Romance Funny Quotes

“Two days after my dad's funeral, my mom went on a mission. I never understood it until then--that sometimes a spy doesn't need a cover so much as she needs a shield.”
― ally carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be.”
― Samantha Stroh Bailey

“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”
“Um . . . okay.”
I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”
Oh. My. God.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“This was now officially the most inane conversation in which Griff had ever been a participant—and that included a drunken debate with Del over ostrich racing.

“The color isn’t too awful?” She twisted a fold of the skirt. “The draper called it ‘dewy petal,’ but your mother said the shade was more of a ‘frosted berry.’ What do you say?”

“I’m a man, Simms. Unless we’re discussing nipples, I don’t see the value in these distinctions.”
― Tessa Dare, Any Duchess Will Do

“Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts.

I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies.

“You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad?

Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now.

He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest.

I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.”

“So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.”
― Lilly Avalon, Here All Along

“And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's souls and all of the lost time would come out in the shape of a big smile, a few tears and a tight hug that feels like...
I don't know, it would feel like home.”
― Morgan Parker, Non Friction

“Kyle, you are a mellow dude...You can’t be with an agitator. And that’s what she is. An agitator. She’s a Jackson Pollock and you’re a Thomas Kinkade.”
― Genevieve Dewey, The Good Life

“Kate giggled. “Excellent choice.”
“I always make excellent choices.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Of course I do. I picked ye, didn’t I?”
― Whitney K-E, What Happens in Ireland

“Very Nice to meet you all"

They all floated in silence as if waiting on something when it dawned on me that they were waiting for me to get in. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it with my towel. When I turned around their mouths were agape.

"What?"

"N-nothing" Finley said, her eyes wide.”
― Fisher Amelie, Greed

“You're not my words, Emma." I said, standing up and staring at the door while pretending to be gazing deep into her pretty hazel eyes. "But you're my numbers. You're all of my numbers." I paused, listened, and figured she had fallen asleep. "You're my infinity.”
― Morgan Parker, Non Friction

“The hotness of a sex scene lies in the loins of the beholder.”
― J.Leigh Hunter

“I don't trust you to go alone," Charlotte said. "You'll end up getting killed in a duel with Braddock."
"If I do, it won't happen before dawn at the least. There are still several hours during which you will have to obey me."
"What happens to me if you're killed?" Charlotte asked. "Will I be free to do as I wish then?"
"Remove that bloodthirsty look from your eye, baggage. If anything happens to me, you will be passed along with the furniture and the paintings to the next Earl of Denbigh, whoever he may be."
Charlotte pursed her lips. "I think I would prefer to deal with you. At least we have reached a sort of understanding. So, if you please, I would rather you did not let the duke kill you."
"I'll do my best to avoid it," he assured her.”
― Joan Johnston, Captive

“For a God whose heart is supposed to be as cold as his realm, you are so warm and kind. You
make it hard to resist,” she murmured.
“Why should you resist? You know how much you are enjoying yourself.”
“Much as I hate to admit it,” she sighed”
― M.M. Kin, Seeds Volume One

“Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!

When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.”
― M.C. Lavocat, Control

“Alarmed and bordering on terrified, Frankie reached for the closest thing she could find that might work as a weapon – which in Louise’s house was a curling iron – and tiptoed downstairs to confront the intruder - Chapter One”
― Kerri Thomson, The Chocolate Is The Life

“I shook my head back and forth as though I was a human etch-a-sketch, erasing the memory.”
― Nicole Gulla, The Lure of the Moon

“It wasn’t right. A rescuer shouldn't have a hard-on while performing a heroic act. Charles was pretty sure there was a rule about that somewhere, but he'd be damned if it was one he could follow right now.”
― Tiffany Allee, Don't Blackmail the Vampire

“Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances. This was not the best of circumstances.”
― Genevieve Dewey, The Good Life

“Charlotte!" Denbigh roared. "What are you doing in my bedroom, and why didn't you knock?"
"I brought the doctor," she said with asperity.
"A young lady does not enter the bedroom of a gentleman to whom she is not married," Denbigh retorted.
"Then what is Olivia doing in here?" she asked.
"Olivia is my sister."
"So?"
"You are my ward."
"So?"
Olivia laughed. "Oh, Lion, you won't win an argument with Charlotte. Believe me, I've tried.”
― Joan Johnston, Captive

“I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, “Morning breath!”
― Melissa Aragon, Unexpectedly Out of Focus

“I swear, when that woman dies, she'll be deader than everybody else.~Pattiecake from Laid Out and Candle Lit”
― Ann Everett, Laid Out and Candle Lit

“Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat.”
― Jonas Eriksson, Hollywood Ass.

“The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.”
― A.E. Poynor, Somewhere West of Roads

“She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked hot in four-inch heels. He wondered how long she’d last in this town, and he decided he wanted to sleep with her before she left.”
― Tami Lund, Candy Crush

“Hell if I know. I’m twenty-six, single, just signed a year lease on an apartment…” She touched her eyebrows with her fingertips. “Damn, why did I move back here?”
“Sorry.” I grimaced. “The job market isn’t as bad as it was. I’d give you a job if you really needed one.”
“Thanks. Not sure how good of a bouncer I would be.”
“Maybe hair holder for drunk girls.”
“Sounds great,” she said flatly then made a gagging sound.”
― Nicole Castro, The Disintegrated House

“Yes, I just…” Should I be honest and sound like a complete loser? Oh why the hell not? “I have not had a kiss like that in a while.” I licked my lips.
He looked me dead in the eye. “Good.” A wave of silence crashed over us. I didn’t know what to say to that. “Well, I better get going. See you soon?”
I nodded dumbly. “Mmm-hmm.” He smiled and began to walk away. I couldn’t just let him go! “Declan!”
He turned. “Yes, Cake?”
Come on, brain! Think of something! “What should I wear? I mean, what kind of place is Shellshock?” Yes, yes, that was fine… damage averted.
“California casual.”
“Oh, ok.” I think I knew what that meant. Spend three hours getting ready to make it look like you just threw any-ol’-thing on. “Have a nice night.”
He flicked his head my way. “You too.”
Then he was gone.
And then I was sad.
It was ridiculous. Preposterous, even. I was going to have to come clean about the ring- eventually. I hoped he didn’t bring it up because I would probably tell the poor guy my life story to get to why the ring he bought meant so much to me.”
― Nicole Castro, Winner's Curse