any of us needs to be institutionalized. the craziness is the things that they own that are just, ummm, crazy. i have no other word. their house is a gallimaufry of paintings, gadgets, books, crafting supplies, electronics, sculptures, and gardening goodies. i am sure that many of you think that either you or your kin have some crazy nonsense, but do they have...

laser-guided scissors?

 

wiggly knives to cut cheese in pretty slices?

 

irons that stand up on their own two feet as soon as you release the handle?

 

a psychedelic mushroom clock that chimes the hours?

 

and a whole host of light-up clocks that are virtually unreadable even to the experienced viewer? some of these chime every fifteen minutes. all of them chime on the hour. the top of every hour is a cacophony of chimes.

 

  

  

for those interested...all the clocks were made by chrono art.

holiday haul.

some of you might be wondering the results of my shameless hustling for holiday gifts, so here are pictures of all of my gifts. did my 18 students and their parents appropriately show their appreciation? you decide.

a handmade card and little debbie cupcakes.

a coloring page and a candy cane.

 

a handmade card.

a stuffed penguin and a miniature rubber robot.

an eraser.

shameless.

when i was a kid i remember begging my mom to let me buy this or that for my teacher. twice a year i got to pick something little to show my teacher how much i loved her. it was never anything earth-shattering, but it was my childish way of saying "thanks." from my perusals of the blogosphere, craftosphere, and facebook, this tradition continues, yet the kids at my school do not seem to have gotten the memo. i am a big believer in the motto "it is the thought that counts," so does that mean that despite wrangling your kid for six hours a day, five days a week, for 10 MONTHS that i do not even warrant a thought?

patiently teaching 5-year olds how to weave paper.

in five years of teaching, which thanks to various administrative shuffling, puts me somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 kids, i have received nine gifts and only a handful of cards. now i know the economy is in the dumps, but is it truly too much to ask that you go to the dollar store and buy a candle or sit your kid down with a paper and some crayons and tell them to make a thank you card for their teacher? really?

more times than i can remember my mom told me that it does not take much to say thank you and it sure does make the other people feel special. so this year, thanks to the brainchild of ms. pumpky, i have taken matters into my own hands. blatantly begging some might say. i prefer to think of it as continuing education...teaching kids that they should say thank you. i am not picky. handmade cards and dollar store gifts are the apple of my eye; all i ask is that you think of me. to that end, i placed a box on my desk, stuck a fake present in it and pointed it out to my kids telling them that if they have cards or gifts for me, they can just put them in the box. i plan to give them daily reminders of the box's existence. shameless plugging? perhaps. but i have decided that it is necessary since their parents refuse to teach them how to be good people.

the beggar collection box.

for those of you that have kids in school...do not forget the teacher. they work hard day in and day out to try to prepare your child for the future and it is always nice to know that you care. no need to spend a fortune...feel free to have your kids make a popsicle stick photo frame or some other crafty dealio (click here if you need some inspiration) and i guarantee the teacher will love it. after all there is a reason they chose to surround themselves with little people.

receipts running wild.

as a child growing up i quickly learned that credit card receipts must be saved, put in order, and matched up with the monthly statement. my parents use this system to check for mistakes on the statement and to keep things organized in case they need to return a purchase. there was a special box for my pops to put his receipts (a yellow cardboard box that is still in use) and every month i watched my mums painstakingly take care of putting everything in order. once all was checked and the bill was paid, the receipts were wrapped up inside the statement and filed away. this probably sounds a bit neurotic, but in my parent's house it just seemed like fabulous organization.

is it any wonder that i feel the need to save every receipt that comes into my life? it took a little bit of training (and begging), but i managed to convince the mister that he too should partake in this persnickety ritual. sure thing. if i am gonna be a crazy loon, i might as well ensure that those nearest and dearest also lose their mind. 

 

the mister likes to haul around his receipts until the ink rubs off. i unwaveringly file these "blank" pieces of paper.

and then i realized that the process of organizing this mass of paper fell to me and i hate to admit it, but in my house it has never happened smoothly the way that it does in my parent's house. the sheer volume of receipts is daunting and the statements arrive at awkward times, so i fall behind and the next thing i know, the mister and i have a receipt drawer that is stuffed so full that it will not shut properly.

clearly the mister and i need a new method. first thing i had to give up the notion of putting the receipts in chronological order and matching them to the credit card statement. seems easy, right? except that in my book this is akin to total chaos and my brain is not so easily convinced that this is a good idea. but then i looked at the receipt drawer. seven months of receipts. eek. okay fine. no more chronology. once i made it past that hurdle, we quickly slid down the slippery slope towards anarchy. the mister and i now have a shoebox and sandwich baggy sorting system. snazzy? nope. effective? maybe. 

organizing the madness.

we are hopeful that using an all-stars shoebox means we are on a path to greatness.

clearly there are still signs of my hyperactive organizational tendencies, but maybe the mister and i will manage to retain both our receipts and our sanity. if you hear of a couple drowning in receipts, please throw us a rope.