This was a quick read. I finished it in one night. Pamela Wick grew up groomed to be a wife and mother. She was the oldest of three girls and the daugThis was a quick read. I finished it in one night. Pamela Wick grew up groomed to be a wife and mother. She was the oldest of three girls and the daughter her mother intensely focused on teaching how to be woman like herself. A woman dedicated to her husband, children and home, but also involved in charitable and Republican party functions. Nancy Reagan was a good friend of her mother's, since their children went to the same school. Unlike other portraits of Mrs. Reagan showing her cold and aloof, Ms. Wick painted her as a kind, warm woman. This is a story of Reagan Republicans, not the current type.
Mostly, though, it's a story of how Pam Wick's life started falling apart when her marriage appeared to be unsalvageable. Her husband apparently much preferred the company of his best friend than his wife's company. The author walked out and wondered what could she be besides the woman she was trained to be her whole life? Her description of all her fears about being without a husband may certainly resonate with women like her, but goes on a bit too long, and might be much less captivating to readers who have never walked or tripped in her expensive shoes.
Next, the story goes on to describe a job she gets because she is associated with the Reagans, and a scandal involving her father taping phone calls, because her father always liked to tape what people were saying to him. (Charles Wick was the director of the United States Information Agency from 1981-1989.) After the scandal dies down and no legal action is taken against her father, the author has to deal with the terminal illness of a good friend and colleague, as well as a breakup with a boyfriend who had appeared to be her future husband. Finally, Pamela Wick has to figure out what she really wants in life, not what her parents or anyone else wants her to want.
As suggested earlier, it's uncertain if this memoir is going to appeal to readers who did not live the type of life Ms. Wick was living decades ago, and did not have a similar childhood in the same time period. The story is highly readable, however, and moved swiftly, although sometimes there was a bit too much self-absorption. Moreover, it's a story dealing with politics and the Republican party, but is not one trying to preach politics to anyone about anything. The Reagans were family friends and shared happy holiday gatherings with the Wicks, nothing more. The author sees those gatherings and her childhood as happy days, yet unfortunately she still was left highly uncertain about who she was and who she wanted to be in the future. Nevertheless, the ending of this memoir is most hopeful.
(Note: I received a free ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.) ...more
Art Buckwald, Erma Bombeck and Cleveland Amory. Those were the humor columnists I grew up reading, starting in elementary school. Two were in the locaArt Buckwald, Erma Bombeck and Cleveland Amory. Those were the humor columnists I grew up reading, starting in elementary school. Two were in the local newspaper and one was in the TV Guide. The local newspaper was glorious and delivered twice a day, until the Chicago Tribune mafia bought it from the local family that owned it. Down the drain it started going. It became a once-a-day skimpier newspaper, where classified ads and obituary prices rose so high that nobody local could afford to sell anything, find a lost pet, or die. Art Buckwald’s column was dropped . . . jerks! . . . and replaced by the likes of . . . Dave Barry.
Yes, Dave Barry. What do I remember about his columns? Really nothing. (In a box of my childhood stuff, I still have a collection of clipped columns by Erma Bombeck and Art Buckwald, and a whole lot of old TV Guides.) I do remember I thought Dave Barry was funny . . . I think. After he stopped writing his column, I found a book by him in the library and checked it out. As I remember, I only read a little of it because it was not funny. I saw this book at NetGalley and wished for it. My wish came true! (Hopefully, it’s not the only measly wish I get.)
Is it funny? Yes, parts of it. Since it is a memoir, though, it had no obligation to be funny. After reading over 200 memoirs, my requirements for one are low: 1) It can’t be duller than dirt. 2) The author has to show some awareness that readers other than his or her family members and friends may be reading it. 3) It can have no juvenile humor, including bathroom humor.
Well, Mr. Barry’s memoir met the first two requirements. He obviously was not tripping out on the myth that a writer can write a memoir anyway he chooses, regardless of if his life is duller than dirt or not. The third requirement he miserably failed, however. (Yes, you lost a star for that, buster!) I reached the conclusion he and Adam Sandler must be twins separated at birth. The only thing worse than a juvenile spewing juvenile jokes is a grown man spewing juvenile jokes. Dave Barry’s tendency to do so, though, might explain why he has been married three times.
Dave: Honey, would you like to read my newest humorous column about toilets?
Wife #1: No, Dave, I would like a divorce.
Dave: Honey, would you like to read my newest humorous column about toilets?
Wife#2: No, Dave, I would like a divorce.
Dave: Honey, would you like me to clean the bathrooms, including the toilets?
Wife #3: Yes, Dave, that would be nice.
Forgetting the crude jokes, as well as some profanity greatly favoring the “s” word, Mr. Barry takes us on a journey from his childhood in the Midwest to his current days as a sort of retired guy living in Florida. His childhood memories are mostly happy, although he does not hide the fact there were some serious family problems. Nevertheless, he did not try to blame his parents for anything, which makes me remember I have a fourth memoir reading requirement: 4) No mommy bashing. There was a final sad situation with his mother, leaving the author feeling guilty to this day, but he does not dump his guilt on her, as so many contemporary memoirists have done.
Next, the author covers his college years and careers, especially the newspaper years, and how he ended up being a well-read humor columnist. Some of the funniest stuff in this book is the reaction and letters he got from his syndicated humor column readers. He would put the most ridiculous “facts” in a column, only to have many readers writing him dead serious letters that his “facts” were wrong. They must have thought he was from Indiana!
One of the biggest hooplas happened after he bashed Neil Diamond in a column. Well, actually Dave Barry was bashing his song I Am, I Said. (Uh oh! That must have made my junior high school pal Dorothy furious! Yes, that’s you in Malibu!) Personally, I could not agree more with Mr. Barry’s opinion of that stupid song, only I’m guessing since Mr. Diamond wrote it after being in therapy, the term “chair” referred to his therapist who sat in a chair. Face it, it’s a lot easier finding a word that rhymes with “chair” than a word that rhymes with “therapist”. Not to mention, if he mentioned “therapist” in a song, it would seem like he was a Californian, not a New Yorker from Brooklyn, which would have only further aggravated his identity crisis.
On the other hand, I can’t help but agree with some of the angry letter writers who asked: “How many great songs have you written, Mr. Barry?” Yeah, Dave, have you ever written a song like Brooklyn Roads, which was truly one of the greatest ballads of childhood ever written in the history of the human race?
If I close my eyes I can almost hear my mother Callin', "Neil, go find your brother Daddy's home, and it's time for supper Hurry on"
(That’s for you, Dorothy.)
Besides writing funny columns, Dave Barry also appeared on TV talk shows, where he made a fool of himself; played in a rock band no one ever heard of; had a TV series based on his life that had absolutely nothing to do with his life; covered both Democratic and Republican primaries, where he said really dumb things to Barbara Bush; had his first novel turned into a movie that flopped; and did book signings where hardly anyone showed up . . . but not at his book event at Disney World . . . hey, it was at Disney World! . . . not even the presence of Dave Barry could keep readers away from that one! Finally, he also ran for president more than once. That’s funny, I never heard he ran for president even once. I remember Snoopy ran for president at least once. (In a box of my childhood stuff, I even have a bumper sticker which proves that fact. It reads: Snoopy for President.)
So why did Mr. Barry give up writing his column before the Chicago Tribune mafia tried to have it killed? As he explains, you reach a point where you don’t want your entire life controlled by deadlines, and don’t want to have to wonder if everything that is said or done during every day of your life might make a good column. Totally understandable. Even a chair would understand that.
Is this book worth the reading time? For me it was. It brought back lots of happy memories of reading newspapers back when they were delivered twice a day. None of those happy memories have anything whatsoever to do with Dave Barry’s columns, mind you, but I’m sure that won’t bother one of the World Famous Lawn Rangers. (Don’t even get me started on that!) In addition, this memoir helped me to remember how fun it is to write satire. Who better to understand that than Dave Barry? :)
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher.)...more
This is one of those memoirs that tells the author's life story in short memories, one after another. Usually, I am not a fan of such memoirs. One reaThis is one of those memoirs that tells the author's life story in short memories, one after another. Usually, I am not a fan of such memoirs. One reason being I see them as a too easy way of writing, even a lazy way of writing. Another reason is because they are often "free association" type books, which I often find irritating. The bottom line is, though, did the memoir successfully paint a good portrait of the author's life? Yes, this one did. Moreover, it's not really "free association", but narration broken up into smaller pieces. Since Edward Hirsch is a poet, one can expect a freer type of narration.
What do we learn about the author's life? We learn all about his childhood up until he leaves for college. His feelings about the day he left were moving. Short but still moving. He was moving on with his life past all the days and nights in a Jewish family in Chicago, where he was very close to his sister Lenie. Born in 1950, Mr. Hirsch grew up in two of the most exciting decades and had all sorts of stories to tell about those years. Some stories were funny, but I am not sure I fully understand his subtitle A Stand-Up Comedy. Besides his parents and two sisters, there were lots of extended relatives, friends and neighbors, too, which sometimes got confusing who was who. Not too confusing, mind you, but still confusing enough that I wasn't sure at all times who he was talking about.
Whenever I read a book about a poet, I go online and search for some of their poetry. Much of the time I don't like the poems I read. For example, Sylvia Plath's life was interesting and I have read quite a bit about her, but I can't stand her poetry. Edward Hirsch was fortunately no Sylvia Plath. I liked the poems I read and possibly even understood most of them. Also, reading Mr. Hirsch's memoir and poems has made me think I need to write more poetry. Or maybe I'll start a memoir that consists of one short memory after another . . . .
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from the publisher or author.)...more
Reading the description of this memoir might give the reader the idea it is mostly about the author's divorce and the kidnapping of her children, but Reading the description of this memoir might give the reader the idea it is mostly about the author's divorce and the kidnapping of her children, but those two topics are only covered briefly towards the end of the book. Personally, I was glad about that, because long drawn-out divorce stories and custody battles often make tedious reading. This story was anything but tedious, and provided much insight on how wives and women in general were treated in Saudi Arabia.
In the 1970s, Patricia Bonis was a college student at Wellesley College, basking in the freedom college life provided. She could be described as a bit of a wild girl, who was also a bit wild back in high school, and for sure a party girl. At one college party she met a Saudi named Rahman Abbar who dazzled her with his looks, worldliness, money and desire for fun and excitement. Ms. Bonis came from a wealthy family, but nowhere near as wealthy as the Abbars in Jeddah.
After two years of a whirlwind romance, reality began to set in when Mr. Abbar's family was coming to Boston for his graduation. Surprisingly, the author was soon seen as an acceptable girlfriend by the elder Abbars, and was even seen as an acceptable wife if she became a Muslin. Surprisingly, it was amazingly easy for an Italian Catholic woman from New York to convert, and she would go visit Saudi Arabia.
This is when the story really got interesting, because life in Jeddah was shockingly different for women than life in the United States. She would hear horror stories about what happened to various women, and even became involved in an incident that could have got her jailed and worse. Did this highly educated, free-thinking 22-year-old get out of Saudi Arabia as fast as she could. Physically, yes, but she ended up back there after quickly marrying her beloved in Europe.
Why did she go ahead and marry him, knowing they would soon be returning to Jeddah to live? Ms. Bonis gives all sorts of reasons throughout the story, and some are understandable and believable. Marriage proved to be a rocky ride, though, with her husband becoming a hugely different person after marrying. Two children would eventually be born, and what happened after Patricia Bonnis filed for divorce was devastating for any mother. Yet the story ends on a most positive note.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher or author.)...more
While I couldn't live without music; and surely would have died without the radio, records and tapes while growing up; I often find memoirs and biograWhile I couldn't live without music; and surely would have died without the radio, records and tapes while growing up; I often find memoirs and biographies about musicians somewhat uncaptivating. This one by Rita Coolidge was more so than usual. She comes across quite likable, but all the talk about drugs, sex and rock and roll was boring.
Her marriage to Kris Kristofferson was described in a contrary way, too, because he was supposedly the love of her life; yet most of the time during their time together he appeared to be drunk, absent and hostile. Ms. Coolidge probably should have had a more talented co-author for this book, who helped her describe her life in a clearer and more captivating way....more
Memoirs by actors and actresses often bog down in one place or another, but this one by Nancy Kwan did not. It's a highly readable account of her lifeMemoirs by actors and actresses often bog down in one place or another, but this one by Nancy Kwan did not. It's a highly readable account of her life from her birth in Hong Kong in 1939 to the present time. She comes across as very intelligent and very charitable. Not that she didn't provide much needed criticism at times. Ms. Kwan is a clear voice for describing the discrimination against Asians in the movie business and has been that voice for a long time. Interestingly, she had a Chinese father and a British mother, so she is half Asian and at least once had to have her eyes made up in a way for a movie that made her look more stereotypical Asian!
Nancy Kwan started off wanting to be a ballerina, but kismet tossed her into the acting world, and she worked long and hard to be an exceptional and diverse actress. She has acted in plays, television shows, commercials and about 40 movies. Lots of individuals whom she met and worked with are mentioned in this book, including Bruce Lee. (I specifically mention him here because he has fans who will read or watch anything and everything where he appears!) In addition, she talks about her personal life and love life without providing intimate details, which was refreshing for a contemporary memoir.
Maximilian Schell appeared to be her first actor boyfriend and that did not end well. She found him too moody, too jealous, too self-absorbed and too old. When she kindly told him it was over, he picked up the Oscar statue he had won for Judgment at Nuremberg and threw it at her. (A sidenote here: After his death, his niece and daughter revealed the great Austrian actor had far worse psychological problems than imagined.) Ms. Kwan then went on to marry another Austrian and had a son, but that marriage ended in divorce. Later, she would marry a second Austrian, her current husband, and said in the book exactly what I was thinking--her attraction to Austrian men had to be due to a past life!
Sadly, her beloved son died in his 30s, after contacting AIDS from a girlfriend, and Ms. Kwan describes the devastation she felt due to his death. Yet this is still very much a positive memoir filled with good things and happy times. There is no self-pity, no self-absorption, no dwelling on or obsessing about things that would bore the average reader. One feels this book would have made her father proud, and that would be important to her. Nancy Kwan knows what is important in life and what is not, and that knowledge has served her well; has served her fellow Asians well; and has served well everyone who believes race should not determine which jobs individuals get.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC from NetGalley and the publisher.)...more
Stephen Dubner is an excellent writer who pulls the reader right into the story of his large nuclear family's life on a small farm in New York state. Stephen Dubner is an excellent writer who pulls the reader right into the story of his large nuclear family's life on a small farm in New York state. Their lives revolved around the Catholic Church, a religion both his parents converted to before marrying. Both had been Jewish, but it was Catholicism that called to their souls and gave their life ultimate meaning. Mr. Dubner found himself in New York City as an adult, however, and his Jewish roots started surfacing in his own soul. It's a captivating story about faith, organized religion and coming to terms with both family history and world history.
The only big drawback of it is how the author persisted in trying to get his mother to understand his desire to return to Judaism. He is very much like the youngest child in a large family, who is left alone with his mother after all the other children have moved away. No, he didn't still live with his mother when he started exploring the Jewish faith, but he still acted in a way a much-attached youngest child would act. An older sibling would probably have simply accepted their mother believed what she believed, and there was no reason to try to get her to keep reading or hearing about the religion she left behind as a young woman....more
When I first read the description of this book, it reminded me of the marvelous movie Ladies in Black (2018). In the movie, Australian teenager Lisa wWhen I first read the description of this book, it reminded me of the marvelous movie Ladies in Black (2018). In the movie, Australian teenager Lisa wants to go to university in 1959, but her father believes women should do no such thing. Margaret Ann Spence spends a lot of time in this memoir discussing the limited opportunities for women in Australia, before and after the 1950s. Most interesting was her mother's life and how she returned to school after raising children, receiving no support from her husband, as well as facing discrimination from professors.
Her mother's life is only part of the story, however. This memoir covers all sorts of topics about life in Australia. It's a more painless way of learning history than reading a dry history book, yet it wasn't written in a totally captivating way. I had a very hard time getting into it at first. Nevertheless, once the author focused more on her generation and her parents' generation, the reading became more interesting. By the end of the book, I realized I had been pretty much totally ignorant about Australian history, but could now have a reasonably intelligent conversation about the country.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)...more
Author David Brown had a very violent father. His fist, his belt, whatever he felt was needed to discipline his two oldest sons. That's how he saw it,Author David Brown had a very violent father. His fist, his belt, whatever he felt was needed to discipline his two oldest sons. That's how he saw it, too--it was discipline. It wasn't abuse. Strangely, since the author described all the violence in a matter-of-fact way, I soon became desensitized to the abuse. It was expected. It was business as usual in the family. Life went on for everyone. The story was readable.
Until it wasn't. For me, that had little to do with the violence by both Mr. Brown and his father, but all that happened after the family moved to Texas. The more I read about the author's life in Texas, the less readable the memoir seemed. I started skimming big time and ended up skimming until the very end of the book. This is more a memoir for males, in my opinion. The violence, the profanity, the day-to-day, year-to-year life of a boy army brat. It became impossible to stay interested.
(Note: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)...more
The first quarter of this memoir is pretty dull. (No, I'm not a "Little House" fan who only wants to read about the show.) Dean Butler discusses his cThe first quarter of this memoir is pretty dull. (No, I'm not a "Little House" fan who only wants to read about the show.) Dean Butler discusses his childhood, school years, teenage girlfriends, family, ancestry, etc. After all that, he writes about his acting/producing career, including, of course, his "Little House" years. He points out something very important about Michael Landon, namely he wasn't the same man to everyone. To the child actors, he was a protective father figure. To actress Karen Grassle, he behaved like a nasty misogynist, making filthy comments and "jokes". Not surprising since Mr. Landon obviously had mommy issues he had no intention of resolving. Was he ever on any talk show or in any magazine or newspaper article not mentioning his mean mentally ill mother? (That last observation is strictly mine, not Mr. Butler's.)
The author also discusses the age difference between his character and Melissa Gilbert's character in the series, stating their relationship probably wouldn't be allowed today on TV. Why not? Teenagers have been getting married to older guys forever, and his character was only 8 years older. His character was certainly no letch. All the discussion in the book of the first kiss seemed silly, too. Maybe you have to be a die-hard fan of the series to understand all the deep thinking involved in it. At least Mr. Dean was very respectful of the work of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her books, something Melissa Gilbert wasn't in her first memoir. Hence, as "Little House" memoirs go, I would rate his above Ms. Gilbert's trashy one, but below Alison Arngrim's outstanding one.
P.S. Kudos to the author for mentioning the late great Pat Hingle, a character actor who never got the recognition and awards he deserved.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)...more
If you were a kid in the '60s and '70s and watched a lot of television, like I did, you will easily recognize Tim Matheson's name and face. I saw him If you were a kid in the '60s and '70s and watched a lot of television, like I did, you will easily recognize Tim Matheson's name and face. I saw him mostly as a guest star on various television shows, not in movies or as the star of a show. His career started way back on "Leave It To Beaver" as a child actor. No, his mother was not behind his desire to act. She was no stage mother, but someone who saw her jobs as paying the bills, not someone who saw her kid as a breadwinner. Mr. Matheson's parents divorced when he was young, and he saw acting as a way of getting more money for his mother and sister and himself. He would eventually buy a house for the three of them, too.
His memoir covers lots of years and lots of acting jobs. He mentions lots of people he worked with from old Hollywood actors to those of contemporary years. I wouldn't call the book "gossipy", but he doesn't shy away from making some critical observations of others. Yet most of his observations are complimentary. Included, too, throughout the book are "lessons" he learned as an actor and director, which may be helpful to other actors or aspiring actors. Stories about his personal life are not too personal for the most part, and he struggles with defining love and dealing with his childhood issues at times. All in all, a satisfying and informative read by a hardworking character actor.
P.S. My favorite actors have always been the character ones, not the superstars.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)...more
**spoiler alert** While this "novel" by Vera Doederlein Hastie is a true crime story, it is not mostly a true crime story. It's mostly a nonfiction tu**spoiler alert** While this "novel" by Vera Doederlein Hastie is a true crime story, it is not mostly a true crime story. It's mostly a nonfiction turned fiction memoir of Ms. Hastie's family from 1939 Germany to the present. I will confess that at some point in the book I started losing interest in the Germany parts and began skimming. My main interest was what happened to her 14-year-old sister Rosemarie, who disappeared in Montreal in 1954.
It would be 68 years before the author learned what happened and it was indeed a heartbreaking story. No, her sister was not murdered that year, but lived the life of a Stockholm syndrome survivor for decades, never attempting to reunite with her family. It was a devastating story of being psychologically held captive and terrorized by an insane man, and never trying to find her true self again even after he was gone from her life.
Parents warn their children about strangers and about how to try to get away if grabbed by one. Scream! Fight! Bite! They don't explain to their children, however, about how they might not try to get away when they can, especially after being horribly abused. It would be too confusing and fightening to a child to hear of such a thing. We will sadly never know what exactly was going through Rosemarie's mind all those years living as someone she was never intended to be. What we do know are what thoughts were going through the minds of her siblings and parents for decades after she disappeared. That, too, was truly heartbreaking.
(Note: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)...more
Who doesn't remember Cass Elliot back in the '60s and '70s? I have about 20 Mamas and Papas songs on my Sony MP3 player, as well as CDs and records stWho doesn't remember Cass Elliot back in the '60s and '70s? I have about 20 Mamas and Papas songs on my Sony MP3 player, as well as CDs and records stashed away. My mother, back in the 1960s, bought some pop albums that weren't Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. The three I remember most are Meet the Beatles, Here Are the Honeycombs, and If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears by The Mamas & the Papas. While reading this book, I was surprised to learn the group only were together for a few years. It seemed like they were around for years and years, but I guess that was only their songs.
In addition, who doesn't remember that Cass Elliot died after choking on a ham sandwich? Alas, according to her daughter Owen Elliot-Kugell that was not true. Instead of waiting for the autopsy report, Cass Elliot's manager created that choking story so no one would speculate the singer died of a drug overdose. Huh? Her manager did not realize all the jokes that would be made about that since Ms. Elliot was obese? Her weight was often joked about on talk shows and variety shows when she was living. Her death by a ham sandwich allowed the jokes to be made for all of eternity!
Cass Elliot did not die from a ham sandwich or a drug overdose. Her heart gave out. There were no drugs in her system; yet drugs very well may have contributed to her death; and the author is very casual in tone about her mother's drug usage. She readily admits to it, but acts like it was no big deal. Dieting, too, may have contibuted to a fatal heart condition, since Cass Elliot went on some extreme diets in her lifetime. Who is to blame her for doing so when so many individuals around her, as well as in the media, saw her weight as a gross sin?
This book covers Cass Elliot's life from her childhood to her death, with not enough information about her childhood, in my opinion. Couldn't there have been more stories about what she was like as a child and a teenager? The music years were interesting enough, but I often eventually find myself becoming bored with memoirs about musicians and their music making; even though I would have died without music as a child, and can't imagine living without it as an adult. Maybe it's like watching documentaries of how movies were made. I don't want to know how they were made, don't want to imagine how the cameras were set up for scenes and all.
What happened to Cass Elliot's daughter after her mother died? A lot, but fortunately this is not a story about a devastated child who became a devastated adult. The author was raised by her mother's sister and her husband, and came from a line of strong women, as she repeatedly tells the reader. The women in her family knew how to deal with adversity and apparently held no grudges. As least Ms. Elliot -Kugell doesn't. She was the one who brought together Carnie and Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips to form a singing group with the four of them. After getting everyone together, she had to go on a short trip. When she returned, she discovered she had been kicked out of the group, because her singing was too loud!
Was she mad when they became a huge success? Yes, she admits to that, but she remained friends with them, especially Carnie Wilson. (I have no Wilson Phillips songs on my Sony player. Blah.) Nevertheless, the author went on to have a singing career of her own. She, too, would have to hear nasty comments about her weight; by creepy, degenerate Howard Stern; yet she holds no grudge. Like her mother, she has gone forward in life in an iron-will way defying the odds. Unlike her mother, she had to bury her mother at the tender age of seven . . . and forever wish she had returned from that trip to London . . . and her death was only a bad dream . . . .
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher.)...more
Does the world need another memoir about a bad mother? If it's a book like this one, I have no problem reading another such memoir. This turned out toDoes the world need another memoir about a bad mother? If it's a book like this one, I have no problem reading another such memoir. This turned out to be a fast read because it was so well written. Moreover, there is no self-pity and no mommy bashing. In fact, I think Terry Helwig was a bit too easy on her negligent mother!
Part of the author's empathy, though, is probably due to looking back at her childhood decades later. Many mature individuals forget or put aside their childhood anger at a parent, because they come to understand mothers and fathers are humans like everyone else. They are flawed and some are far more flawed than others.
In addition, Terry Helwig's childhood fueled resilience year after year after year. That's no small matter! There was no playing victim or dwelling on being "disrepected". She did what needed to be done to help and protect her many sisters, as well as to gain her own freedom at 18, and that led to her becoming a strong child and a strong woman. It also created a strong sisterhood that still exist today. That sisterhood is no small matter, either....more
Two months ago, the Boston Globe printed a list of "10 great books to read on a New England beach this summer". Like usual with such book lists, I skiTwo months ago, the Boston Globe printed a list of "10 great books to read on a New England beach this summer". Like usual with such book lists, I skimmed it, since such lists often aren't useful to me. (I so often disagree with the opinions of newspaper and magazine book reviewers, and am so glad to be able to read the diverse reviews here at Goodreads.) This book caught my attention, however. It was released almost 25 years ago and I remember watching the Southie riots on the television news, as a teenager.
I was shocked; not because the riots were about trying to stop school integration; but because Southie wasn't exactly in the South. It was a neighborhood in South Boston. There was such prejudice and discrimination in Boston? The home of the Kennedys?" Why did John and Robert Kennedy, two men I idolized as a teenager, never mention that? Why did they make it sound like only southern states had such race problems? Did they not know what was going on in their own home state?
The race problems and protests in Southie were horrible--horrible hatred and horrible violence by both protestors and the police. Author Michael Patrick MacDonald gives the reader a close-up view of those days in Boston during the 1970s and '80s, when a federal judge in Massachusetts bascially took over control of the Boston school system, so it would desegregate, as it had been ordered to do. Since Mr. MacDonald was born in 1966, he describes how an impressionable child viewed all that went on in the neighborhood.
In addition, he writes of what it was like being in a family with 10 children, and having a mother who thought getting welfare checks was a better deal than having a deadbeat husband around. Thus, there was no father figure, except for their grandfather and Whitey Bulger. Yes, Whitey Bulger. He was like the Godfather of the neighborhood and the children in the author's family looked up to him, as did many adults in their neighborhood. He was surrounded by myths, too, such as the one about drugs. Yes, Whitey Bulger was making tons of money selling drugs in Southie, but he was controlling the drug scene there in a way that kept if from becoming really bad, like it was in the black housing projects in Roxbury.
That was one of the main concerns, if not the main concern, in Southie at the time the author was growing up. Southie residents did not talk about their poverty, their drug and alcohol problems, their murders and suicides, their funerals for their teenagers and young adults. They refused to draw attention to those things because those were the problems of black neighborhoods and black housing projects. The people in Southie were predominently Irish and they did not live in the "low-life" way that the blacks lived.
Michael MacDonald would eventually realize the devastation caused by the denial of all those problems. The funerals of some of his siblings and so many other young souls definitely helped him to reach that realization. This book is incredibly well-written and never drags. It neither overshares nor undershares. The author tells about the many issues in his family without exploiting anyone. I was left feeling empathy for them all, even though many of the family members made very bad decisions. This is indeed a great book to read, even when one isn't on a beach in New England in the summer....more
Joan Didion may have been a legend in her own time, but her writing style does not appeal to me at all. Mind you, I've only read her nonfiction and noJoan Didion may have been a legend in her own time, but her writing style does not appeal to me at all. Mind you, I've only read her nonfiction and not that much, but reading her essays or books like this one is like reading a New Yorker article that goes on and on and on. The only reason I read this memoir was because of an excellent Netflix documentary I recently saw called Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold.
Unfortunately, while the documentary painted a clear picture of her life, this book is as vague as vague can be. It was supposedly written to describe Ms. Didion's feelings about her adopted child and her death, but the reader learns precious little about the life of Quintana Roo Dunne and how she died. Plus, there is so little in the memoir about what type of parent Ms. Didion happened to be, as well as how her husband related to their daughter. In the documentary, Joan Didion said her husband writer John Gregory Dunne had an explosive temper that was set off by everything. In this book, there is nothing about that.
Maybe she was trying to protect the privacy of her late husband and daughter, and that is not a bad thing. Doing so left such a bottomless pit of vagueness, however, that there's no reason to read this book unless you are a Joan Didion fan. Or if you want to understand how aging can affect a woman, specifically one left alone by the death of her husband and only child. For me, this will be the last thing I read by Joan Didion. I am no fan and cannot relate to her life or writings . . . except for one thing . . . her blue nights are my blue dusks....more
This was a Kindle Unlimited book that I read in snatches in breaks from reading other books. While I certainly remember My Three Sons from my childhooThis was a Kindle Unlimited book that I read in snatches in breaks from reading other books. While I certainly remember My Three Sons from my childhood, where I watched prime time TV endlessly, I don’t remember even one specific episode of the show, and have never thought about streaming reruns anywhere.
I do remember the characters well, though, including Ernie and Chip. They were brothers in real life, and Barry Livingston had nothing bad to say about his brother Stanley or any of the other characters in the series. Well, he did point out how tight-fisted Fred MacMurray was in real life, but that was already well known, and often joked about by comedians at the time.
The author did say something very disturbing about Raymond Burr, however, after doing an Ironside episode, but part of that was known, although not the most disturbing part of that. This is not a gossip or sour grapes memoir, however. Mr. Livingston did not become a has-been actor after he grew up and was no longer so cute. He continued working in the business and in theatres.
Yes, he had his rebellious drug stage and such, but he overcame any addiction or mental anguish problems. Plus, he happily married and had two children, where he became Mr. Mom, while his wife worked a 9-5 job. This memoir is a lightweight read, that showed not all child actors end up damaged or dead, and was indeed interesting to read in snatches between heavier reading....more
Having read a book about Ruth Handler's life, I already knew the toy/game making world was highly competitive and highly secretive. Author Jeffrey BreHaving read a book about Ruth Handler's life, I already knew the toy/game making world was highly competitive and highly secretive. Author Jeffrey Breslow does not come across as a cut-throat sort of guy, however. Instead, he seems like a man who has lived a very serendipitous type of life and feels no real ill will towards anyone. (That includes towards the mentally ill employee who would have killed him, except for a serendipitous phone call that saved him.) Mr. Breslow also discovered his college major, which totally altered his life for good, because he just happened to be visiting another college to go to a party. It's like the stars simply line up for him when need be.
None of the games he created are games I have ever played, but he does mention other ones I have enjoyed, such as Operation and Mouse Trap. He talks a lot, too, about Marvin Glass, who employed him right after college, and set him up for a prosperous game making career. Mr. Glass was an eccentric who lived a very colorful life, more colorful than the author described, which is good for a memoir of this type. In addition, Mr. Breslow talks a lot about his family life, both as a child and as an adult, and describes his retirement years. Like musician Herb Alpert, he now spends much time sculpting. Sculpting is another way of creating original things, just like creating games and toys.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher or author.)...more
Like Stephen Mills’ recent memoir Chosen: A Memoir of Stolen Boyhood, Larry Franklin exposes his abusive childhood. The story leaves no doubt how psycLike Stephen Mills’ recent memoir Chosen: A Memoir of Stolen Boyhood, Larry Franklin exposes his abusive childhood. The story leaves no doubt how psychologically lingering sexual abuse to a boy can be. In Mr. Franklin’s case, there was also the damaging, disturbing effects of incest. Fortunately for the author, he did not become self-destructive, although he did have thoughts of suicide his whole life. He went on to have successful careers, as well as a good marriage and family life. Yet his buried memories were always there, finally surfacing, demanding to no longer be ignored.
A story like this one will hopefully help other sexually abused males speak out. Even more so than females, they so often deeply bury the memories of what happened to them as children. Doing so can not only cause great emotional distress throughout their lifetime, but also extremely self-destructive behavior. When they self-destruct, no justice is done, and their abusers get away with their abuse. Some abuser sympathizers will then say we need to remember that many abusers, such as the author’s brother, were abused themselves as children. True, but having terrible things happen to you as a child does not give you a right to do the same terrible things to others, not as a child and not as an adult.
Your abused status turns into abuser status when you go on to harm others. We all make decisions every day, starting at a very young age, about how we react to the good and bad things that happen to us. We all have free will. Larry Franklin did not turn into an abuser. Instead, he went forward in life lugging some very heavy baggage. Using therapy, meditation, dream work and this memoir, he is freeing himself of that baggage, which will hopefully encourage others to do the same, in any constructive way they choose to free themselves. They need to speak out, write, do whatever it takes to keep their childhood sexual abuse and memories from burying them alive or burying them in the ground.
(Note: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher or author.)...more
This memoir by Ronnie Spector starts off really well. She talks about her childhood in a large extended family of multiple race mixtures. Her father wThis memoir by Ronnie Spector starts off really well. She talks about her childhood in a large extended family of multiple race mixtures. Her father wasn’t around much, but her mother took good care of her girls and watched out for them. Those years in Spanish Harlem leading up to the formation of the Ronettes were exciting, and the creation and activities of the Ronettes even more exciting. The group consisted of her, her older sister Estelle, and their cousin Nedra. Girl groups were popular in the early ‘60s, and no one wanted success and popularity more than Ronnie Spector.
The next major stage in her life and in this book was about her relationship and marriage to Phil Spector. He was a genius record producer, but a mentally ill person with mommy issues, who obviously hated women, regardless of any claims that he did not. According to Ronnie Spector, she was a prisoner in their mansion, and turned to alcohol out of boredom and unhappiness. They were able to adopt a newborn, as she tells it, simply because they were rich, and Phil Spector later adopted 5-year-old twins, saying they were a Christmas present. Ms. Spector had no knowledge he did that; she was never interviewed for the adoption by anyone; they were just there playing in their front yard one day.
Yes, there was no shortage of insanity at the Spector mansion. That’s where the book starts to drag. There were two many years described of emotional abuse and drinking. At one point, I wanted to stop reading and just leave the unhappy couple far, far behind, not caring what happened to either of them. I kept reading, though, and by the time the twins arrived, Ronnie Spector was ready to flee. She did one day with her mother guiding the way, barefoot no less, so Phil Spector would think she wouldn’t be leaving the grounds. More mental illness and drinking was described after the escape, but no one was more persistent than Ronnie Specter in having a comeback. Nothing made her happier than singing and performing in front of an appreciative audience. With the help of a new caring husband, who wasn’t insane, she also ended up with a happy married life and Irish twin sons.
This Kindle version of the memoir is a re-release of the 1990 edition, but includes additional words Ms. Specter penned in January 2022, the month she died of cancer. Phil Spector was found guilty of murdering a woman in 2009 and died in prison in January 2021. It was no surprise he killed a woman, but a bit of a surprise he actually was convicted, since he seemed to get away with hatred, cruelty and gun waving all of his adult life. Ronnie Specter addresses this somewhat in her final pages, when she talks of how someone seen as a genius is often not judged the way a non-genius is judged. She, too, obviously, was so impressed by his music making abilities, and desired fame so badly, that she stuck with him all those years, a prisoner in a mansion with gates and guards. The warden eventually got locked away, though, while the prisoner eventually freed herself, both physically and psychologically.
P.S. I don't care what anyone says, Do I Love You? is the best song the Ronettes ever released, not Be My Baby. :)
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher.)...more
SundayAtDusk
>
Books:
memoirs-1950s-60s-70s
(80)
