I have tried desperately to get into this book, but I've now started it over for a third time and it's just not jelling for me.I have tried desperately to get into this book, but I've now started it over for a third time and it's just not jelling for me....more
This was one of the books that I'd been waiting months for, ever since it first appeared in The Millions' annual preview in January. As a woman whose This was one of the books that I'd been waiting months for, ever since it first appeared in The Millions' annual preview in January. As a woman whose identity has been shaped by the absence of a mother for much of my life, I'm drawn to unconventional stories about motherhood, and this description definitely fit the bill. I tried to get my boss to snag me a physical ARC at BEA, but he didn't have a chance to get to the right booth. So I was thrilled when I got what seemed to be a relatively last-minute approval on NetGalley. It didn't disappoint.
This story opens when the protagonist, Yejide, has not seen her husband Akin in more than a decade. Now she is nervously planning to attend his father's funeral, wondering how he has changed since she left him. The story than rewinds to the 1980s and the earliest days of their marriage. Having met in college, Akin and Yejide defied Nigerian customs by marrying for love and deciding not to follow the traditional path of a polygamous family. They were happy, but their eventual failure to have a child was all anyone could talk about. Yejide's in-laws blamed the lack of descendants solely on Yejide, and eventually arranged for Akin to take on a second wife. This decision became the turning point from what seemed like a happy marriage to one full of secrets and lies.
I don't think this book is really about the idea that a childless couple may never truly be happy, as I've seen suggested by a few other reviewers. The idea that resonated with me was more about how inflexible societal expectations of motherhood and the pressures that come with those expectations affect us psychologically. Yejide's own mother died in childbirth and she felt unloved by (and therefore grew resentful of) her myriad stepmothers. This obviously informs her insistence on a monogamous marriage and her anger when a polygamous one is thrust upon her against her will. It also informs her sense of self-worth in the face of her inability to have a child and her response to the cruel behavior of her mothers-in-law, who are really just adhering to tradition. In many ways, Yejide's distress comes less from internal expectations regarding motherhood than from external expectations that motherhood is the only way a woman can have value. As a motherless daughter with no desire to become a mother herself, these themes resonated very deeply.
The pacing of this book could be weirdly slow at times -- it's one of those books written in short, staccato chapters that briefly describe a scene before quickly moving on to the next one. It's a style that seems to be particularly trendy these days, but it's also a style that is definitely not for everyone. At one point, though, the pacing was so slow that I started to grow a little bored. But the final 20% of the book was so powerful, so heartwrenching that it more than made up for the first half. ...more
A well-constructed and important story, even though I didn't love the writing style all that much. Full review to come. A well-constructed and important story, even though I didn't love the writing style all that much. Full review to come. ...more
It took me a while to get into this book, but once I did -- wow. The final third of this book is just absolutely mindblowing and I gotta think about iIt took me a while to get into this book, but once I did -- wow. The final third of this book is just absolutely mindblowing and I gotta think about it for a bit before I write a real review. ...more