Awak Layak Ke Terima Duit Hantaran Beribu-Riban?

Marriage. It's that one stage of life that most of us look forward to. Some of us are willing to spend A WHOLE LOT just to keep up with the crazy 'current trend' nowadays. The question is, will the 'current trend' guarantee happiness?

I came across this VERY interesting blog entry that actually made me think. It's about dowry or 'duit hantaran' in Malay.

picture credits to Google.com

After reading the entry, I can't help but to agree to the things that he highlighted. I have shared the link to this blog entry in my tweet previously. But I thought I'd just share the extract of the blog entry here again, for all of you to read as well, just in case if you're not my Twitter follower.

To all my single friends (boys & girls) who are not married or planning to get married, do read the entry below! It's truly an eye-opener. Well, to me at least.

To all my married friends, do spread the message around. Ambil yang baik, and perhaps educate our families & friends mana-mana yang patut :)

Jangan Sayang Aku Kerna Aku Tinggi

gadis semakin lama semakin mahal

aku pun tak paham kenapa. hari ni ade jemputan kawen untuk family aku. so, tadi aku sajelah aku tanye kakak aku berape hantarannya, dengan nada cool bagai sesuatu yang norma, kakak aku kate, “hantarannye 12ribu”. apekegile!!! oh duniaaaa.. kau menyukarkan lelaki miskin macam aku untuk cepat ade anak.. ohooo~

ianya perlu diubah!! ye, aku perlu ubah mendealah fenomena gadis semakin mahal ni. selagi ianya berterusan, selagi itulah gadis akan semakin mahal, semakin mahal dan semakin mahal. ini tak bulih dibiarkan. perlu ade pencetus, yang akan membuatkan lelaki-lelaki miskin yang nak kawen berkata, “hantaran dorang tu seribu setengah je.. takde masalah pun. kawen jugak. bahagia jugak. so, aku pun kawen nanti nak hantaran seribu sengah jugakla”. heh!

kereta, komputer dan gadis

kereta, semakin hari semakin murah. begitu juga dengan komputer, semakin hari semakin murah. ini menunjukkan teknologi semakin berkembang. bila sesuatu itu semakin berkembang, harga akan berkurang dari semasa ke semasa. gadis pula lain ceritanya. semakin tidak berkembang, semakin mahal! itulah yang berlaku pada gadis pada hari ini. kalau orang dulu-dulu kahwin, hantaran untuk gadis 3,4 ratus. habis kuat seribu dua ribu camtu. sedang dalam diri gadis itu, al-Quran 15juzuk dia hafal. paling koman surah al-mulk jadi amalan. sembahyang tak tinggal. masak, jangan kau cerita. segala negeri punye masakan dia bulih tibai jadik segala. daging salai lomak cili api, laksa penang, baryani gam, cek mek molek, sata, kuah lodeh, segala ceruk mane punye masakan buleh. hantaran 3 ratus, pakej lengkap, bahagia ke akhir hayat lagi.

la ni, hantaran 8ribu, oh tak, 10ribu, err.. sekarang 12ribu ke 20ribu.. tapi masak?? arararara.. kuah kacang pun bukak mesra.net camne cite bai? nak masak asam pedas, rase bubur lambok kot! masak buleh kawtim lagi kot.. kot la. al-Quran.. surah-surah lazim pun terkial2.. jap, check balik fatihah pun ade yang tak molek lagi. itu hantaran beribu riban tu dol! pendek kate, dalam dunia kegadisan, semakin tidak berkembang ilmu di dada, dunia meletakkan harga yang semakin mahal. silap2, belum sempat habis bayar loan kawen, dah cerai. berlaku kan?

aku tau, yang bace akan cakap, kau ingat gadis ni ape, barang! harga gadis semakin mahal pulak!! bukan, aku tak cakap gadis itu barang. gadis itu sesuatu untuk dimiliki untuk sama-sama berkongsi hidup dengan. so, kau yang faham tentang gadis itu bukan barang untuk dijualbeli dan diperdagangkan, mesti kau tidak akan kisah pasal hantaran bukan. tapi masalahnya, manusia hari ini yang meletakkan gadis itu bagai barang! nilai semakin mahal bila semakin tinggi mutunya(kunun dengan ade kelulusan), semakin mahal bila ianya semakin cantik(kunun hot la), semakin mahal bila ianya limited edition(kunun dianya anak tunggal).. nah! kau yang letakkan nilai gadis itu macam barang bukan!

kereta, komputer dan gadis, bila kita pilih untuk memiliki, semuanya ade spec(specifications) masing2 bukan? kau mesti mahu yang terbaik, dengan harga yang terbaik untuk kau jugak. dunia hari ini banyak menyusahkan kita. dengan berleluasanya fahaman kunun ade nilai standard dalam hantaran mengikut zaman. contohnya zaman la ni, rm10ribu tu at least. gile betul! aku yang tak fikir pasal kawen lagi ni pun dah terasa getarnya. kamonlaaa… takkan takde gadis yang faham?? seksa kot nak kumpul rm10ribu.. tu hantaran je tu.. majlis lagi.. beli barang2 hantaran lagi.. koman2 rm30ribu kot nak kena standby. adess.. pastu bulan2 nanti nak bayar duit loan kawen, loan kereta ngan rumah lagi. ohhhhh~ hidup dengan hutang sampai mati. silap2 wasiat pun sampai tulis suruh anak sambung bayarkan hutang. aku bercakap dari sudut seorang lelaki miskin macam aku.. kau yang kaya, duit berlori-lori takpelah.

aku menulis bukan mengatakan aku anti pada hantaran mahal. sekadar aku mahu gadis hari ini faham akan beban lelaki yang tak berduit. cuba letak diri korang kat tempat lelaki yang nak gile kawen ngan korang tapi takde duit sampai kena buat loan untuk hantaran 10ribu tu. huhh! tak pun, camnilah. ape kate korang je yang bagi hantaran kat lelaki? haa.. best gak tu! kat akula especially.. amacam??

kesimpulannya.. aku rase, kawen tak patut dijadikan beban. aku rase belambak artikel pasal mahar/hantaran kat internet ni. aku tak bace pun aku tau die mesti nak suruh gadis2 sedar tak payah mahar mahal2, same macam ape aku tulis. lagipun aku bukan gadis untuk bace artikel camtu. aku tulis pasal ni sebab tibe2 aku rase aku perlu ubah fenomena ni. semangat macam semangat luffy tibe2 menjelma dalam diri aku. ho!

Extract from http://parkins07.wordpress.com

Now, what do you all think? Make sense, no? :)

Stylish = Louis Vuitton?

Ever since I became a mom, somehow I like to check out hot moms with a sense of style rather than those trendy, single ladies. I mean, it's easy to look like a million dollar chic when you're not married, but for moms, even applying em makeup could be a challenge, especially when you have a toddler who constantly tugs on your skirt or arm, just to crave for attention! You'd be a champion if you manage to pull off clean smokey eyes without looking like a crazy panda. Not to mention, those moms who could still maintain their slim figure even after they've put on more than 10kgs! Seriously, you ladies definitely have my respect!

However, I can't help but to notice that more often that not, these hot, stylish moms usually have the same things in common.

1. They carry Louis Vuitton handbag

2. They use Allerhand diaper bag (if not the designer ones)

3. They push MacLaren stroller.

Okay, I could understand MacLaren stroller for its light weight and practicality. Also for Allerhand diaper bag for its many compartments, but Louis Vuitton? Why Louis Vuitton? Why ALWAYS Louis Vuitton?

Now, it is very important for everybody to know that I have nothing against LV bags or those wearing them. In fact, kalau sape-sape yang bermurah hati nak hadiahkan I satu, kecik tapak tangan, nyiru I tadahkan! Hee.

It's just that, I just don't understand why it always has to be LV?

Why not this killer, sexy one by Prada?


Or this chic, elegant one by Gucci?


Or this drop-dead-gorgeous, glamorous one by Chanel?


I don't know why, but every time I turn to look at a stylish lady (married with kids or not) and look at her handbag, it always has to be LV. It's so cliche!

Hmm. If I am rich one day, I want to make a difference lah. I want to strut in boots and carry Chanel handbag here and there. Or Prada. Or Gucci.

LV? Perhaps, but maybe the last one on the list.

Heh. Berangan!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Private or Government Hospital?

Lately, somehow I have come across a few of this debate. Usually this would not interest me, but recently, one of my sister's good friend (whom I have considered as my own sister), referred her readers to a blog containing this debate, or rather, the writer's point of view on this matter. And I must say, I was rather intrigued to what the writer had to tell and say in her entry. I applaud the writer's stand and point of view in her entry. Very well spoken and I agree 100% to everything she said in her entry.

All you ladies (and men too!) out there should read the entry, written by Chika. It's a very good entry, and it makes you realize, to always think before you speak (or type). She highlighted 2 things there and I highly recommend that you read, just to remind ourselves things that we may forget, sometimes.

Reading all the comments thrown by other readers, I cant help but to chip in my two cents on one of the issues as well. Since I gave birth to Aydein in a private hospital, this is what I had to say :

***

chika, well said. saya setuju 100% dgn apa yang chika luahkan di atas.

memang tak dinafikan, tidak patut sama sekali bagi sesiapa untuk mempertikaikan decision seorang ibu untuk melahirkan anak di govt atau private.

namun bagi saya, ini merupakan rezeki masing masing. bagi yang berkemampuan, tidak salah utk mereka utk mendptkan khidmat dari swasta, yang sedia maklum, lebeh selesa dgn layanan yang lebeh baik. sama seperti kereta. mengapa sesetengah kelompok membeli wira atau perdana, walhal kancil juga dapat menjalankan tugas yang sama baik seperti kereta2 laen? kerana kelompok itu lebeh mampu, dan keselesaan yang lebeh.

dari seorang ibu yang melahirkan anak di hosp private dan juga pernah melalui pengalaman di klinik kerajaan, saya memilih private kerana mereka lebeh prihatin dan tidak melayan kita spt kita ini "beban" kpd mereka. mungkin tidak semua hosp kerajaan begini, tetapi pengalaman yang saya lalui semasa periksa bulanan cukup utk membuatkan saya serik dan takut untuk berususan dgn hospital kerajaan utk melahirkan anak saya. apabila saya mengadu tentang hal ini kpd kakak saya yang juga seorang doctor kerajaan, dia terkejut & marah dengan layanan yang diberikan oleh klinik kerajaan tersebut. disebabkan kakak saya seorang doctor juga, saya banyak mendengar cerita2 yang tidak enak, membuatkan saya teguh dgn pendirian saya utk melahirkan anak saya di private. dan alhamdulillah, layanan dan servis yang diberikan, sangat memuaskan. mungkin kerana perkhidmatannya dibayar, tetapi apa yang lebeh penting, ibu selamat melahirkan anak, anak sehat, dan ibu selesa.

jadi, setiap dan sesuatu keputusan yang dibuat oleh seorang ibu, ada sebabnya, juga yang terbaik untuknya & anaknya. jangan ada perasaan hasad atau jelik kpd sesuatu keputusan yang telah diambil oleh seseorang ibu itu. hak dia, rezeki dia. terpulang kpd dia.

bagi yang mampu (dan mahu), kamu mampu membuat pilihan untuk ke private atau govt. bagi yang tidak (dan tidak mahu), pergi ke govt pon tidak siapa kata salah (kecuali bagi suara2 yang tidak menyenangkan, kamu mmg patut dikutuk).

pilihan masing2. lahir di govt atau private, bukan lah issue di sini. tidak kesahlah anak yang dilahirkan di hosp govt atau swasta, yang penting anak yang dilahirkan itu sehat, dan dpt membesar sbg seorang anak yang dpt membanggakan masyarakat & agamanya sendiri insyaallah. itu yang kita hendakkan & patut kita doakan.

***

Make sense to you? Think about it. :)

Ps : YES i CAN write in Malay too! :D

Goodbye Shawls, Goodbye Bawals

I am so in dire need of some of these!


Now that Aydein can grab, he will grab just about anything that comes in his way and that will usually be my hair, my cheeks, my nose or.. yes, my tudung (head scarf).

This can get quite troublesome especially when we are outside attending a function or anything as such. Because when my brooch is at my cheek, and the front of my tudung is at my eyes, and a few strands of my hair coming out from my tudung, (the result of him tugging on my tudung), it can be, well, pretty tempting for me to duck and hide. And usually, even when I attempt to style it back nicely to its place, it usually won't be as neat anymore.

Besides, whenever I carry Aydein around, I will often have to literally look over my shoulder just to see if the brooch that I pinned nicely on my shoulder does not rub against his chin, cheek, forehead, or eyes!

That is why, it is time for me to say bye-bye tudung bawals & shawls, and hello.. well, tudung barus.

Ps: Any suggestions on where I can get good quality tudung like these at affordable price? I absolutely adore Ariani's.. but they are a bit pricy for me, especially when I'm planning to get 3 or 4 of them.

Soy or Milk Based Formula?

You see, I have always felt guilty about introducing formula to Aydein since the very first time. However, since my milk supply dropped dramatically after I returned to work, I had no choice but to supplement him with formula.


I know a friend of mine who started formula with her son ever since he was a newborn. And she was proud of me for not giving up on breastfeeding and advised me to continue it for as long as I can. She also told me something that is plastered in my mind to this very day. She said, "Bagus la you still breastfeed your son. Macam my son, formula dari baby, dia jadik buas sikit,"

I hear this quite a lot about formula-fed babies. But how true is this?

And then one day, I saw soy-based formula of the same brand in the market. So during Aydein's last doctor visit, I asked her the difference between the two of them; which formula is better for babies to strive stronger and healthier. The doctor said both formulas are at par. Both provide complete nourishment and the only difference is the source of protein ; one comes from animal, the other one comes from vegetable.

So wanting only the best for my son, I decided to try to change his formula to soy-based formula after consulting his doctor. Why go for animal based when there's alternative vege based formula right?


My little precious did not quite fancy the taste very much at first. He would push the bottle teat with his tongue to the side, then bite playfully at it, and eventually push it out of his mouth. However, over time, he got accustomed to the taste, and finished every 4 to 5 ozs prepared for him.

Until one day, I was informed that giving soy-based formula to male infants would flood their bloodstream with female hormones that could cause feminization in males when he reaches puberty later. Senang cakap besa nanti dia prone to become "lembut" la you know.

There are researches that I found that do support this fact, but then again, how true is this research? If it is true that soy-fed male infants would turn to be a "softy" in the future, then why didn't Aydein's paeds say anything about it?

I don't want to take the risk though, but what do you think? Should I continue or discontinue the soy-based formula? Can anyone support the fact above?

Ps : I thought I noticed a change in Aydein after he started taking the soy-based formula , though – no, he has not turned into a softy, mind you (hehe) but he is just not as chubby and montel as before! :(

-- * update * --

I received a few responds regarding this, and after a lot of thoughts, considerations and researches, I have made up my mind. Aydein sweetheart? Time to switch your milk back to your former formula! :)

Thanks all for all your inputs! Aydein would love to switch back to his former milk ; he never really liked the soy based formula anyway, so thank you ALL again for your inputs! :D

Ruzanna, I thought I saw your comment in my FB but I dont know what happened, it dissappeared.