What do you think?
Rate this book
Call Me By Your Name #1
Call Me By Your Name
Call Me by Your Name is the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blossoms between an adolescent boy and a summer guest at his parents' cliff-side mansion on the Italian Riviera. Unprepared for the consequences of their attraction, at first each feigns indifference. But during the restless summer weeks that follow, unrelenting buried currents of obsession and fear, fascination and desire, intensify their passion as they test the charged ground between them. What grows from the depths of their spirits is a romance of scarcely six weeks' duration and an experience that marks them for a lifetime. For what the two discover on the Riviera and during a sultry evening in Rome is the one thing both already fear they may never truly find again: total intimacy.
The psychological maneuvers that accompany attraction have seldom been more shrewdly captured than in André Aciman's frank, unsentimental, heartrending elegy to human passion. Call Me by Your Name is clear-eyed, bare-knuckled, and ultimately unforgettable.
The psychological maneuvers that accompany attraction have seldom been more shrewdly captured than in André Aciman's frank, unsentimental, heartrending elegy to human passion. Call Me by Your Name is clear-eyed, bare-knuckled, and ultimately unforgettable.
248 pages, Paperback
First published January 23, 2007
About the author
André Aciman
50 books9,645 followersAndré Aciman was born in Alexandria, Egypt and is an American memoirist, essayist, novelist, and scholar of seventeenth-century literature. He has also written many essays and reviews on Marcel Proust. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Review of Books, The New York Times, The Paris Review, The New Republic, Condé Nast Traveler as well as in many volumes of The Best American Essays. Aciman received his Ph.D. in Comparative Literature from Harvard University, has taught at Princeton and Bard and is Distinguished Professor of Comparative Literature at The CUNY Graduate Center. He is currently chair of the Ph. D. Program in Comparative Literature and founder and director of The Writers' Institute at the Graduate Center.
Aciman is the author of the Whiting Award-winning memoir Out of Egypt (1995), an account of his childhood as a Jew growing up in post-colonial Egypt. Aciman has published two other books: False Papers: Essays in Exile and Memory (2001), and a novel Call Me By Your Name (2007), which was chosen as a New York Times Notable Book of the Year and won the Lambda Literary Award for Men's Fiction (2008). His forthcoming novel Eight White Nights (FSG) will be published on February 14, 2010
Aciman is the author of the Whiting Award-winning memoir Out of Egypt (1995), an account of his childhood as a Jew growing up in post-colonial Egypt. Aciman has published two other books: False Papers: Essays in Exile and Memory (2001), and a novel Call Me By Your Name (2007), which was chosen as a New York Times Notable Book of the Year and won the Lambda Literary Award for Men's Fiction (2008). His forthcoming novel Eight White Nights (FSG) will be published on February 14, 2010
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49,006 reviews
August 26, 2023
A friend of mine took me to a French film festival when I was in my 20s. The first movie we watched was about a creepy little 12 or 13 year old kid who stole a piece of raw liver from his mother's kitchen and proceeded to have relations with it. He then returned the liver to the kitchen, where his mother lovingly (and none the wiser) proceeded to cook the organ meat for her family, and then we, the audience, were subjected to watching them all eat it. The little creep then got bored with stealing and sullying the family's groceries, so he started having relations with a neighborhood cat. It was at this point that I stood up and announced to my friend, “I'll be at the car. Join me when you're ready.”
That night that movie made it clear to me that we just don't need to sit through every program or movie or read through every book. Not every aspect of “art” is made for us in mind. It's true that sometimes we should consider stretching our comfort zones and not always abandon something because it makes us slightly uncomfortable. But, it may also be true that sometimes something is just plain disgusting to our senses.
This book, Call Me By Your Name could fall into either (or both categories) depending upon your perspective.
My grandmother, who was born in 1923, was from a different time, and never, within her lifetime, became comfortable with the topic of homosexuality (to be honest, she wasn't all that comfortable with the topic of heterosexuality). Hers was not a religious bias, more a cultural one, but naturally many religious perspectives against homosexuality exist still today. This book would not have been palatable to my grandmother for that reason, and is not for everyone.
I, on the other hand, have no religious or cultural bias against stories that explore sexual relations between any consenting adults. And, the homosexual relationship that happens here is actually the most palatable one to me in the entire story. To be frank, I was cheering on the Elio-Oliver relationship right from the start.
THIS was not my problem. But, I'd LOVE to tell you what was.
First off, this kid Elio is the most unrealistic 17-year-old character (unless you want to include any character from Jaws) I've come across in a while. Nothing about him seems legitimate, from his completely unrealistic grasp of translating the most difficult musical masterpieces to expressing insecurities about himself but then boldly proclaiming himself sexually to a man seven years his senior. Absolutely none of his dialogue is believable and he remains a totally unformed character, from beginning to end.
AND. . . not only was I perpetually frustrated with Mr. Unformed and Mr. Inauthentic Voice, I then needed to journey with him on his secret, perverted mission of finding his Dreamboy's dirty bathing suit and rubbing it all over his face and then “kissing every corner of it,” only to find himself disappointed that he didn't find any pubic hair.
People, a creeper did this to my mother's dirty underwear in college and she and my father called the cops. Get it? That ain't sexy, that's creepy.
And then. . . oh boy. Now (grab me a Xanax, will you?). . . the peach scene.
Argh. Crumble. The peach scene on page 147 is where I closed the book and declared again, “I'll be at the car. Join me when you're ready.”
I'll try to spare you the spoilers and just say that, instead of raw liver, this young man sullies a very good peach, and afterwards thinks:
What a crazy thing this was. I let myself hang back, holding the fruit in both hands, grateful that I hadn't gotten the sheet dirty with either juice or come. The bruised and damaged peach, like a rape victim, lay on its side on my desk, shamed, loyal, aching, and confused, struggling not to spill what I'd left inside.
EXCUSE ME?? Like a “rape victim. . . shamed, loyal, aching, and confused??” Shame on you, Mr. Aciman, for this disgusting and inappropriate metaphor.
You have pissed me off, sir!
Your book will remain UNFINISHED by me.
That night that movie made it clear to me that we just don't need to sit through every program or movie or read through every book. Not every aspect of “art” is made for us in mind. It's true that sometimes we should consider stretching our comfort zones and not always abandon something because it makes us slightly uncomfortable. But, it may also be true that sometimes something is just plain disgusting to our senses.
This book, Call Me By Your Name could fall into either (or both categories) depending upon your perspective.
My grandmother, who was born in 1923, was from a different time, and never, within her lifetime, became comfortable with the topic of homosexuality (to be honest, she wasn't all that comfortable with the topic of heterosexuality). Hers was not a religious bias, more a cultural one, but naturally many religious perspectives against homosexuality exist still today. This book would not have been palatable to my grandmother for that reason, and is not for everyone.
I, on the other hand, have no religious or cultural bias against stories that explore sexual relations between any consenting adults. And, the homosexual relationship that happens here is actually the most palatable one to me in the entire story. To be frank, I was cheering on the Elio-Oliver relationship right from the start.
THIS was not my problem. But, I'd LOVE to tell you what was.
First off, this kid Elio is the most unrealistic 17-year-old character (unless you want to include any character from Jaws) I've come across in a while. Nothing about him seems legitimate, from his completely unrealistic grasp of translating the most difficult musical masterpieces to expressing insecurities about himself but then boldly proclaiming himself sexually to a man seven years his senior. Absolutely none of his dialogue is believable and he remains a totally unformed character, from beginning to end.
AND. . . not only was I perpetually frustrated with Mr. Unformed and Mr. Inauthentic Voice, I then needed to journey with him on his secret, perverted mission of finding his Dreamboy's dirty bathing suit and rubbing it all over his face and then “kissing every corner of it,” only to find himself disappointed that he didn't find any pubic hair.
People, a creeper did this to my mother's dirty underwear in college and she and my father called the cops. Get it? That ain't sexy, that's creepy.
And then. . . oh boy. Now (grab me a Xanax, will you?). . . the peach scene.
Argh. Crumble. The peach scene on page 147 is where I closed the book and declared again, “I'll be at the car. Join me when you're ready.”
I'll try to spare you the spoilers and just say that, instead of raw liver, this young man sullies a very good peach, and afterwards thinks:
What a crazy thing this was. I let myself hang back, holding the fruit in both hands, grateful that I hadn't gotten the sheet dirty with either juice or come. The bruised and damaged peach, like a rape victim, lay on its side on my desk, shamed, loyal, aching, and confused, struggling not to spill what I'd left inside.
EXCUSE ME?? Like a “rape victim. . . shamed, loyal, aching, and confused??” Shame on you, Mr. Aciman, for this disgusting and inappropriate metaphor.
You have pissed me off, sir!
Your book will remain UNFINISHED by me.
December 10, 2021
This book is a fucking axe to the heart. But because my heart, perhaps yours, too, was broken long ago, no further damage can be done. So perhaps the book's more like a probe, yes, a very discomfiting probe, making a fuller assessment of the wreckage. The book is also a final report of the survey. Finally, one thinks, here’s someone who has not only plumbed the depths of heartbreak, but who’s taken excruciatingly detailed notes along the way revealing every nuance of the required self-abasement. The result is an astonishing catharsis for the reader.
This is what literature at its best can do. Think Aeschylus’s Oresteia, but with an all-mortal cast and without the choruses. I speak here of the novel’s sheer emotional power.
For most of the novel the narrative is the first-person thoughts, fantasies, worries, shames and fears of Elio in the summer of his 17th year. The young man is with his parents at their big comfortable summer house on the Italian Riviera. It’s the mid-1980s. The boy’s father is an academic and Oliver, 24, is a young American colleague exchanging some brief work as amanuensis for room and board while finishing his own manuscript. But in the marvelous, big-hearted Italian sense, Oliver, even if for only the six weeks of his stay, is very much a part of the family.
Women are alluring to Elio but they are not his predominant fascination this particular summer. Description is thin at first, almost transient, and because the reader’s not distracted by descriptive flights he or she never feels far from the anguish of Elio. Life’s first love is the theme, and this iteration is so fresh, so vivid and beautifully layered, that it’s not to be missed. Among the best parts of the novel are those passages in which Elio—before his intimacy with Oliver begins—imagines what he might say to Oliver, the multiple responses he might at any moment utter in Oliver’s presence, or imagined presence. Elio’s mind is racing with alternative scenarios. Is this even what he wants? He’s not sure but he wants to find out. Matters are thought out and after some new bit of action or information, rethought and modified. The technique reminds me of Philip Roth’s American Pastoral, in which circumstances are similarly considered then reconsidered. There is a mastery of tone here that constantly astonishes and bewilders.
Later in the novel, when the description intensifies, it’s as if it has been saved for just these moments of lovemaking, the confidential exchanges between the two in their subsequent walks and swims, their farewell in Rome, the devastating coda. It is the frankness between the two young men that to my mind constitutes the book’s magic. That something as amorphous as desire can be written about with such fluidity and integrity is near miraculous. The wrenching depiction of Elio’s new and utterly discomfiting passion consumes not only him but us as well.
In closing, let me say that this book is likely to resound more with those with some mileage on them (real or metaphorical). The prerequisite is suffering. One can’t imagine the novel’s insights and wisdom working their wonders on anyone who hasn’t at some time put everything on the line.
“In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.” —Thornton Wilder
The end was simply excruciating yet I couldn't stop reading. Extremely powerful. I will reread this one soon. In terms of achievement, I place Call Me By Your Name on the same shelf as Madame Bovary and Lolita and, yes, very near Aeschylus too.
This is what literature at its best can do. Think Aeschylus’s Oresteia, but with an all-mortal cast and without the choruses. I speak here of the novel’s sheer emotional power.
For most of the novel the narrative is the first-person thoughts, fantasies, worries, shames and fears of Elio in the summer of his 17th year. The young man is with his parents at their big comfortable summer house on the Italian Riviera. It’s the mid-1980s. The boy’s father is an academic and Oliver, 24, is a young American colleague exchanging some brief work as amanuensis for room and board while finishing his own manuscript. But in the marvelous, big-hearted Italian sense, Oliver, even if for only the six weeks of his stay, is very much a part of the family.
Women are alluring to Elio but they are not his predominant fascination this particular summer. Description is thin at first, almost transient, and because the reader’s not distracted by descriptive flights he or she never feels far from the anguish of Elio. Life’s first love is the theme, and this iteration is so fresh, so vivid and beautifully layered, that it’s not to be missed. Among the best parts of the novel are those passages in which Elio—before his intimacy with Oliver begins—imagines what he might say to Oliver, the multiple responses he might at any moment utter in Oliver’s presence, or imagined presence. Elio’s mind is racing with alternative scenarios. Is this even what he wants? He’s not sure but he wants to find out. Matters are thought out and after some new bit of action or information, rethought and modified. The technique reminds me of Philip Roth’s American Pastoral, in which circumstances are similarly considered then reconsidered. There is a mastery of tone here that constantly astonishes and bewilders.
Later in the novel, when the description intensifies, it’s as if it has been saved for just these moments of lovemaking, the confidential exchanges between the two in their subsequent walks and swims, their farewell in Rome, the devastating coda. It is the frankness between the two young men that to my mind constitutes the book’s magic. That something as amorphous as desire can be written about with such fluidity and integrity is near miraculous. The wrenching depiction of Elio’s new and utterly discomfiting passion consumes not only him but us as well.
In closing, let me say that this book is likely to resound more with those with some mileage on them (real or metaphorical). The prerequisite is suffering. One can’t imagine the novel’s insights and wisdom working their wonders on anyone who hasn’t at some time put everything on the line.
“In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.” —Thornton Wilder
The end was simply excruciating yet I couldn't stop reading. Extremely powerful. I will reread this one soon. In terms of achievement, I place Call Me By Your Name on the same shelf as Madame Bovary and Lolita and, yes, very near Aeschylus too.
May 2, 2023
“He came. He left. Nothing else had changed. I had not changed. The world hadn't changed. Yet nothing would be the same. All that remains is dreammaking and strange remembrance.”
I should probably issue a warning that this is a book I usually wouldn't like. I think. A summer romance up to its neck in purple prose and wandering introspection sounds like a nightmare. And yet, there was something so beautiful, awful, intoxicating and sad about Call Me by Your Name. Maybe I like it because - and I hate to admit this - there is a part of me that recognizes something of myself within it.
Either you have been this kind of person, perhaps still are this kind of person, or you have not, are not, and this book will seem overwritten and alien. I, unfortunately, have experienced that deep, all-encompassing infatuation with another person. I don't personally call it love; not anymore. Instead, it's a feeling of overwhelming, almost feverish, obsession with their existence-- their body, their laugh, and everything they do or say.
I’m not proud of it and I don’t think it’s healthy. But I do think this book captures it in all its intensity and sadness. Call Me by Your Name, for me, stands apart from other romances because it doesn't follow the usual formula of two people meet, cliche flirtations and angst ensue, and then finally they end up together. It's not a spoiler to say this isn't that kind of story; if you're reading it for the warm fuzzies then you're going to be disappointed.
It is about seventeen-year-old Elio, who falls into a deep romantic and sexual obsession with the twenty-four year-old Oliver when the latter becomes a summer guest at Elio's parents' Italian villa. If there was ever a perfect place to set a heady novel of this kind, then it must be the cliffs of the Italian Riviera. I can feel my cold heart melting just thinking about it.
We stay inside Elio's mind as he fantasizes romantically and sexually about Oliver. Aciman builds a novel based on innermost thoughts and the most painful of emotions. It is sometimes almost too much and I wanted to look away as Elio feels like he can’t get close enough; feels like he wants to crawl inside Oliver's skin. It’s an intoxicatingly romantic, intimate, physical, miserable experience.
There is one moment when Elio's wise father comforts him: “Right now there’s sorrow. I don’t envy the pain. But I envy you the pain.” Which I thought was deeply sad, though also perfect. It might not be my usual choice of book, but I think Call Me by Your Name is one that will stay with me. Sometimes it is the exceptions to my rules that I find myself remembering the most.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube
December 23, 2017
2.5 stars
As a gay man, I feel happy seeing queer intimacies receive more acceptance and popularity, as evidenced by this book's film adaptation this year. I appreciate the pulsating emotions of lust and desire in Call Me by Your Name, even if my own first crushes did not manifest into much of anything. However, I struggled to get into this book. The writing felt too distant, intellectual, and heavy for me to immerse myself in Elio and Oliver's world. The book contained so much introspection and I wanted more scenes, to get us into these present moments with the two lovers. And while I understand that the book aims to portray infatuation, I found myself bored at times with Elio's obsession with Oliver. Could he have thought some more about the healthfulness or unhealthfulness of his feelings for Oliver? Or could Andre Aciman have included more details about these characters other than their feelings for one another, to make them both more three-dimensional? I wish we had received more from these characters: more dialogue, more development, and more insight into their desire for one another.
Overall, an okay book that I am curious to see as a film, as I predict the movie may better portray the emotions of the book through lush and/or lustful visuals. If you want a high-quality gay romance this holiday season, check out A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz , and Imagine Me Gone and You Are Not a Stranger Here by Adam Haslett. Still, yay for a gay romance garnering attention, even if it does feature two white leads and conventionally attractive characters.
As a gay man, I feel happy seeing queer intimacies receive more acceptance and popularity, as evidenced by this book's film adaptation this year. I appreciate the pulsating emotions of lust and desire in Call Me by Your Name, even if my own first crushes did not manifest into much of anything. However, I struggled to get into this book. The writing felt too distant, intellectual, and heavy for me to immerse myself in Elio and Oliver's world. The book contained so much introspection and I wanted more scenes, to get us into these present moments with the two lovers. And while I understand that the book aims to portray infatuation, I found myself bored at times with Elio's obsession with Oliver. Could he have thought some more about the healthfulness or unhealthfulness of his feelings for Oliver? Or could Andre Aciman have included more details about these characters other than their feelings for one another, to make them both more three-dimensional? I wish we had received more from these characters: more dialogue, more development, and more insight into their desire for one another.
Overall, an okay book that I am curious to see as a film, as I predict the movie may better portray the emotions of the book through lush and/or lustful visuals. If you want a high-quality gay romance this holiday season, check out A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz , and Imagine Me Gone and You Are Not a Stranger Here by Adam Haslett. Still, yay for a gay romance garnering attention, even if it does feature two white leads and conventionally attractive characters.
Read
January 12, 2022“If I could have him like this in my dreams every night of my life, I'd stake my entire life on dreams and be done with the rest.”
This book has been on my to-read list for a few years, but now that the film is set to be released, I believed it was time to get going and pick it up once and for all. From what I had seen of the film - that is shirtless Armie Hammer and not much else because I wanted to read the book before even watching the trailer - and from what I had heard about the book, I was up for a promising and exciting read. Oh, and a gay one, too.
To be blunt, I expected more. More emotion most of all. Longing and sexual frustration dominated most of the novel, but I was looking for dramatic heartbreak and high emotions. Maybe a tear or two. Maybe I didn't connect enough with Elio, the main character. Sometimes I even disliked him. Then again I understood his aching and longing for a guy that seemed so very much out of reach.
What bothered me most was the highbrow narrative style, the thousands upon thousands of cultural references to literature, music and art. I felt like someone had slapped me with a travelling guide and a Latin dictionary over and over again. It seemed pretentious and took away my interest in the novel.
The writing was beautiful at times and overwhelming at others. Sentences were much too long and seemed never-ending. Pretentious, again.
I can't decide if I want to give this two or three stars - I might change the rating again later. It's not that I disliked the novel, on the contrary, sometimes it was like a dream: Italian food prepared by a personal cook, strolling on the beach, lazing around in the sun, handsome and interesting people around night and day. The openness with which Aciman wrote the gay sex scenes surprised me positively. But especially towards the end, it almost bored me, for reasons that I already mentioned above.
However, I have high hopes for the film adaption. It has the chance to develop the feelings and the relationship between Elio and Oliver much better and to actually make me feel something.
Find more of my books on Instagram
This book has been on my to-read list for a few years, but now that the film is set to be released, I believed it was time to get going and pick it up once and for all. From what I had seen of the film - that is shirtless Armie Hammer and not much else because I wanted to read the book before even watching the trailer - and from what I had heard about the book, I was up for a promising and exciting read. Oh, and a gay one, too.
To be blunt, I expected more. More emotion most of all. Longing and sexual frustration dominated most of the novel, but I was looking for dramatic heartbreak and high emotions. Maybe a tear or two. Maybe I didn't connect enough with Elio, the main character. Sometimes I even disliked him. Then again I understood his aching and longing for a guy that seemed so very much out of reach.
What bothered me most was the highbrow narrative style, the thousands upon thousands of cultural references to literature, music and art. I felt like someone had slapped me with a travelling guide and a Latin dictionary over and over again. It seemed pretentious and took away my interest in the novel.
The writing was beautiful at times and overwhelming at others. Sentences were much too long and seemed never-ending. Pretentious, again.
I can't decide if I want to give this two or three stars - I might change the rating again later. It's not that I disliked the novel, on the contrary, sometimes it was like a dream: Italian food prepared by a personal cook, strolling on the beach, lazing around in the sun, handsome and interesting people around night and day. The openness with which Aciman wrote the gay sex scenes surprised me positively. But especially towards the end, it almost bored me, for reasons that I already mentioned above.
However, I have high hopes for the film adaption. It has the chance to develop the feelings and the relationship between Elio and Oliver much better and to actually make me feel something.
Find more of my books on Instagram
April 18, 2022
I wanted to kill him myself . . . If I didn't kill him, then I'd cripple him for life, so that he'd be with us in a wheelchair . . . If he were in a wheelchair, I would always know where he was, and he'd be easy to find. I would feel superior to him and become his master, now that he was crippled.Ah yes, this is a psychological thriller in which we delve deep into the mind and thoughts of a stalker. Err, you say this is a romance? Ok, you've lost me.
Let me just come out and say it: Call Me by Your Name is awful. It reads like the obsessive, icky, slavish ramblings of an unbalanced teenager rather than the beautiful romance I was promised.
In order to have an enjoyable romance, I need to be able to relate to the characters. Unfortunately, I did not relate to a single person in here. It's unclear why the boys liked each other, other than pure physical attraction:
To think that I had almost fallen for the skin of his hands, his chest, his feet that had never touched a rough surface in their existence—and his eyes, which when their other, kinder gaze fell on you, came like the miracle of the Resurrection.Yes, the book really reads like that, all of it. Elio analyzes every small action, glance, word, and absence from Oliver. And then he obsesses over them. And leaves clues for Oliver, ones that are certain to be creepy and criminal. And it just gets worse from there.
If this were a thriller about the inner workings of an unhinged stalker, I would understand. But I just cannot believe that this is supposed to be a romance, and the other person would reciprocate such desperate and inane infatuations.
It doesn't help that the writing style is so overwrought and full of itself. It's stuffed with references to obscure old writings and music, none of which I knew.
I don't understand how this book could be so highly rated. It was awful purple prose at best and romanticizing criminal behavior at worst. Unless you somehow like the passages I quoted above and can relate to them, it's probably best to avoid this book.
January 30, 2020
I've put off writing this review for far too long because I'm afraid I won't do the book justice. I want to write a review that makes everyone drop what they're doing and start reading Call Me by Your Name immediately.
Reading the other reviews, I find a lot of polarization about Aciman's writing style, which I loved. Some people find him pretentious, while others find his prose bordering on poetic. I definitely fall in the latter category.
Most books are read for a good story and I understand that, but other books, like this one, are read for the enjoyment of language. What I mean by that is that a great many of the sentences in this book can be read and enjoyed all on their own because they're so beautifully written. Aciman has obviously labored over his phrasing to the point that I found myself often stopping to reread a sentence a few times and just luxuriate in the warm bath of words.
The story itself is great because it really has the ring of truth. The characters in this book are far from perfect and sometimes infuriating. I won't discuss plot other than to say that it is bittersweet and just real. I think any gay man will see his young self in the protagonist.
So, in summary, read this book!
Reading the other reviews, I find a lot of polarization about Aciman's writing style, which I loved. Some people find him pretentious, while others find his prose bordering on poetic. I definitely fall in the latter category.
Most books are read for a good story and I understand that, but other books, like this one, are read for the enjoyment of language. What I mean by that is that a great many of the sentences in this book can be read and enjoyed all on their own because they're so beautifully written. Aciman has obviously labored over his phrasing to the point that I found myself often stopping to reread a sentence a few times and just luxuriate in the warm bath of words.
The story itself is great because it really has the ring of truth. The characters in this book are far from perfect and sometimes infuriating. I won't discuss plot other than to say that it is bittersweet and just real. I think any gay man will see his young self in the protagonist.
So, in summary, read this book!
June 12, 2022
2022 review:
I read this in southern Italy (perfect spot if I ever knew one) and, I must say, it wasn’t as good as I remember it being. That’s not to say it’s not good, but I remember it being better. I love the writing, the precepts, how Aciman focuses on the tiniest moments. So much of this book is internal. It’s not things happening, really, but the possibility of them happening which is much closer to real life where we’re so contained in our thoughts. He does interesting things with form and speech which you only really realise towards the end which is cool (I love that Oliver and Eliot’s relationship is represented in so many things other than words).
Definitely worth a read. Maintain that the final part is one of the best things ice ever read x
2020 review:
Aciman's writing is rich and quiscent. Past, present and future intercept in Call Me By Your Name, and I love that this book is etched with memories which are immediate and distant at the same time. Just like Elio and Oliver's relationship which is both carnal and abstract.
One of the best final few pages of any novel I've read.
I read this in southern Italy (perfect spot if I ever knew one) and, I must say, it wasn’t as good as I remember it being. That’s not to say it’s not good, but I remember it being better. I love the writing, the precepts, how Aciman focuses on the tiniest moments. So much of this book is internal. It’s not things happening, really, but the possibility of them happening which is much closer to real life where we’re so contained in our thoughts. He does interesting things with form and speech which you only really realise towards the end which is cool (I love that Oliver and Eliot’s relationship is represented in so many things other than words).
Definitely worth a read. Maintain that the final part is one of the best things ice ever read x
2020 review:
Aciman's writing is rich and quiscent. Past, present and future intercept in Call Me By Your Name, and I love that this book is etched with memories which are immediate and distant at the same time. Just like Elio and Oliver's relationship which is both carnal and abstract.
One of the best final few pages of any novel I've read.
May 13, 2021
[Sufjan Stevens playing softly in the distance]
August 30, 2017
How wonderful it is when you find a forever book.
We're all Elio, aren't we?
We're all Elio, aren't we?
March 26, 2020
4/5 Stars ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Phew! What an intense book, what an intense ending. Hello people, I hope you remember this lass here, I haven't written a single review in almost 6 months. Which is the entire period of my internship, the one that's almost ending now. So I picked up reading again, how fucking happy that makes me you have no idea. So, back to the chase.
Call Me by Your Name is the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blossoms between an adolescent boy and a summer guest at his parents' cliff-side mansion on the Italian Riviera. Unprepared for the consequences of their attraction, at first each feigns indifference. But during the restless summer weeks that follow, unrelenting buried currents of obsession and fear, fascination and desire, intensify their passion as they test the charged ground between them. What grows from the depths of their spirits is a romance of scarcely six weeks' duration and an experience that marks them for a lifetime. For what the two discover on the Riviera and during a sultry evening in Rome is the one thing both already fear they may never truly find again: total intimacy.
My experience with this story starts with the movie. Yes, I committed the dreadful sin of watching the movie before reading the book. And yes, I'm a bookworm. FUCKING ARREST ME ALREADY, BITCH. But anyway, I watched the movie, fell in love, bought the book with a 5 euro deal from Book Depository, fell in love again. You see, this book has no plot. I hate books which contain no plot, and things just happen without a specific order or reason. But this book worked because it entailed no plot. This book conveys in us the raw and true and sinful emotions and feelings of Elio, a very special and intricate character, which at the age of 17 falls in love with a 24 year old man. What is more beautiful than this? His emotions are so real that they take form, we can smell them, eat them, feel them ourselves.
This book was so mesmerizing, the writing was so poetic and John-Greeny at times, but it suited it. This kind of writing was needed, otherwise the book wouldn't be as gripping as it was. The ending absolutely and irrevocably annihilated my feelings. This ending wasn't included in the movie, it was something entirely new to me and I don't know how it will work with an alleged sequel I'm hearing is at works, but i'm excited to know the outcome.
I truly hope, we will all find love like this in our lives. Their love moved me in many aspects, and I wish love just like this exists in this world. I want people (and myself) to feel this love to their bones, and always feel young because of it. Anyway, till the next one K BYE!
“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!”
Phew! What an intense book, what an intense ending. Hello people, I hope you remember this lass here, I haven't written a single review in almost 6 months. Which is the entire period of my internship, the one that's almost ending now. So I picked up reading again, how fucking happy that makes me you have no idea. So, back to the chase.
Call Me by Your Name is the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blossoms between an adolescent boy and a summer guest at his parents' cliff-side mansion on the Italian Riviera. Unprepared for the consequences of their attraction, at first each feigns indifference. But during the restless summer weeks that follow, unrelenting buried currents of obsession and fear, fascination and desire, intensify their passion as they test the charged ground between them. What grows from the depths of their spirits is a romance of scarcely six weeks' duration and an experience that marks them for a lifetime. For what the two discover on the Riviera and during a sultry evening in Rome is the one thing both already fear they may never truly find again: total intimacy.
My experience with this story starts with the movie. Yes, I committed the dreadful sin of watching the movie before reading the book. And yes, I'm a bookworm. FUCKING ARREST ME ALREADY, BITCH. But anyway, I watched the movie, fell in love, bought the book with a 5 euro deal from Book Depository, fell in love again. You see, this book has no plot. I hate books which contain no plot, and things just happen without a specific order or reason. But this book worked because it entailed no plot. This book conveys in us the raw and true and sinful emotions and feelings of Elio, a very special and intricate character, which at the age of 17 falls in love with a 24 year old man. What is more beautiful than this? His emotions are so real that they take form, we can smell them, eat them, feel them ourselves.
This book was so mesmerizing, the writing was so poetic and John-Greeny at times, but it suited it. This kind of writing was needed, otherwise the book wouldn't be as gripping as it was. The ending absolutely and irrevocably annihilated my feelings. This ending wasn't included in the movie, it was something entirely new to me and I don't know how it will work with an alleged sequel I'm hearing is at works, but i'm excited to know the outcome.
I truly hope, we will all find love like this in our lives. Their love moved me in many aspects, and I wish love just like this exists in this world. I want people (and myself) to feel this love to their bones, and always feel young because of it. Anyway, till the next one K BYE!
January 16, 2008
I wanted to make fun of this maddening book, but really, I must just want to make fun of myself for loving it. The bare bones of the story could have been assembled using some kind of Gay Coming of Age Novel Trope Generator. Teenager. Grad student. Italian beach. Fruit. Poetry. Jealousy. Sex. Loss. More poetry.
But. I agree with whoever likens Aciman's approach to Proust's (which is probably everybody who has read both Aciman and Proust.) This is not a Gay Coming of Age Novel, at all; it's an elegy for desire, for memory itself; and it manages to visit that interior terrain of longing most notably visited by A LA RECHERCHE DU TEMPS PERDU, without begging a side-by-side comparison. (Which is a feat in itself. What novelist could really survive a direct comparison to Proust? Best to avoid it.)
The frustrations of the novel only become apparent once the spell of Aciman's spare but lovely prose has been broken. While reading it, I never thought to sneer at the clichés, or at the problems of a seventeen year old child of wealthy intellectuals. I was too entranced by the salt breezes and the sunlit stones, and the daily rituals of swimming, breakfast, dissertation work, coffee, dinner guests, town, bed, and the millions of specific new shades of pain that result from each and every moment spent around, and away from, the narrator's object of desire. There are some story frustrations here, to be sure, but from this book, I was only expecting a bit of light escapism for my subway ride. My expectations were so successfully shattered, it was almost uncomfortable to read it in public.
"This novel is hot," wrote NYT reviewer Stacey D'Erasmo. Hell, yes. The heat here is not the heat of sex acts, however, (though there is that) but the heat of an ever-building, single-minded, raw-gutted longing, and the pain of remembering it. The heat is the agony of obsession, when any solitary glance or casual exchange can be sharpened with two, three, ten edges of conflicting meaning.
I don't know that I've ever read a book so relentlessly accurate in its detailing of each precise doubt and hope, but mostly doubt, that colors any interaction or lack of interaction with the object of one's desire. These precise doubts are separated out and distilled purely and tightly and lucidly by Aciman. He just does not let up. This was the great surprise of CALL ME BY YOUR NAME, for me. As much as I thought I'd want to throw this book down at times, I almost missed my stop because it would not let me go.
But. I agree with whoever likens Aciman's approach to Proust's (which is probably everybody who has read both Aciman and Proust.) This is not a Gay Coming of Age Novel, at all; it's an elegy for desire, for memory itself; and it manages to visit that interior terrain of longing most notably visited by A LA RECHERCHE DU TEMPS PERDU, without begging a side-by-side comparison. (Which is a feat in itself. What novelist could really survive a direct comparison to Proust? Best to avoid it.)
The frustrations of the novel only become apparent once the spell of Aciman's spare but lovely prose has been broken. While reading it, I never thought to sneer at the clichés, or at the problems of a seventeen year old child of wealthy intellectuals. I was too entranced by the salt breezes and the sunlit stones, and the daily rituals of swimming, breakfast, dissertation work, coffee, dinner guests, town, bed, and the millions of specific new shades of pain that result from each and every moment spent around, and away from, the narrator's object of desire. There are some story frustrations here, to be sure, but from this book, I was only expecting a bit of light escapism for my subway ride. My expectations were so successfully shattered, it was almost uncomfortable to read it in public.
"This novel is hot," wrote NYT reviewer Stacey D'Erasmo. Hell, yes. The heat here is not the heat of sex acts, however, (though there is that) but the heat of an ever-building, single-minded, raw-gutted longing, and the pain of remembering it. The heat is the agony of obsession, when any solitary glance or casual exchange can be sharpened with two, three, ten edges of conflicting meaning.
I don't know that I've ever read a book so relentlessly accurate in its detailing of each precise doubt and hope, but mostly doubt, that colors any interaction or lack of interaction with the object of one's desire. These precise doubts are separated out and distilled purely and tightly and lucidly by Aciman. He just does not let up. This was the great surprise of CALL ME BY YOUR NAME, for me. As much as I thought I'd want to throw this book down at times, I almost missed my stop because it would not let me go.
January 24, 2019
Fue un libro encantador. Y cada que lo proceso más, me gusta MÁS. Creo que la primer lectura del año estará en mis mejores lecturas del año.
Y TODAVÍA NO VEO LA PELÍCULA PORQUE LA QUIERO VER EN EL CINE.
HASTA CUÁNDO, MÉXICO, HASTA CUÁNDO.
Y TODAVÍA NO VEO LA PELÍCULA PORQUE LA QUIERO VER EN EL CINE.
HASTA CUÁNDO, MÉXICO, HASTA CUÁNDO.
August 30, 2019
Well, this fucked me up.
January 25, 2021
All I know is pain.
This is a contemporary romance between a boy named Elio and his summer guest, Oliver. It's very introspective, dreamy, somehow disconnected from the physical world. I hated it.
The writing felt far away, almost--as if Elio's thoughts were from a whole different planet altogether. It's 50% obscure literary references and 50% Elio being melodramatic and angsty. It is An Important Book™.
Elio is a shallow character who is only half crafted. Before Oliver, he was nothing. We know nothing about his life before this summer. He has no hobbies besides transcribing music and sitting next to the pool, ruminating on the secrets of the universe. I'm trying to describe him, but I simply can't, because there's nothing to describe. He's a vessel through which the story is told. He is not a unique individual.
Oliver isn't much better. We hardly know anything about him, besides the fact that sometimes he wears red bathing suits. I don't even know what he looks like. He's American. He always says "Later" instead of "good-bye." I believe this is supposed to replace a personality.
I did not care about this ship. I did not care about Elio or Oliver. The only person I cared about was Marzia, who was basically used by Elio to cover up his relationship with Oliver, which I thought was disgusting. We do not stan toxicity in this household.
The main problem with this book was the lack of humanity. Every character was under-developed. Even the setting wasn't vibrant. I had a hard time distinguishing Elio's thoughts from what was actually happening. It's very contemplative and brooding, but I find that annoying and I didn't enjoy it at all.
I managed to force myself through until I got to the part where Elio compared a peach to a rape victim, and then I decided to finish this quickly, rate it 0.5 stars, and move on with my life.
Conclusion: Romance is not for me.
Another conclusion: Never again.
0.5 stars, I am traumatized
This is a contemporary romance between a boy named Elio and his summer guest, Oliver. It's very introspective, dreamy, somehow disconnected from the physical world. I hated it.
The writing felt far away, almost--as if Elio's thoughts were from a whole different planet altogether. It's 50% obscure literary references and 50% Elio being melodramatic and angsty. It is An Important Book™.
Elio is a shallow character who is only half crafted. Before Oliver, he was nothing. We know nothing about his life before this summer. He has no hobbies besides transcribing music and sitting next to the pool, ruminating on the secrets of the universe. I'm trying to describe him, but I simply can't, because there's nothing to describe. He's a vessel through which the story is told. He is not a unique individual.
Oliver isn't much better. We hardly know anything about him, besides the fact that sometimes he wears red bathing suits. I don't even know what he looks like. He's American. He always says "Later" instead of "good-bye." I believe this is supposed to replace a personality.
I did not care about this ship. I did not care about Elio or Oliver. The only person I cared about was Marzia, who was basically used by Elio to cover up his relationship with Oliver, which I thought was disgusting. We do not stan toxicity in this household.
The main problem with this book was the lack of humanity. Every character was under-developed. Even the setting wasn't vibrant. I had a hard time distinguishing Elio's thoughts from what was actually happening. It's very contemplative and brooding, but I find that annoying and I didn't enjoy it at all.
I managed to force myself through until I got to the part where Elio compared a peach to a rape victim, and then I decided to finish this quickly, rate it 0.5 stars, and move on with my life.
Conclusion: Romance is not for me.
Another conclusion: Never again.
0.5 stars, I am traumatized
July 22, 2018
Me: This isn't too bad, a little boring and some questionable things but not that bad
Me: *Reads the peach scene*
Me: I am... disgusted
Review also on my blog • Twitter • Bookstagram
Rep: m/m romance, Jewish mc, bi mc
Content warnings: sexual content, misuse of peaches
I have a weird experience with Call Me By Your Name. I saw a YouTuber recommend it in 2015 and I wasn't reading at the time but I did look it up and it sat on my Goodreads TBR for a while. Then I found interest in it again, and I heard that it was turned into a movie and was coming out really soon at the time. My interest in the book kind of went back and forth because of the age gap and all that. But I decided to read it, and oh boy do I have opinions.
First, this book has a simple premise. Two men fall in love in Italy. There's a little bit of an age gap. And that's all I took in because this writing spent more time on atmosphere then actually telling a story. I like atmospheric writing but not this kind. For me it took away from the story. It's the kind you can easily skim and won't lose much if you did.
At times, the book was just excessively boring. I found it really hard to engage with the story or the characters. At times, Oliver was a little creepy. Sometimes he didn't make sure he had consent and just assumed Elio was consenting (a correct assumption but an assumption nonetheless). One time when he did ask Elio if he could kiss him, Elio almost scoffed that he had because they had kissed before. That was a strange thing to add, Oliver was trying to respect his boundaries, Elio didn't need to say he didn't like it.
Oliver also, as the goddamn adult in the situation, does point out that their relationship was inappropriate and still goes through with it. That didn't really sit well with me. I think they needed more communication since this is a complicated relationship. I think they're should've been more.
Aside from all that, there was the peach scene. Before that, this would've been a two star but this brought the book down for me, to the point I just skimmed until the end. I was horrified. If you don't want to know what the scene is, then stop here and go read another book.
Anyway, what happened in the scene was the Elio masturbated into a peach. He took the seed out and everything. He also orgasmed into it, leaving his semen in it. And then Oliver knowing this, eats it. He takes a full on fucking bite into this desecrated peach. I'm no stranger to smut scenes, most of what I read is adult romances so sex doesn't bother me (well, unless it's foot fetishes which was in this too) but I draw the line at shit like this. I actually felt nauseous. Before that scene, this would've been a two star read but it genuinely ruined everything.
Am I going to watch the movie? Probably not. Especially knowing the peach scene is in it (alright I'll stop with the peach scene) but I really didn't like the relationship either. The book is overall overhyped and I never connected with the characters. The writing felt like it kept me at arms length, and I am already forgetting what happened in this book.
March 9, 2018
A/N 03/18: i did this. and like all my public mistakes, erasing the evidence of it won't erase the consequences.
it stays.
as much to remind me how it happened as to accept that it did at all.
little intimacies.
of the many, many aspects of this book that resonated with us, one in particular was the basis of an interesting exchange between me and author santino hassell.
that exchange is excerpted below.
SH: what do you think so far
JAG: i like it. it's very good at being what i think of as authentic teen gay boy POV
SH: it reminds me of something
JAG: it reminds me of a lot of things
SH: the parts where he's talking about how hot and cold the love interest dude gets
JAG: yes, with his facial expression
SH: yeah
JAG: that, specifically that. i've been there. with someone like that. it's a little scary. and then you understand them and it stops being scary, sometimes
SH: yes. i had a friend like that. when i was a kid. i thought i was in love with him but he was straight
JAG: i was thinking of the exact same thing. i had the exact same thing. a friend, when i was a teen. he'd be warm and affectionate and then his face would go cold like i was a stranger
SH: yes. that's how my friend was. i think he suspected i wanted him. he didn't know how to feel about it
JAG: that's what that scene in the book is about. they realize you have deeper feelings and they don't know how to deal, and then their face goes fucked, in this moment of vulnerability. they can't hide the panic or the revulsion
SH: yes
JAG: and it looks like that
SH: yes
JAG: because straight dudes can feel warm affection for you too, obviously. and for a moment—with some of them—they feel... when they realize you want them, they feel that their affection has left them exposed. like their affection has been abused
SH: that's exactly what my friend acted like. like all the times we'd been close, i'd taken advantage of him. he suspected me. and then he found out when he caught me and another boy fooling around in the locker rooms. found out that i really was bi. and then he knew he'd been right about me, and didn't know how to handle it
JAG: in the book, i recognized it right away. that feeling of ...recoiling
SH: yes
JAG: of resentment. it looks like that
SH: that was... a horrible experience
JAG: it happened to me too. i wonder if it happens to every queer person
SH: i wonder the same thing
JAG: like imagine you're a girl, you have your best girl friends, going to the bathroom together, secrets, sharing lipstick...
SH: yeah
JAG: little intimacies. and then you tell your girlfriends you're queer and they remember all those times, all those intimacies
SH: that's what happened with him, with my friend. he listed all of these things and acted like i'd manipulated something to make those things happen, or like i'd taken advantage of opportunities
JAG: instead of it being about basic humanity, about you being the same person you always were, it was about... about whatever
SH: he made me cry like a bitch
JAG: i'm sorry
SH: i even apologized. even though i hadn't done anything. because i didn't want him to hate me. but he did anyways
JAG: that's fucked. and i know exactly what that's like
SH: yea?
JAG: the first time i ever cried in public was when he told me he didn't want to be my friend. it's a thing that sticks with you. and i... turned into a different person, after that
SH: i'd never been rejected as an entire person because i was bi, before
JAG: i lost all my friends. because i'd made him #1 and everyone else peripheral. and when he was gone, he took all the rest with him
SH: if we smoked he refused to hit the same pipe. before he found out. he was on to me. i don't hide my feelings very well, on my face
JAG: kids feel things with everything. you loved him. and that's hard to hide
SH: when we smoked together i kinda got off on how the blunt or the pipe would be kind of damp from his mouth
JAG: i liked that too. my best girl friend would light my cigarette for me like that. like humphrey bogart. and i would feel really good
SH: i always remember that
JAG: me too
SH: he mentioned it. when he was telling me what a horrible person i was. and that's when i started crying
JAG: asshole
SH: actually i think he felt bad. but not bad enough to take it back
JAG: where was this
SH: at school. he saw me fooling around with the other kid and ran away and i chased after him for two blocks
JAG: shit
SH: he came into the locker room and saw, and gave me this look of disgust and hatred, and i followed him. he told me off on the corner. near central park. he was disgusted i was even near him. and that's where i lost it
JAG: my shit happened at school too
SH: where
JAG: in the building. during class. the hall. i wrote him a letter to ask if we could be friends again and gave it to a teacher's assistant who taught in both of our classes to hand it to him the next day. his class was before mine, so the whole day after i felt like i was going to throw up but also full of this crazy hope. and so finally that class rolls around, with the TA i gave my letter to, and she takes me out into the hall with her to give me what he wrote back. she hands me this folded up thing, and it's my own letter
SH: wow
JAG: and the thing is, dude—it was like being crazy, because i'm smelling him just then. because he had this smell, and only he smelled like this, a really, really good smell. and his smell was on this piece of paper in my hand, on my own letter, and she's saying to me "i'm really sorry. he just said no." and that was it. cried my eyes out right there in the hall in front of whomever
SH: people are fucked. like it's a violation
JAG: i think the point is that it feels like one, to them. they panic. and they don't know how to manage things gracefully. and when you're that young, you really don't. and that leads to The Look. it leads to The No.
SH: yea
JAG: whole-person rejection. for stupidity.
SH: you wanna know something weird? before that happened with my friend, i could fool myself into thinking he semi-reciprocated. he seemed to like being close to me
JAG: that is probably not something you imagined. like with my friend... we had this... unspeakable intimacy? little things
SH: yes
JAG: nice things
SH: yes
JAG: like there's this fence. made out of steel poles in the ground and a single chain, like a suspension bridge, behind the bus stop. we'd stand there every day, waiting for the bus. and while we waited he'd try to balance on the chain, like a tightrope walker. and i'd stand near him. like right under him, just casually talking and whatever like i wasn't loving it, loving him touching me, loving his smell. he'd put his hand on me. he'd rest his weight on me. and we'd just stand there doing that. every day
SH: little things like that matter
JAG: yeah. and there were a thousand of them
SH: ...damn this book
JAG: i am mildly peeved at it as well. the nerve, making us remember this shit
SH: whatever
JAG: yeah, whatever
SH: not like it has anything to do with who we are now
JAG: right, no, totally, nothing
SH: real men don't cry
JAG: i have never cried a day in my life
SH: are you going to use any of this in your review
JAG: obviously
SH: if you put the sissy bits in it i will kill you
JAG: not if i kill you first, motherfucker
SH: i said no!!! no means no!!!
JAG: fine, i'll change your name. a pseudonymous random author buddy talking books and queerz
SH: what will you use
JAG: i will be JAG and you will be PAB
SH: wtf is that
JAG: Punk Assed Bitch
SH: you dare
JAG: can't stop me. can't stop my flo
SH: no, i want Gay Chuck Norris
JAG: wut, Flaming Pustule McGee doesn't appeal to you?
SH: i should stab you
you may readsantino hassell gay chuck norris’s review of this book here.
PS added january 23, 2018:
fuck me in the eye do i hate it when straight actors get kudos for playing queer characters.
that's not "brave," you simpering buttmunch, that's your profession.
i'm glad your vacation in the land of the Less Privileged was so critically acclaimed, but those of us out here exiled by our families or beat up in high school gymnasiums don't get to wear tuxedoes and tell the macabre fucks on entertainment tonight about our exciting growth as actors.
and to be perfectly frank, while i don't know timothy chalamet from a hole in the wall, me and armie hammer go way back—and so i feel led to clarify at this juncture that while i would still happily climb that man like a tree if he managed to keep himself in that doofily sexy, subvocal grunting range of human elocution, i nevertheless simply cannot with him and his comments about having to "pray on it" and ask his wife whether it would be "okay to play a gay man" in a movie.
cannot.
no puedo.
*rude gesture*
it stays.
as much to remind me how it happened as to accept that it did at all.
little intimacies.
of the many, many aspects of this book that resonated with us, one in particular was the basis of an interesting exchange between me and author santino hassell.
that exchange is excerpted below.
SH: what do you think so far
JAG: i like it. it's very good at being what i think of as authentic teen gay boy POV
SH: it reminds me of something
JAG: it reminds me of a lot of things
SH: the parts where he's talking about how hot and cold the love interest dude gets
JAG: yes, with his facial expression
SH: yeah
JAG: that, specifically that. i've been there. with someone like that. it's a little scary. and then you understand them and it stops being scary, sometimes
SH: yes. i had a friend like that. when i was a kid. i thought i was in love with him but he was straight
JAG: i was thinking of the exact same thing. i had the exact same thing. a friend, when i was a teen. he'd be warm and affectionate and then his face would go cold like i was a stranger
SH: yes. that's how my friend was. i think he suspected i wanted him. he didn't know how to feel about it
JAG: that's what that scene in the book is about. they realize you have deeper feelings and they don't know how to deal, and then their face goes fucked, in this moment of vulnerability. they can't hide the panic or the revulsion
SH: yes
JAG: and it looks like that
SH: yes
JAG: because straight dudes can feel warm affection for you too, obviously. and for a moment—with some of them—they feel... when they realize you want them, they feel that their affection has left them exposed. like their affection has been abused
SH: that's exactly what my friend acted like. like all the times we'd been close, i'd taken advantage of him. he suspected me. and then he found out when he caught me and another boy fooling around in the locker rooms. found out that i really was bi. and then he knew he'd been right about me, and didn't know how to handle it
JAG: in the book, i recognized it right away. that feeling of ...recoiling
SH: yes
JAG: of resentment. it looks like that
SH: that was... a horrible experience
JAG: it happened to me too. i wonder if it happens to every queer person
SH: i wonder the same thing
JAG: like imagine you're a girl, you have your best girl friends, going to the bathroom together, secrets, sharing lipstick...
SH: yeah
JAG: little intimacies. and then you tell your girlfriends you're queer and they remember all those times, all those intimacies
SH: that's what happened with him, with my friend. he listed all of these things and acted like i'd manipulated something to make those things happen, or like i'd taken advantage of opportunities
JAG: instead of it being about basic humanity, about you being the same person you always were, it was about... about whatever
SH: he made me cry like a bitch
JAG: i'm sorry
SH: i even apologized. even though i hadn't done anything. because i didn't want him to hate me. but he did anyways
JAG: that's fucked. and i know exactly what that's like
SH: yea?
JAG: the first time i ever cried in public was when he told me he didn't want to be my friend. it's a thing that sticks with you. and i... turned into a different person, after that
SH: i'd never been rejected as an entire person because i was bi, before
JAG: i lost all my friends. because i'd made him #1 and everyone else peripheral. and when he was gone, he took all the rest with him
SH: if we smoked he refused to hit the same pipe. before he found out. he was on to me. i don't hide my feelings very well, on my face
JAG: kids feel things with everything. you loved him. and that's hard to hide
SH: when we smoked together i kinda got off on how the blunt or the pipe would be kind of damp from his mouth
JAG: i liked that too. my best girl friend would light my cigarette for me like that. like humphrey bogart. and i would feel really good
SH: i always remember that
JAG: me too
SH: he mentioned it. when he was telling me what a horrible person i was. and that's when i started crying
JAG: asshole
SH: actually i think he felt bad. but not bad enough to take it back
JAG: where was this
SH: at school. he saw me fooling around with the other kid and ran away and i chased after him for two blocks
JAG: shit
SH: he came into the locker room and saw, and gave me this look of disgust and hatred, and i followed him. he told me off on the corner. near central park. he was disgusted i was even near him. and that's where i lost it
JAG: my shit happened at school too
SH: where
JAG: in the building. during class. the hall. i wrote him a letter to ask if we could be friends again and gave it to a teacher's assistant who taught in both of our classes to hand it to him the next day. his class was before mine, so the whole day after i felt like i was going to throw up but also full of this crazy hope. and so finally that class rolls around, with the TA i gave my letter to, and she takes me out into the hall with her to give me what he wrote back. she hands me this folded up thing, and it's my own letter
SH: wow
JAG: and the thing is, dude—it was like being crazy, because i'm smelling him just then. because he had this smell, and only he smelled like this, a really, really good smell. and his smell was on this piece of paper in my hand, on my own letter, and she's saying to me "i'm really sorry. he just said no." and that was it. cried my eyes out right there in the hall in front of whomever
SH: people are fucked. like it's a violation
JAG: i think the point is that it feels like one, to them. they panic. and they don't know how to manage things gracefully. and when you're that young, you really don't. and that leads to The Look. it leads to The No.
SH: yea
JAG: whole-person rejection. for stupidity.
SH: you wanna know something weird? before that happened with my friend, i could fool myself into thinking he semi-reciprocated. he seemed to like being close to me
JAG: that is probably not something you imagined. like with my friend... we had this... unspeakable intimacy? little things
SH: yes
JAG: nice things
SH: yes
JAG: like there's this fence. made out of steel poles in the ground and a single chain, like a suspension bridge, behind the bus stop. we'd stand there every day, waiting for the bus. and while we waited he'd try to balance on the chain, like a tightrope walker. and i'd stand near him. like right under him, just casually talking and whatever like i wasn't loving it, loving him touching me, loving his smell. he'd put his hand on me. he'd rest his weight on me. and we'd just stand there doing that. every day
SH: little things like that matter
JAG: yeah. and there were a thousand of them
SH: ...damn this book
JAG: i am mildly peeved at it as well. the nerve, making us remember this shit
SH: whatever
JAG: yeah, whatever
SH: not like it has anything to do with who we are now
JAG: right, no, totally, nothing
SH: real men don't cry
JAG: i have never cried a day in my life
SH: are you going to use any of this in your review
JAG: obviously
SH: if you put the sissy bits in it i will kill you
JAG: not if i kill you first, motherfucker
SH: i said no!!! no means no!!!
JAG: fine, i'll change your name. a pseudonymous random author buddy talking books and queerz
SH: what will you use
JAG: i will be JAG and you will be PAB
SH: wtf is that
JAG: Punk Assed Bitch
SH: you dare
JAG: can't stop me. can't stop my flo
SH: no, i want Gay Chuck Norris
JAG: wut, Flaming Pustule McGee doesn't appeal to you?
SH: i should stab you
you may read
PS added january 23, 2018:
fuck me in the eye do i hate it when straight actors get kudos for playing queer characters.
that's not "brave," you simpering buttmunch, that's your profession.
i'm glad your vacation in the land of the Less Privileged was so critically acclaimed, but those of us out here exiled by our families or beat up in high school gymnasiums don't get to wear tuxedoes and tell the macabre fucks on entertainment tonight about our exciting growth as actors.
and to be perfectly frank, while i don't know timothy chalamet from a hole in the wall, me and armie hammer go way back—and so i feel led to clarify at this juncture that while i would still happily climb that man like a tree if he managed to keep himself in that doofily sexy, subvocal grunting range of human elocution, i nevertheless simply cannot with him and his comments about having to "pray on it" and ask his wife whether it would be "okay to play a gay man" in a movie.
cannot.
no puedo.
*rude gesture*
October 1, 2019
❥ 1 / 5 stars - DNF @ PAGE 42
Guys, I don’t get it. I don’t get why this book got such a high average rating like this. I can’t even stand being in Elio’s head. Don’t you think this guy is super creepy?
For instance, while they were talking about apricot, instead of him thinking about apricot, what do you think he thought of? APRICOCK! Oliver’s cock!
WUTTTTTT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
But that one didn’t make me stop reading this book. THIS ONE DID.
IS THIS NORMAL? HELL NO! THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR NORMAL. THIS IS A PSYCHOPATH!!
Fuck it. I shouldn’t have read it. I shouldn’t have read this book. I HATE IT. AND I HATE IT WITH PASSION.
Guys, I don’t get it. I don’t get why this book got such a high average rating like this. I can’t even stand being in Elio’s head. Don’t you think this guy is super creepy?
For instance, while they were talking about apricot, instead of him thinking about apricot, what do you think he thought of? APRICOCK! Oliver’s cock!
WUTTTTTT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
But that one didn’t make me stop reading this book. THIS ONE DID.
If I didn’t kill him, then I’d cripple him for life, so that he’d be with us in a wheelchair and never go back to the States. If he were in a wheelchair, I would always know where he was, and he’d be easy to find. I would feel superior to him and become his master, now that he was crippled.
Then it hit me that I could have killed myself instead, or hurt myself badly enough and let him know why I’d done it. If I hurt my face, I'd want him to look at me and wonder why, why might anyone do this to himself, until, years and years later—yes, Later! —he’d finally piece the puzzle together and beat his head against the wall.
IS THIS NORMAL? HELL NO! THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR NORMAL. THIS IS A PSYCHOPATH!!
Fuck it. I shouldn’t have read it. I shouldn’t have read this book. I HATE IT. AND I HATE IT WITH PASSION.
June 4, 2021
Love or intimacy is not about saying sentimental words for the sake of saying sentimental words even though you have shared almost nothing and know nothing about one another, nor is it about living in your fantastical dream detached from reality, nor is it about sex or everything that dirtiest mind of the protagonist associates with sex.
This book is nothing but over-sentimental, redundant, hubristic, dishonest words that pretend to convey love and intimacy, but indeed convey nothing but resentment, shallowness, egoism, and the disability to love anyone, not even oneself. I won't pretend to know what true love is, but at least I know that the first step of love is to acknowledge that the person you love is neither yourself nor your illusive creation but someone real and concrete.
If Elio truly thinks this is the love of his life, and he holds onto it for goddamn twenty years (as if adding a time period arbitrarily could convince everyone of how special his love story is), all I can say to him is: Get a life!
PS: This book totally ruined my appetite for fruits.
This book is nothing but over-sentimental, redundant, hubristic, dishonest words that pretend to convey love and intimacy, but indeed convey nothing but resentment, shallowness, egoism, and the disability to love anyone, not even oneself. I won't pretend to know what true love is, but at least I know that the first step of love is to acknowledge that the person you love is neither yourself nor your illusive creation but someone real and concrete.
If Elio truly thinks this is the love of his life, and he holds onto it for goddamn twenty years (as if adding a time period arbitrarily could convince everyone of how special his love story is), all I can say to him is: Get a life!
PS: This book totally ruined my appetite for fruits.
June 20, 2021
I turned on spotify , put my head phones on and played the song MYSTERY OF LOVE.
HECK I AM READY TO WRITE THE REVIEW OF THIS BOOK.
…
…
…
...
Me after 15 mins of staring at the screen with tears in my eyes and song plying in my ears and mind thinking about how beautiful is this book!
I freaking fucking loved this book.(understatement of the year!)
No words, no phrase, no vocabulary, no language can put my feelings for this book in words.
How can you even rate or review a masterpiece.
I loved it and I will keep loving it. 💜
HECK I AM READY TO WRITE THE REVIEW OF THIS BOOK.
…
…
…
...
Me after 15 mins of staring at the screen with tears in my eyes and song plying in my ears and mind thinking about how beautiful is this book!
I freaking fucking loved this book.(understatement of the year!)
No words, no phrase, no vocabulary, no language can put my feelings for this book in words.
How can you even rate or review a masterpiece.
I loved it and I will keep loving it. 💜
April 10, 2018
"—¿Te gusta estar solo? —me preguntó.
—No. A nadie le gusta estar solo. Pero he aprendido a vivir con ello".
No sé ni cómo expresar lo precioso y doloroso que es este libro. Llámame Por Tu Nombre no es sólo una historia más de dos hombres que se enamoran, es una historia de amistad, dudas, pérdida, descubrimiento, familia y, por supuesto, amor. Pero no el amor idílico de los felices por siempre jamás, sino de esos amores que trascienden el tiempo, rompen barreras, sacan sonrisas y lágrimas, cambian tu mundo y, aún así, nunca estarán completos del todo.
Llámame Por Tu Nombre es de ese tipo de libros cuyo final no es lo más importante, sino todo el viaje emocional que viven Elio y Oliver a lo largo de un verano, de una vida. Los finales felices no importan aquí, lo que importa son los momentos, los besos robados en Roma, las tardes en la piscina, las notas de medianoche y las miradas que lo decían todo.
Si bien el ritmo del libro no es el más ágil, sí que es un ritmo que le pega un montón a la historia. Lo que viven Oliver y Elio, a pesar de tener una fecha de caducidad, el final del verano, no se basa en un romance de temporada, no es nada apresurado. La tensión que se construye y que notamos por el punto de vista de Elio, un adolescente que teme y a la vez desea dar rienda suelta a sus más hondos pensamientos y fantasías, es genial. Con cada página que pasa necesitamos que Oliver le dé señales claras a Elio, que compartan una mirada cómplice, que por fin se rindan a los labios del otro... Aciman narra todo de una manera tan real y tan ingenua que nos da igual lo parsimonioso de la historia, pues disfrutamos de cada pensamiento y queremos que la pequeña burbuja de felicidad italiana que viven Elio y Oliver dure para siempre.
Llámame Por Tu Nombre tiene la extraña cualidad de narrarse con un tono súper nostálgico que no nos permite olvidar nunca que, por muy especial que haya sido el verano, Oliver seguirá con su vida en Estados Unidos y Elio seguirá pensando en todo lo que vivieron, en todo lo que pudieron ser y en el tiempo que no se puede recuperar. Aciman crea un libro tremendamente triste y nostálgico, pero que nos hace absurdamente felices al leerlo. No me pregunten cómo funciona eso, sencillamente es así. Quizá es el misterio del amor.
"Habíamos encontrado las estrellas, tú y yo. Y esto solo se consigue una vez".
—No. A nadie le gusta estar solo. Pero he aprendido a vivir con ello".
No sé ni cómo expresar lo precioso y doloroso que es este libro. Llámame Por Tu Nombre no es sólo una historia más de dos hombres que se enamoran, es una historia de amistad, dudas, pérdida, descubrimiento, familia y, por supuesto, amor. Pero no el amor idílico de los felices por siempre jamás, sino de esos amores que trascienden el tiempo, rompen barreras, sacan sonrisas y lágrimas, cambian tu mundo y, aún así, nunca estarán completos del todo.
Llámame Por Tu Nombre es de ese tipo de libros cuyo final no es lo más importante, sino todo el viaje emocional que viven Elio y Oliver a lo largo de un verano, de una vida. Los finales felices no importan aquí, lo que importa son los momentos, los besos robados en Roma, las tardes en la piscina, las notas de medianoche y las miradas que lo decían todo.
Si bien el ritmo del libro no es el más ágil, sí que es un ritmo que le pega un montón a la historia. Lo que viven Oliver y Elio, a pesar de tener una fecha de caducidad, el final del verano, no se basa en un romance de temporada, no es nada apresurado. La tensión que se construye y que notamos por el punto de vista de Elio, un adolescente que teme y a la vez desea dar rienda suelta a sus más hondos pensamientos y fantasías, es genial. Con cada página que pasa necesitamos que Oliver le dé señales claras a Elio, que compartan una mirada cómplice, que por fin se rindan a los labios del otro... Aciman narra todo de una manera tan real y tan ingenua que nos da igual lo parsimonioso de la historia, pues disfrutamos de cada pensamiento y queremos que la pequeña burbuja de felicidad italiana que viven Elio y Oliver dure para siempre.
Llámame Por Tu Nombre tiene la extraña cualidad de narrarse con un tono súper nostálgico que no nos permite olvidar nunca que, por muy especial que haya sido el verano, Oliver seguirá con su vida en Estados Unidos y Elio seguirá pensando en todo lo que vivieron, en todo lo que pudieron ser y en el tiempo que no se puede recuperar. Aciman crea un libro tremendamente triste y nostálgico, pero que nos hace absurdamente felices al leerlo. No me pregunten cómo funciona eso, sencillamente es así. Quizá es el misterio del amor.
"Habíamos encontrado las estrellas, tú y yo. Y esto solo se consigue una vez".
November 10, 2014
This is a beautifully written story of passion, obsession, and possibly love.
It's told primarily in the voice of a highly intelligent 17 year old boy living in the Italian Riviera with his family. They are wealthy, have a beautiful villa, and allow tourists to visit, and writers to stay there for the summer. The book is about the obsession the narrator, Elio, has for a young professor named Oliver (one of the writers staying for the summer). The atmosphere is perfectly described. I could picture it vividly, possible because I visited the region in the summer of 2013, but primarily because of the writing.
Out of the three themes I listed above, I think the primary one is obsession which is why I'm not sure if I consider this a love story. That isn't a flaw in my eyes, but I was often disturbed by the narrator during the first third of the book. It isn't the book's fault. A lot of it has to do with my own personal opinions and my current attitude towards people who have the mindset of Elio as he obsessed over Oliver. At first, his interest seems one-sided, but he becomes so focused on it that it consumes him and makes him toxic at times. He tracks Oliver's movements, his conversations with others, choreographs conversations and interactions, and eventually becomes so obsessed that he considers plotting to turn Oliver against a girl he may have interest in out of jealousy and a need to control him. He seemed to see Oliver as primarily a possession even though Elio has made no move to actually make his own interest and desire apparent.
There were two things that snapped me out of my cringing judgment: 1) I had to check myself and remember that Elio is only 17. Extreme emotional responses are more acceptable for a teenager. 2) Elio was aware of how insidious he was being and checked himself.
Other than that brief foray, Elio's feelings were well drawn. I could see their interactions, I could feel what he was feeling, and I understood perfectly his moments of doubt and anguish when he felt rejected. It took me back to moments in my life when I was a teenager and in love with a boy, and how every minor moment was monumental in my mind. And how it feels to be hopeful about something when the outcome is ambiguous, or I could fool myself into thinking it was. Primarily for this reason, I give the book four stars. Elio felt real and sometimes that hurt me, but ultimately it helped his story feel real as well.
Although 80% of the book is literally "told" by Elio more so than scenes are written out in their entirety, I enjoyed the style. However, the book slowed down a lot for me at the end. I guess you can say, the major conflict had been resolved and my engagement dwindled because I assumed things would tie up neatly in a bow and all would be well. I was wrong, but I still found the pacing and final chapters to be at odds with the beginning of the book.
All in all, this is a wonderful coming of age story about a teenage boy who is exploring his sexuality and his first real taste of passion and love. It often felt like I was there beside Elio and Oliver, simultaneously rooting them on while at times wondering if the situation was healthy for either party. Despite my own personal opinions, I can admit that this perfectly captured moments that most people experience in their youth--intense, careless incidents where everything feels important and devastating even if it fades with the end of the season, or the summer, or the semester, but you remember those moments for the rest of your life.
It's told primarily in the voice of a highly intelligent 17 year old boy living in the Italian Riviera with his family. They are wealthy, have a beautiful villa, and allow tourists to visit, and writers to stay there for the summer. The book is about the obsession the narrator, Elio, has for a young professor named Oliver (one of the writers staying for the summer). The atmosphere is perfectly described. I could picture it vividly, possible because I visited the region in the summer of 2013, but primarily because of the writing.
Out of the three themes I listed above, I think the primary one is obsession which is why I'm not sure if I consider this a love story. That isn't a flaw in my eyes, but I was often disturbed by the narrator during the first third of the book. It isn't the book's fault. A lot of it has to do with my own personal opinions and my current attitude towards people who have the mindset of Elio as he obsessed over Oliver. At first, his interest seems one-sided, but he becomes so focused on it that it consumes him and makes him toxic at times. He tracks Oliver's movements, his conversations with others, choreographs conversations and interactions, and eventually becomes so obsessed that he considers plotting to turn Oliver against a girl he may have interest in out of jealousy and a need to control him. He seemed to see Oliver as primarily a possession even though Elio has made no move to actually make his own interest and desire apparent.
There were two things that snapped me out of my cringing judgment: 1) I had to check myself and remember that Elio is only 17. Extreme emotional responses are more acceptable for a teenager. 2) Elio was aware of how insidious he was being and checked himself.
Other than that brief foray, Elio's feelings were well drawn. I could see their interactions, I could feel what he was feeling, and I understood perfectly his moments of doubt and anguish when he felt rejected. It took me back to moments in my life when I was a teenager and in love with a boy, and how every minor moment was monumental in my mind. And how it feels to be hopeful about something when the outcome is ambiguous, or I could fool myself into thinking it was. Primarily for this reason, I give the book four stars. Elio felt real and sometimes that hurt me, but ultimately it helped his story feel real as well.
Although 80% of the book is literally "told" by Elio more so than scenes are written out in their entirety, I enjoyed the style. However, the book slowed down a lot for me at the end. I guess you can say, the major conflict had been resolved and my engagement dwindled because I assumed things would tie up neatly in a bow and all would be well. I was wrong, but I still found the pacing and final chapters to be at odds with the beginning of the book.
All in all, this is a wonderful coming of age story about a teenage boy who is exploring his sexuality and his first real taste of passion and love. It often felt like I was there beside Elio and Oliver, simultaneously rooting them on while at times wondering if the situation was healthy for either party. Despite my own personal opinions, I can admit that this perfectly captured moments that most people experience in their youth--intense, careless incidents where everything feels important and devastating even if it fades with the end of the season, or the summer, or the semester, but you remember those moments for the rest of your life.
October 27, 2017
Gorgeous prose elicits vivid emotions .....
This is a beautiful coming of age novel.... absolutely stunning!
So passionate - so all consuming!
Elio is 17 years old. Every summer his father selects and hosts a doctoral student to stay with them for the summer.
Oliver is the summer student - writing his dissertation.... he has come to Rome... wears his Star of David necklace right out in the open. Elio and his family are also Jewish - but most Jews didn’t flaunt their Star of David for anyone to see ....
Elio begins to jog with Oliver ...and swim .....( oh and the descriptions are breathtaking)...and soon Elio is aching to touch Oliver’s skin - every inch of him.
Elio’s inner thoughts are brilliant- raw - real .....
“But I loved the fear— if fear it really was— and this they didn’t know, my ancestors. It was the underside of fear I loved, like the smoothest wool found on the underbelly of the coarsest sheep. I loved the boldness that was pushing me forward; it aroused me, because it was born of arousal itself. “You’ll kill me if you stop”—or was it: “I’ll die if you stop”. Each time I hear these words, I couldn’t resist.”
“I knock on the glass panel, softly. My heart is beating like crazy. I am afraid of nothing, so why be so frightened? Why? Because everything scares me, because both fear and desire are busy equivocating with each other, with me, I can’t even tell the difference between wanting him to open the door and hoping he stood me up”.
I loved it!!!!!!!!!
I understand there is a movie ..... I’d like to see it. Yet I haven’t heard anything in my area ( yet?)
This is a beautiful coming of age novel.... absolutely stunning!
So passionate - so all consuming!
Elio is 17 years old. Every summer his father selects and hosts a doctoral student to stay with them for the summer.
Oliver is the summer student - writing his dissertation.... he has come to Rome... wears his Star of David necklace right out in the open. Elio and his family are also Jewish - but most Jews didn’t flaunt their Star of David for anyone to see ....
Elio begins to jog with Oliver ...and swim .....( oh and the descriptions are breathtaking)...and soon Elio is aching to touch Oliver’s skin - every inch of him.
Elio’s inner thoughts are brilliant- raw - real .....
“But I loved the fear— if fear it really was— and this they didn’t know, my ancestors. It was the underside of fear I loved, like the smoothest wool found on the underbelly of the coarsest sheep. I loved the boldness that was pushing me forward; it aroused me, because it was born of arousal itself. “You’ll kill me if you stop”—or was it: “I’ll die if you stop”. Each time I hear these words, I couldn’t resist.”
“I knock on the glass panel, softly. My heart is beating like crazy. I am afraid of nothing, so why be so frightened? Why? Because everything scares me, because both fear and desire are busy equivocating with each other, with me, I can’t even tell the difference between wanting him to open the door and hoping he stood me up”.
I loved it!!!!!!!!!
I understand there is a movie ..... I’d like to see it. Yet I haven’t heard anything in my area ( yet?)
April 21, 2019
TIN NÓNG TIN NÓNG!!!! Tác giả Andre Aciman đã confirm sẽ viết phần tiếp theo của "Call Me By Your Name" rồi này mọi người ơi ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! https://www.facebook.com/lgbtusukviet...
Update:
Sau bao tháng ngày đợi mong, cuối cùng thì tôi cũng đã xem được bộ phim “Call me by your name” bản full SD Vietsub. Trước khi xem phim, tôi đã vô cùng ấn tượng với câu chuyện tình yêu nồng nhiệt, đắm say nhưng cuối cùng không thể có một kết thúc có hậu của hai nhân vật chính. Đó là một mối tình ngắn ngủi kéo dài vỏn vẹn chỉ 6 tuần, nhưng có sức ảnh hưởng và để lại dư vị mãi mãi về sau cho cả Elio và Oliver. Mối tình ấy diễn ra trên cái nền mùa hè nước Ý vùng Địa Trung Hải, tràn ngập ánh nắng vàng ấm áp và khung cảnh cổ kính, nên thơ. Khung cảnh ấy, cái ánh vàng của những ngày hè ấm áp đó đã được tái hiện một cách xuất sắc lên màn ảnh, với cái hồ nước nơi Elio và Oliver cùng tắm với nhau, khoảng cỏ rộng nơi mọi người tụ tập chơi bóng chuyền, khu vườn đầy những quả đào, mơ và lựu - những thứ trái cây đậm chất mùa hè, những ly nước mơ ngon lành mát lạnh, những bữa ăn ngoài trời dưới bóng cây, khu thành phố với những tòa nhà, những công trình kiến trúc chứa đựng bề dày lịch sử của nước Ý.
Và trên cái nền đó, một mối tình đẹp và khắc khoải đã diễn ra. Timothée Chalamet đóng vai Elio đã lột tả được hoàn toàn cái thần thái của nhân vật: một cậu thiếu niên nhạy cảm, yêu âm nhạc và hết m��c si tình, đứng trước một tình cảm mới mẻ và đầy ám ảnh dành cho một người đàn ông lớn hơn mình đến tận 7 tuổi. Elio lao vào tình yêu với Oliver như con thiêu thân lao vào lửa, bất chấp kết cục sau này có là gì; cậu yêu như chưa từng được yêu, như thể chính mối tình đầu, chính tình yêu của tuổi trẻ phải thế: dào dạt, điên cuồng và thẳm sâu. Những khoảnh khắc chờ đợi trong bồn chồn cho đến nửa đêm cho cuộc hẹn đầu tiên giữa hai người; những cảnh làm tình với cô bạn Marzia nhưng mắt vẫn hướng về cái đồng hồ đeo tay, tất cả đã làm nên một Elio của tuổi 17 lần đầu tiên thực sự biết yêu, lần đầu tiên thực sự biết ngóng chờ ai đó, tương tư ai đó. Và ai đó của Elio là Oliver, đã được diễn viên Armie Harmmer hóa thân một cách trọn vẹn, với vẻ ngoài cao ráo, đẹp trai và phong thái như một “movie star”, thổi luồng gió mới vào một mùa hè những tưởng như rất đỗi bình thường ở nước Ý.
Trường đoạn khi hai người làm tình với nhau lần đầu tiên, sau đó Oliver thì thầm với Elio rằng: “Call me by your name, and I’ll call you by mine.” (“Hãy gọi anh bằng tên em, và anh sẽ gọi em bằng tên anh.”) đã khiến tôi bật khóc. Tôi khóc vì khoảnh khắc ấy quá đẹp, quá tinh khôi, dẫu nó diễn ra trong bóng tối, bên trong những cánh cửa khép kín của hai căn phòng kế bên nhau. Và tôi khóc bởi vì tôi đã biết trước, rằng dẫu tình yêu ấy có đẹp đến thế nào, tinh khôi đến thế nào, thì cuối cùng, hai người vẫn phải chia tay nhau, vẫn phải bước đi trên những ngã rẽ khác của cuộc đời. Tôi khóc khi thấy Elio khóc, khi cậu dụi đầu vào lòng Oliver mà hỏi anh rằng liệu cậu có bệnh hoạn quá không, khi toàn làm những chuyện kỳ dị cốt chỉ để có anh gần bên, gần hơn nữa; để thỏa mãn cái cơn thèm khát Oliver, thỏa mãn nỗi ám ảnh khát khao của một chàng trai đang lớn dần lên cùng với những cảm xúc mới mẻ mà dữ dội của mình.
Cả Timothée Chalamet và Armie Hammer đều là trai thẳng (Armie Hammer thì đã có vợ con đề huề rồi cơ ^^), vậy mà khi xem phim, đố ai biết được họ không phải là gay, vì chemistry của họ trên màn ảnh quá tuyệt; những cảnh hai nhân vật ôm ấp nhau cứ tự nhiên và tình cảm vô cùng. Phim đã cố gắng đưa được gần như toàn bộ những chi tiết chính của cuốn tiểu thuyết lên phim, nhưng nhìn chung cả hai khác nhau về cách miêu tả câu chuyện, dù chúng đều kể về một câu chuyện giống nhau. Nếu cuốn sách mang trong lòng nó sự dữ dội và ngây ngất của tình dục, của mối kết nối “tuy hai mà một” giữa Elio và Oliver, thì cá nhân tôi thấy phim làm nhẹ nhàng hơn nhiều, nhưng vẫn rất có chiều sâu. Có lẽ vì phim đi theo hướng nghệ thuật, nên cảnh tình dục cũng có, nhưng không đến nỗi quá phô bày hay gây kích động mạnh, trừ cảnh sex của Elio và Marzia (chứ nếu làm y xì như trong sách chắc đã bị gọi là phim kích dục rồi :D). Đến cả cảnh Elio “fuck the peach” (là cảnh nổi bật và gây ấn tượng mạnh nhất của cuốn tiểu thuyết) cũng được làm khá nhẹ nhàng và có phần đáng yêu :D.
Thay vì chuyển tải sự dữ dội của bản truyện gốc, phim đã sử dụng cảnh vật và bầu không khí nước Ý đầy hoài cổ những năm 1980s để kể lại câu chuyện tình khắc khoải của Elio và Oliver. Tông màu vàng ấm của mùa hè cùng nhịp điệu kể chuyện chậm rãi, lời thoại ít, chừa những khoảng không im ắng cho diễn viên diễn xuất đã định hình cách kể chuyện của bộ phim. Ở đây, tôi không bàn luận giữa sách và phim, cái nào hay hơn, bởi mỗi cái đều có những nét riêng đầy cuốn hút của mình. Nhưng cho dù nét riêng ấy có là gì, thì ở tận sâu trong trung tâm của “Call me by your name”, cả bản sách và bản phim, luôn là một câu chuyện đáng để đọc, để xem, để trải nghiệm và cảm nhận, dẫu bằng ngôn ngữ điện ảnh hay ngôn ngữ văn chương. Câu chuyện này đặc biệt và đáng đọc đến nỗi, sau khi xem phim xong, tôi đã buộc mình phải suy nghĩ lại và cho cuốn sách 5 sao thay vì 4 sao như lúc đầu. Cách truyền tải của tác giả có khó hiểu một chút thì đã sao chứ? Về cơ bản, câu chuyện của "Call me by your name" đã quá tuyệt vời và xứng đáng được nằm trong hàng ngũ những cuốn sách 5 sao trên kệ sách của tôi :))
Xem phim giúp tôi hiểu nhiều hơn về nhân vật cha của Elio, một người cha vô cùng tâm lý mà tôi ước ao tất cả những ai thuộc cộng đồng LGBT đều có trong cuộc đời. Đoạn gần kết phim, sau khi Elio đã chia tay Oliver ở ga tàu hỏa và được mẹ chở về nhà, cha của Elio đã chia sẻ với cậu những suy nghĩ và cảm nhận của ông về những gì Elio đã có cùng với Oliver: một điều đặc biệt hiếm hoi và tuyệt đẹp. Và còn những lời khuyên nhủ đúc kết từ chính kinh nghiệm cùng những tiếc nuối của ông về những gì ông đã bỏ lỡ trong đời nữa:
“Then let me say one more thing. It'll clear the air. I may have come close, but I never had what you two have. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business, just remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now, there's sorrow, pain. Don't kill it and with it the joy you've felt.”
Đoạn kết tràn đầy sự dang dở của một mối tình không viên mãn sẽ gây đớn đau và thổn thức cho nhiều người. Nhưng đối với tôi, cái kết đó là hợp lý. Vì ở thời điểm đó, cái thời mà quyền LGBT vẫn còn là một khái niệm quá xa vời, một mối tình đồng tính có thể đi đến đâu? Nếu Elio và Oliver đến được với nhau, nếu họ muốn xây dựng một gia đình của riêng mình, ai sẽ cho phép họ nhận con nuôi? Liệu tình yêu của họ có đủ mạnh mẽ, đủ sâu sắc để vượt qua những dị nghị và dòm ngó của người đời? Gia đình Elio thì tâm lý quá rồi, nhưng còn gia đình của Oliver? Anh đã nói với Elio qua điện thoại là cha anh sẽ đưa anh vào trại cải huấn nếu anh dám công khai tình yêu của mình với Elio và chọn cách ở bên cậu. Và còn cả những kỳ vọng của gia đình và xã hội vào một người đàn ông có học vấn như Oliver nữa. Đơn giản là ở thời điểm đó, một cặp tình nhân đồng tính với tuổi đời trẻ như Elio và Oliver không có nhiều sự lựa chọn để có thể tiếp tục cuộc sống của mình mà không phải hối tiếc vì những quyết định mình đưa ra...
Nghe đâu phim sẽ có phần 2 (ra mắt vào năm 2020), nên thành ra khúc cuối chỉ tiết lộ Oliver chuẩn bị làm đám cưới thôi, chứ không có khúc 20 năm sau khi Oliver trở lại ngôi nhà của gia đình Elio ở Ý, dắt theo vợ cùng hai đứa con trai :)) Sách thì chỉ có một cuốn, nên nếu phim làm phần 2 thì chắc chắn là sẽ tự viết kịch bản rồi ^^ Trước mắt hy vọng mùa “hốt vàng” Oscars sắp tới, phim “Call me by your name” sẽ được đề cử ở hạng mục “Best Picture”, “Best Adapted Screenplay”, “Best Cinematography”, “Best Score”, “Best Song” (mợ ơi cái bài “Mystery of Love” quá hay và quá hợp với không khí của phim ahhhh!!!!), đạo diễn Luca Guadagnino sẽ được đề cử “Best Director”, Timothée Chalamet thì được đề cử “Best Actor in a Leading Role” và Armie Hammer thì được đề cử “Best Actor in a Supporting Role”. Chỉ cần được đề cử thôi là mừng thôi ha ha :D
P. S.: Trong phim thấy nhân vật Elio nói chuyện với Marzia bằng tiếng Pháp, dù khi đọc sách mình không nhớ cô bé này có phải người Pháp không (nhớ là nguyên dàn nhân vật trừ anh Oliver ra là người Ý hết cả…) nên đang thắc mắc (vì câu chuyện diễn ra ở Ý mà lại nói tiếng Pháp :D). Không lẽ tại Timothée Chalamet biết tiếng Pháp chứ không phải tiếng Ý nên cho ẻm nói tiếng Pháp luôn ha ha :))))
Coi phim xong chỉ muốn như cha mẹ của Elio, có một ngôi nhà ở miền Địa Trung Hải của Ý và một khu vườn rộng đầy hoa cùng cây ăn quả, ngày ngày được ngắm cảnh đẹp, ra vườn ngồi đọc sách, chán chê rồi thì đi bơi hồ, tắm sông, tới hè thì được ăn quả ngon, riêng mỗi ngày đều được ăn đồ Ý ở ngoài sân vườn :)) Cuộc đời đẹp đơn giản thế thôi, chứ cũng không dám mơ có được một tình yêu nồng nhiệt và dữ dội như của Elio và Oliver đâu :D
Old review:
Mùa hè những năm 1980s. Một tòa biệt thự nhìn ra vùng biển Địa Trung Hải ở Ý. Elio, năm đó mới chỉ là chàng trai 17 tuổi, cùng cha mẹ đón vị khách đến ở trọ ở khu biệt thự mà mỗi năm họ đều cho giới văn sĩ thuê để viết sách. Ngay từ lần đầu tiên nhìn thấy Oliver - giảng viên đại học kiêm nhà văn người Mỹ đến Ý để giám sát việc dịch thuật cuốn sách của anh - bước ra khỏi chiếc xe taxi dừng trước cổng nhà, Elio đã trúng tiếng sét ái tình với người đàn ông hơn mình 7 tuổi. Oliver đẹp trai sáng ngời, một kiểu “movie star” như mẹ của Elio miêu tả, một làn gió đậm mùi nam tính có thể đánh gục bất cứ ai. Anh xuất hiện như một thỏi nam châm giữa vùng biển mùa hè của nước Ý, chinh phục những cô gái trẻ trong vùng, trở thành trung tâm của khu biệt thự và đồng thời đánh cắp trái tim của Elio.
Tình cảm mà Elio dành cho Oliver là một thứ tình cảm gây nghiện, và trong con mắt của cậu là thật đáng xấu hổ biết bao. Nhưng cậu không thể nào buộc tâm trí và trái tim mình thôi thổn thức vì chàng văn sĩ mang dáng dấp của một diễn viên điện ảnh. Bề ngoài, Elio cố gắng duy trì một thái độ dửng dưng, thờ ơ với vị khách của gia đình, nhưng bên trong, từng ngày từng giờ, chàng trai trẻ phải đối mặt nỗi dằn vặt đớn đau mang tên nỗi thèm khát. Đó là nỗi thèm khát được chạm vào Oliver, được cảm giác thân thể của người đàn ông 24 tuổi kế bên mình, ở trên mình, sâu trong cơ thể mình. Elio khát khao được sống trong cơ thể của Oliver, được là Oliver, và để Oliver trở thành cậu.
Cậu đàn những bản nhạc của Bhrams và Haydn cho Oliver nghe, cùng vị khách đàm đạo về văn học thế giới. Cậu phát hiện đũng quần mình ướt nhẹp vì kích thích bởi sự có mặt của Oliver trong phòng cậu; và cậu cũng ướt như thế khi lẻn vào phòng người mình yêu để mặc trộm những bộ đồ của Oliver, để được cảm nhận chút gì đó của Oliver thông qua những thứ đã chạm vào da thịt của vị khách. Cậu nằm mơ, những giấc mơ phản ánh cái khát khao cháy bỏng của cậu đối với Oliver, cái ước vọng thẳm sâu và mãnh liệt muốn được Oliver chú ý đến, được Oliver đáp lại tình yêu, được hòa quyện cùng Oliver trên giường, của cậu hay của Oliver đều được.
Elio tự nhận mình đã từng có vài mối tình thoáng qua, và đã từng ngủ với rất nhiều cô gái. Nhưng cậu đâu ngờ mối tình đầu thật sự của cậu, lần đầu tiên trong đời cậu cảm nhận được việc khao khát một người là như thế nào, lại có thể mãnh liệt và giày vò tâm can đến như vậy. Bất chấp tất cả những hành vi nhỏ nhặt, những biểu hiện có thể tiết lộ một điều gì khác hơn chỉ là một tình bạn đơn thuần giữa hai người đàn ông, Oliver vẫn đối xử với Elio với một thái độ dửng dưng y hệt, một thái độ đã đốt cháy tâm hồn chàng trai trẻ trong những nỗi nghi ngờ. Elio nghi ngờ Oliver đã ngủ với toàn bộ phụ nữ trong vùng, và thay vì ghen tuông, thay vì thu hết can đảm để thổ lộ lòng mình, Elio lại thấy mình cương cứng trước cái hình ảnh Oliver quan hệ tình dục với một cô gái khác diễu ra trước mắt cậu. Cậu chấp nhận yêu trong câm lặng và tuyệt vọng, chấp nhận duy trì cái trạng thái đau khổ cùng cực trong lòng, đâu biết rằng Oliver thực ra cũng đáp lại tình cảm của cậu.
Và theo sau cái đau khổ đó là những nụ hôn của hai người trên ngọn đồi nhìn ra quảng trường nhỏ, nơi mà theo lời Elio là địa điểm họa sĩ thiên tài người Pháp Claude Monet đã từng vẽ tranh. Những buổi chiều cùng nhau đạp xe. Chuyến đi tới hiệu sách. Elio bí mật làm tình với Marzia - một cô gái trong vùng, chỉ để cố gắng quên đi thứ tình cảm đầy xấu hổ cậu cảm nhận được với một người đàn ông. Và rồi tình cảm ấy đã được thổ lộ. Những cuộc hẹn bí mật vào buổi tối, được thông báo bằng những tờ ghi chú nhỏ nhét vào dưới cửa phòng. Và sự bùng nổ của cảm xúc, của tình yêu, của những đêm làm tình mê mệt, say sưa, choáng váng.
Tình dục và rất nhiều tình dục, thứ tình dục đắm say, gắn kết, đau đớn nhưng cũng đầy thỏa mãn; thứ tình dục giữa hai người đàn ông, hay đúng hơn là giữa một người đàn ông đã trưởng thành và một chàng trai mới lớn đang khám phá những gì thuộc về tình yêu và bản thể của mình. Thứ tình dục ở mức tột cùng nhưng không hề bệnh hoạn, thứ tình dục đã biến Elio trở thành Oliver và Oliver trở thành Elio. Và trong những đêm như thế, khi Elio cảm nhận được Oliver đang ở sâu trong cơ thể mình, cậu đã gọi người mình yêu bằng tên của chính mình, như cái cách Oliver đã gọi cậu bằng chính tên của anh.
“Call Me By Your Name” không chỉ là câu chuyện tình của hai người đàn ông; nó còn là câu chuyện của riêng Elio, của một chàng trai lần đầu tiên trong đời khám phá sức mạnh của mối tình đầu, một mối tình mặc dù chỉ kéo dài trong 6 tuần Oliver lưu lại Ý, nhưng lại ám ảnh khôn nguôi. Một mối tình như ánh sao băng, xoẹt ngang qua bầu trời, để rồi toàn bộ mọi thứ bùng nổ trong những đợt sắc màu không sao tả nổi. Elio vật lộn với tình cảm mới mẻ này, vật lộn với việc có còn nên xem nó là thứ tình cảm đáng xấu hổ và tội lỗi. Cậu tiếp tục những giờ làm tình bí mật với Marzia, coi nó như là một thứ để cân bằng lại với mối tình giữa hai người đàn ông mà cậu đang duy trì với Oliver. Để rồi sau cùng Elio nhận ra, chỉ có những gì cậu đã trải qua với Oliver là những gì sẽ đi vào ký ức của cậu - một trải nghiệm mãi mãi thay đổi con người cậu, thay đổi những gì cậu nhìn nhận về chính mình. Nói một cách khác hơn, “Call Me By Your Name” còn là hành trình của một chàng trai khám phá bản dạng giới tính của bản thân, cùng lúc có một mối tình đáng nhớ với một người mà vì cách trở về địa lý và sự ngăn trở của tư tưởng thời đại, sẽ không còn là của cậu.
Elio vay mượn thời gian của hiện tại để níu giữ những giờ phút còn lại với Oliver bằng chuyến đi đến thủ đô Rome. Và tại đây, cậu tiếp tục những ngày hạnh phúc hiếm hoi của cuộc đời bên cạnh Oliver và những người bạn, bên những quán bar, những cốc rượu mạnh, bằng đôi bàn tay của Oliver đỡ cậu khi cậu ói dọc vệ đường. Và nhất là, bằng nụ hôn đắm say Oliver trao tặng cho cậu trong con ngõ vắng, khi anh đẩy chàng trai trẻ vào bức tường và buộc cậu phải ghì một chân vào chân anh - nụ hôn đã mãi mãi biến nơi đó trở thành nơi kỷ niệm của hai người, của một mối tình đã rơi vào quá vãng.
Kết thúc chuyến đi tới Rome, Elio về lại nhà, trong khi Oliver quay về Mỹ. Ít lâu sau, Oliver liên lạc lại để thông báo về việc anh sắp kết hôn, bởi lẽ, đồng tính ở thời điểm đó vẫn là một đề tài cấm kỵ, và hai người đàn ông yêu nhau thì làm sao đây để có thể trọn vẹn đến với nhau mà không hối tiếc điều gì? Oliver chỉ còn biết cách tiếp tục sống cuộc đời của mình, trở thành cha của hai đứa con trai, và thảng hoặc, vào những ngày lễ, sẽ trở về lại khu biệt thự đó, bên bờ biển Địa Trung Hải, nơi tình yêu của anh đã thay đổi một con người. Và đúng như thể một ánh sao băng, hay một ánh chớp chói lòa, tất cả những gì họ đã có trước đây - sự thân mật cực điểm đến nỗi không gì có thể chia lìa - là những gì họ chỉ có thể trải nghiệm được một lần duy nhất. Nó đẹp và mong manh như chính số phận của hai người đàn ông giờ đây rẽ sang hai hướng khác biệt. Nó bừng lên và vụt tắt chỉ trong một lần, nhưng dư âm của nó thì ở lại mãi mãi, bên trong ký ức và tâm trí của hai con người, vào cái mùa hè đó, 20 năm về trước, khi Elio mới chỉ là chàng trai 17 tuổi, còn Oliver đã là một chàng trai giữa tuổi 20.
Câu từ của tác giả André Aciman đẹp như thứ ngôn ngữ chúng ta chỉ tìm thấy được ở trong thơ; nó đẹp và ám ảnh bởi khả năng phân tích và giãi bày tâm lý cũng như tình cảm nhân vật. Theo dấu lời kể của Elio, tôi say mê dõi theo câu chuyện tình của cậu và Oliver, đau đớn những khi cậu đau đớn, hạnh phúc những khi cậu hạnh phúc, trăn trở những khi cậu trăn trở, suy tư những khi cậu suy tư. Tác giả cũng đã tài tình dựng nên cái nền là khung cảnh mùa hè rực nắng và khó quên ở nước Ý - khung cảnh của gió, bãi cỏ, mùi biển, tiếng ve kêu, những giấc ngủ ban trưa, hồ bơi, những trái mơ và đào chín ửng. Mùa hè là mùa của tự do, của những chuyến phiêu lưu, của sự khám phá, và đặc biệt là của những mối tình bí mật. Chắc có lẽ đây là lý do mà tác giả đã lựa chọn mùa hè làm nền cho câu chuyện của mình. Điểm trừ duy nhất của “Call Me By Your Name” có lẽ là việc sử dụng nhiều khi quá mức chất thơ và chất triết lý trong những suy ngẫm của Elio, dẫn đến việc nhiều câu văn quá dài, đọc một hồi mới hiểu tác giả đang muốn nói gì (nhiều khi đọc hoài mà cũng chẳng hiểu luôn…).
P.S.: Mới biết là cuốn tiểu thuyết này đã được dựng thành phim, sẽ ra rạp vào ngày 24/11 năm nay ^^ Chưa gì mà trên trang Rotten Tomatoes critics đã chấm 100% rồi nè :D https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/call...
Trong sách có đoạn Elio have sex với trái đào, tại hình dáng trái đào nhìn giống cái mông người quá, làm ẻm liên tưởng tới phần dưới của Oliver :D Thêm cái vụ bên trong trái đào thì nhìn giống anus (anus nghĩa là gì thì mời dò từ điển ^^), làm ẻm nghĩ tới Oliver tiếp, nên là ẻm mới quyết định fuck the peach. Nói chung cảnh đó bạo liệt lắm, đọc mà nóng cả người :D Rồi cha nội Oliver đi vô, thấy Elio đang nằm thỏa mãn phủ phê trên giường, bên cạnh là hai miếng đào bị tách ra, bên trong còn chứa đầy tinh dịch của ẻm. Cha nội khoái quá, cầm lên ăn ngon lành, kiểu giống như là “cái gì của em anh cũng yêu hết. Những gì thuộc về em nếu có chết thì phải chết bên trong người anh” :D Nghe đồn lên phim ông đạo diễn quyết định làm cảnh đó luôn, mà đang không biết diễn viên diễn thế nào đây =))))) Phân đoạn quá nhạy cảm :)))) Rồi cái nữa là không biết khi phim được mua về VN chiếu thì sẽ có bị censored không, censored nhiêu phần nữa… (nếu censored hết thì mất mợ nó những chi tiết hay rồi). Mà quan trọng là VN có ai dám mua phim về chiếu không đây… Cái ải kiểm duyệt ở nước ta cũng ghê gớm lắm...
Update:
Sau bao tháng ngày đợi mong, cuối cùng thì tôi cũng đã xem được bộ phim “Call me by your name” bản full SD Vietsub. Trước khi xem phim, tôi đã vô cùng ấn tượng với câu chuyện tình yêu nồng nhiệt, đắm say nhưng cuối cùng không thể có một kết thúc có hậu của hai nhân vật chính. Đó là một mối tình ngắn ngủi kéo dài vỏn vẹn chỉ 6 tuần, nhưng có sức ảnh hưởng và để lại dư vị mãi mãi về sau cho cả Elio và Oliver. Mối tình ấy diễn ra trên cái nền mùa hè nước Ý vùng Địa Trung Hải, tràn ngập ánh nắng vàng ấm áp và khung cảnh cổ kính, nên thơ. Khung cảnh ấy, cái ánh vàng của những ngày hè ấm áp đó đã được tái hiện một cách xuất sắc lên màn ảnh, với cái hồ nước nơi Elio và Oliver cùng tắm với nhau, khoảng cỏ rộng nơi mọi người tụ tập chơi bóng chuyền, khu vườn đầy những quả đào, mơ và lựu - những thứ trái cây đậm chất mùa hè, những ly nước mơ ngon lành mát lạnh, những bữa ăn ngoài trời dưới bóng cây, khu thành phố với những tòa nhà, những công trình kiến trúc chứa đựng bề dày lịch sử của nước Ý.
Và trên cái nền đó, một mối tình đẹp và khắc khoải đã diễn ra. Timothée Chalamet đóng vai Elio đã lột tả được hoàn toàn cái thần thái của nhân vật: một cậu thiếu niên nhạy cảm, yêu âm nhạc và hết m��c si tình, đứng trước một tình cảm mới mẻ và đầy ám ảnh dành cho một người đàn ông lớn hơn mình đến tận 7 tuổi. Elio lao vào tình yêu với Oliver như con thiêu thân lao vào lửa, bất chấp kết cục sau này có là gì; cậu yêu như chưa từng được yêu, như thể chính mối tình đầu, chính tình yêu của tuổi trẻ phải thế: dào dạt, điên cuồng và thẳm sâu. Những khoảnh khắc chờ đợi trong bồn chồn cho đến nửa đêm cho cuộc hẹn đầu tiên giữa hai người; những cảnh làm tình với cô bạn Marzia nhưng mắt vẫn hướng về cái đồng hồ đeo tay, tất cả đã làm nên một Elio của tuổi 17 lần đầu tiên thực sự biết yêu, lần đầu tiên thực sự biết ngóng chờ ai đó, tương tư ai đó. Và ai đó của Elio là Oliver, đã được diễn viên Armie Harmmer hóa thân một cách trọn vẹn, với vẻ ngoài cao ráo, đẹp trai và phong thái như một “movie star”, thổi luồng gió mới vào một mùa hè những tưởng như rất đỗi bình thường ở nước Ý.
Trường đoạn khi hai người làm tình với nhau lần đầu tiên, sau đó Oliver thì thầm với Elio rằng: “Call me by your name, and I’ll call you by mine.” (“Hãy gọi anh bằng tên em, và anh sẽ gọi em bằng tên anh.”) đã khiến tôi bật khóc. Tôi khóc vì khoảnh khắc ấy quá đẹp, quá tinh khôi, dẫu nó diễn ra trong bóng tối, bên trong những cánh cửa khép kín của hai căn phòng kế bên nhau. Và tôi khóc bởi vì tôi đã biết trước, rằng dẫu tình yêu ấy có đẹp đến thế nào, tinh khôi đến thế nào, thì cuối cùng, hai người vẫn phải chia tay nhau, vẫn phải bước đi trên những ngã rẽ khác của cuộc đời. Tôi khóc khi thấy Elio khóc, khi cậu dụi đầu vào lòng Oliver mà hỏi anh rằng liệu cậu có bệnh hoạn quá không, khi toàn làm những chuyện kỳ dị cốt chỉ để có anh gần bên, gần hơn nữa; để thỏa mãn cái cơn thèm khát Oliver, thỏa mãn nỗi ám ảnh khát khao của một chàng trai đang lớn dần lên cùng với những cảm xúc mới mẻ mà dữ dội của mình.
Cả Timothée Chalamet và Armie Hammer đều là trai thẳng (Armie Hammer thì đã có vợ con đề huề rồi cơ ^^), vậy mà khi xem phim, đố ai biết được họ không phải là gay, vì chemistry của họ trên màn ảnh quá tuyệt; những cảnh hai nhân vật ôm ấp nhau cứ tự nhiên và tình cảm vô cùng. Phim đã cố gắng đưa được gần như toàn bộ những chi tiết chính của cuốn tiểu thuyết lên phim, nhưng nhìn chung cả hai khác nhau về cách miêu tả câu chuyện, dù chúng đều kể về một câu chuyện giống nhau. Nếu cuốn sách mang trong lòng nó sự dữ dội và ngây ngất của tình dục, của mối kết nối “tuy hai mà một” giữa Elio và Oliver, thì cá nhân tôi thấy phim làm nhẹ nhàng hơn nhiều, nhưng vẫn rất có chiều sâu. Có lẽ vì phim đi theo hướng nghệ thuật, nên cảnh tình dục cũng có, nhưng không đến nỗi quá phô bày hay gây kích động mạnh, trừ cảnh sex của Elio và Marzia (chứ nếu làm y xì như trong sách chắc đã bị gọi là phim kích dục rồi :D). Đến cả cảnh Elio “fuck the peach” (là cảnh nổi bật và gây ấn tượng mạnh nhất của cuốn tiểu thuyết) cũng được làm khá nhẹ nhàng và có phần đáng yêu :D.
Thay vì chuyển tải sự dữ dội của bản truyện gốc, phim đã sử dụng cảnh vật và bầu không khí nước Ý đầy hoài cổ những năm 1980s để kể lại câu chuyện tình khắc khoải của Elio và Oliver. Tông màu vàng ấm của mùa hè cùng nhịp điệu kể chuyện chậm rãi, lời thoại ít, chừa những khoảng không im ắng cho diễn viên diễn xuất đã định hình cách kể chuyện của bộ phim. Ở đây, tôi không bàn luận giữa sách và phim, cái nào hay hơn, bởi mỗi cái đều có những nét riêng đầy cuốn hút của mình. Nhưng cho dù nét riêng ấy có là gì, thì ở tận sâu trong trung tâm của “Call me by your name”, cả bản sách và bản phim, luôn là một câu chuyện đáng để đọc, để xem, để trải nghiệm và cảm nhận, dẫu bằng ngôn ngữ điện ảnh hay ngôn ngữ văn chương. Câu chuyện này đặc biệt và đáng đọc đến nỗi, sau khi xem phim xong, tôi đã buộc mình phải suy nghĩ lại và cho cuốn sách 5 sao thay vì 4 sao như lúc đầu. Cách truyền tải của tác giả có khó hiểu một chút thì đã sao chứ? Về cơ bản, câu chuyện của "Call me by your name" đã quá tuyệt vời và xứng đáng được nằm trong hàng ngũ những cuốn sách 5 sao trên kệ sách của tôi :))
Xem phim giúp tôi hiểu nhiều hơn về nhân vật cha của Elio, một người cha vô cùng tâm lý mà tôi ước ao tất cả những ai thuộc cộng đồng LGBT đều có trong cuộc đời. Đoạn gần kết phim, sau khi Elio đã chia tay Oliver ở ga tàu hỏa và được mẹ chở về nhà, cha của Elio đã chia sẻ với cậu những suy nghĩ và cảm nhận của ông về những gì Elio đã có cùng với Oliver: một điều đặc biệt hiếm hoi và tuyệt đẹp. Và còn những lời khuyên nhủ đúc kết từ chính kinh nghiệm cùng những tiếc nuối của ông về những gì ông đã bỏ lỡ trong đời nữa:
“Then let me say one more thing. It'll clear the air. I may have come close, but I never had what you two have. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business, just remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now, there's sorrow, pain. Don't kill it and with it the joy you've felt.”
Đoạn kết tràn đầy sự dang dở của một mối tình không viên mãn sẽ gây đớn đau và thổn thức cho nhiều người. Nhưng đối với tôi, cái kết đó là hợp lý. Vì ở thời điểm đó, cái thời mà quyền LGBT vẫn còn là một khái niệm quá xa vời, một mối tình đồng tính có thể đi đến đâu? Nếu Elio và Oliver đến được với nhau, nếu họ muốn xây dựng một gia đình của riêng mình, ai sẽ cho phép họ nhận con nuôi? Liệu tình yêu của họ có đủ mạnh mẽ, đủ sâu sắc để vượt qua những dị nghị và dòm ngó của người đời? Gia đình Elio thì tâm lý quá rồi, nhưng còn gia đình của Oliver? Anh đã nói với Elio qua điện thoại là cha anh sẽ đưa anh vào trại cải huấn nếu anh dám công khai tình yêu của mình với Elio và chọn cách ở bên cậu. Và còn cả những kỳ vọng của gia đình và xã hội vào một người đàn ông có học vấn như Oliver nữa. Đơn giản là ở thời điểm đó, một cặp tình nhân đồng tính với tuổi đời trẻ như Elio và Oliver không có nhiều sự lựa chọn để có thể tiếp tục cuộc sống của mình mà không phải hối tiếc vì những quyết định mình đưa ra...
Nghe đâu phim sẽ có phần 2 (ra mắt vào năm 2020), nên thành ra khúc cuối chỉ tiết lộ Oliver chuẩn bị làm đám cưới thôi, chứ không có khúc 20 năm sau khi Oliver trở lại ngôi nhà của gia đình Elio ở Ý, dắt theo vợ cùng hai đứa con trai :)) Sách thì chỉ có một cuốn, nên nếu phim làm phần 2 thì chắc chắn là sẽ tự viết kịch bản rồi ^^ Trước mắt hy vọng mùa “hốt vàng” Oscars sắp tới, phim “Call me by your name” sẽ được đề cử ở hạng mục “Best Picture”, “Best Adapted Screenplay”, “Best Cinematography”, “Best Score”, “Best Song” (mợ ơi cái bài “Mystery of Love” quá hay và quá hợp với không khí của phim ahhhh!!!!), đạo diễn Luca Guadagnino sẽ được đề cử “Best Director”, Timothée Chalamet thì được đề cử “Best Actor in a Leading Role” và Armie Hammer thì được đề cử “Best Actor in a Supporting Role”. Chỉ cần được đề cử thôi là mừng thôi ha ha :D
P. S.: Trong phim thấy nhân vật Elio nói chuyện với Marzia bằng tiếng Pháp, dù khi đọc sách mình không nhớ cô bé này có phải người Pháp không (nhớ là nguyên dàn nhân vật trừ anh Oliver ra là người Ý hết cả…) nên đang thắc mắc (vì câu chuyện diễn ra ở Ý mà lại nói tiếng Pháp :D). Không lẽ tại Timothée Chalamet biết tiếng Pháp chứ không phải tiếng Ý nên cho ẻm nói tiếng Pháp luôn ha ha :))))
Coi phim xong chỉ muốn như cha mẹ của Elio, có một ngôi nhà ở miền Địa Trung Hải của Ý và một khu vườn rộng đầy hoa cùng cây ăn quả, ngày ngày được ngắm cảnh đẹp, ra vườn ngồi đọc sách, chán chê rồi thì đi bơi hồ, tắm sông, tới hè thì được ăn quả ngon, riêng mỗi ngày đều được ăn đồ Ý ở ngoài sân vườn :)) Cuộc đời đẹp đơn giản thế thôi, chứ cũng không dám mơ có được một tình yêu nồng nhiệt và dữ dội như của Elio và Oliver đâu :D
Old review:
Mùa hè những năm 1980s. Một tòa biệt thự nhìn ra vùng biển Địa Trung Hải ở Ý. Elio, năm đó mới chỉ là chàng trai 17 tuổi, cùng cha mẹ đón vị khách đến ở trọ ở khu biệt thự mà mỗi năm họ đều cho giới văn sĩ thuê để viết sách. Ngay từ lần đầu tiên nhìn thấy Oliver - giảng viên đại học kiêm nhà văn người Mỹ đến Ý để giám sát việc dịch thuật cuốn sách của anh - bước ra khỏi chiếc xe taxi dừng trước cổng nhà, Elio đã trúng tiếng sét ái tình với người đàn ông hơn mình 7 tuổi. Oliver đẹp trai sáng ngời, một kiểu “movie star” như mẹ của Elio miêu tả, một làn gió đậm mùi nam tính có thể đánh gục bất cứ ai. Anh xuất hiện như một thỏi nam châm giữa vùng biển mùa hè của nước Ý, chinh phục những cô gái trẻ trong vùng, trở thành trung tâm của khu biệt thự và đồng thời đánh cắp trái tim của Elio.
Tình cảm mà Elio dành cho Oliver là một thứ tình cảm gây nghiện, và trong con mắt của cậu là thật đáng xấu hổ biết bao. Nhưng cậu không thể nào buộc tâm trí và trái tim mình thôi thổn thức vì chàng văn sĩ mang dáng dấp của một diễn viên điện ảnh. Bề ngoài, Elio cố gắng duy trì một thái độ dửng dưng, thờ ơ với vị khách của gia đình, nhưng bên trong, từng ngày từng giờ, chàng trai trẻ phải đối mặt nỗi dằn vặt đớn đau mang tên nỗi thèm khát. Đó là nỗi thèm khát được chạm vào Oliver, được cảm giác thân thể của người đàn ông 24 tuổi kế bên mình, ở trên mình, sâu trong cơ thể mình. Elio khát khao được sống trong cơ thể của Oliver, được là Oliver, và để Oliver trở thành cậu.
Cậu đàn những bản nhạc của Bhrams và Haydn cho Oliver nghe, cùng vị khách đàm đạo về văn học thế giới. Cậu phát hiện đũng quần mình ướt nhẹp vì kích thích bởi sự có mặt của Oliver trong phòng cậu; và cậu cũng ướt như thế khi lẻn vào phòng người mình yêu để mặc trộm những bộ đồ của Oliver, để được cảm nhận chút gì đó của Oliver thông qua những thứ đã chạm vào da thịt của vị khách. Cậu nằm mơ, những giấc mơ phản ánh cái khát khao cháy bỏng của cậu đối với Oliver, cái ước vọng thẳm sâu và mãnh liệt muốn được Oliver chú ý đến, được Oliver đáp lại tình yêu, được hòa quyện cùng Oliver trên giường, của cậu hay của Oliver đều được.
Elio tự nhận mình đã từng có vài mối tình thoáng qua, và đã từng ngủ với rất nhiều cô gái. Nhưng cậu đâu ngờ mối tình đầu thật sự của cậu, lần đầu tiên trong đời cậu cảm nhận được việc khao khát một người là như thế nào, lại có thể mãnh liệt và giày vò tâm can đến như vậy. Bất chấp tất cả những hành vi nhỏ nhặt, những biểu hiện có thể tiết lộ một điều gì khác hơn chỉ là một tình bạn đơn thuần giữa hai người đàn ông, Oliver vẫn đối xử với Elio với một thái độ dửng dưng y hệt, một thái độ đã đốt cháy tâm hồn chàng trai trẻ trong những nỗi nghi ngờ. Elio nghi ngờ Oliver đã ngủ với toàn bộ phụ nữ trong vùng, và thay vì ghen tuông, thay vì thu hết can đảm để thổ lộ lòng mình, Elio lại thấy mình cương cứng trước cái hình ảnh Oliver quan hệ tình dục với một cô gái khác diễu ra trước mắt cậu. Cậu chấp nhận yêu trong câm lặng và tuyệt vọng, chấp nhận duy trì cái trạng thái đau khổ cùng cực trong lòng, đâu biết rằng Oliver thực ra cũng đáp lại tình cảm của cậu.
Và theo sau cái đau khổ đó là những nụ hôn của hai người trên ngọn đồi nhìn ra quảng trường nhỏ, nơi mà theo lời Elio là địa điểm họa sĩ thiên tài người Pháp Claude Monet đã từng vẽ tranh. Những buổi chiều cùng nhau đạp xe. Chuyến đi tới hiệu sách. Elio bí mật làm tình với Marzia - một cô gái trong vùng, chỉ để cố gắng quên đi thứ tình cảm đầy xấu hổ cậu cảm nhận được với một người đàn ông. Và rồi tình cảm ấy đã được thổ lộ. Những cuộc hẹn bí mật vào buổi tối, được thông báo bằng những tờ ghi chú nhỏ nhét vào dưới cửa phòng. Và sự bùng nổ của cảm xúc, của tình yêu, của những đêm làm tình mê mệt, say sưa, choáng váng.
Tình dục và rất nhiều tình dục, thứ tình dục đắm say, gắn kết, đau đớn nhưng cũng đầy thỏa mãn; thứ tình dục giữa hai người đàn ông, hay đúng hơn là giữa một người đàn ông đã trưởng thành và một chàng trai mới lớn đang khám phá những gì thuộc về tình yêu và bản thể của mình. Thứ tình dục ở mức tột cùng nhưng không hề bệnh hoạn, thứ tình dục đã biến Elio trở thành Oliver và Oliver trở thành Elio. Và trong những đêm như thế, khi Elio cảm nhận được Oliver đang ở sâu trong cơ thể mình, cậu đã gọi người mình yêu bằng tên của chính mình, như cái cách Oliver đã gọi cậu bằng chính tên của anh.
“Call Me By Your Name” không chỉ là câu chuyện tình của hai người đàn ông; nó còn là câu chuyện của riêng Elio, của một chàng trai lần đầu tiên trong đời khám phá sức mạnh của mối tình đầu, một mối tình mặc dù chỉ kéo dài trong 6 tuần Oliver lưu lại Ý, nhưng lại ám ảnh khôn nguôi. Một mối tình như ánh sao băng, xoẹt ngang qua bầu trời, để rồi toàn bộ mọi thứ bùng nổ trong những đợt sắc màu không sao tả nổi. Elio vật lộn với tình cảm mới mẻ này, vật lộn với việc có còn nên xem nó là thứ tình cảm đáng xấu hổ và tội lỗi. Cậu tiếp tục những giờ làm tình bí mật với Marzia, coi nó như là một thứ để cân bằng lại với mối tình giữa hai người đàn ông mà cậu đang duy trì với Oliver. Để rồi sau cùng Elio nhận ra, chỉ có những gì cậu đã trải qua với Oliver là những gì sẽ đi vào ký ức của cậu - một trải nghiệm mãi mãi thay đổi con người cậu, thay đổi những gì cậu nhìn nhận về chính mình. Nói một cách khác hơn, “Call Me By Your Name” còn là hành trình của một chàng trai khám phá bản dạng giới tính của bản thân, cùng lúc có một mối tình đáng nhớ với một người mà vì cách trở về địa lý và sự ngăn trở của tư tưởng thời đại, sẽ không còn là của cậu.
Elio vay mượn thời gian của hiện tại để níu giữ những giờ phút còn lại với Oliver bằng chuyến đi đến thủ đô Rome. Và tại đây, cậu tiếp tục những ngày hạnh phúc hiếm hoi của cuộc đời bên cạnh Oliver và những người bạn, bên những quán bar, những cốc rượu mạnh, bằng đôi bàn tay của Oliver đỡ cậu khi cậu ói dọc vệ đường. Và nhất là, bằng nụ hôn đắm say Oliver trao tặng cho cậu trong con ngõ vắng, khi anh đẩy chàng trai trẻ vào bức tường và buộc cậu phải ghì một chân vào chân anh - nụ hôn đã mãi mãi biến nơi đó trở thành nơi kỷ niệm của hai người, của một mối tình đã rơi vào quá vãng.
Kết thúc chuyến đi tới Rome, Elio về lại nhà, trong khi Oliver quay về Mỹ. Ít lâu sau, Oliver liên lạc lại để thông báo về việc anh sắp kết hôn, bởi lẽ, đồng tính ở thời điểm đó vẫn là một đề tài cấm kỵ, và hai người đàn ông yêu nhau thì làm sao đây để có thể trọn vẹn đến với nhau mà không hối tiếc điều gì? Oliver chỉ còn biết cách tiếp tục sống cuộc đời của mình, trở thành cha của hai đứa con trai, và thảng hoặc, vào những ngày lễ, sẽ trở về lại khu biệt thự đó, bên bờ biển Địa Trung Hải, nơi tình yêu của anh đã thay đổi một con người. Và đúng như thể một ánh sao băng, hay một ánh chớp chói lòa, tất cả những gì họ đã có trước đây - sự thân mật cực điểm đến nỗi không gì có thể chia lìa - là những gì họ chỉ có thể trải nghiệm được một lần duy nhất. Nó đẹp và mong manh như chính số phận của hai người đàn ông giờ đây rẽ sang hai hướng khác biệt. Nó bừng lên và vụt tắt chỉ trong một lần, nhưng dư âm của nó thì ở lại mãi mãi, bên trong ký ức và tâm trí của hai con người, vào cái mùa hè đó, 20 năm về trước, khi Elio mới chỉ là chàng trai 17 tuổi, còn Oliver đã là một chàng trai giữa tuổi 20.
Câu từ của tác giả André Aciman đẹp như thứ ngôn ngữ chúng ta chỉ tìm thấy được ở trong thơ; nó đẹp và ám ảnh bởi khả năng phân tích và giãi bày tâm lý cũng như tình cảm nhân vật. Theo dấu lời kể của Elio, tôi say mê dõi theo câu chuyện tình của cậu và Oliver, đau đớn những khi cậu đau đớn, hạnh phúc những khi cậu hạnh phúc, trăn trở những khi cậu trăn trở, suy tư những khi cậu suy tư. Tác giả cũng đã tài tình dựng nên cái nền là khung cảnh mùa hè rực nắng và khó quên ở nước Ý - khung cảnh của gió, bãi cỏ, mùi biển, tiếng ve kêu, những giấc ngủ ban trưa, hồ bơi, những trái mơ và đào chín ửng. Mùa hè là mùa của tự do, của những chuyến phiêu lưu, của sự khám phá, và đặc biệt là của những mối tình bí mật. Chắc có lẽ đây là lý do mà tác giả đã lựa chọn mùa hè làm nền cho câu chuyện của mình. Điểm trừ duy nhất của “Call Me By Your Name” có lẽ là việc sử dụng nhiều khi quá mức chất thơ và chất triết lý trong những suy ngẫm của Elio, dẫn đến việc nhiều câu văn quá dài, đọc một hồi mới hiểu tác giả đang muốn nói gì (nhiều khi đọc hoài mà cũng chẳng hiểu luôn…).
P.S.: Mới biết là cuốn tiểu thuyết này đã được dựng thành phim, sẽ ra rạp vào ngày 24/11 năm nay ^^ Chưa gì mà trên trang Rotten Tomatoes critics đã chấm 100% rồi nè :D https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/call...
Trong sách có đoạn Elio have sex với trái đào, tại hình dáng trái đào nhìn giống cái mông người quá, làm ẻm liên tưởng tới phần dưới của Oliver :D Thêm cái vụ bên trong trái đào thì nhìn giống anus (anus nghĩa là gì thì mời dò từ điển ^^), làm ẻm nghĩ tới Oliver tiếp, nên là ẻm mới quyết định fuck the peach. Nói chung cảnh đó bạo liệt lắm, đọc mà nóng cả người :D Rồi cha nội Oliver đi vô, thấy Elio đang nằm thỏa mãn phủ phê trên giường, bên cạnh là hai miếng đào bị tách ra, bên trong còn chứa đầy tinh dịch của ẻm. Cha nội khoái quá, cầm lên ăn ngon lành, kiểu giống như là “cái gì của em anh cũng yêu hết. Những gì thuộc về em nếu có chết thì phải chết bên trong người anh” :D Nghe đồn lên phim ông đạo diễn quyết định làm cảnh đó luôn, mà đang không biết diễn viên diễn thế nào đây =))))) Phân đoạn quá nhạy cảm :)))) Rồi cái nữa là không biết khi phim được mua về VN chiếu thì sẽ có bị censored không, censored nhiêu phần nữa… (nếu censored hết thì mất mợ nó những chi tiết hay rồi). Mà quan trọng là VN có ai dám mua phim về chiếu không đây… Cái ải kiểm duyệt ở nước ta cũng ghê gớm lắm...
April 30, 2016
I found this novel painfully slow going at times. There was too much introspection, too little dialogue. The young grad student and the 17-year-old narrator annoyed me with their wishy-washy feelings and emotions. I craved more intensity and passion. Despite its flaws, I was gradually swept away by the lovely writing, the setting, and growing intimacy between the two main characters. Knowing early on these two young men were not destined to remain together did not prevent me from being deeply moved by the story’s poignant conclusion.
July 4, 2018
“
We are not written for one instrument alone.
”
Do you remember longing for something, someone (“Intoxicated rapture” and “The twisted skein of desire”), while worrying about the implications? Fear of rejection - and of acceptance? I do.
This is an achingly slow, beautiful, microscopic analysis of the glittering facets of identity. They’re painfully and joyously revealed during the fluctuating and confusing experiences of late adolescence.
Hunger and fear. “I loved the fear.” Desire and shame. Shame that becomes a route to total intimacy.
The emotions are universal, if not the specific permutations and situations. If that were not possible, genres like fantasy and murder mysteries could not succeed.
Know Yourself
Perhaps the most important task of adolescence is to understand oneself. Only then can one truly begin to understand others.
Oliver, at 24, seems very sure of himself - and everyone else. The impetus of the story is 17-year old Elio’s struggle to achieve the same, occasionally aided by the tactful, understated empathy of his father.
“If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out.”
(His mother is almost irrelevant.)
Hiders
“People who read are hiders. They hide who they are. People who hide don’t always like who they are.”
I hide in books. I expect many GoodReaders do. But it’s not because I dislike myself (though there’s room for self-improvement). It’s an escape from ordinary me, in ordinary life. Books are safe spaces where I can confront the truth. By hiding in books, I can learn about the world, and about myself.
Photo: fortune cookie “To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone.”
Unity
“Having someone’s body to touch and being that someone we’re longing to touch are one and the same, just opposite banks on a river that passes from us to them… This perpetual circuit where the chambers of the heart, like the trapdoors of desire, and the wormholes of time, and the false-bottomed drawer we call identity share a beguiling logic according to which the shortest distance between real life and the life unlived, between who we are and what we want, is a twisted staircase designed with the impish cruelty of MC Escher.”
The deepest intimacy of all is when two become one, where each can call the other by caller’s name.
“Is it your body that I want… or do I want to slip into it and own it as if it were my own?”
Where that one becomes many: brother, friend, father, son, husband, lover, self. Thence comes self-knowledge.
“He was my secret conduit to myself.”
Exquisite, intimate, poignant. Peaches and feet feature notably, separately, sexually.
Duality
We seek unity, and we have one life and one body, but most of us live as if we have two: “one is the mockup and the other is the finished version”.
The job of poetry and wine is “to help us see double”. Is that a good thing?
Fluidity
"Bakers and butchers don't compete."
Because Elio and Oliver sail on open waters of identity and sexuality, there’s no need for labels, no need to be bisexual or male to relate to them. Their unstated (at the time) bond of shared secular Judaism was more elusive to me.
Sexuality is a spectrum; some move along it, while others stick at one point on it. Personality, behaviour, or circumstances?
This article explains, “same-sex relations were viewed in pre-modern times as merely a predilection or practice, whereas during the 19th century they came to be considered an innate nature, an identity” and "rather than a hetero/homosexual dichotomy, the two sexualities are defined by penetrating and being penetrated."
Gender can be fluid, too. A peripheral character had formative experiences in Thailand, and was picked up by a ladyboy.
Gay Romance
Don’t let the book blurb or film trailer let you think this is a gay romance (not that there’s anything wrong with them, but this is not one).
My first impressions were about the importance of first impressions in setting our path, our fate. I experienced the “promises of instant affinities” from the first page, and that held firm beyond the last page.
It’s a bildungsroman told by a middle-aged man looking back to a summer in the mid 1980s, when he was 17: a boy who liked girls and was struck by a passion for a slightly older man who also liked girls. Oliver was staying with Elio's family in Italy for six weeks: that year's promising grad student. The setting is a lush and elemental component of the story. It could not have happened the same way in the US or UK.
Elio dips in and out of his memories, showing how his typical teen uncertainty, coupled with his atypical academic and self-analytical approach, affect them both, throughout their lives. Just as he imagined:
"Two young men who found much happiness for a few weeks and lived the remainder of their lives dipping cotton swabs into that bowl of happiness, fearing they’d use it up, without daring to drink more than a thimbleful on ritual anniversaries."
It’s not clear who he’s telling the story to or why. He refers to the diary he kept at the time, but he observes “I’d written it down in my diary but omitted to say I had dreamt it. I wanted to come back years later and believe, if only for a moment.” He remembers “‘repeat’ moments”, but not necessarily the sequence.
By the end, I wondered how relevant it was that Elio and Oliver were both male, rather as I did with Brokeback Mountain (see my review HERE) and the dwarfism of the lead character in the film The Station Agent. Here, the taboo, inasmuch as there is one, is Elio’s youth, the age gap, and Oliver’s position as guest.
Consent
“Does this make you happy?” and “You sure you want this?” and “Can I kiss you?”
Consent is of recurring importance here. Ten years after it was published, it is topical in the aftermath of Harvey Weinstein and #MeToo. But as in real life, sometimes the messages are mixed:
“Please, don’t hurt me, which meant, Hurt me all you want.”
Later
“I’d lodged him in the permanent past, my pluperfect lover.”
We learn something of Oliver’s life decades hence, but almost nothing of Elio’s. That balances the fact that for most of the book we know every nuance of Elio’s thoughts, but can only infer Oliver’s.
Quotes
• “The promise of so much bliss hovering a fingertip away.”
• “The soft wind training exhalations from our garden up the stairs to my bedroom.”
• “Awakened by the rich brown cloistral scent of coffee.”
• “There are certain wishes that must be clipped like wings off a thriving butterfly.”
• “What startles virgins on being touched for the first time by the person they desire: he stirs nerves in them they never knew existed and that produce far, far more disturbing pleasures than they are used to on their own.”
• “Wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”
• “The kind of lovemaking that can run circles round time.”
• “Scrambling for something to say, the way a fish struggles for water in a muddied pond that’s fast drying up in the heat.”
• “Unreal and sticky goblin lanes that seemed to lead to a different, nether realm you entered in a state of stupor and wonderment.”
• “I intentionally failed to drop breadcrumbs for my return journey; instead, I ate them.”
• “By not planning to keep things alive, we were avoiding the prospect that they might ever die.”
• “We were eloping together with return-trip tickets to different destinations.”
• “That summer, our lives had scarcely touched, but we had crossed to the other bank… We had found the stars… And this is given only once.”
UPDATE re Film
I've just seen the film, and unlike many GR fans of the book, I was very disappointed.
• It looks gorgeous: Italian sun and scenery, and some subtly clever cinematography, particularly with the relative positioning of characters in the scene.
• It sounds good, too, which matters, given the importance of music in the story, especially Elio.
• Whereas the recent adaptation of On Chesil Beach added a significant postscript to the story that changed the meaning of the main story (see my review here), this omitted the rather pointless postscript of the book.
But:
• I didn't feel the warmth, let alone the passion. I didn't believe the characters, let alone their relationship.
• It felt somehow prurient in a way the book did not, but that may just be me.
• The father was creepy, rather than empathetic.
• A seminal trip was to beautiful countryside, rather than Rome. Why?
Film details on imdb here.
Do you remember longing for something, someone (“Intoxicated rapture” and “The twisted skein of desire”), while worrying about the implications? Fear of rejection - and of acceptance? I do.
This is an achingly slow, beautiful, microscopic analysis of the glittering facets of identity. They’re painfully and joyously revealed during the fluctuating and confusing experiences of late adolescence.
Hunger and fear. “I loved the fear.” Desire and shame. Shame that becomes a route to total intimacy.
The emotions are universal, if not the specific permutations and situations. If that were not possible, genres like fantasy and murder mysteries could not succeed.
Know Yourself
Perhaps the most important task of adolescence is to understand oneself. Only then can one truly begin to understand others.
Oliver, at 24, seems very sure of himself - and everyone else. The impetus of the story is 17-year old Elio’s struggle to achieve the same, occasionally aided by the tactful, understated empathy of his father.
“If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out.”
(His mother is almost irrelevant.)
Hiders
“People who read are hiders. They hide who they are. People who hide don’t always like who they are.”
I hide in books. I expect many GoodReaders do. But it’s not because I dislike myself (though there’s room for self-improvement). It’s an escape from ordinary me, in ordinary life. Books are safe spaces where I can confront the truth. By hiding in books, I can learn about the world, and about myself.
Photo: fortune cookie “To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone.”
Unity
“Having someone’s body to touch and being that someone we’re longing to touch are one and the same, just opposite banks on a river that passes from us to them… This perpetual circuit where the chambers of the heart, like the trapdoors of desire, and the wormholes of time, and the false-bottomed drawer we call identity share a beguiling logic according to which the shortest distance between real life and the life unlived, between who we are and what we want, is a twisted staircase designed with the impish cruelty of MC Escher.”
The deepest intimacy of all is when two become one, where each can call the other by caller’s name.
“Is it your body that I want… or do I want to slip into it and own it as if it were my own?”
Where that one becomes many: brother, friend, father, son, husband, lover, self. Thence comes self-knowledge.
“He was my secret conduit to myself.”
Exquisite, intimate, poignant. Peaches and feet feature notably, separately, sexually.
Duality
We seek unity, and we have one life and one body, but most of us live as if we have two: “one is the mockup and the other is the finished version”.
The job of poetry and wine is “to help us see double”. Is that a good thing?
Fluidity
"Bakers and butchers don't compete."
Because Elio and Oliver sail on open waters of identity and sexuality, there’s no need for labels, no need to be bisexual or male to relate to them. Their unstated (at the time) bond of shared secular Judaism was more elusive to me.
Sexuality is a spectrum; some move along it, while others stick at one point on it. Personality, behaviour, or circumstances?
This article explains, “same-sex relations were viewed in pre-modern times as merely a predilection or practice, whereas during the 19th century they came to be considered an innate nature, an identity” and "rather than a hetero/homosexual dichotomy, the two sexualities are defined by penetrating and being penetrated."
Gender can be fluid, too. A peripheral character had formative experiences in Thailand, and was picked up by a ladyboy.
Don’t let the book blurb or film trailer let you think this is a gay romance (not that there’s anything wrong with them, but this is not one).
My first impressions were about the importance of first impressions in setting our path, our fate. I experienced the “promises of instant affinities” from the first page, and that held firm beyond the last page.
It’s a bildungsroman told by a middle-aged man looking back to a summer in the mid 1980s, when he was 17: a boy who liked girls and was struck by a passion for a slightly older man who also liked girls. Oliver was staying with Elio's family in Italy for six weeks: that year's promising grad student. The setting is a lush and elemental component of the story. It could not have happened the same way in the US or UK.
Elio dips in and out of his memories, showing how his typical teen uncertainty, coupled with his atypical academic and self-analytical approach, affect them both, throughout their lives. Just as he imagined:
"Two young men who found much happiness for a few weeks and lived the remainder of their lives dipping cotton swabs into that bowl of happiness, fearing they’d use it up, without daring to drink more than a thimbleful on ritual anniversaries."
It’s not clear who he’s telling the story to or why. He refers to the diary he kept at the time, but he observes “I’d written it down in my diary but omitted to say I had dreamt it. I wanted to come back years later and believe, if only for a moment.” He remembers “‘repeat’ moments”, but not necessarily the sequence.
By the end, I wondered how relevant it was that Elio and Oliver were both male, rather as I did with Brokeback Mountain (see my review HERE) and the dwarfism of the lead character in the film The Station Agent. Here, the taboo, inasmuch as there is one, is Elio’s youth, the age gap, and Oliver’s position as guest.
Consent
“Does this make you happy?” and “You sure you want this?” and “Can I kiss you?”
Consent is of recurring importance here. Ten years after it was published, it is topical in the aftermath of Harvey Weinstein and #MeToo. But as in real life, sometimes the messages are mixed:
“Please, don’t hurt me, which meant, Hurt me all you want.”
Later
“I’d lodged him in the permanent past, my pluperfect lover.”
We learn something of Oliver’s life decades hence, but almost nothing of Elio’s. That balances the fact that for most of the book we know every nuance of Elio’s thoughts, but can only infer Oliver’s.
Quotes
• “The promise of so much bliss hovering a fingertip away.”
• “The soft wind training exhalations from our garden up the stairs to my bedroom.”
• “Awakened by the rich brown cloistral scent of coffee.”
• “There are certain wishes that must be clipped like wings off a thriving butterfly.”
• “What startles virgins on being touched for the first time by the person they desire: he stirs nerves in them they never knew existed and that produce far, far more disturbing pleasures than they are used to on their own.”
• “Wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”
• “The kind of lovemaking that can run circles round time.”
• “Scrambling for something to say, the way a fish struggles for water in a muddied pond that’s fast drying up in the heat.”
• “Unreal and sticky goblin lanes that seemed to lead to a different, nether realm you entered in a state of stupor and wonderment.”
• “I intentionally failed to drop breadcrumbs for my return journey; instead, I ate them.”
• “By not planning to keep things alive, we were avoiding the prospect that they might ever die.”
• “We were eloping together with return-trip tickets to different destinations.”
• “That summer, our lives had scarcely touched, but we had crossed to the other bank… We had found the stars… And this is given only once.”
UPDATE re Film
I've just seen the film, and unlike many GR fans of the book, I was very disappointed.
• It looks gorgeous: Italian sun and scenery, and some subtly clever cinematography, particularly with the relative positioning of characters in the scene.
• It sounds good, too, which matters, given the importance of music in the story, especially Elio.
• Whereas the recent adaptation of On Chesil Beach added a significant postscript to the story that changed the meaning of the main story (see my review here), this omitted the rather pointless postscript of the book.
But:
• I didn't feel the warmth, let alone the passion. I didn't believe the characters, let alone their relationship.
• It felt somehow prurient in a way the book did not, but that may just be me.
• The father was creepy, rather than empathetic.
• A seminal trip was to beautiful countryside, rather than Rome. Why?
Film details on imdb here.
November 15, 2022
"I thought I understood why everyone swears by Sant'Eustachio's coffee; or perhaps I wanted to think I understood, but I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure I liked it. Perhaps no one else did but felt obliged to fall in with the general opinion and claimed that they too couldn't live without it."
Never have a line been written so accurate about not loving a popular product. In my case, this book.
For the entire first 70 percent of the book.
But if that's the way it's been written so that I could appreciate the last 30 percent, I agree, so be it.
***3 things are clear:
*The writing is good and the characters are convincing.
*I didn't like this book as much as everyone else. It's fine. I waited all these years to pick it up again, waiting for the right time. I tried reading this book like 6 times before I actually ended up reading it on 11th January, 2021.
*I am going to like the movie adaptation more.
I wish this book was 30 percent young adult and 70 percent their later years. I love the last 30 percent of the book so much.
*******🖤*******🖤*******🖤*******🖤******🖤****
I was about to rate this one a 3 star but the last few pages were so good that I felt it's much more than a 3 star read.
I wish the first 60 percent was as good as the later 40 percent.
Yes, the love for this book comes slowly and steadily. Take your time. Be in a quiet environment when you're reading this one.
*********🖤*********🖤**********🖤**********🖤****
I liked the parents and the other side characters. The few pages towards the end of the book where the father said some important things will always stay as one of my favourite chapters.
I wish the humour was better in some parts of the writing.
I specifically didn't find this one funny at all.
"When I looked around, I saw that I had vomited right next to the statue of the Pasqhino....
I swear, there were peas there that hadn't been bitten into and could have fed the children of India."
Really?
Wish this book was better for me.
Never have a line been written so accurate about not loving a popular product. In my case, this book.
For the entire first 70 percent of the book.
But if that's the way it's been written so that I could appreciate the last 30 percent, I agree, so be it.
***3 things are clear:
*The writing is good and the characters are convincing.
*I didn't like this book as much as everyone else. It's fine. I waited all these years to pick it up again, waiting for the right time. I tried reading this book like 6 times before I actually ended up reading it on 11th January, 2021.
*I am going to like the movie adaptation more.
I wish this book was 30 percent young adult and 70 percent their later years. I love the last 30 percent of the book so much.
*******🖤*******🖤*******🖤*******🖤******🖤****
I was about to rate this one a 3 star but the last few pages were so good that I felt it's much more than a 3 star read.
I wish the first 60 percent was as good as the later 40 percent.
Yes, the love for this book comes slowly and steadily. Take your time. Be in a quiet environment when you're reading this one.
*********🖤*********🖤**********🖤**********🖤****
I liked the parents and the other side characters. The few pages towards the end of the book where the father said some important things will always stay as one of my favourite chapters.
I wish the humour was better in some parts of the writing.
I specifically didn't find this one funny at all.
"When I looked around, I saw that I had vomited right next to the statue of the Pasqhino....
I swear, there were peas there that hadn't been bitten into and could have fed the children of India."
Really?
Wish this book was better for me.
September 12, 2018
im flustered. im at a loss. im reeling from a multitude of thoughts and feelings.
oh, where do i even start with a book like this? the story? the characters? the prose? there was a little too much introspection for my liking. i prefer my books to have some sort of consistent plot/action to follow, but the writing, the way in which elio expressed himself, totally made up for it. the writing made my soul sing. yes, it was little bit pretentious, a little too intellectual. but goodness me. i would be lying if i didnt say the prose was absolutely stunning. honestly, just read this:
‘and on that evening when we grow older still we will speak about these two young men as though they were two strangers we met on the train and whom we admire and want to help along. and we will want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.’
so gorgeous. for me, the writing took young obsession and infatuation and elevated those feelings to poetic desire and endearment. i really enjoyed reading about elios growth and how his experiences with oliver shaped him. the ending wasnt what i was hoping for, but i felt very satisfied and at peace with the conclusion. which just shows how wonderfully this story was told.
overall, this didnt blow me away/astound me as much as all the hype made me believe it would, but i did walk away feeling very touched and comforted. which is exactly what you want from a book like this. <3
↠ 4 stars
oh, where do i even start with a book like this? the story? the characters? the prose? there was a little too much introspection for my liking. i prefer my books to have some sort of consistent plot/action to follow, but the writing, the way in which elio expressed himself, totally made up for it. the writing made my soul sing. yes, it was little bit pretentious, a little too intellectual. but goodness me. i would be lying if i didnt say the prose was absolutely stunning. honestly, just read this:
‘and on that evening when we grow older still we will speak about these two young men as though they were two strangers we met on the train and whom we admire and want to help along. and we will want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.’
so gorgeous. for me, the writing took young obsession and infatuation and elevated those feelings to poetic desire and endearment. i really enjoyed reading about elios growth and how his experiences with oliver shaped him. the ending wasnt what i was hoping for, but i felt very satisfied and at peace with the conclusion. which just shows how wonderfully this story was told.
overall, this didnt blow me away/astound me as much as all the hype made me believe it would, but i did walk away feeling very touched and comforted. which is exactly what you want from a book like this. <3
↠ 4 stars
April 15, 2022
“You are the only person I’d like to say goodbye to when I die, because only then will this thing I call my life make any sense. And if I should hear that you died, my life as I know it, the me who is speaking with you now, will cease to exist.”
This is a book of all-consuming obsession, sensual to the point that is feels uncomfortable to read at parts, to the point that you feel voyeristic for just sharing those very intimate emotions with Elio and really want to look away, to allow for a semblance of privacy.
“He came. He left. Nothing else had changed. I had not changed. The world hadn't changed. Yet nothing would be the same. All that remains is dreammaking and strange remembrance.”
Everything is intense, sensual, overpowering, intoxicating — the thoughts, the smells, the imagery. The oppressive summer heat, the minutiae of the languorous sun-bathed days, the overpowering longing for someone - that someone who is forever etched into the very fibers of your heart. The excruciating intensity with which Elio turns even the smallest things, the tiniest details, over and over in his feverish mind. Perfect clarity and anguished confusion coexisting often in the same sentence, same thought. The desire - no, the sheer need - to be with someone so much that you can meld into the same person, inhabit each other’s body and mind, forget in this confusion where you end and the other begins.
“Did I want to be like him? Did I want to be him? Or did I just want to have him? Or are “being” and “having” thoroughly inaccurate verbs in the twisted skein of desire, where having someone’s body to touch and being that someone we’re longing to touch are one and the same, just opposite banks on a river that passes from us to them, back to us and over to them again in this perpetual circuit where the chambers of the heart, like the trapdoors of desire, and the wormholes of time[…]”
I remember being young like Elio, young and wearing my heart on my sleeve. From the distance of time I recall how intense everything seemed - and was. How strong and overpowering and at times surreal emotions felt. How all-consuming and pleasantly suffocating love and obsession seemed. How raw the feelings were. How dramatic things seemed. How pain and joy seemed to coexist and both could feel like they could kill you in an instant.
“Cor cordium, heart of hearts, I’ve never said anything truer in my life to anyone.”
Maybe you need to have experienced that kind of overwhelming obsession, overpowering infatuation with another person to really *feel* this story, to recognize - at times almost shamefully - that all-encompassing obsession, the need taking over your whole being.
I doubt that it will appeal to many young people, those closer to Elio’s age than his father’s age. I think the pull of nostalgia for the intense feelings of early youth is part of the strength of this story — and you need some temporal distance for the nostalgia to feel real. There a reason why a man two decades older than his seventeen-year-old remembered self is telling us the story of that lazy Italian summer and the deep impact it had on his entire life.
“Time makes us sentimental. Perhaps, in the end, it is because of time that we suffer.”
Aciman does not shy away from uncomfortable. There are a few scenes so personal that they made me cringe, and yet within the framework of this book — where soul and desires and the darkest and deepest urges are longings are all laid bare — they fit.
Listen to it, superbly narrated by Armie Hammer whose voice adds to the magnetic pull of the words, who portrays a perfect Elio - and then, just as these young men longed for, becomes Oliver in the film. (Also, say what you want about that film - but that scene of Oliver goofily and unselfconsciously dancing while Elio darkly watches him gets nothing but pure love from me).
4.5 stars.
“We had the stars, you and I. And this is given once only.”
——————
Also posted on my blog.
November 13, 2017
5+Stars.
One of my top reads this year,without any doubt.
I read this weeks ago and still can't find the words to express how much I loved it.
All I can say is,
-it's beautiful,
-it made me happy,
-it made me sad,
-it just made me Feel,so many emotions.
-the writing is just stunning.
Read Nick's review,because he's said it perfectly.
Favourite quotes,
Cannot recommended highly enough.
One of my top reads this year,without any doubt.
I read this weeks ago and still can't find the words to express how much I loved it.
All I can say is,
-it's beautiful,
-it made me happy,
-it made me sad,
-it just made me Feel,so many emotions.
-the writing is just stunning.
Read Nick's review,because he's said it perfectly.
Favourite quotes,
Let summer never end, let him never go away, let the music on perpetual replay play forever, I’m asking for very little, and I swear I’ll ask for nothing more.
There is a law somewhere that says that when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well. Amor ch’a null’amato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who’s loved from loving
To look up and find you there, Oliver. For the day will come soon enough when I’ll look up and you’ll no longer be there.
“Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine,” which I’d never done in my life before and which, as soon as I said my own name as though it were his, took me to a realm I never shared with anyone in my life before, or since.
Cannot recommended highly enough.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49,006 reviews