Reciprocity Quotes

“Human beings have a natural urge to worship that “something greater” which coheres us, but we, in modernity, are living in a kind of spiritual cul-de-sac where our gifts only serve the human community. Unlike the many shamanic cultures that practice dreamwork, ritual, and thanksgiving, Westerners have forgotten what indigenous people understand to be cardinal: that this world owes its life to the unseen. Every hunt and every harvest, every death, and every birth is distinguished by ceremony for that which we cannot see, feeding back that which feeds us. I believe our epidemic alienation is, in good part, the felt negligence of that reciprocity.”
― Toko-pa Turner, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home

“The characteristics of healthy boundaries include self-respect; non-tolerance of abuse or disrespect; responsibility for exploring and nurturing personal potential; two-way communication of wants, needs, and feelings; expectations of reciprocity; and sharing responsibility and power.”
― Laurie Buchanan, PhD

“As we apprentice ourselves to the way of nature, we begin to understand that all of life is in a continuous cycle of giving and receiving. It is the honouring of this cycle that makes us feel at home in ourselves and in relation to the rest of nature. In order to experience true belonging, we must not only acknowledge the gifts we are receiving, but also give our beauty away, no matter how it may be received by others.”
― Toko-pa Turner, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home

“o relație bună, am mai spus-o, este reciprocă: amândoi, în egală măsură, investim energie, grijă, preocupare pentru relație”
― Domnica Petrovai, Iubește și fii iubit(ă): (aproape) totul despre relația de cuplu

“One simple glance can convey to your recipient that you are . . .
• Present
• Interested
• Paying attention
• Being respectful
• Listening
• Confident
• Engaged
• Caring
• Dedicated
• Appreciative
• Empathetic
• Focused
• Supportive
• Trustworthy
• Acknowledging
• Excited
This list barely scratches the surface; however, it opens the conversation about how vital your eye contact is for making positive first impressions.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Eye Contact Can Reveal if a Person is . . .

• Shy or gregarious
• Honest or deceitful
• Confident or terrified
• Interested or bored
• Patient or irritated
• Sincere or inauthentic
• Organized or Unprepared
• Attentive or distracted”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“There are times when eye contact can move to the dark side and become creepy, hostile, rude, or condescending. When it is overused or made for the wrong reasons, eye contact can make others feel uncomfortable and leave a terrible impression . . .

• obsessive staring
• mocking
• too much intensity
• inappropriate focus
• averting eyes
• obvious contempt
• gawking, ogling
• casting the "evil eye"
• over-watching
• intimidating
• unwelcome looks
• rolling the eyes”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Mirroring and matching works at the sub-conscious level and serves to make the other person feel more “comfortable” and connected to you. These subliminal actions can create a subconscious feeling of unison and connection that demonstrate how much you have in common.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Your eyes are the windows to your soul” indeed. It is a cliché for a good reason—it is a timeless truth with universal application.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Meaningful eye contact has the power to transcend time and space to connect us with others and can be one of the most gracious and important ways to demonstrate attention and respect.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“When you make eye contact with another person, you can send thousands of silent messages without even speaking a word. No wonder eye contact can be both a direct form of communication and an elusive attribute at the same time.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Whether it is in a sales situation, love at first sight, a husband and wife having an important conversation, a parent disciplining a child, or a teacher instructing her students, eye contact is a powerful body language for enriching engagement, focus, and communication.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Being culturally aware and respectful of others’ cultures will help you to keep the habit of making eye contact in context. As a matter of fact, in some parts of the world making eye contact can be construed as being exactly the opposite of what I am sharing in these pages. Making a great first impression is always about the specific environment and circumstance, isn’t it?”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“We've all been in the middle of a conversation and the person with whom we are speaking breaks eye contact, appears distracted, glazes over, or looks elsewhere. Their simple eye movement can quickly break down communications by making us feel ignored, dismissed, or rejected. For some, it may be accidental and unintentional, while for others, avoiding eye contact is on purpose.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“12 Reasons Why People Avoid Eye Contact

1. They do not want to reveal their feelings.
2. They are not being honest and truthful.
3. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed.
4. They are being rude or indifferent.
5. They are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about something.
6. They are nervous or lacking confidence.
7. It makes them feel very uncomfortable.
8. They are arrogant, snobby, and pretentious.
9. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid.
10. They are shy or introverted.
11. They are accessing internal thoughts or emotions to process and contemplate information.
12. Or as mentioned before, and important to remember, it may simply be a cultural value or behavior.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“As with most things in life, a healthy balance will keep us on the right path. To avoid too much eye contact or too little, seek to create a comfortable mix. It is generally encouraged to use more eye contact when you are listening and less when you are speaking.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“When speakers make eye contact with an audience, they will be perceived as being more prepared, more competent, confident, and trustworthy. Eye contact helps to relax the speaker and reminds them that their audience is made up of separate individuals who perceive things differently. Audience response is clearly seen in the expressions of their eyes.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“7 Ways to Improve Eye Contact at any Time

1. Relax into the moment by smiling.
2. Practice making eye contact with people you trust, so that when you are with strangers, it is easier to form a connection.
3. When you feel uncomfortable, begin by looking at their mouth or forehead.
4. Lean in and show that you are interested and attentive.
5. Put a little space between you and the other person.
6. Remember that the other person may be feeling just as awkward.
7. Don’t give them a blank stare throughout a conversation. Rather, practice gazing down or to the side every few moments so that you appear relaxed.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“There is a law somewhere that says that when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well. Amor ch’a null’amato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who's loved from loving, Francesca's words in the Inferno. Just wait and be hopeful. I was hopeful, though this was perhaps what I had wanted all along. To wait forever.”
― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

“Mirroring provides social cues through body language and behavior which enable us to develop more empathy and understanding for others.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Who are we the most comfortable with? People who are the most like us! The “Similarity-Attraction Hypothesis” (Newcomb, 1956) found that similar (real or perceived) personalities are a major determinant of our likability and friendship choices. It is simply human to gravitate toward people like us. This tribal inclination runs the gamut across demographics of age, ethnicity, culture, education, religion, and even personality style. Mirroring will enable you to find ways to create the comfort of familiarity through similarity.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Since we know people like to do business with people who are most like themselves, consider this: Excellent sales people understand that "matching and mirroring" another person’s body language is a powerful technique and subliminal way to develop trust, build rapport, and make their clients more comfortable and engaging. Subtly mirroring the postures, gestures, and body language of your client inspires a kinship of commonality.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Early in my sales career, various sales trainers taught our teams how to use matching and mirroring to build rapport and earn trust with our clients. When done well, it would inevitably help us improve customer service and closing ratios. It was not encouraged as a deceptive sales practice to manipulate, but rather a subtle way to make a great first impression and connect on a meaningful level.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“By mirroring, speaking, and moving in tandem with my clients, I provided them with a sense of familiar comfort and ease which helped us work well together. When they leaned forward, I would lean forward. When they crossed their arms, I would cross my arms. When they began speaking slowly and quietly, I would do the same. These subtle actions help to us to communicate more effectively.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Becoming aware of what you are doing and how others perceive you will provide you with instant insight for making changes where necessary.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Whatever you are putting out into the universe is going to be returned unto you and have a direct correlation to what you are getting back. In many ways, you are a magnet and manifest accordingly.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Think of your personal and professional life—are you attracting what you want? Are you attracting the kind of people you like? Do you feel that life is working for you or against you? How have others been treating you? Are you pleased with your results?”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“Modeling for others a sincerely positive and encouraging countenance will not only enrich their lives, it can foster trust and appreciation for you. This subtle technique of mirroring can help others feel compatibility with you and lead them to feel better about themselves. A win for everybody!”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“5 Tips for Mirroring Others

1. Body language. When they smile, you smile. When they lean back in their chair, you lean back in your chair. When they cross their legs or fold their arms, you do the same.
2. Vocabulary or specific words. Notice their language and the words they choose and use—their keywords, expressions, expletives, or phrases.
3. Communication style. People receive, process, and deliver information in different ways. Notice whether someone is results driven or relaxed, emotional or pragmatic, talkative or observant. Recognizing their style will enable you to adapt your style to theirs to build rapport and improve communication.
4. Vocal style.
a. Speech rate—If they are talking fast, you talk fast. If they are talking slowly, you talk slowly. Consider rhythm, pace, and tempo.
b. Volume—If they are speaking quietly and softly, match their volume.
c. Tone—Mirror their emotion, tone, and pitch. You can even seek to mirror their grammar and dialect, as long as it is discreet and respectful.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

“As we explore this valuable non-verbal language, please note that these principles do not apply in many cultures around the world. In some cultures, direct eye contact may offend, affront, violate, or threaten.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact