The feeling I got when I finished this was: Ho hum, what's for dinner?
It didn't make me feel anything AT ALL. Just a dude seducing some other dude's The feeling I got when I finished this was: Ho hum, what's for dinner?
It didn't make me feel anything AT ALL. Just a dude seducing some other dude's wife with a bunch of poems and Roman gods' names thrown in. Combine that with olden English and you have a very bored Nat.
And I have analyze it later for class. [image]
Merged review:
The feeling I got when I finished this was: Ho hum, what's for dinner?
It didn't make me feel anything AT ALL. Just a dude seducing some other dude's wife with a bunch of poems and Roman gods' names thrown in. Combine that with olden English and you have a very bored Nat.
And I have analyze it later for class. [image]...more
I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it. Reading it feels like a chore rather than something I'm actively looking forward to. A couple years DNF at 12%
I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it. Reading it feels like a chore rather than something I'm actively looking forward to. A couple years ago, I would've persevered because I hate not finishing books, but these days, I'm working full-time and I have to be more selective with my leisure time. ...more
Maybe I'm not in the right mood for Douglas Adams, because I didn't enjoy this as much as The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I found the writing funMaybe I'm not in the right mood for Douglas Adams, because I didn't enjoy this as much as The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I found the writing funny, but it just wasn't cracking me up, y'know? Might give it another go someday.
Also, they really spit on the source material in the BBC America TV adaption. The only things they have in common is the name Dirk Gently (Show Dirk is very different from Book Dirk in both appearance and personality) and the time travel element. They didn't even use time travel the same way. Like, couldn't you name your show something else rather than try to mooch off Adams's name?...more
“He might be young, with the face of an angel, but there was no mistaking the truth in his eyes. He was a killer.”
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Guess what happens next.
“He might be young, with the face of an angel, but there was no mistaking the truth in his eyes. He was a killer.”
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Guess what happens next. Go on, guess!
Yes, my dear stranger on the Internet. They fall in love.
It's a hardly a spoiler. You know it's going to happen the instant Yumeko notices Tatsumui's chiselled abs.
Honestly, Kagawa's work of late is extremely predictable and derivative. Which makes me equally disappointed and annoyed because I love, love, love her Iron Fey series. I want Puck to show up at my window, make flowers bloom from my bedpost, and carry me off to a quiet meadow somewhere. Blood of Eden, though rather unmemorable, was a good read and most importantly, different from her previous novels.
The Talon Saga is where is all starts to go downhill and Shadow of the Fox, unfortunately, is a sad continuation. It also reaffirms my belief that most authors who hit it big during the Paranormal Romance craze are slowly becoming obsolete. We're seeing it with Lauren Kate, Alexandra Adornetto, Becca Fitzpatrick... The ones who continue to thrive, like Kiersten White, do so because they're willing to evolve with the times. No longer is YA willing to put up with rapey love interests and Mean Girls. It's become bolder, more diverse, more mature, more willing to push the envelope.
Shadow of the Fox is basically a mashup of familiar Kagawa tropes. Tatsumui is broody and emotionally closed off, so essentially a clone of the soldier guy whose name I can't remember from Talon and to a lesser extent, Ash from the Iron Fey. Yumeko is Meghan and Talon's heroine mushed together. Kind-hearted, sweet, naive with a mild independent streak. The ronin Okame is a sarcastic rogue and a comic relief caricature along the lines of Puck, the vampire guy from Blood of Eden, and the snarky dragon from Talon. And then there's a fourth miscellaneous character whose personality varies, but is always male.
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Seriously, what is with the lack of important female characters? There's the heroine, but that's it. Kagawa always insists on surrounding her with prominent male characters. And the villain is usually female. Make of that what you will.
Did I like anything? The Japanese mythology elements are interesting. Though it did get increasingly annoying when words like "hai" or "ano" are casually slipped in. Yes, yes, authenticity, but it's cheapened by so many anime fanfiction that do the same.
If you're going to read a Kagawa book, go for The Iron King. At least there's Puck and killer world-building in it.
“One day, a queen will rise,” he whispered, as if the books had ears to eavesdrop. “Perhaps it will be in our lifetime, perhaps the one to follow u
“One day, a queen will rise,” he whispered, as if the books had ears to eavesdrop. “Perhaps it will be in our lifetime, perhaps the one to follow us. But Maevana will remember who she is and unite for a greater purpose.”
My reading experience summed up in one gif:
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The Queen's Rising takes a bunch of familiar YA fantasy concepts and fails to do anything new with them. We have the bring-magic-back-into-world quest, the find-a-magical-artifact scavenger hunt, a cruel, two-dimensional usurper king, and of course, the classic reinstate-the-rightful-queen-to-her-throne extravaganza.
Things happen, but they feel muted. There’s no urgency to this book, nothing that makes me want to keep turning pages. Perhaps it's hasty to say that Ross does nothing new—I did enjoy the lack of petty jealousies between the female ardens at Magnalia, where they train to be a passion in either wit, music, art, knowledge, or dramatics. There are strong sisterhood undertones to the narrative. But it's not enough to save this book from being a total snorefest. Some plot-turning decisions that characters make are really stupid, too. (view spoiler)[Allenach accepts his daughter back just like that. How dense and convenient can you get?? (hide spoiler)]
The romance is equally bland. Anyone with a gram of foresight could tell Cartier, Brienna's passion master, would be the love interest. The only saving grace is that this book isn’t romance-centric, so I got to snooze through the monotone plot instead of the romance.
The writing is nothing to write home about either (haha). It tries too hard and simply comes off as cliche and purple:
“He could feel the magic teem about her, as tiny flecks of diamonds in her armor, as stardust in her hair, as moonlight on her skin.”
“I thought you knew the rules of the game, my dear.”
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So did I, Xia Zhong. So did I.
My biggest quibble with Descendant of the Crane is that i
“I thought you knew the rules of the game, my dear.”
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So did I, Xia Zhong. So did I.
My biggest quibble with Descendant of the Crane is that it was marketed as a Chinese Game of Thrones. I love the moral complexity and political intricacies of GoT, and He's book was listed as one of Leigh Bardugo's most anticipated reads of 2019, so obviously I applied for an ARC. Sadly, just like King of Scars let me down earlier this year, so did this book.
Hesina is a terrible schemer, alright? In terms of the player hierarchy, Hesina is right there with Ned Stark and first-book Sansa Stark. Why the fuck would you show a criminal a secret passageway to your chambers? Just because a soothsayer told you he'd be the key to finding your father's killer doesn't mean he might not have motives of his own. For all you know, he could be an assassin and/or in cahoots with the soothsayer to murder her. (Bit of background knowledge—sooths are hated and hunted in this fictional universe) Sooths receive benefits like an extended lifespan if they tell the truth, but it doesn't mean they can't twist the truth. Surely a lifetime in court should've put Hesina more on guard.
Look, I don't mind naive characters. Hesina does learn and grow throughout the book. But I was promised savvy scheming, dammit, and I didn't get it. The level of court politics is too juvenile. And don't sell me that crap about how it's YA. Six of Crows and And I Darken are some twisty serpents.
The romance between Hesina and the criminal Akira is about as obvious as a vacuum at a broomstick convention. Literally the first thing she notices is how handsome Akira is, even though she's there in a position of power to strike a deal with him for finding her father’s killer. I'd like to fast forward to the good parts, please.
Pacing is also on the slow side. Honestly, I didn't start getting invested until the last 20% when almost all the secrets are out. It took me almost two months to finish this.
There's a very clear setup for a sequel, and it seems Hesina has matured into a worthy player. She's still far from Littlefinger, but maybe the sequel will surprise me.
Ten days to figure out how to beat his enemies at their own game.”
Kaz Brekker would have so much fun with Levi Glaisyer. He'd fleece Le
“Ten days.
Ten days to figure out how to beat his enemies at their own game.”
Kaz Brekker would have so much fun with Levi Glaisyer. He'd fleece Levi dry, then convince him Halloween pumpkins are a good investment in December.
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Look, in the olden days, a kinder, softer Natalie might have given Ace of Shades 3 stars. There's nothing overtly offensive about it. The writing's decent (if a bit tryhard at times), there are clear stakes, okay world-building—all in all, a solid YA fantasy. But these days, thesis deadlines are squeezing my fun-meter dry and when I sit down with a book to relax, I expect to be transported.
I paid for a good time in the City of Sin and I didn't get it.
Ace of Shades is very obviously inspired by Six of Crows, but falls completely flat where Crows soared. I can't buy Levi being a street lord at 17. He's too youthful, too inexperienced. Kaz, despite his age, was depicted as wise beyond his years and fully capable of commanding a gang. Levi actually acts his age, which is fine except his whole backstory falls apart. He should've been knocked down ages ago.
The romance has the finesse of a Donald Trump speech. I had the same issue with Descendant of the Crane. The hero/heroine notes that the other party looks attractive, but gee whiz, I’m certainly not going to fall for him/her! Nosiree, there’s more important business afoot! Then several chapters later, they’re pawing at each other in a broom closet. Where’s the slow burn from friendship to love? Or if it’s enemies-to-lovers, the hatred to grudging respect to tentative friendship to angsty love? I'd prefer slow uncertain development rather than the literary equivalent of a topic sentence.
Also, the guidebook excerpts in front of every section are cool, but makes no sense when you actually think about it. Guidebooks are meant to promote tourism and bring in capital. Those excerpts just warn people away. Have fun building a new bridge with your meager treasury.
Points for Levi being bisexual, though the primary romance is heterosexual so make of that what you will....more
"I didn't choose the blood that runs in my veins," I replied. "Any more than you chose your fate. You and I, we've become what we were made to beco
"I didn't choose the blood that runs in my veins," I replied. "Any more than you chose your fate. You and I, we've become what we were made to become."
I feel like I could throw a dart in a bookstore and hit at least a dozen YA books with practically the same quote and premise.
The nature vs nurture debate is well-trodden ground in fiction, not just in YA. Is there such thing as fate? Are villains born or made? These are all themes that can be reinvigorated and made fresh and unique, but Carve The Mark just fails across the board.
I'm the first to admit Divergent had its problems. But at least it was fun, fast-paced, and filled a Harry Potter and the Hunger Games niche. Carve The Mark is boring. Lifeless. Take them out of space and it'd be a more standard dystopian than its comparison title Divergent. And it ends abruptly just when things are getting exciting, as though it knows it needs something to bring readers back.
There's absolutely nothing noteworthy about the main characters Cyra and Akos. They're just there, taking up space, saying their lines, running through the motions. It's a mark of how utterly blah they are that their banter falls flat. Not a single crooked grin graced my mouth while reading.
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The romance is formulaic and didn't carry as much depth as it should have. Akos was captured by Cyra's people (the Shotet) as a child. Her brother ordered the murder of his father and brother. He is a prisoner falling in love with his captor, but he spends a weirdly short amount of time analyzing this.
Where's the self-loathing? I can't believe I'm asking this, but where's the angst? He accepts his feelings far too easily for someone in his position.
I personally think Ryzek, Cyra's power-hungry brother, is a far more interesting character to focus on because his currentgift allows him to swap out his own memories for someone else's. It explores the question of how much your past defines your personality. The person usually on the receiving end of these memory swaps is Akos's brother Elijah. Unfortunately, Roth insists on shining the spotlight on the boring siblings.
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Finally, the chronic pain/self-harm glorification:
"The gift," I said, "is the strength the curse has given me." The new answer was a blooming hushflower, petals unfurling. "I can bear it. I can bear pain. I can bear anything."
For the record, the title refers to a Shotet practice where lines are carved on their arm to mark their kills. Pain is a main theme in Carve the Mark and is ultimately presented as something positive, something that helps you build character.
There has been considerable outrage over this, which you can Google. While I agree that this message has some uncomfortable implications, I sort of understand why Roth wrote it the way she did. Her religious beliefs, I personally think, shape the way she writes. It's why she ended Allegiant the way she did.
(Please note that this is pure speculation and I could be as wrong as BBC Sherlock fans who thought Mary Watson was working for Moriarty. But the English major in me won't shut up.)
Overall, I expected more. More from YA, more from an author who has an international bestseller and a film franchise under her belt.
I won't be waiting for the sequel with baited breath....more
"The year I was seventeen, I had five best friends—a Pixie, a president, a pretender, a puker, and a douchebag—and I was in love with all of them f
"The year I was seventeen, I had five best friends—a Pixie, a president, a pretender, a puker, and a douchebag—and I was in love with all of them for different reasons."
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Dress Codes for Small Towns is like Starbucks's Unicorn Frappuccino. You like the idea of it. You think it looks sleek and colorful in those retouched Facebook ads or through an Instagram filter, but it just isn't good.
A lot of other people like it. It's just you.
The concept is unique and diverse. Billie is a gender-fluid teen living in a small town down South, which has conservative ideas regarding gender norms and sexuality. Her dad's preacher. Billie herself believes in God and never loses her faith.
"I decided that church members would never tell me what to do again. (Jesus could have his say—I was a person of faith; I just wasn't a person of legalistic bullshit.) Those women threw stones over a football and a girl who girled differently from them. That's the real problem—not people leaving the church, not Christians acting like Pharisees, not making up rules that don't exist."
But god, was it boring. The whole book is about normal teenagers doing normal teenager stuff and a competition for a Corn Dolly—a local community award exclusive to women. The sheer slice-of-lifeness of it all bore me to tears. And there's often unnecessary internal monologue about the town's history and customs, which I suppose has its appeal if you were heavily invested, but to me, it just added to the dull factor.
The dialogue comes off as pretentious at times, too.
"I don't kiss everyone. I kiss the people who have the little pieces of my soul I've been looking for."
Fans of YA Contemporary who are looking for a little diversity in their reads will adore this. But it wasn't my cup of tea.
"Why do you think that is, that you love these people you don't know."
Midnight at the Electric, like Anderson's other works, is a very literary so
"Why do you think that is, that you love these people you don't know."
Midnight at the Electric, like Anderson's other works, is a very literary sort of novel. It's quiet, character-focused, with prose that is simple yet elegant.
For that reason, her books often don't get the attention they deserve. It's too highbrow for YA. I confess I'm guilty of that too in this case. While Tiger Lily took my breath away with its quiet ferocity, Midnight at the Electric took me three months to read and left very little impact. I can't remember a single character's name, except for the niggling feeling that I should have enjoyed it more than I did.
What I can tell you is that it's a story of three women spanning decades and continents. It's a story of deep-boned love preserved like a flower pressed between pages.
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I do hope you give it a try. I know I didn't rate it high, but that's not a testament to its value. Not this time.
At some point you have to ask yourself: is it worth the stress to read on?
"My name is Falcio Val Mond, First Cantor of the Greatcoats, a
DNF at 40%
At some point you have to ask yourself: is it worth the stress to read on?
"My name is Falcio Val Mond, First Cantor of the Greatcoats, and this was only the first of a great many bad days to come."
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Traitor's Blade, unlike most adult high fantasy, is written in conversational first-person. Falcio talks to the reader quite frequently, that wink-wink-nudge-nudge style that very, very easily strays into annoying territory.
And that's exactly what it damn did. I read so many telling, not showing and "You might have expected me to do x, but I did y" scenarios, I was ready to grab a hatchet and finish murdering the lot of them.
Partially because of the writing, I didn't give a crap about anything. Not Falcio, not his friends whose friends I've already forgotten, not their bloody honor, or their plight.
Plus, Falcio's wife is raped and murdered which kicks off the story and Falcio's self-discovery journey. Are we not tired of lining male protagonists' character development with the bodies of dead women?
"I lean forward and the other three do the same. Hovering over poor, dead Grant, I say, "Okay, this is our story."
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Your story blows2.5 stars
"I lean forward and the other three do the same. Hovering over poor, dead Grant, I say, "Okay, this is our story."
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Your story blows. Can I have another one?
This Is Our Story had the potential to be all shades of amazing. Its premise sounds like a mix between The Raven Boys and With Malice.
The intrigue builds and builds and builds... then fizzles out. There's no ingenuity to the ending. It feels too much like something that would happen in real life. Oh. the cops just overlooked a key piece of evidence and the culprit is a guy already in the suspect lineup. Realism is necessary in murder mysteries, but I like a little shock value too.
The relationships between the River Point boys are nowhere as complex as some of the friendship-based thrillers I've read recently. I would describe them as tip-of-the-iceberg, with only base traits attached to each boy.
With Malice and Dangerous Girls do a magnificent job of attaching history to their characters. Their friendships are rich and layered, full of inside jokes and shared experiences. This Is Our Story is mainly told from Kate's perspective and she doesn't provide the same depth we would have gotten from a River Point boy. We do get chapters narrated by the murderer, but they're largely superfluous and deliberately devoid of personal detail so we don't know who it is.
The writing was also too simple for my tastes. There's nothing fancy about it, Point A to Point B stuff.
Great premise, awful execution. The new "Don't judge a book by its cover"....more
"I want you to meet your new sister, he'd said that night, as she trembled, the hot sweet scent of elixir watering her thirsty mouth. Perhaps you'v
"I want you to meet your new sister, he'd said that night, as she trembled, the hot sweet scent of elixir watering her thirsty mouth. Perhaps you've dreamt of her. Her name is Lizzie Hyde, and she wants you to be happy...but you mustn't ever make her angry, my sweet. You mustn't ever betray her. She won't understand."
The Diabolical Miss Hyde is one of those cases where the book itself is nice and creative, but you're just not feeling it. I mean, a gender-bender Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde should have been perfect for me, and it combines elements from Jack the Ripper and Frankenstein, with a dash of steampunk to jazz up its Victorian setting.
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I did like the relationship between Eliza Jekyll and Lizzie Hyde. Her shadow self resents Eliza for locking her away, but also takes care of her in a way much like an older sister. The writing styles compliments their dual perspectives perfectly. Eliza's POV is in third-person, symbolizing her more "orderly" nature, someone more polite and rational; while Lizzie's POV is first-person, all emotion and impulse, suitably intimate.
Captain Lafayette, the main love interest, didn't capture my attention though. He's kind of typical—charming, rude, sarcastic, in a position of authority compared to the MC... but lacks genuine spark. Peel back his layers and he's absolutely empty.
The writing's also a bit weird in places. You can clearly see sentences where the author was straining for metaphors or just tacked one on for aesthetic reasons.
I'd say give it a try anyway because the concept is quite lovely and the story is solid. But it just didn't work for me....more
"'Once, I was a mouse,' she says and strips off her glove. She reaches into the cage to stroke the rodent's tiny bald haunches.
'But I am not anymor
"'Once, I was a mouse,' she says and strips off her glove. She reaches into the cage to stroke the rodent's tiny bald haunches.
'But I am not anymore.'
Since this worked out so well last time:
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After the bloody events of the Quickening last book, one would be forgiven for expecting, nay, anticipating murder, mayhem, and violent mind games this round. One would expect the queens to focus tunnel vision-like on the prospect of winning and continued existence.
...Right?
"Not as beautiful as that." Nicolas bends and kisses the back of her gloved hand. "Not as beautiful as you."
Katharine blushes and nods downfield toward the targets.
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Katharine, my reborn poisoner, my best hope for some slaughter, has reverted back to a blushing milkmaid in the presence of a new hot suitor. You'd think she'd show some suspicion or caution towards handsome, unusually nice strangers after what happened with Pietyr, but either she's the most confident idiot in the world or the most hormonal. Take your pick.
(view spoiler)[She buys Pietyr's explanation way too easily. Granted, it takes nearly the entire book for her to accept him again, but there's not nearly as much mistrust and hatred as I expected. (hide spoiler)]
As someone who's writing a thesis on literary doubles, it gets frustrating when the duality between Nicolas (Katharine's new suitor) and Pietyr are presented with the subtlety of a knock knock joke. Katharine literally says Pietyr is her better half, the one who wants her to be softer, kinder. Nicolas relishes violence and feeds her dark side.
There's just so much goddamn romance. The first 30% of One Dark Throne is occupied with the queens' various romantic storylines, with Katharine occasionally sending out poisoned clothes as a transparent attempt to create tension.
I don't mind romance. Honestly, I don't. But when the blurb promises high stakes and war, I expect blood to flow all the way up to my knees.
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Arinsoe and Mirabelle. I had little to no expectations for these two, so I wasn't that disappointed when they sat back like the vanilla bread rolls they are. This series tries so hard to sell me that it's morally grey!, these characters are dark! when they are as pure as fresh stream water. (view spoiler)[Katharine's newfound darkness, as it turns out, is the result of weird malevolent magic. (hide spoiler)]
What I do have are questions:
1) Why does Arinsoe's low magic spell work astonishingly well after the disaster with the bear last time?
2) Actually, why is she still using low magic at all, given what happened? Why doesn't she at least hesitate or show inner turmoil?
3) Why would anyone randomly pick up a knife off the ground and then use it to slice meat? This doesn't make much sense if you haven't read the book, but the aftermath of this ludicrous decision sets quite a few plot wheels spinning.
Dare I say, plot convenience?
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(view spoiler)[Joseph's death is yawn. Does anyone really care about him? He's like the Mal of this series. (hide spoiler)]
The writing and world-building are still frustratingly sparse. On the former, the narrative gives off a traditional "fairy tale" vibe where we have action and dialogue, but we never have a solid handle on its characters. One Dark Throne largely foregoes stream-of-consciousness narrative (inner thoughts/monologue, simply put), so it's hard for me, personally, to relate to these characters. It lacks intimacy. They're plot pieces, not people.
As for world-building, two full-length books have gone by and I still don't have a good idea what Fennbirn looks like nor the three clans' culture and surroundings. (Truthfully, I don't have a clue what the sisters look like either) There are poisoners and naturalists and elementals... and then what? There's nothing to expand on. All I get from Wolf Spring (naturalist Arinsoe's home) is they're big on fried clams. But it's been two books! I should know more than fried clams.
Towards the end, we are led to believe that we'll receive world expansion in the form of the mainland, though I stand by my point. It's been two books. Nearly 800 pages. We should know more. I should feel more.
"It was a mistake. All of it. For as long as she'd known him, Mariko had despised the very idea of this boy.
But the truth of him?
The truth was not
"It was a mistake. All of it. For as long as she'd known him, Mariko had despised the very idea of this boy.
But the truth of him?
The truth was not quite as simple. It was silent entreaty. A wordless plea."
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Last time I offered a three-sentence summary of The Wrath and the Dawn. This time, I give you yet another short summary of Flame in the Mist:
Mariko: I'm going to dress up as a boy to infiltrate the Black Clan and find out why they sent people to assassinate me!
Okami: *works his chiseled cheekbones*
Mariko: Never mind
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Seriously now, I do think the romance here is better than The Wrath and the Dawn. There are no weird Twilight comparisons and blissfully free of rapey undertones.
But boy, was it random. Okami does next to nothing to endear himself to Mariko, but she falls in love with him anyway. The premise is exactly like TWATD—girl infiltrates boy's home with the intention to kill him, then tumbles head over heels for him without sufficient justification. You'll notice I didn't say "fall." Because she doesn't so much fall as plunge headfirst at Mach 1.
This is a quote from right after she nearly drowns:
"Mariko had never thought she'd see so many naked feelings cross his finely chiseled face."
Girl nearly died, but ya know *whispers* chiseled. Okami also smells like warm stone and wood smoke, courtesy of Dior's newest cologne line.
Also like TWATD, Mariko is set up to be this fierce, intelligent, badass character, but fails spectacularly at the one task she's given. Mariko is an awful spy, alright? Halfway through the novel and all she's done is mentally swear revenge x10000 and throw a teapot at someone. Ahdieh may be going for a fish-out-of-water scenario here, where Mariko thrives in political power games, then realizes the same tactics can't be applied to the real world. But we aren't shown scenes where she dominates in those fields either. We're just told (over and over and over again, by her brother, by Okami) that she's smart and supposed to take it at face value even when all evidence suggests otherwise.
I'm still scratching my head over the decision Mariko makes that kicks everything off. After her progression is attacked by the Black Clan, Mariko decides to track down her assassins herself because returning home, battered and dirtied, will cause rumors about her reputation, thus, hurting her family. Did I miss a few steps? A) Why would a pampered girl raised within the security of palace walls think she can make it on her own and B) What exactly will catching the assassins prove? I understand her desiring to taste freedom, but it's a terrible life decision. Like climbing Mount Everest.
The writing doesn't help either. It's melodramatic and overflows with declarative fragments like, "She would murder them. She'd show them all." (I made that up; I'm too lazy to flip for a real quote.) Sentences like that appear all the time, without much variation in sentence structure. They're meant to be impactful—and they are in sensible amounts. Too much, and it feels tired and unoriginal. Ahdieh tends to overexternalize her characters' emotions as well. For instance, if a character is sad, it rains, that kind of thing. It occurs so often, it loses emotional impact. When everything from walking through a garden to murdering a man feels DEEP and MEANINGFUL, nothing is.
I rated this lower than TWATD, but I do think it's slightly better in terms of romance. I just couldn't think of a single good thing about it individually.
FYI, Dragon's Beard candy originates from China. Flame in the Mist is centered in feudal Japan. Just sayin'....more
"One night reviled, before break of morn, amid the roses wild, all tangled in thorns, the shadow and the child together were born. The bri
2.5 stars
"One night reviled, before break of morn, amid the roses wild, all tangled in thorns, the shadow and the child together were born. The bright sun did spin, the moon swallowed day, when one her dear twin forever did slay."
What happens in Spindle Fire, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty, you ask? Here's the short version:
Half sisters Isabelle and Aurora: Omg, we love each other!
Isabelle: I would do anything for you!
Aurora: I would do anything for you!
Evil government agent: Isabelle, we're sending you to a convent.
Isabelle: No, I don't want to go!
Isabelle's childhood best friend Gil: Yo, babe, I'm hitching a ride to my relative's house forever. Wanna come with?
Isabelle:
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Um, yeah. Btw, I hate Aurora now because she's a princess and I'm not.
(They leave)
Random faerie: *does faerie things*
Aurora: *wandering around sad in an aesthetic way* I have to get Isabelle back. I'm going to go after her right now—Ooh, an abandoned cottage! Ooh, shiny thing...
(She falls into a deep sleep and wakes in Sommeil, a land in a dream dimension)
Aurora: Wh-where am I?
Hot stranger Heath: Are you a malevolent spirit? ANSWER ME! No? Then *presses his finger to her lips* chill, babe, I'll protect you.
Aurora:
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Random faerie: *does faerie things*
Isabelle: Oh noes, my country has the sleeping sickness!? I must save my sister!
Gil: *thinking how much he loves Isabelle, but can't act on it because of honor* Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Let's get in this boat.
Boat guy: We're a whaling ship. Here, blind girl, you man the harpoon.
Isabelle: *pulled off the boat and disappears into the sea*
Boat guy: Huh. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
Aurora: I have to return to my world, but Heath is so hot. When he touches me, I just—
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Isabelle: I'm alive! I have to find my sister's betrothed Prince William because only true love can save her. *breaks into the Prince's royal chambers* You have to come with me right now to my virus-ridden country!
Prince William: Well, it is highly unorthodox, but okay. We have to sneak out because my advisers would selfishly stop me from going.
Aurora: Oh, Heath. I mean, Isabelle. I have to go back.
Random faerie: *does faerie things*
Isabelle: Oh, Gil, love of my life, I miss you so. But William is really sexy. No, bad Isabelle, he's for Aurora.
Prince William: *breathes*
Isabelle:
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Random faerie: *does faerie things*
Isabelle: This convent that kindly took us in seems to be hiding something. Let's investigate!
Prince William: K
Nun: What the flip do you think you're doing?
Isabelle: Um—
Nun: That seems like a reasonable explanation. Come, you must make haste to rescue the princess!
Isabelle: Who? Oh yeah, her. Sorry, I've been really busy angsting over Gil and William.
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You get the idea. I love that the sisters are physically disabled (Aurora is mute and has no sense of touch, and Isabelle is blind), but the story surrounding them is lacking. Too much time was devoted to the multiple romances and not enough on the sisters' relationship. And the middle dragged like a cram school kid's backpack.
"I couldn't put my finger on the exact moment I'd become a different Mallory. Maybe because it wasn't just a moment but more of a combinat
2.5 stars
"I couldn't put my finger on the exact moment I'd become a different Mallory. Maybe because it wasn't just a moment but more of a combination of hundreds, even thousands of them.
[...]
And it was knowing that I could still be...still be afraid of everything, but not letting that fear stop me from living."
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I sighed as I stared at my laptop screen.
Do I really want to do this? I thought, tousling my hair sexily because I am a bookworm and bookworms are secretly hot as fuck once they ditch their glasses. Do I really want to bash a book that, in all honesty, appeals to my values?
Yes! a dark, fanged part of me shouted. A part of me I'd dubbed Cynical Natalie and seemed to grow with each negative review I wrote. Soon, she'd overwhelm me like Mr. Hyde and I'd be nothing more than a tiny corner of light in my own mind, screaming for help, as she posted gif after gif of Taylor Swift rolling her eyes.
I shivered. I don't want to be that girl. Mallory wasn't that bad. She was different from JLA's usual heroine: meek and shy. She had a mental speech impediment and she conquered it all by herself. And the rant on mansplaining and a little speech on why the First Amendment isn't a free pass for spewing crap was pretty nice. That's worth points.
I stared out the window. Pink tinged the sky in a very metaphorical way.
But I do feel like punching her. I sympathize with her, but I also want to punch her.
Hm, this is a conundrum.
What do you think? I asked Cynical Natalie.
DEATH TO STAIRS! she shrieked.
Well, that makes no sense. Biting down on my lower lip, I read over the notes I'd made.
Take a shot whenever Rider's fucking grin and dimples are mentioned.
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When he lowers his lashes.
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When his hotness is mentioned:
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When you see ellipses.
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When Mallory channels Ana Steele and says "Oh my" or "Oh my gosh."
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When the writing tries to be fancy and philosophical, but makes no sense when you think about it:
"...the way he said Mouse was so different from how Paige hurled the nickname. It was soft and deep and infinite."
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Bonus points!
Ten shots when you realize Rider is simply Daemon Black/Cam/every JLA love interest in different clothes and with differently colored eyes and hair.
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Twenty shots when this line shows because I didn't pay for an E.L. James metaphor:
"The blush turned my face into a breathing strawberry."
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Two hundred more for the pages that could've been shaved off.
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I realized I was grinning and my hands recoiled from the keyboard like a hot stove or a snotty tissue. What was I doing? I said I wouldn't bash this book! Yet here it was, my seething, ink-black hatred, oozing all over the screen.
Hurriedly, I pressed Crtl+A and prepared to delete the whole thing and start over.
My finger stalled above the button, quivering.
Then again, none of what I said was untruthful. I did not like The Problem of Forever. I shouldn't pretend like I did.
And I spent an hour on this when I should be doing real writing.
Sighing, I pressed "Save" and watched my bubbling, spitting mess of poisonous thoughts get turned into zeroes and ones and be forever immortalized on the Internet. I pulled up my blank Word document again and looked at it.
Eh, I'll do it later.
I clicked season 3 of Breaking Bad.
(I apologize for this review, guys. It's super weird.)
"Was he good? He had hurt those he loved before; he had disobeyed orders a hundred times over."
Me in response:
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Batman, as we all know, is on
"Was he good? He had hurt those he loved before; he had disobeyed orders a hundred times over."
Me in response:
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Batman, as we all know, is one of the most morally grey superheroes out there. Practically every incarnation of the Caped Crusader inevitably ends up knee-deep in a moral dilemma, struggling to define justice, wrestling with his inner demons, or likely all three at once. Gotham City doesn't have a prison; it has Arkham Asylum, representative of Batman's internal turmoil. Plus, he literally dresses in black and grey.
Then we have Nightwalker's Bruce Wayne, who's considerate and fair-minded and pure... and basically everything Batman isn't supposed to be. (#NotMyChristianGrey #NotMyBruceWayne)
The DC Icons series is intended to show readers what their favorite superheroes were like before they became full-time superheroes. Their teen years. Bruce may not have been as jaded at sixteen, but some brooding would be nice. A splash of the dark, hairline cracks in the psyche. Instead the Bruce here is a run-of-the-mill Hollywood lead who just wants to do the right thing and gets his flirt on with a mysterious gorgeous criminal, who's just vanilla enough to avoid disapproving tongue-tasks from the moms that drove their sons to the theater and decided to buy an extra ticket.
What I'm trying to say is—Nightwalker Bruce is boring. Bland. As interesting as a brick.
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The entire narrative is akin to dragging a spoon across a bowl of porridge. Whenever I tried to focus and read instead of skim (which I confess to already doing very early on) I could feel my attention slipping away like grappling with a wet bar of soap.
Maybe it's me. All I know is I felt like I was reading a well-trodden story with little to distinguish it from the competition. Things happen, but nothing lands; there's no personal emotional impact.
Madeline, I have nothing to say about her. She's generic, a cut-along-the-lines doll.
Writing has the same issue as Wonder Woman: Warbringer. Descriptions are delivered as though lifted straight from a comic panel. I want to read a book, not a novelization of another medium.
If it were anyone except Marie Lu, I would've DNF-ed this book. But I persevered. My reward is the sour tang of disappointment and the bitter hope for something more....more
Song review, baby, because I can't think of anything to write about. Hit it, Biebs.
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You're gonna go and get angry at all of my honesty You know ISong review, baby, because I can't think of anything to write about. Hit it, Biebs.
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You're gonna go and get angry at all of my honesty You know I try, but I don't do too well with YA Fantasy I hope I don't get angry comments. Can I explain myself? 'Cause I just need three-point-two-five of your time
You know I can overlook the heroine's smart mouth maybe once or twice But once or twice doesn't equal a couple of hundred times Telling your readers she's aware won't redeem, oh, redeem, oh, her tonight 'Cause I just need a little brains in my protags
Yeah Is it too late now to say sorry? 'Cause I'm not feeling the whole Western thing, oh Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I loved The Dark Tower, but not book one Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
I'm sorry yeah Sorry yeah Sorry Yeah, I know Shazad was awe-awesome Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
I'll admit the Amani reveal was great if you want me to But you know you dragged and you lagged like the desert you're always talking about I'll rethink, I'll rethink and then you go, you go out and spill the romance Can she get their priorities straight and forget his muscles?
Yeah Is it too late now to say sorry? 'Cause I'm missing more than a reason to read on, oh Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know that your world-building is cool Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
I'm really not trying to be a downer (oh, no, no) But I really don't give a shit about any character, oh Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know the female friendship was pretty good Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
I'm sorry yeah Sorry, oh Sorry Yeah, the only thing that interested me (it's kinda sad) was Taylor Swift in the acknowledgements
I'm sorry yeah Sorry, oh Sorry Yeah, I know you'll be a hit with others (just not with me) Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
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Just so I don't have to revoke my Cool Kid card, I'm not a Belieber. But Purpose was freaking awesome.
Here's a Taylor Swift gif to restore balance to the world.