I just wanted a little more connection with the four women's stories - it felt like no story was completely told in a way that gripped me.I just wanted a little more connection with the four women's stories - it felt like no story was completely told in a way that gripped me....more
one of the best books I read in 2023, every time i see the cover my heart twists with a bittersweet wish that I could read it again for the very firstone of the best books I read in 2023, every time i see the cover my heart twists with a bittersweet wish that I could read it again for the very first time...more
Let me start with saying, I grew up in IBLP as well. I am a year younger than Jinger and interacted with her siblings at Big Sandy in Texas multiple tLet me start with saying, I grew up in IBLP as well. I am a year younger than Jinger and interacted with her siblings at Big Sandy in Texas multiple times. My last family conference was spring 2014, where I taught pre-excel to some of the Bates kids. So yes, I often I say I grew up in the same community as the Duggars, because IBLP was a tight-knit world and we all knew of each other.
That said, Jinger's novel reads like shortbread with a little bit of drizzle. There's no deep exploration of how IBLP used her family nor how IBLP protected her brother's abuse and dad's control.
The good:
Jinger does a fantastic job of showing exactly how Bill Gothard exercised control over the IBLP community. She recalls the "Gothard's girls" and the rumors of abuse that swept through IBLP circles. She sidesteps really delving into the true horrors of Gothard's abuse, as a story too graphic or details too hard to reshare. It takes a lot of courage to call out a man who was both your childhood hero and who dominated your religious life. This is a good start to publicly calling out an abusive leader who ruined many, many lives.
The not-so-good:
Jinger stands by her family. This is evident throughout the book. She blames Gothard for the abusive teaching she grew up under and avoids blaming her parents for the toxic way she was raised. She does not discuss her lack of education, the way her life was exploited, or the abuse her parents covered up. Jinger avoids directly naming the abuse her brother did, calling the time when it was made public, "the darkest trial" her family went through.
The downright bad:
Jinger paints herself as the good opposite of religious deconstruction. She calls her journey away from IBLP "detangling" and considers it a better version of deconstruction. It is clear that Jinger has no real grasp of the deconstruction movement or the real reasons people left IBLP and Christianity.
She refers to Josh Harris as the leader of the deconstruction movement, even though he declared his lack of faith years after Recovering Grace and exvangelical communities had formed.
Frankly, Jinger's one-size fits all approach to deconstruction and faith is insulting. Some go so far as to say that Jinger has left one cult for another since she joined John MacArthur church.
I do not consider all churches to be cults. I strongly disagree with John MacArthur and Jinger's picture of the exvangelical community. I know that Jinger's views on the LGBTQ+ community and other non-evangelical people of faith are harmful.
However, I also understand how hard it is to accept an affirming faith or navigate a more accepting world after leaving IBLP. I joined a church very similar to MacArthur's when I left IBLP and believed as Jinger now does for a long time. No person harmed by Jinger's beliefs owes her grace, compassion or space to harm them. I offer that compassion in hopes that people like Jinger will one day see my own faith, my own life, and understand that God made me exactly as I am - and my faith and sexuality are not fallen or in need of redemption.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo's book is not for the snark community. It is not a tell-all memoir or an expose. It is the story of a girl still coping with trauma from years spent in the grips of IBLP, a daughter who still deeply loves her family despite public abuse, and a woman who finally feels free from the shadow of fundamentalism.
This book is hard to rate, mainly because I had never watched Sliding Doors and wasn't familiar with the tropes before diving in. Overall, I really liThis book is hard to rate, mainly because I had never watched Sliding Doors and wasn't familiar with the tropes before diving in. Overall, I really like Dahlia Adler's writing style, the pacing is quick, the characters engaging, and the storytelling is fun.
However, I deeply struggled to connect with either romance for most of the book because of the dual timelines. It felt a bit like whiplash every time we jumped from NYC to LA or back again.
My favorite parts of the story are Natayla's relationship's with her family. In both timelines, her parental relationship plays a major role in the story and I deeply appreciated that. It was so comforting to read the way Natalya struggled to connect with her mom and how they navigated forging connections together.
Overall, not a book I'd read a second time but a book I'll recommend. and I look forward to Dahlia Adler's next book, as always she is one of my go-to always-read authors.
the second hand cringe I felt over June's obtuse idiocy was so intense, I don't know how I kept reading the second hand cringe I felt over June's obtuse idiocy was so intense, I don't know how I kept reading ...more
the running away for three years post-breakup was much less believable the more you got to know Nina's friendsthe running away for three years post-breakup was much less believable the more you got to know Nina's friends...more
this genuinely might be the most painful book I've read all year - hit me so hard, it knocked the breath right out of methis genuinely might be the most painful book I've read all year - hit me so hard, it knocked the breath right out of me...more
there are few books that make me outright sob as I read them. This is one of the few.
the sheer emotion, the grief at loosing parents who refuse to chthere are few books that make me outright sob as I read them. This is one of the few.
the sheer emotion, the grief at loosing parents who refuse to choose you, the anxiety of being closeted most of your life and discovering your identity in your mid-twenties, the neurodivergence that spoke directly to me, it all came together in a stunning sweep of emotion that knocked me off my feet. This is a masterpiece. Anyone who has struggled to find their footing after parental rejection will understand this story in a deeply personal way. ...more
This book is just perfect rom-com cheesiness. As I love with all of her books, Bellefleur writes layers of sexiness just dripping off the pages. And IThis book is just perfect rom-com cheesiness. As I love with all of her books, Bellefleur writes layers of sexiness just dripping off the pages. And I'm here for it! Am I annoyed with the Van Dalen clan and all the money? yeah, it feels like a fairytale and not very realistic. I needed more of the bookstore and much less of the Bitsie and Tucker. I think I prefer a romance driven by character development and internal conflict with the relationship, rather than over-the-top villains.
Anyway, still super sapphic and sexy and fun! ...more
not sure why for a book about Canadian princes, we spent 80% of the book in NYC
this is a prince and a pauper mix-up, except it's actual twin princes wnot sure why for a book about Canadian princes, we spent 80% of the book in NYC
this is a prince and a pauper mix-up, except it's actual twin princes who were accidentally separated at birth. Billy grew up in Montana, coming out, losing his dad and developing a love for music. He's comfortable with his sexuality, uneasy about his high-school relationship and torn between his duty to his family ranch and aching dreams to live somewehre else.
Edward grew up ready to ascend to the Maple Crown. He's charming, sure of his place in the world, and hiding a massive secret - he's gay. So when the world discovers his twin brother and his twin comes out as gay, he feels sidelined. Not to mention, he's no longer the heir apparent, because his twin is slightly older than him.
And there's the story for you. Was it far fetched and ridiculously cheesy? yes did i read the whole book? yes
if you want to turn your brain off and eye-roll at a maple syrup reference every other page, then this is an okay read. Don't expect much reality when it comes to why in the world there's a Canadian monarchy or the ethics or real-life implications of monarchy. Keep in mind, it's very very YA - the romance, the hijinks, and the storytelling is for younger readers.