Leo Valdez Quotes

“This is the Valdezinator, of course!’ He puffed out his chest. ‘It works by, um, translating your feelings into music as you manipulate the gears. It’s really meant for me, a child of Hephaestus, to use, though. I don’t know if you could –’

‘I am the god of music!’ Apollo cried. ‘I can certainly master the Valdezinator. I must! It is my duty!”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“If the statue engulfs people in fire, we should send Leo.’
‘I love you too, man.’
‘You know what I mean. You’re immune. Or, heck, give me some of those nice water grenades and I’ll go. Ares and I have tangled before.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“As his raft skimmed over the water, taking him back to the mortal world, he understood a line from the Prophecy better-an oath to keep with a final breath.
He understood how dangerous oaths could be. But Leo didn't care.
"I'm coming back for you, Calypso," he said to the night wind. "I swear it on the River Styx.”
― Rick Riordan

“The way Leo figured it, he spent more time crashing than he did flying. If there was a rewards card for frequent crashers, he'd be, like, double platinum level.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Leo smiled nervously. Maybe he and Percy did share something else – a stupid sense of humour.
‘Yeah, I bet that would totally be against her sponsorship deal. THOSE ARE NOT THE OFFICIAL SHOES OF THE OLYMPICS! YOU WILL DIE NOW!’
Hazel rolled her eyes. ‘You’re both impossible.’
Behind Leo, a thunderous voice shook the ruins: ‘YOU WILL DIE NOW!”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“Want to hit Leo?
That is understandable
Hunk muffin earned it”
― Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

“No!" Leo yelled.
"Uhhh," Nico groaned from the floor.
"Piper!" Jason cried.
"Monkey!" Frank yelled.
"Not monkeys," Hazel grumbled. "I think those are dwarfs."
"Stealing my stuff!" Leo yelled, and ran for the stairs.”
― Rick Riordan

“At the end of the hall stood a walnut door with a bronze plaque:

ASCLEPIUS

MD, DMD, DME, DC, DVS, FAAN, OMG, EMT, TTYL, FRCP, ME, IOU, OD, OT, PHARMD, BAMF, RN, PHD, INC., SMH

There may have been more acronyms in the list, but by that point Leo's brain had exploded.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“The Romans move east from New York. They advance in your camp, and nothing can slow them down.
"Nothing can slow them down," Leo mused. "I wonder..."
"What?" Jason asked.
Leo looked at the dwarfs. "I'll make you a deal."
Akmon's eyes lit up. "Thirty percent?"
"We'll leave you all the treasure," Leo said, "except the stuff that belongs to us, and the astrolabe, and this book, which we'll take back to the dude in Venice."
"But he'll destroy us!" Passolos wailed.
"We won't say where we got it," Leo promised. "And we won't kill you. We'll let you go free."
"Uh, Leo...?" Jason asked nervously.
Akmon squealed in delight. "I knew you were as smart at Hercules! I will call you Black Bottom, the Sequel!"
"You, no thanks," Leo said. "But in return for us sparing your lives, you have to do something for us. I'm going to send you somewhere to steal from some people, harass them, make life hard for them any way you can. You have to follow my directions exactly. You have to swear on the River Styx."
"We swear!" Passalos said. "Stealing from people is our specialty!"
"I love harassment!" Akmon agreed. "Where are we going?"
Leo grinned. "Ever heard of New York?”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Dude." Jason gave Percy a bear hug.
"Back from Tartarus!" Leo whooped. "That's my peeps!”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Rainbows. Very Macho! ~Leo Valdez”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”
“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Akmon squealed with delight. “I knew you were as smart as Hercules! I will call you Black Bottom, the Sequel!”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learn early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared, you usually didn't get beat up. Even the baddest gangster kids would tolerate you, keep you around for laughs. Plus, humor was a good way to hide the pain”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Leo had recently discovered how to change the display, like the Times Square JumboTron,so now the banner read: Merry Christmas! All your presents belong to Leo!”
― Rick Riordan

“[Hazel] hissed in frustration. 'I hate eidolons. I thought Piper made them promise to stay away.'
'Oh...' Frank said, like he'd just had his own daily happy thought. 'Piper made them promise to stay off the ship and not possess any of us. But if they followed us, and used other bodies to attack us, then they're not technically breaking their vow...'
'Great,' Leo muttered. 'Eidolons who are also lawyers. Now I really want to kill them.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“One basketball to rule them all.”
― Rick Riordan

“Shut up, me" Leo said out loud.
"What?" Piper asked.
"Nothing," he said. "Long night. I think I'm hallucinating. It's cool.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Commander Tool Belt" Jason said.
"Bad Boy Supreme" Piper said.
"Chef Leo the Tofu Taco Expert."
They laughed and told stories about Leo valdez, their best friend. They stayed on the roof until dawn rose, and Piper started to believe they could have a fresh start. It might even be possible to tell a new story in which Leo was still out there.
Somewhere...”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“[Leo] lunged at Passalos, but the red-furred dwarf was too quick. He sprang from his chair, bounced off Jason’s head, did a flip, and landed next to Leo, his hairy arms around Leo’s waist.
“Save me?” the dwarf pleaded.
“Get off!” Leo tried to shove him away, but Passalos did a backward somersault and landed out of reach. Leo’s pants promptly fell around his knees.
He stared at Passalos, who was now grinning and holding a small zigzaggy strip of metal. Somehow, the dwarf had stolen the zipper right off Leo’s pants.
“Give—stupid—zipper!” Leo stuttered, trying to shake his fist and hoist up his pants at the same time.
“Eh, not shiny enough.” Passalos tossed it away.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“I'm all about doing the impossible.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“People of Earth, I come in peace!”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“Survive today. Figure out crayon drawing of destiny later.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“The future for Commander Tool Belt was not looking so hot.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“He hated being filled with terror. It was embarrassing.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“Hey." Leo grinned, which was unnerving in the flames, his teeth like molten silver ingots. "I told you I had a plan. When are you going to trust me? And by the way- I love you guys."
Festus claw opened, and Jason and Piper fell.
Jason had no strengh to stop it. He held on to Piper as she cried Leo's name, and they plummeted earthward.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“And the seventh hero…Leo Valdez?”

Nico raised his eyebrows. “You remember his name?”

“Of course! He invented the Valdezinator. Oh, what a musical instrument! I barely had time to master its major scales before Zeus zapped me at the Parthenon. If anyone could help me, it would be Leo Valdez.”
― Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

“Caves of blue.
Strike the hue.
Westward, burning.
Pages turning.
Indiana.
Ripe banana.
Happiness approaches.
Serpents and roaches.

There once was a god named Apollo
Who plunged in a cave blue and hollow
Upon a three-seater
The bronze fire-eater
Was forced death and madness to swallow”
― Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

“Lei had recently discovered how to change the display, like the Times Square JumboTron,so now the banner read: Merry Christmas! All your presents belong to Leo!”
― Rick Riordan, The Demigod Diaries