I taught him how to do this with his fingers to make a "camera". He will close his fingers and make a click sound to take a picture. He usually takes pictures of me doing something silly and mundane, like eating cereal or washing my face. Or sometimes he takes pictures of me while I'm taking pictures of him.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Filippo
I taught him how to do this with his fingers to make a "camera". He will close his fingers and make a click sound to take a picture. He usually takes pictures of me doing something silly and mundane, like eating cereal or washing my face. Or sometimes he takes pictures of me while I'm taking pictures of him.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
my night
I went to sleep this morning at 8:30am.
I slept until 1.
and now I am trying to make sense of my night/morning and I am laughing because it's so ridiculous.
Have you ever had one of those nights where you only have two drinks but it really feels like 5 or 6 and you're at an outdoor club on the beach in Italy and it's so hot at 3am that you are sweating and you get separated from your friends constantly and you meet some dude in the line for the bathroom that you and you say you're from LA when he asks where you are from and you think that you should start telling people that you are from Milwaukee instead of LA because it's less glamourous and then you pee and then you find your friends again and a guy in an arm brace from Bologna is trying to grope on you all night and you're not interested but he's quite persistent and you dance for maybe a total of 6 minutes the whole night because you're constantly looking for someone who's missing from the group and then the guy from the bathroom line stops you because he thinks you're interested but you're not so you keep walking then you see that the sun is coming up and you go down the beach and your friends start wading in the water and you feel a very sudden and strong urge to swim out to the rocks that are 150ft away and so you take off your shoes and you get in the water and it's warm and you swim and swim and then you take off your dress because it's heavy and you finally reach the rocks and you feel triumphant and exhilarated and it's the most beautiful sunrise you've ever seen and you sit on the rocks and you just wait and wait and all your friends are calling your name from the shore over and over and you're wearing nude colored underwear and everyone thinks that you aren't wearing any underwear because from far away it looks that way and you decide to go back to shore but you realize you don't know where your dress is so you look around in the water below and it's not there and you say "FUCK!" over and over again because you loved that dress and you only wore it one time and now it's gone forever and you dive into the water and you swim around for 20 minutes looking for it and everyone keeps calling your name over and over again and then Elisabeth realizes that you can't find your dress so she strips down too and comes to help you find it but she can't find it either so defeated and almost naked you go back to the beach and then you realize that one of the pearl earrings that your mother gave you for graduation is missing and you start to cry because they were really special and you know that your mother will never be able to give you a pair of pearl earrings ever again and you cry and no one knows why and people start to hug you and tell you that everything is okay and when you tell them about the earring they say that she is with you everyday and you know it's true and you stand up and you stop crying and you say "tutto bene!" which means "everything's okay!" and you say goodbye to the boy with the arm brace from Bologna and all of his friends that you will never see again and you walk 2 miles down the beach in your underwear with your friends back to the car and you realize that your phone got wet somehow but you don't know how and you don't care because it's suddenly 8am and you are going home and you are looking at the sea and the sun rising over it and you think about your night and how you're going to tell your friends about it and wonder...
have you ever had a night like that?
I slept until 1.
and now I am trying to make sense of my night/morning and I am laughing because it's so ridiculous.
Have you ever had one of those nights where you only have two drinks but it really feels like 5 or 6 and you're at an outdoor club on the beach in Italy and it's so hot at 3am that you are sweating and you get separated from your friends constantly and you meet some dude in the line for the bathroom that you and you say you're from LA when he asks where you are from and you think that you should start telling people that you are from Milwaukee instead of LA because it's less glamourous and then you pee and then you find your friends again and a guy in an arm brace from Bologna is trying to grope on you all night and you're not interested but he's quite persistent and you dance for maybe a total of 6 minutes the whole night because you're constantly looking for someone who's missing from the group and then the guy from the bathroom line stops you because he thinks you're interested but you're not so you keep walking then you see that the sun is coming up and you go down the beach and your friends start wading in the water and you feel a very sudden and strong urge to swim out to the rocks that are 150ft away and so you take off your shoes and you get in the water and it's warm and you swim and swim and then you take off your dress because it's heavy and you finally reach the rocks and you feel triumphant and exhilarated and it's the most beautiful sunrise you've ever seen and you sit on the rocks and you just wait and wait and all your friends are calling your name from the shore over and over and you're wearing nude colored underwear and everyone thinks that you aren't wearing any underwear because from far away it looks that way and you decide to go back to shore but you realize you don't know where your dress is so you look around in the water below and it's not there and you say "FUCK!" over and over again because you loved that dress and you only wore it one time and now it's gone forever and you dive into the water and you swim around for 20 minutes looking for it and everyone keeps calling your name over and over again and then Elisabeth realizes that you can't find your dress so she strips down too and comes to help you find it but she can't find it either so defeated and almost naked you go back to the beach and then you realize that one of the pearl earrings that your mother gave you for graduation is missing and you start to cry because they were really special and you know that your mother will never be able to give you a pair of pearl earrings ever again and you cry and no one knows why and people start to hug you and tell you that everything is okay and when you tell them about the earring they say that she is with you everyday and you know it's true and you stand up and you stop crying and you say "tutto bene!" which means "everything's okay!" and you say goodbye to the boy with the arm brace from Bologna and all of his friends that you will never see again and you walk 2 miles down the beach in your underwear with your friends back to the car and you realize that your phone got wet somehow but you don't know how and you don't care because it's suddenly 8am and you are going home and you are looking at the sea and the sun rising over it and you think about your night and how you're going to tell your friends about it and wonder...
have you ever had a night like that?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
4 months and I'm still alive
Do you ever remember someone you know looking for the glasses that happened to be on top of their head? That's basically how I feel all the time. Not about glasses necessarily but about everything. I'm looking for the things I already have or looking too forward that I'm not able to see the now. The stuff that's in front of my face. Even when I try to consciously live in the now, I admit that I am failing. I see things sometimes and they catch my attention and this alarm goes off in my head and says "AMELIA! LOOK AT THIS STUFF! IT IS SUPER SPECIAL AND AWESOME! APPRECIATE THIS MOMENT!"....and then I know I'm really not enjoying that moment. I admit that I am probably taking it for granted and yet isn't that a sort of recognition in itself?
That's not even important. It's 3am and I feel like I have so much to say and write and share. So many thoughts that I think and then they just go away even though I tell myself I should write them down immediately so I don't forget them but I don't so they just go away. But I am thinking about really interesting things lately. At least, I think they are interesting and thought-provoking.
I have been here exactly 4 months. Way over the hump and I'm yearning for and avoiding thoughts of LA on the reg. I miss it and push it away all at once. It's too stressful to start thinking about my next job and where I want to live and what the fuck I'm doing with my life there. I suppose I thought some answers would pop out of thin air here, but they haven't and I guess that's realistic. And I don't love it here but I have definitely found it's charm. Like riding my bike home at 2 am when everyone is asleep and I can hear a snoring man from a window above a narrow alleyway street. It's so Italian and charming and dreamy. Or eating gelato while I'm reading a book at the beach. I have these capabilities here that I don't have in LA and I appreciate them. I really enjoy them. Sometimes I realize how fresh the air is here compared in Los Angeles and I fear how my lungs will cope when I return. Little things like that. But then again no one here knows who Radiohead is and everyone wears Birkenstocks like they are the hottest thing around this summer and I sit quietly most nights surrounded by people, not being able to join in the conversation because I don't really know what's being said. I feel like LA will be so loud. So much louder than what I've grown accustomed to here. I miss speaking fast. Fast English. I want to just sit and speak english with someone. I guess that's normal. But really, people don't know who Radiohead are or NIN or Pixies or other really influential bands and I've learned that I am apparently a music brat when it comes to stuff like this and it makes me want to throw really important albums from a car window as if they are hundred dollar bills and have people snatch them up and run home and kick off their Berkenstocks and listen to them immediately and feel enlightened and free now that they have heard Frank Black's voice and they memorize the lyrics to "Where Is My Mind?" and we all sing it together and wonder where the fuck our mind's really went.
That would be really neat.
That's not even important. It's 3am and I feel like I have so much to say and write and share. So many thoughts that I think and then they just go away even though I tell myself I should write them down immediately so I don't forget them but I don't so they just go away. But I am thinking about really interesting things lately. At least, I think they are interesting and thought-provoking.
I have been here exactly 4 months. Way over the hump and I'm yearning for and avoiding thoughts of LA on the reg. I miss it and push it away all at once. It's too stressful to start thinking about my next job and where I want to live and what the fuck I'm doing with my life there. I suppose I thought some answers would pop out of thin air here, but they haven't and I guess that's realistic. And I don't love it here but I have definitely found it's charm. Like riding my bike home at 2 am when everyone is asleep and I can hear a snoring man from a window above a narrow alleyway street. It's so Italian and charming and dreamy. Or eating gelato while I'm reading a book at the beach. I have these capabilities here that I don't have in LA and I appreciate them. I really enjoy them. Sometimes I realize how fresh the air is here compared in Los Angeles and I fear how my lungs will cope when I return. Little things like that. But then again no one here knows who Radiohead is and everyone wears Birkenstocks like they are the hottest thing around this summer and I sit quietly most nights surrounded by people, not being able to join in the conversation because I don't really know what's being said. I feel like LA will be so loud. So much louder than what I've grown accustomed to here. I miss speaking fast. Fast English. I want to just sit and speak english with someone. I guess that's normal. But really, people don't know who Radiohead are or NIN or Pixies or other really influential bands and I've learned that I am apparently a music brat when it comes to stuff like this and it makes me want to throw really important albums from a car window as if they are hundred dollar bills and have people snatch them up and run home and kick off their Berkenstocks and listen to them immediately and feel enlightened and free now that they have heard Frank Black's voice and they memorize the lyrics to "Where Is My Mind?" and we all sing it together and wonder where the fuck our mind's really went.
That would be really neat.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Moby Lines
I just got home from Sardegna. I am exhausted and stressed and it's showing on my face. In the matter of 24 hours an insane amount of pimples just simply appeared on my face. Like one day, no pimples, the next day, OH HAI, ACNE! It's so strange and I'm blaming it on overexposure of the sun although I cannot find anything online to prove my hypothesis to be correct. Whatever. Italy has basically been making my face explode in one form or another for the last few weeks and I think I need to take a hint and just stay inside for a few days.
Today, on the cruise/ferry back to the mainland, Filippo and I were talking about directions. We were standing near the back of the boat and I had hurried him over because I wanted him to see the boat leave the harbor. We were facing west and I showed him where North, South and East were and he asked me various questions such as "where are penguins?" and I pointed South, although I wasn't sure and I felt like this was a trick question because I get my North and South Pole animals mixed up a lot. I pointed East and said that's where our home was in Civitanova and then I pointed west, in front of us, and said that was where my home in America was. Then he asked where elephants were by saying "Dove elephants?!" and I said "lots of places" and proceeded to explain the different races of Elephants and where they were in the world.
Later, when we finally docked and got in the car Filippo wanted to listen to music but Francesco had to make a lot of work calls so I asked if he wanted to listen to my ipod and he nodded slowly. I placed the little earphones in his ears which actually looks quite big in his ears and immediately put on "Yellow Submarine" because I assumed it was the most kid-friendly thing I had and then stated proudly to Arianna, "I'm introducing your son to The Beatles" and she smiled. He listened to a few other songs off of Revolver and then said "basta" and gave my ipod back to me and then he fell asleep.
Today, on the cruise/ferry back to the mainland, Filippo and I were talking about directions. We were standing near the back of the boat and I had hurried him over because I wanted him to see the boat leave the harbor. We were facing west and I showed him where North, South and East were and he asked me various questions such as "where are penguins?" and I pointed South, although I wasn't sure and I felt like this was a trick question because I get my North and South Pole animals mixed up a lot. I pointed East and said that's where our home was in Civitanova and then I pointed west, in front of us, and said that was where my home in America was. Then he asked where elephants were by saying "Dove elephants?!" and I said "lots of places" and proceeded to explain the different races of Elephants and where they were in the world.
Later, when we finally docked and got in the car Filippo wanted to listen to music but Francesco had to make a lot of work calls so I asked if he wanted to listen to my ipod and he nodded slowly. I placed the little earphones in his ears which actually looks quite big in his ears and immediately put on "Yellow Submarine" because I assumed it was the most kid-friendly thing I had and then stated proudly to Arianna, "I'm introducing your son to The Beatles" and she smiled. He listened to a few other songs off of Revolver and then said "basta" and gave my ipod back to me and then he fell asleep.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
insieme
Sometimes when I feel compelled to read things that you have written to me, I take it as a sign that you just want to remind me of those things.
Sometimes I need the reminder. Thanks.
Sometimes I need the reminder. Thanks.
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