Pulp!: Episode 1 of The Return of the Mad Guru (originally published 10/17/23)

 The play test of the solo rules for "Pulp!" begins!:

Somewhere in the forgotten jungles of India, next to the wastelands, is a lost city rumored to have fabulous relics that can give power to the righteous - and to those that are evil. The Mad Guru (BWAH HAH HAH!), leader of the ancient Thugee Cult, has discovered its whereabouts. Fortunately there are heroes that will risk all to stop him and his murderous minions. The Shadow of the Bat is one of them . . . 

. . . what ensues is a story of courage and determination of stalwart men and women against villainous, heinous acts that may determine the future of mankind!

"Okay minions - move out and cross that river at the ford!"

Behram is ordered to follow the minions - just in case.

(Game Note: The section of the 19th Punjabs failed their activation)

More Thugee minions advance to secure the bridge that leads to the "Jewel of Destiny."

The other heroes with a section of the 19th Punjabs also advance to the bridge.

"The Bat", yells the Mad Guru (BWAH HAH HAH), "We meet again! This time you die!"

The Bat fires with his trusted jezail at Choti the Snake handler . . . and for a "superhero" he also misses.

(Game Note: A "1" on a D6 is always a fail and a roll of a "6" on a D6 is always a success no matter what the modifiers. Though The Bat hit Choti with the "2", Choti easily passed his save roll.)

"I will use my hypnotic gaze on Colonel Douglas, curse his English or Scottish or Irish or whatever he is to the pits of hell!"

(Game Note: I forgot to mention this earlier. The first unsaved hit for most characters is suppression; if they get another unsaved hit then they received a wound. Different characters have different amounts of wounds they can take as shown in the previous character hits though most can take two. The rule book recommends laying the figure on its side to show it's suppressed. From an aesthetic standpoint it doesn't quite look right as suppressed could be dodging or seeking cover. I'll think of a marker later. The Mad Guru is suppressed and has taken one wound.)

(Game Note: Special Abilities? Oh yeah, that's what makes this a Pulp era game! Whoops. I forgot about them the first 2 turns; the bane of learning a new game. Starting with Turn 3 the Special Abilities are on! And by the way, I forgot to activate Princess Deva.)

(Game Note: The Terrifying Laugh (BWAH HAH HAH) of the Mad Guru causes a -1 on all activation rolls of our fearless heroic company of do gooders.)

(Game Note: I'm now using "X" markers to show suppressed as they may be seeking cover, dodging, etc., that causes them to not be as effective.)

(Game Note: Yep. Chota's Quick Dodge Special Ability did not work.)

(Game Note: This is a great example of a melee with Special Abilities. Behram activated successfully and Charged The Bat. Prior to Melee, Behram declared an "Adrenaline Surge" which gives him a +1 Bonus on his combat rolls when resolving melees resulting from a Charge. An Adrenaline Surge can only be used by the Attacker. The Bat decides to use the Special Ability "Second Chance" which forces an opponent to reroll any combat roll or Save Role in the fight. The second roll is final. Behram got two hits on The Bat but The Bat decided to wait to use the Second Chance. The Bat got three hits on Behram. The Bat easily rolled his saves (+1 from the sheild) and Behram had two saves. The Bat made him reroll one of the saves and Behram now is suppressed and has one wound.)

IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE:

The Young British Soldier

 

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!