butch/femme

So this blog has always been a place for me to explore myself as a dyke. I use that term to encompass the whole of who I am. With this term I have always felt comfortable I have never let it be used against me as a negative. I have always thought that by claiming it as my own I took all the negativity out of it. I had never thought of the term Dyke as a term that could define a persons gender. I was told recently that I couldn't call myself a dyke because I was femme. UMMM excuse me I am a dyke what does my choice of clothing have to do with how I define myself.
It has gotten me to thinking that the L in the GLBT community seems to put a lot of emphasis on what the other members of our community wear. It seems unfair to me that we judge others by what they wear or how they feel comfortable.I know that in our house I am the one that wears the heels and the makeup, and my wife is much more relaxed and laid back in her jeans,and T's. I also know that when I first came out I wanted so much to have people look at me and just know that I was a lesbian that I tried to "butch up" my look and all that accomplished was me looking funny. I am a femme at times a high femme. I love to have my door opened, my chair pulled out and to be spoiled by my partner. In contrast my partner tells me that she loves to do these things for me. Its not that I can't do them for myself but it is nice to have her do them for me, to make me feel extra special. It wasn't until I found Sinclair Sexsmiths blog Sugarbutch cronicles that I found my niche and felt 100% comfortable with who I was. He has a way of writing about the butch femme dynamic that just hits home with me. I felt the respect and admiration for the femme in his blog and new that even though the wife and I do not necessarily prescribe to the total butch femme role play it's OK that I am attracted to and love butch women and vice versa. I have found several other butch/femme blogs and relationships through this blog and I value the understanding and camaraderie that I feel with these others. I think that it is time that we as a whole just let go and understand that we are all women who love women. No mater if they are ultra high femme in there heels and stockings or stone butch in there flannel and mullets, or they fall in the vast space somewhere in between. We all have so much more in common than we think and we just need get over labels and stereotypes. thanks for listening hope some of this made sense.

life update

So after 2 days of random power outages we have had power this evening and i thought I would take the time to update a bit. We had a great time at pride, I wish that more days could be like that. We went to The in laws for the 4Th it was a good day. We also saw the fireworks on the 5Th with my mom and my bob. It was Baby S's 2ND birthday and I can not believe that my baby is 2, I am just not sure where the time has gone. The two older kids came home on Sunday and we have had a great week so far. On Monday we went to the lake and then came home to no power, the official story is that there was animal contact. Now I don't know about you but it must have been one hell of an animal to knock put power for almost 15 hours. We made the best of it and built a camp fire and roasted hot dogs for dinner. the kids had fun. we then played hide and seek till it was time for bed. No sooner did the wife and I get all snugly in bed that the power came back on. we then had to run around and turn off all the lights that we had on. i got up and went to work early on Tues and when I came home the wife was in the garage she let me know that we once again had no power. this time it was a tree down on a major line,blah blah blah. So K had started a roast earlier that was done so last night dinner consisted of roast beef and bread and butter. I know what healthy eaters we are. So today i went to work only to call every hour to be told that yes we still have power. It has been a good day and over all a good start to summer.


In other news the wife has quit her job. She was up fora promotion at work and the hiring manager is known to be a homophobic prick. She didn't even get a real interview she was told that 3 other Men were much more qualified. This is bull ans she called them on it. Then the trouble started. She had never been so much as late to work and she has gotten excellent on all her evals. but they started to nit pick and I told her not to put up with it. I make enough for us to get by and it is so not worth her aggravation to deal with that. The exciting part is she is now going to finally use her GI bill and go back to school!!!!!!! She has wanted to for a long time but lacked the confidence to do so. This is just the push she needed. I am so excited for her. She is going to be a Radiology Technician. I can't wait to see her in scrubs ;)
well I have rambled on for far to long so more later.

home at last!!!

So I am home again from my week in st Louis. It was a very intense week of training and learning a new system and the best way to train others on said system. i was with 6 other ladies from my market. It was a very wide sampling of ladies, they ranged from early 20's to late 50's. They are from rural and not so rural areas of Ohio an west Virginia. It was a great time just watching the personalities mix. We had class from 8-5/6 daily and the nights were open to sight see and relax. we did all kinds of stuff. we went to the hard rock cafe, we went to hooters, we went to union station and saw the factory where they make tums. Our hotel was very nice and right across the street from the arch. We never did make it into the arch, they have weird hours for the ride to the top. We did take some great pics. Our hotel was also very close to cardinal stadium. On the first night we met a very nice gay man that took us on the best carriage ride. He was so sweet we paid him for a 1/2 hour ride and he took us out for about an hour and a half. he told us all the places to hit. on the last night we went to the casino. did not win any money but I did have a brush or should I say almost brush with a celebrity. My friend and I were coming back to the gaming floor from getting some great sushi and As I was trying to get m gaming card out I almost tripped into Barry Manilo! I was not sure who he was at first, I thought he was Rod Stewart, they both have a very plastic look. But we did get to see him and I was not all that impressed. he was SOOOOO drunk that he looked like one of those punching bag clowns bouncing around between his handlers.
all in all it was a great trip, I learned lots of new stuff and had time to relax and see a beautiful city. now I am able to relax and enjoy my wife and kids I think they missed me. later
S

life is random

So everyone in my house is healthy!!!! It has been a very good week. We got out and voted on Tuesday with wonderful results. we have been getting along. I got new pillows for my bed though I am not sure that I like them, they are great big and fluffy. i have much to my wife's displeasure remembered that I love ebay and I have been bidding and winning many auctions. I love the last min bidding wars and take pleasure even when I don't win. i am evil I take pleasure in knowing that at least someone had to pay more if I don't win.
K is getting ready to start track next week so our weeks will soon be filled with many busy evenings of track meets ( yeah). It makes for a crazy spring but we love it. k enjoys the activity and it keeps her home more.
Not much else going on we are just enjoying being healthy. hope you are all well and getting ready for the upcoming spring.
So this pic is the lighting of our family candle @ our commitment ceremony 2 yrs ago

wonderful life

this has been a wonderful week. we stayed home for valentines and had a great night as a family. It was wonderful to just hangout with the kids and not have the presure of the date night. we then had a wonderful weekend just being together. I took sunday and monday off with the kids and we just played. I love days with no plans that just work out. the wife and i have found a wonderful lesbian author by the name of Radclyffe. she writes wonderful lesbian novels. the wife is not a big reader but she finds herself unable to put her books down. I read an entire book sunday. I couldn't put it down, i kept saying 1more chapter till it was done. anyway it's just been a great lazy week. hope you are all enjoying yourselves.

life or something like it.

so this has been a very crazy week. first K comes home from school on Monday with a cold/flu yuck. I figure at this point we will all end up with it. she misses school on Tuesday and the Nazi principal calls to find out where she is. Ummm in bed with a fever very sick. he yells about this being the week that students are counted for funding and she better have a note so they can still count her. Hello FU#$ wad she is sick, it is my prerogative as her mother to keep her home. Leave us alone. Now if she was the kind of child that missed a lot of school i could see why he called but this is the first day that she has missed all year. Sooo sorry we didn't check with you before we scheduled her with the flu. Asshole! Well E got it next though not as bad a few doses of over the counter meds and he was back to good. the wife, Spencer and i were good up until yesterday when i had to take a trip to urgent care. I had a headache that would not go away. turns out it was a muscle spasm tension induced headache that the Dr said would be helped by removing stress for my life. I had 3 call offs while i was in the Dr office. Stress what stress. So i told that nice man to sign me up for a 1 week drug induced coma. He didn't go for it, so i will fight these headaches with the very good drugs he gave me . the baby and the wife are still doing well. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

things to make you go hmmm

So to start this post i should probably say that for the most part i love my job. it is a fun job that most importantly gives me the flexible schedule that i need. with that said, my company changed hands in July of last year and i was very excited. It has however not been the wonderful change any of us had hoped for. As a division we are treated like red headed step children. we get the crap that the other divisions don't want and now we find out that it is just our division that doesn't have insurance yet(they promise they are working on it) we are also the only ones that didn't get our W2s yet. yes i am whining but it's my blog i will if i want.

thanks for letting me vent

I look like a dyke again!!!!

So I had decided that I wanted to grow my hair out long again. I should probably start by saying that i normally wear it short, very short about 1 1/2 inch long sexy, spiky, messy, dyke doo. WELL I thought i would let it grow. Now at first it's just a longer version of what I'm use to, then it gets really long and heavy and it wont do anything. I know it's got to look bad before it gets better but man it was getting bad. I went to my stylist and told her i was done i new i couldn't handle it and i was getting a mullet. She sat me down and trimmed the back and told me i was done. The wife laughed her ass off. I went back a week later and she trimmed it i mean trimmed it about 1/4 of an inch. I thought OK she is just doing what i told her i wanted to do (let it grow). I in the mean time am looking like a shaggy dog. I hated it. However the same girl has done my hair forever and i am kind of funny when it comes to my hair so i have just let it grow. that was until the wife stopped wanting to cuddle in bed. my hair was bothering her. Off to the mall we went and I look like a dyke again. yeah pics to follow if i can get them to load. It's funny i didn't realise that my confidence was slipping, until I walked out of the salon and My mother even told me i looked happier. It's funny what we associate with our hair.


I should clarify the wife didn't like to snuggle because my hair would go up her nose no fun for her. She would love me no matter what.