Enough of this sh*t!

Literally. (Collette, that was for you)

This morning before I left for work, Isabella heard Simon stirring in his crib and asked if she could go in his room. Pablo told her she could and she went in his room.

Seconds after she went in his room, I could hear Isabella say in a loud, panicky voice, "OH NO! Something is not right here. Someone come here QUICK!"

Right away I thought that Simon puked all over himself again. I ran into Simon's room at the same time that Pablo got there and we go over to Simon's crib and he's sitting there with his hands, palms up, on his legs and his hands are covered in poop. COVERED. There was a bit on his bed where I guess he had touched with his hands but the majority of the mess was on his hands.

I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom and set him down in the bathtub. I removed his clothing and then his diaper. It hadn't even leaked out of his diaper so I'm assuming he stuck his hands in his diaper FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON EXCEPT TO TRY TO MAKE ME LATE FOR WORK. He's never done this before and this had better be the last time.

What transpired over the last hour (WARNING: SOME GRAPHIC CONTENT)

Isabella was playing in the basement and Simon and I were in the kitchen getting dinner ready. I realized that the dishwasher needed emptying and I yelled down to Isabella, "Want to come up and help put the dishes away?"

Isabella quickly responded, "YES PLEASE! I would love to come up and help!"

Up she came and after putting away one spoon, Isabella ran back downstairs saying that she didn't have time to help me out anymore.

Dinner was ready and I called for Isabella and no response. I yelled again and no response. I went downstairs and noticed her standing by the wall with 'that look' on her face. OMG SHE WAS SHITTING IN HER UNDERWEAR!

I marched her pooping highness up to the bathroom with the shower and made her get in. After 10 minutes of cleaning up the giant disaster and me swearing a whole lot under my breath, we made our way back to the kitchen. (During this whole horrible poop business, Simon was sitting in his highchair in the kitchen and he hadn't given him anything to keep him entertained since I was about to serve him dinner. He did not make a peep THE WHOLE TIME - and he was all alone in the kitchen for a good 10-15 minutes). Once back in the kitchen, I looked over at Simon and he was leaning forward in his chair with his hands crossed on his tray drumming his fingers as if to say "Hey lady! How dare you make me sit here all by myself!"

We sit down to eat dinner and I give Isabella a bowl of stew and start feeding Simon some too. Over the last couple of weeks, Simon has entered a 'must eat all by myself thank you very much' phase so I gave in and handed him the bowl of stew which, thank the good lord, was not very runny. He polished off the bowl (I must have cleaned his hands about 15 different times in between bites cause I'm anal like that) and he started moaning so I went and cut up a banana into a bowl and gave that to him. When he was done with that, he started scrapping the bottom of the bowl with his fingers and stared at me. I got the hint and dumped a bunch of grapes in his bowl. He polished that off and started scrapping the bottom of the bowl again and then when I didn't react fast enough, Simon picked up the bowl and turned it upside down and stared up into it and then glared at me. I got it alright - LOUD AND CLEAR. He's so freaking lucky that he's cute...

Is it bedtime yet?!?!?!?!

HOLY CRAP!

...literally.

I NEVER thought this day would come.

Isabella told me today that she needed to poop...AND WANTED TO DO IT IN THE TOILET!!!

How this has been working for many, mnay, many months is that when Isabella needs to poop she asks for a diaper. We try to talk her into going on the toilet but she would usually say, "No. Just a diaper." And we would oblige. Once I sat her on the toilet for over an hour and when she began to get hysterical, I gave up. I was hoping she would just decide on her own to give up the diapers and NOW SHE HAS.

We are damn proud. DAMN PROUD I TELL YA!!!

Random act of weirdness

Dinner was ready and right when we were about to sit down to eat, Isabella decided she needed to poop. I was just about to take off the smelly diaper when she looks up at me with a smirk on her face and says:

"I can't wait for you to meet my dirty diaper!"

Oh really.

I can't contain my excitement...

Humour at bedtime

My mom (Nonna) was over last night and was helping to put the kids to bed. She was in Isabella's room getting her ready for bed and I was giving Simon a bottle in his room. From my spot in the rocking chair I hear:

Nonna: "If you're done pooping we have to change your diaper."
Isabella: "I bet it's going to be a REALLY BIG ONE!"
Me: (giggle...feeling sorry for my mom)

After the diaper change, Isabella asked for a fourth book.
Nonna's response: "You're doing this on purpose to delay my departure."
Isabella: "SURE!"

Poop and boobs

Here is what transpired about 30 minutes ago:

I had put Isabella in the bathtub and went to get Simon undressed so he could go in the bath with his sister. (Aside: my children are both really, really tall for their ages and since I lay Simon down, they have very little room.) As I was undoing Simon's diaper, I came to the quick realization that he had pooped and I said something out loud about yet another poopy diaper (Isabella had an awful one earlier today).

From the bathtub, Isabella asks loudly, "Did the poop go all the way up to his boobs?"

So here is where I must explain...

My mom had Isabella the other day and Isabella had an awful, runny poop that went EVERYWHERE and my mom expressed to Isabella at some point how it was such a bad poop that it went up to her boobs. Isabella forgets NOTHING and so that is where her lovely and thoughtful question above came from.

Thanks Mom!!! :)