This was a short book, obviously put out as a joke to capitalize on the "Dr. Rick" ads from Progressive where he teaches people how not to turn into tThis was a short book, obviously put out as a joke to capitalize on the "Dr. Rick" ads from Progressive where he teaches people how not to turn into their parents. The commercials are always entertaining, and when I saw this book advertised somewhere (likely on Goodreads) and available for free on Kindle, I eagerly dove in.
This is not amazing 100% of the time, but it's entertaining throughout and made me laugh out loud enough that I decided it's worthy of 5 stars. The directions in here were absolutely hysterical at times, to the point where I had to read some of it out loud to share the humor! For example, there's a quiz at the very beginning of this book that asks, "When you pass a construction worker, what should you say?"One of the (wrong) answers is "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?" I started laughing at that point and didn't stop until the book ended.
The sections in here are hilarious, including photos of stances and postures that you should never imitate, how to properly socialize and tell stories, places where it's inappropriate to take naps, and how to fasten accessories to your body. There are "quick tips" in between the chapters with funny tips ("Just because it's free..."). Whoever put this book together did a great job. Nice quick read, absolutely ridiculous, but so funny! ...more
Someone told me how much this book had changed their life, so naturally I had to read it! I don't know if it necessarily changed my life, but it was oSomeone told me how much this book had changed their life, so naturally I had to read it! I don't know if it necessarily changed my life, but it was overall a good book and I can see how helpful this would be to anyone struggling with the kind of issues detailed in here.
I thought the author did a good job of breaking down the main issues that cause people to undervalue themselves, complete with explanations of ranking and linking and how these differ and impact various relationships. In short, the way we interact with others often inspires ranking, thoughts of comparison and how we fall short, whereas linking is trying to find commonalities so relationships can grow stronger and make you feel better about yourself because there is no comparison. There were some good suggestions for how to improve your linking skills in order to better handle situations where you interact with someone and typically are left to feel lesser than you'd like.
The other part I found especially interesting in here was when the author detailed self-protection strategies people either knowingly or unknowingly use to minimize their discomfort or hurt, such as minimizing, and how to respond to these defense mechanisms or overcome them. Some of these strategies are ones I've heard before but hadn't recognized them as a self-protection strategy someone else was employing. There are also some good suggestions for how to respond when you notice someone is employing these strategies, which was helpful too.
Certainly there are a lot of good points and suggestions in here for those looking to improve and willing to acknowledge uncomfortable automatic responses they have and take tangible steps to improve their responses, hopefully changing the way they think in the process. ...more
A friend read this book and thought it had a lot to offer, so naturally I picked it up to see what I thought of it as well. There were a lot of intereA friend read this book and thought it had a lot to offer, so naturally I picked it up to see what I thought of it as well. There were a lot of interesting concepts in here, all based in the concept of mindfulness, and I thought the author did a good job explaining what it takes to make a relationship work and what kind of questions are helpful to ask yourself and a partner, as well as qualities to look for. Not every passage in here was at the same level as far as being helpful and relatable, but most was at least understandable, if not something you could directly take action on. This was more like an introduction to concepts to be aware of, if you're looking for personal growth and hoping to improve your awareness of what you actually want in a relationship and how to actually get there.
The description of each concept sometimes went on a bit long for my taste, and I think it could have been slightly improved had there been more examples of what specifically to think about and how to relate a concept to yourself. But there were great messages in here and a lot of helpful suggestions and tools for how to reframe your thinking, as well as questions to ask yourself in order to get deeper into understanding of an issue or problem. I think if you're looking for personal growth and have a specific interest in what's required to be in a successful adult relationship, this would be a great book to read. It's not all-encompassing, but it's definitely a good introduction and provides a number of actionable, helpful suggestions....more
A friend of mine really likes the author's work on Instagram (which is where she got popular before publishing this), so I decided to check out her boA friend of mine really likes the author's work on Instagram (which is where she got popular before publishing this), so I decided to check out her book, as I tend to enjoy books better than short soundbites (regardless of topic). This was a weird blend of psychology and kind of spirituality, focused on specific steps people can take to recognize patterns in their life and improve their overall happiness.
The purpose of this book is certainly good, but its actual usefulness or helpfulness seemed a bit lacking. The author notes that people are mostly able to gain things out of reflection or with the help of therapy, acknowledging issues, but where they struggle is in what to do with this information and how to do the work to break free from these patterns. I have no doubt that this is true! However, I don't think this book necessarily is much help in finding ways for people to actually do the work. It did talk a lot about the author's own journey to where she's at now, using much of that as background or supporting information. While the author clearly feels strongly about what she shares in here, it didn't always come across as inspirational to me or provide anything especially new to inspire.
A lot of the passages in here seemed to go on and on about the topic at hand, and I ended up skimming a lot of them because they didn't seem especially insightful or particularly interesting. Much of this also seems to assume that whoever's reading it is coming at it from a place of general security, with smaller issues that they want to address, so a lot of the advice and exercises included are about trying to look inward on your own to spot patterns. This is fine and certainly a worthwhile exercise, but it's not exactly groundbreaking and I could have come up with many of them on my own despite not being a trained psychologist.
There was one part I did enjoy, which was about trying to stay in the moment and present and how it's often helpful to take a moment and truly appreciate what's around you, taking everything in with all your senses. The author suggested setting alarms throughout the day to remind yourself at those times to bring yourself back to the present, which I haven't done but think could be helpful for some people. I thought this tip was great and think it's something everyone should do on occasion because it's so easy to get wrapped up in our own minds instead of appreciating what's actually around us. ...more
I've only read one other book by Matt Haig (The Midnight Library), but I really enjoyed it so I picked this up, his latest release. It was definitely I've only read one other book by Matt Haig (The Midnight Library), but I really enjoyed it so I picked this up, his latest release. It was definitely very different! For starters, it's not a novel at all but more like a curated collection of inspirational and comforting stories, phrases, and thoughts that helped the author get through tough times and are now being shared in the hopes that they were help bring comfort to the reader at times as well.
Each "chapter" in here is more like a short story or a new paragraph/phrase/something to chew on. I enjoyed a lot of what the author included and could see how these helped him through the years. While not every single one of them was something that truly resonated with me, I really liked the selections overall and can see how a book like this would be a great gift for someone or a nice book to return to now and then, looking for a new chapter for new inspiration. It was fairly short and quick to get through overall, but I imagine this would be best broken up into multiple chunks over the course of multiple days....more
A few years ago, I read a psychology book a friend recommended and have had a number of conversations with other friends about that book, as it was apA few years ago, I read a psychology book a friend recommended and have had a number of conversations with other friends about that book, as it was apparently fairly popular and made for interesting discussions. This book was recommended as another interesting psychology book, so I checked it out and read it a few chapters at a time. This definitely read like more of a self-help book, aimed at people who are dealing with jealousy, either as the person with these emotions or the person inspiring these emotions in someone else.
There were a few interesting bits in here that I think will make for good discussion, such as the validation of emotions and the history of why jealousy has served people in the past and why it continues to be felt in so many situations. There were also a few notes about ways to reframe thoughts in your head when these kind of thoughts come up, or better ways to respond to someone who is dealing with this.
On the other hand, I didn't find this especially compelling overall and didn't think it truly provided the promised "powerful tools" for dealing with jealousy. Perhaps I was read this expecting a deeper dive into the psychology behind this and a more complete or complex discussion about how these tools help. It felt like this was a basic introduction to the subject with some interesting points to reflect on, but it didn't seem to fully delve into the topic enough to be a definitive source on how to approach this topic if jealousy is actually affecting your life (although it did give a nice baseline for how to start addressing the issue) and there wasn't quite enough for me to feel like this will inspire the same kind of interesting discussions as some other psychology or self-help books I've read. However, this was easy to read and digest and there were a few suggestions for reframing thoughts that I thought were interesting, so it did its job of introducing the reader to new concepts that could prove helpful to readers. ...more
I'd read something else by this author, so this was recommended to me when it was released. It's a fairly quick book to get through, about what overthI'd read something else by this author, so this was recommended to me when it was released. It's a fairly quick book to get through, about what overthinking looks like and strategies for how to reduce overthinking in order to free up more time for happiness in your life.
The concept of this book is solid, and the author did a good job providing examples from her own life where she'd overthought something and how that affected other things in her life. It was nicely put together and while I wouldn't consider this a full-fledged self-help book, it seemed like more of a introductory book to inspire you to start thinking about how to curb these impulses and stop dwelling on previous decisions. Each chapter talked about certain steps that could be taken to reframe thoughts in your head, supported by examples from the author's life or the life of one of her friends, then ended with some questions for the reader to answer about how __ has affected them and what next steps might be viable options.
While there were some nice sentiments in here, I didn't feel this was particularly helpful or deep. The chapters often read like they were about to get the true heart of the book underway, but then it never picked up any further. I felt like many of these chapters were closer to inspirational blog posts than an actual self-help book, which makes me wonder who this book might be best targeted to. I did enjoy some of the sentiments in here and some of the personal stories, but it didn't fully resonate enough with me overall....more
This was on display at the library when I was looking for a light summer read, so I picked it up and figured it'd be entertaining based on the cover aThis was on display at the library when I was looking for a light summer read, so I picked it up and figured it'd be entertaining based on the cover alone. It was definitely a light read, but there were parts I ended up skimming and I didn't get as much out of this as I think I was supposed to. It's written by a relationship coach (I'd never heard of him before but apparently he puts on seminars and has a reality show) and bills itself as a book that doesn't tell you what not to do but tells you what to to do.
The things in here that I enjoyed were mostly about how to better network socially, advice that's applicable for meeting new friends of any sort. I really liked the parts about this, pointing out how every person you meet, even if you don't become best friends or date them, is an opportunity to meet even more people because they'll then invite you to stuff and further expand your social circle. There were some nice suggestions for how to open conversation regardless of whether you're an extrovert or an introvert and simply increase human interaction. This seemed like really good life advice, and I thought these parts were the highlights of the book.
As the book went on, it focused more on dating and there were a number of parts I ended up skimming because it just didn't resonate with me for whatever reason or didn't seem to offer anything especially new. The life advice or self improvement parts were great; the dating advice was meh, so it's too bad that's what's highlighted in the way this book is being billed.
I'd recommend this to people looking for suggestions on how to increase their social interaction and make more friendships, etc. Not life changing by any means, but it was what I'd hoped for in terms of being a light summer reader, and there were some nice takeaways on the social front....more
I was listening to a podcast a few months ago and one of the hosts mentioned in passing that she'd read this book and gotten a lot out of it. NaturallI was listening to a podcast a few months ago and one of the hosts mentioned in passing that she'd read this book and gotten a lot out of it. Naturally, I put it on my to-read list and hoped I'd find it just as interesting! This is written by a husband and wife duo, describing the various types of personalities people have, the types of attachments they form to others due to these traits, and how knowing this style can lead to better communication.
I'm always fascinated by books describing human communication, and I read another book about attachment styles a few months back, so this seemed very similar in a number of ways. The book had a introduction in which someone hyped up the contents and basically guaranteed this book would change your life, and I don't think it lived up to that promise! I did find some of the insights in here interesting, such as the various ways in which people try to cope with difficulties, how these coping mechanisms can sometimes be misconstrued by others or take personally, and ways to improve communication to facilitate better understanding between individuals. On the other hand, the book seemed to lean way too much on how someone's childhood and upbringing affects them for the rest of their life. Also, there was occasionally a heavy religious bent to the advice when I don't think it added anything, as this was not overall an especially religious book (I didn't know this was Christian-inspired when I picked it up and expected more of a strictly psychological text).
While there were certainly parts of this that I found interesting (and clearly there are many readers who found this book helpful!), it wasn't something that especially resonated with me. Some of the communication suggestions were good, but there were too many parts where the authors would give an example of a couple having issues and how they were able to pinpoint the issue almost immediately - always stemming from the upbringing each had. There also seemed to be this theme of how people tend to keep picking similar partners, so you may as well improve the relationship you have now instead of starting over with someone else and changing your personality then.
Overall, this was a mixed bag. The suggestions were good at times and the descriptions of patterns well explained, but parts seemed to be repetitive, the Christian bent in here seemed unnecessary and likely off-putting to many readers (especially as this isn't hyped on the cover!), and it was anecdote-heavy. I'm still not sure how I feel about it being jointly written either, as one of the authors would sometimes say "I" and put their name in parentheses, throwing off the flow (for me, anyway)....more
A friend recommended this book to me, and I thought it included a lot of interesting points for discussion. The focus of this book is how self-compassA friend recommended this book to me, and I thought it included a lot of interesting points for discussion. The focus of this book is how self-compassion (and not self-love or self-esteem) is the way to help yourself prepare for any sort of negative situation in life. This is, in a very simplified way to put it, acknowledging your emotions as valid and being able to better relate to the world as a whole by recognizing that everyone deals with "moments of suffering" and thus not beating yourself up over small missteps or the like.
This book was broken up into chapters, which felt best to read one at a time so as to not get overwhelmed by the information. The content was all interesting, but at times I did feel like parts were slightly repetitive or drawn out simply for the purpose of filling an entire book; it didn't seem like there was quite enough variety in what was shared within the pages to truly make up an entire book. Some of the chapters, especially the earlier ones, were fascinating, while others (mostly the later chapters) seemed to not really cover anything new, making me want to skim them.
There were a number of points in here that I found interesting enough to share with others and discuss. One of my major takeaways from this book is how the cultural pressure to dub everyone as special and above-average has led to an unhealthy drive to be perfect and significantly skewed views, such as studies where 85% of people say they're an above average driver... including people who've recently caused an accident! Fascinating how there is such a lack of real perception and how people believe the narrative they've created in their head despite evidence to the contrary. I liked the author's point about how we're all above average in certain ways, but we're also average and below average in other aspects of our lives and accepting this can help us lessen expectations or clarify perceptions.
Other interesting takeaways from this book include her suggestion to focus on what, precisely, it is you're feeling and to acknowledge this emotion as valid instead of trying to squash it because you don't think you should feel a certain way. I also liked the ways in which she pointed out that everyone has something they've dealing with and how everyone is connected in some way, so recognizing that you're not alone in whatever you're dealing with, and trying to respond to yourself the way you'd respond to a close friend going through the same thing, is something to aspire to. Definitely some interesting food for thought here!
However, as the book went on, I felt like a lot started to get repetitive and the chapters included less and less interesting tidbits and more just suggestions for how self-compassion can help in this situation or that situation, along with descriptions of how it relates to the author's own life. It felt like the book started off much shorter and more chapters were added to include specific situations in order to pad the book. I didn't dislike it; I just wasn't nearly as interested, as there didn't seem to be anything truly new. Also, some of the author's personal stories in here about how she's used self-compassion in her own life didn't truly seem to illustrate the points in here, as she routinely acknowledged the difficulty she sometimes had practicing what she preached and the examples often seemed like superficial problems or ones that weren't necessarily universally relatable. There were exercises throughout the book to help guide you through the teachings in each chapter, and while some of these were interesting (such as the one where you list what you're above average, average, and below average at in order to get a better perspective and accept things as they are instead of as you wished they were...), some of the wording felt awkwardly forced to me, like the way it was suggested to comfort yourself with phrases like, "Poor darling..." Who actually talks like this??
Despite the weaknesses in here, I did find the content overall to be interesting and thus the book worthy of a read. There were some nice ideas in here, and while this wasn't perfect by any means, there were definitely points that are worthy of further discussion or rumination. While this was slightly uneven as a whole, I did like the advice and content and think much of this would be helpful for a lot of people!...more
A friend recommended this book to me after a discussion about how complicated all human relationships are, and I found it quite interesting! The premiA friend recommended this book to me after a discussion about how complicated all human relationships are, and I found it quite interesting! The premise of this is that there are, in general, three types of attachment that people might have: secure, anxious, and/or avoidant. Much research has been done about children being attached to their parents, but the authors of this book took those general ideas and applied it to adults and how an individual's attachment style impacts, helps, and/or exacerbates problems in a relationship.
While much of this book seemed fairly simplistic and semi-obvious, it was presented in a really clear way that made for a lot of good pondering. This wasn't about how to change your style and become more secure, which I liked, but instead of recognizing what might be driving your attachment issues and responding to them in a better way for healthier, more positive, interactions with others. Many of the suggestions in here seemed to go against the typical dating advice you hear, which is basically about playing games with each other; instead, this stressed effective communication and being upfront (especially with yourself) about your attachment style in order to better understand what is going on and why you're feeling or acting a certain way. The advice in here also seemed to go against much of what seems to be commonly expected or encouraged in life - for example, being independent (good to a point, but they note that humans who feel like they can securely depend on someone else are happier and more confident because they're not stressed about their secure base).
Maybe this isn't a groundbreaking or perfect book, but it was certainly an interesting take on what makes people act the way they do and how to better recognize and communicate issues in order to feel happier overall. I liked the approach they took and felt like this was laid out in an easy to digest manner. There are certainly arguments that can be made against some of the conclusions in here, and there are also plenty of things that could be delved into deeper, but this was a nice introduction to these ideas and I feel like there were lots of ideas in here that could help everyone's communication!...more
4.5 stars. I heard about this book on the news, where they made it sound like a study of why girls struggle with trying to be "good", stifling any "ba4.5 stars. I heard about this book on the news, where they made it sound like a study of why girls struggle with trying to be "good", stifling any "bad" emotions to achieve this perfect appearance. The first half of the book is exactly this, giving examples of how girls interact with each other, the pressure from society, peers, and family to be seen as "good", and why many girls do not reach their full potential because of this pressure weighing them down. The second half is full of ways to combat these feelings, aimed at mothers of these would-be "good girls" but really applicable to anyone who interacts with girls or has ever been a girl.
The first half of the book was, at times, very clinical, with many casual examples of behavior and pressure, but it was also very revealing in the ways that girls act to keep up appearances or to prevent unwanted responses from others. The second half was more of a self-help guide, giving exercises and suggestions for the reader to help girls reach their full potential without falling victim to the "good girl curse". My favorite suggestion was the one about formulating better responses when hurt, first validating the relationship, acknowledging the inner feelings, accepting responsibility for one's part, and then wanting to fix things together. (Maybe I'm not explaining this well here, but it makes good sense in the book) The section about how responding to situations based on assumptions increases tension was also interesting and very true.
I agree with the author that girl are under an extreme amount of pressure to be seen as nice, "good" (whatever that entails...), and agreeable, and while these are certainly admirable traits, they also may fuel inner resentment because they keep real emotions simmering - and growing - inside. This book does a great job of recognizing this and encouraging the reader to help change this behavior. While I don't think this will happen overnight, nor do I think that everyone who should be hearing this message will even pick up this book in the first place, it is definitely a good start and an interesting look at what seems to be an invisible problem....more
I don't know if I would have read this book if I had not received it for free, but I did enjoy it quite a bit. I've never read another book dealing wiI don't know if I would have read this book if I had not received it for free, but I did enjoy it quite a bit. I've never read another book dealing with how to eliminate and/or reduce stress in your life, and I think this book did an excellent job explaining ways that stress manifests itself in our bodies, techniques we can employ to reduce our stress levels, and ways to gauge our progress.
There is apparently a whole series of Inner Game books, and the main author is a tennis coach who's used this "Inner Game" technique to help people improve their game on the court. Though this book was focused on stress and co-written with two doctors who give examples from their medical practices, there were a number of instances where the author used tennis as an example, and I imagine that a lot of description of what, exactly, the "Inner Game" means was similar to previous books in this series. That said, I really liked the concept that we all have two selves inside us, one self that can do things and one self that doubts our ability to do these things, which makes us second guess and doubtful. The trick is to properly balance these two selves to get our stress levels in check.
The exercises the author suggests to reduce stress - and therefore reduce or eliminate physical symptoms of stress - seem simple enough, although it would certainly be a challenge to put them all into play and keep them that way. A few tricks in particular, such as writing down all the requests made of us during a day and how they made us feel to determine if saying "yes" to requests is causing one to feel burdened and overworked, seemed like terrific starting points for certain people I know with this particular problem.
I don't know if I'd say there was anything revolutionary in The Inner Game of Stress, but I think it definitely served its purpose of making the reader aware of everyday stress and knowledgeable about how to fight this problem. It was easy to read, concise, and accessible. I did not do all the exercises suggested in this book, but I did think about a few of the suggestions, and they have - so far - all been great. If you feel frazzled or stressed out, this is a book I'd recommend, so long as you actually take its advice to heart!...more