Indian Readers discussion
Off-beat
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LOL/ROFL/ROFLOL thread
Element name: WOMAN
Symbol WO
Atomic weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
________________________________________
Element name: MAN
Symbol XY
Atomic weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
An English Princess (Princess Diana) with an Egyptian boyfriend;
Uses a Swedish mobile telephone;
Crashes in a French tunnel in a German car;
With a Dutch engine;
Driven by a Belgian driver;
Who was high on Scotch?
Followed closely by Italian Paparazzi;
On Japanese motorcycles;
Treated by an American doctor;
Assisted by Philipino Para-medical staff;
Using Brazilian medicines. DIES!
This is what is called GLOBALIZATION.
PS: And this is placed here by an INDIAN.
(not me, I copied it from a website joke forum. Hope I wont be held up for plagiarism)
was led to the foot of the steps of the scaffold.
he suddenly stopped and refused to walk another step.
”Let’s go,” the guard said impatiently. ”What’s the matter?”
”SOMEHOW,” said Nasrudin, ”THOSE STEPS LOOK MIGHTY RICKETY – THEY JUST
DON’T LOOK SAFE ENOUGH TO WALK UP.”
Last month, a survey was conducted by the UN world-wide. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a HUGE failure.
In Africa they did not know what "food" meant.
In Western Europe they did not know what "shortage" meant.
In Eastern Europe they did not know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they did not know what "solution" meant.
In South America they did not know what "please" meant.
In Asia they did not know what "honest" meant.
And in the USA they did not know what "the rest of the world" meant!!!!!!!!!!!
courtesy -http://www.sherwoodcollege.com/timepa...?
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into the garage and proceeded to back out into.... a torrential rain! Wind was blowing at 50mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
Disappointed, I went back into the house quietly, undressed and sneaked back into bed.
There I cuddled upto my wife's back and whispered, 'the weather out there is terrible!'
My beautiful and loving wife replied, 'I know! and can you believe that my stupid husband is out there playing Golf in that terrible weather?'
I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped playing golf!!
Mulla Nasrudin is a favourite Indian comic character. He is supposed to be a mixture of shrewdness and idiocy. There are many jokes circulating about him. http://www.otoons.de/joke&game/mu... contains many more jokes.
Meanwhile one on Rajini Kanth..guess i already posted it, but cudnt resist still...
When Graham Bell invented telephone he found two missed calls from Rajini Kanth!
Thanks a lot, it is very interesting!
I have now three new books in my wishlist:
The Tale Of Hodja Nasreddin
Aesop's Fables
Le storie di Giufà (it seems there is also an italian Nasrudin named Giufà and I didn't know it).
Aditya, Antonio Meucci has invented the telephone :O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_...
The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks "What's wrong you look mad?"
She replied "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."
"You shouldn't take that from him." the man replied. "He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him.
"You're right sir I think I will report him."
The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number. I'll hold your monkey for you."
there are Sikh jokes, Mallu jokes, Lawyer jokes. After starting this topic I realized that I started a ticking bomb. It may explode any time. So a request to all: please dont get offended and do inform one of the moderators if you feel any joke (including ours)has to be deleted. If we feel so,we will surely do so...
On retrospect, I find my periodic table joke slightly off color...
The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next t..."
ROFL :D
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u must bring change urslf...
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great lines said by....
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mungerilal
(samosewala)
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moral:kuch ni bus hamesha khulle paise apne pass rakhe.
We have Adapted in Ours Lives
1. If you Spill Water
It'll Eventually Dry
...
2. Don't Charge your Cell Phone
Until It Says: "5% Charge" Remaining
3. If Its Not on the first
Search Page of Google, It doesn't Exist
4. Why Make your Bed When
you're just gonna get Back in It again?
5. If you're Late, don't Go
6. If u Drop the Ice Cube
Just Kick It Under the fridge
Students Who've Parked Their Vehicles In Front Of The Gate, Please Remove Their Vehicles To The Parking Area.
After 30 Minutes,
...Another Anouncement:
The 400 Students Who Went To Move 10 Vehicles Please Come Back To Your Respective Classes.:P
And I Greeted Him
"Hey, Do U Remember Me ??
...
I Spent My Whole Childhood Saving Your
Girlfriend.":-)
Ur School Days
Ur Class
Ur Friend Circle
............Ur Canteen Or Nothng Abt Ur Skooling Thn
Just
Just
Just
Open Ur Report Cards
Sara Nasha Utar
Jaega;-)
It Takes One Aishwarya To Sell A Diamond..
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.
....
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.
And
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3 Abhisheks To Sell A Sim card.. :-D
Professor to student:
Nalayak, class mein baate Q kar raha hy?
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....
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Student: Sir, mere messages free nhi hain isliye :-P
LAW OF EXAMS:The topic we
leave will come in the exams
for sure.
...
LAW OF QUEUE:The queue
you just left will move faster
than the one you are in.
LAW OF MECHANICS:
Whenever there's grease in
your hands, your nose
starts to itch terribly
LAW OF REACHABILITY:A coin
dropped down will attain the
most unreachable corner
possible
THEOREM OF TELEPHONE:When
dialing a wrong no. it wil
never be engaged.
Girl: sorry sorry deir ho gayi..
wo ajj beauty parlour gayi thi na...
Boy: ohhoo aj bhi band tha kya.
Elementary Student: NOOOOOO,"I'll be good!"
Middle School Student: "Pshhh,whatever!"
High School Student: "Hahaha tell my mom I said Hi!" :P
"at the end of this ruler there is an idiot!"
i got detention after i asked her which end she was referring too!!
7 Things Girls Do In an Exam Hall:
1. Write..
2. Stuck Hair Behind Ears..
3. Again Write..
4. Change da Empty Refill..
5. Again Write..
6. Ask foh Extra Sheet..
7. Again Keep Writing..
Seven things Boys do in an Exam Hall:
1. Count da No of Girls..
2. Check Out the Young Lady Supervisor..
3. Counting How Many Windows n Doors..
4. Revising the Location of Chits in da Pockets..
5. Seeing the Brand Name of a Pen..
6. Waiting foh the Time, To Get Out of here..
7. Think to study Well atleast 4 Next Exam :D
SUNO GAUR SE PEPSI WALO,BURI NAZAR NA COKE PE DLO,CHAHE JITNA DEW PILALO,SBSE AAGE HONGE NIMBU PANI....HUMNE PIYA HAI,TUM BHI PIYO..... :D
1 Samosa 50 paise ka
Aur 1 call 7 Rs. ki thi...
.
.
.
.
Aur aaj...
1 call 50paise ki
Aur 1 Samosa 7Rs. ka hai...
Moral : Mehngayi nahi badi...bas keematen idhar udhar hogayi hai ;) :P
A rich girl was walking by the river in the jungle & suddenly saw a crocodile.
She screamed:
OH MY GOD... "LACOSTE" :P lol
3 Lasan
50 Gm Zira
3 Pao Mirch
2 Spøøn Namak
...1 Cup Water
Aur
Thora sa Hara Danya
Pta Hai Hum Kya Bana Rahey Hain?
apKo
bewaqof
Aur
Wo B Masala laga k.
Chalta nai wo alg bat he
Ap smart hen,
Koi manta nai alg bt he
...
Ap ameer hen,
Kanjus hen wo alg bt he
Ap shareef hen,
Lagte nai wo alg bt he
Ap smart hen,
larki nhe pati wo alg bt he
kafi izzat hai apki,
Koi karta nhe ye alg bat ha.....:P haha
.
if one can do it ...i can do it too.
,
if no one can do it ..i must do it.
,
Indian philosophy..
.
if one can do it..let him do..
,
if no one can do it..how can i.
1. I think the question is wrong.
2. I'll tell you tomorrow.
3. Dont ask foolish questions.
...4. You'll study this in your next semesters.
and the most famous...
5. Raise your hands who knows the answer ?
if still not answered then...
Your homework is to find this answer, i'll not tell you now....!!
First turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right.
Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat. :D
- Sit on ur chair Bend ur head back
Close ur eyes slowly
...
Completely relax & say
.
.
.
Bhaar me gya result.. :P
YOU MUST BRING THE CHANGE
THESE ARE GREAT LINES SAID BY
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
MAGAN KAKA
(THE BUS DRIVER)
NOW READ AGAIN....
:)
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents
are due to driving without drinking!!!
MAI KARU TO SALA CHARACTER DHEELA HAI
:)
the guy/gal must have studied the cow thoroughly to know that it has soft palms underneath her feet.
with your permission I will email it to a few of my friends
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes
&
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone
Hitesh wrote: "CHANGE CAN'T BE GIVEN TO YOU EVERYTIME
YOU MUST BRING THE CHANGE
THESE ARE GREAT LINES SAID BY
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
MAGAN KAKA
(THE BUS DRIVER)
NOW READ AGAIN....
:)"
lollz yeah..that was my post...hehehe...
reading this. This
is a true essay written by a - candidate at the
UPSC(IAS)Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian ..."
Lollz did I ever tell you that I want to become an IAS officer??
his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, h..."
OMG!
Indian Readers
Books mentioned in this topic
The Tale of Hodja Nasreddin: Disturber of the Peace (other topics)The Tale of Hodja Nasreddin: Disturber of the Peace (other topics)
Aesop’s Fables (other topics)
Le storie di Giufà (other topics)
I was feeling bored. None to play games in GR. So I started surfing for jokes online and got a few gems. Then this idea of maintaining a jokes/lighter thread came to my mind.
All are free to contribute to this. Only thing, no dirty jokes as we have young and impressionable members with us (including myself