Son: Whatcha reading, Mom? Me: A book about a jewel thief and an Interpol agent trying to catch him. It's fun. Son: Uh huh. And... Me: Son: Me, in a soft Son: Whatcha reading, Mom? Me: A book about a jewel thief and an Interpol agent trying to catch him. It's fun. Son: Uh huh. And... Me: Son: Me, in a soft voice: and they fall in love... Son: There it is.
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Stupid smart kids! Anyway, this book was cute because neither guy knew who the other was for a long time. They were arch-nemesis's who end up in love and I kinda dug it.
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I have a weakness for heroes and villains falling for each other. Judging by the amount of results I found in my search it seems like I'm not the only one.
The only downside, I suppose, is that it is a little open-ended at the end of the book. It didn't bother me, but it did bother a lot of other reviewers.
Merged review:
Son: Whatcha reading, Mom? Me: A book about a jewel thief and an Interpol agent trying to catch him. It's fun. Son: Uh huh. And... Me: Son: Me, in a soft voice: and they fall in love... Son: There it is.
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Stupid smart kids! Anyway, this book was cute because neither guy knew who the other was for a long time. They were arch-nemesis's who end up in love and I kinda dug it.
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I have a weakness for heroes and villains falling for each other. Judging by the amount of results I found in my search it seems like I'm not the only one.
The only downside, I suppose, is that it is a little open-ended at the end of the book. It didn't bother me, but it did bother a lot of other reviewers....more
This book was being in the head of someone who is really fucked up, and I get enough of that in my own head. I read for a break from that, dammit! I mThis book was being in the head of someone who is really fucked up, and I get enough of that in my own head. I read for a break from that, dammit! I mean, I'm not trying to thought-life-shame anyone, but... geez, I need a drink after dealing with this guy's shit.
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Our main guy is Alex and he is a vet with severe PTSD. He lives with his twin brother after being released from the Army, going completely crazy and living on the streets for a year, and then ending up in a mental hospital. This guy is more broken than a McDonald's ice cream machine.
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Alex gets a job working with an occult shop and ghost tour group in New Orleans because what could be better for a crazy person who thinks evil ghosts are chasing him than doing ghost tours? I guess he's qualified, but is this really the best way to treat his PTSD? I feel like there are better ideas out there.
[image] Not all ideas are good.
The guy he ends up working for, Micah, is also fucked up - so they have a lot in common. Micah has some paranormal PTSD of his own, so the two of them end up helping each other. Kinda. I guess the whole thing is a hurt/comfort trope, but it just isn't my thing.
The other problem I had with the story is that we never really found out what the "big bad" was. As a matter of fact nothing was resolved and questions were never answered. You have to read the next book for answers, I guess. But honestly? I will see you in hell before that happens. And, this book will be required reading there.
Talk about problematic! Sheesh, this book is really strange and full of triggers.
[image] (The horse is named Trigger. He needs help. Stat.)
One of the stTalk about problematic! Sheesh, this book is really strange and full of triggers.
[image] (The horse is named Trigger. He needs help. Stat.)
One of the strangest things is when it is supposed to be set. I would have sworn it was the late 1980's or early '90's because there are pay phones for a quarter, kids playing Pogs, no smart phones and little computer usage, along with serious fashion police moments. The main guy wears painter's pants with a floral shirt to look sexy?
[image] Well, I don't. Also, go shave that rug off your chest. Ew.
The homophobia is also super old-fashioned. Using derogatory terms, being gay is super weird, nobody on the police force is gay, and our hero is fired for it. This stuff is very old-school. And not in a fun retro way.
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The other strange thing is just how Hawaiian everything is. Do people who live in Hawaii really wake up each morning to macadamia pancakes and read a surfing magazine and then head to their parent's house for a luau? (Straight from the book) Or, are these stereotypes trying to shove anything Hawaii related into the pages? Because it was endless. Every single Hawaiian thing you can think of was mentioned. It seemed OTT. Like, I live in Texas, right? But, do I wake up everyday and put on my cowboy boots, eat grits, and read horse magazines before I head out to the rodeo?
[image] Okay, you got me. I'm sitting on a horse right now.
The mystery itself was mediocre. It was pretty obvious from the start whodunnit, but I like police procedurals in general so that part was okay. Also, the MC was a pretty likable guy.
Still, overall I found the strangeness too much to overcome. I hate the gay-bashing and some of the exploitation that went on. Not worth it....more
I've had this book for years and this is the first time I actually got past the first few pages. Here's why:
"Just do it. Fuckin' do it. You can liveI've had this book for years and this is the first time I actually got past the first few pages. Here's why:
"Just do it. Fuckin' do it. You can live with it. You cain't live with what'll happen if you don't, and that ain't no figure a speech. Only takes a second. Two shots. Shut them eyes a his lookin' at you like they see through ta yer bones..."
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Authors: I cannot stress this enough: Don't try to write out accents phonetically! FFS!
Plus, I spent the entire book trying to figure out what this accent was supposed to be. It doesn't work for any accent I've heard. My daughter and I guess that it was supposed to be Southern, but... we are here, in the South, and that is NOT a Southern accent. Not even close. It doesn't flow in Southern, believe me I tried. Even my very British husband, OfJilly, speaks in more of a Southern accent than this. Plus, he never once uttered the word "y'all". I mean, come on! There isn't a self-respecting Southerner in this here Bible Belt that doesn't say y'all. That and the plural form of y'all, which is all-y'all. And, he never was fixin' to do anything either. How can you do something if you aren't fixin' to do it first? You would be vastly unprepared for the task!
[image] This cat is so damn smart! He really knows how to trigger that chick.
My list of complaints about this book will be vast and laced with profanity. So, giddy-up folks cuz I'm fixin' to unload on this fucker.
List of Grievances
1. The accent. As mentioned above. It sucked. Just write the words normally and say there was a drawl or something. It would make reading it easier and probably be nicer for the writer to not freak out their spell-check before it auto-dials the ambulance because it thinks you're stroking out.
[image] Clippy -Man's true best friend. Suck it, dogs!
2. The angst. The hitman guy is supposed to be a shell without human emotions, right? Well, fucking wrong! His shell was fuller than a pinata, but instead of delicious candy that you totally knock over the blindfolded kid who bust it open to get to, you get angst. I mean he was angstier than middle school student with PMS and a hopeless crush on the cutest boy in school. His mental whining was endless. He could easily get a job in hell just by following people around and telling them what he is thinking about.
[image] Yeah, sorry, and hey, will you be my wingman with the hitman dude? I'll take the other guy.... any other guy.
3. The OTT everything. Nothing was believable. Not one thing. I mean, I am willing to suspend belief for books at a normal level, but this one was just asking too much. If you are trying to set-up a story set in modern days with regular humans and a law enforcement deal going on, your artistic liberties can only go so far before they get to be eye-rolling material. Humans just cannot do some of the things we were supposed to believe in this story. Running from bullets, setting a line of gasoline on fire to make something explode? Those things aren't real. They are cheesy movie shit.
[image] Right? It's so dumb. I mean, how many helicopters are out there each day and how many blow up? Very few, right? It has to be very few or else we would probably hear about it. I don't think they are as explosive as movies try to make them out to be. I feel like that would be a problem IRL.
4. It was way too long. I don't need to read 100 pages of them doing mundane shit like making dinner and doing yard work, and then suddenly read a scene from the A Team, and then right back to them dusting the house. Just condense it, please, for the love of all that is holy! I felt like I aged while I tried to get through this thing.
[image] Wow, I really need a lip wax. Unless OfJilly wants to explore bisexuality.. I think I'll wake him up and ask him. He loves when I wake him up to ask him random shit.
5. .... oh screw it. That's enough to make my case. The accent alone was enough. I don't need to mention Stockholm Syndrome, too many long sex scenes, or the fact that the author made HUGE mistakes in writing out those sex scenes. Do your homework on gay porn before trying to write it! The assholes of the world will thank you. Except this asshole. I'm not a fan, y'all.
It was painful to read about a couple of dumbasses that angst over each other for 8 years in secret while spending every day together. And, just one conversation would have prevented it. And what about the alphahole being married to another man?
[image] yeah, you better hold me back! I'm gonna smack the shit out of those bitches.
Sigh
I feel victimized by this book. It was just too much angst and stupidity for me to handle. Am I supposed to cry? Over idiots? What are you trying to get out of me here? Cuz I don't have it - whatever it is.
Look, you don't read a 12th book in a series unless you are seriously invested in the characters and story, and I am both. I loved this latest installLook, you don't read a 12th book in a series unless you are seriously invested in the characters and story, and I am both. I loved this latest installment of Vic & Jacob's adventures! They are an amazing book couple.
[image] Some things are meant to be.
If you haven't read any of the series, the premise is that there are psychic cops mixed in with the non-psychic ones to solve crime better. Victor is a high level medium - which is a good thing except when it isn't. Like trying to drive a car when there are ghosts in the street might be a little tough. Or, trying to walk down the street when a ghost hooker is trying to pick you up can be annoying. So, he starts out this series as a druggie because he is trying to tune the ghosts out.
Jacob is a non-psychic cop who is partnered with a different psychic, but he has the hots for Vic. They meet and the series takes off.
[image] They had a very... interesting... first encounter.... *fans self* (But the sex is a minor part in the series considering how they started.)
Each book is building their world, their abilities, and their relationship. Plus, there is always a case they are trying to solve. And, it is so much fun! Very original world-building and paranormal ideas are happening throughout. The ghosts are always fun.
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This one is about them planning their wedding while also trying to solve a mystery that came up in the last book. There are plenty of intriguing things going on, some ghosts, hilarious wedding prep hassles, and the usual Victor sarcasm that I love.
If you haven't read the series at all, you should think about it, because it is awesome....more
Do you ever want a book just to end before you go around killing people just to do anything other than finish it? Prison time doesn't seem so bad as lDo you ever want a book just to end before you go around killing people just to do anything other than finish it? Prison time doesn't seem so bad as long as I can read something else between things like making toilet wine and a shank out of my toothbrush.
[image] hehe. Prisoner me is funny.
The thing is, the first book was awesome. Read that one and then stop. It was a brilliant "Silence of the Lambs" type of story that kept me on the edge of my seat. It devolved though. By the end I was on a three-legged stool with one short leg that was killing my ass and I couldn't get away fast enough.
[image] It went as expected.
What went wrong: This started as a wonderful cat-and-mouse story with a deranged serial killer and the cop chasing him. But, somewhere along the line it tried to become more of a psychological thriller with a gazillion twists. And, hey, I like twists as much as the next person. I eat pretzels. But, there is a point when they lose their impact. By the end of it I wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out I was the murderer. And, I didn't care.
[image] Or maybe I am too salty. Whatever.
The other problem was the constant movement of locations. Everything became so frantic that you could hardly keep up with who was where and why. It was annoying. And, again, by the end I didn't care anymore anyway.
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My last complaint: it was too fucking long. There were pages and pages of thoughts or someone describing a dark room or other equally unimportant things that should have been edited out so the story was more focused. It was just a hot mess. And, although I am a hot mess by this time in the pandemic, I am not a very patient hot mess. The last thing I want to do is read the rambling ravings of other hot messes.
[image] Except this. Whatever it is - i'm in!
If the books had stayed on track and kept the story of serial killer versus cop I would have loved it.
Yeah, I'm not going to even try to review this. The series blended together enough for me to not remember which book had which event and mystery. I wiYeah, I'm not going to even try to review this. The series blended together enough for me to not remember which book had which event and mystery. I will say that it got better as the series went on and that I liked the side characters enough to start the spin-off series....more
Oops, I think the Oracle-guy shows up in this book instead of the last one. I read them back-to-back and they've blended together. That's what I get fOops, I think the Oracle-guy shows up in this book instead of the last one. I read them back-to-back and they've blended together. That's what I get for putting off my reviewing. So... yeah, at some point an oracle comes into the series. And then other stuff happens.
[image] There, I fixed it. No more confusion possible. ...more
I'm not saying that this book series has a little bit of a soap opera vibe, but it does include murders, conspiracy, an oracle, and an actor who comesI'm not saying that this book series has a little bit of a soap opera vibe, but it does include murders, conspiracy, an oracle, and an actor who comes back as their own evil twin a twin.
[image] Soap opera or insurance fraud? You decide.
So, this book is better than the first because the two mains are past the angst of getting together. Now they are at the stage of being sickeningly in love and it gets pretty schmaltzy sometimes. But, still better than the constant insecurities and picking flower petals from the first book.
[image] Alright, geez! Don't get your book-panties in a bunch.
We start with the murder of a minor character in the last book. Gabe, a cop, gets involved and soon there are more murders and secrets being revealed. That part was pretty decent, but the thing I liked the most was the bringing more side-characters in and giving them dimension. I started to like many of them and could see future books for some of them. And, for the purpose of consistency, they all have plenty of their own angst. Since I don't have much angst in my own life I guess I am okay with fictional people's angst as entertainment.
[image] Wow, that's impressive. I mean, how did she get someone with a wind machine to stand there in case she fell? I need people that supportive in my life....more
It didn't suck. I enjoyed the story enough, and I continued reading on, so..
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The story starts with a meet-hate when our hero, Josh, overhears thIt didn't suck. I enjoyed the story enough, and I continued reading on, so..
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The story starts with a meet-hate when our hero, Josh, overhears the other hero, Gabe, saying that he doesn't find Josh attractive. Not off to a great start. There is a murder, sure, but this bad first impression causes way more angst than the death.
[image] So much angst.
And, Josh plays games - which, not a fan of. He has reasons, sure... kind of. But, he really punishes the crap out of Gabe for making that statement. How dare anyone not find him attractive?!
[image] He really is!
Okay, maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but this book has drama-plus. Still, I couldn't help but like them well enough and the mystery was decent too. I like them better once they get all of the pre-relationship angst out of the way....more
This is all six books in the series put together, so it took me a while to read it. I was completely immersed in the town of Blissville by the end andThis is all six books in the series put together, so it took me a while to read it. I was completely immersed in the town of Blissville by the end and now I realized there is a whole side series focused on other couples - so, I'll be done with the whole thing around the time that we are able to leave our houses again..... you know, like never....
[image] Feeling like you've turned into a dirty, fat, garbage-rat-hermit? I got you, babe! Me too!
But, at least final's week is almost over, right? So.... you know, just going back to reading non-educational books in my pj's instead of learning stuff. It's.....almost different.
[image] I'll have you know that I used to leave my house - maskless - occasionally. I'm too much of a joy to be around to deprive the general public. (*shut up, husband! I am too. Other people have said so! No, I am not going to give you names.*)
So, this book is set in a small town in Ohio, and let me tell you that I greatly admire, while also sympathize with, those who actually live in snow. Like, you do realize there are other places where we get to be warm all year, right? I mean, you're not crazy are you? I'm not sure I believe you. You must have snow-brain.
[image] with a margarita!
The two heroes are Josh and Gabe. Josh owns a hair salon and Gabe is a cop. They know each other a bit, but Gabe had a boyfriend when he came to town and wasn't available. They come together when a murder happens to one of Josh's clients and then Gabe has one of those embarrassing moments when he thinks he says something behind Josh's back but he was standing right behind him. Yeah, I think everyone has done this once in life - or been the one making the shut-up-face at the talker when you see the person behind them.
[image] Hey, I didn't see ya there, buddy. So... how are you?
Since things got off on the wrong foot - like really the wrong foot, there is a lot of obstacles for them to overcome. The angst is a little more than I usually like, but I still stuck with it. I'm strong like that. (*shut up, husband! I am too strong! Everyone thinks so... No, I'm not giving you names! What's with you needing names for everything? Go build a shelf or something. Sheesh!*)
[image] That's right. I'm crushing it over here!
The romance was cute and then became a LOT schmaltzy and OTT in later books. Really, by the end I was vomiting rainbows. But, the best part of this series is how it includes side characters that are fleshed-out and capable of holding up to their own books. Which I'm reading now.
I would recommend this series to those who are dedicated male-male romance readers. Not really a starter series for those who aren't, IMO.
Why did I read the second book when I was meh about the first one? I don't know. Blame it on the lure of free books on Kindle Unlimited. I paid for thWhy did I read the second book when I was meh about the first one? I don't know. Blame it on the lure of free books on Kindle Unlimited. I paid for this subscription, I'm going to read some free damn books.
[image] I make a lot of sense. It might be book-shopping time again. Sorry books on my shelf that I've never gotten around to.
This book starts out kind of cute and funny and domestic. But, it is also boring.... until...
[image] No, I definitely didn't want to watch this movie. So, why is this book ripping it off and making me read it?
yeah, it was stupid. Stupid psychopath who kills tons of people through "games". Ugh! So played. Plus, I am not a horror movie fan. And believe me that you do NOT want to watch a movie with me if I think it's stupid. I heckle throughout the entire thing. My daughter was very unhappy watching "Discovery of Witches" with me. I kept calling them Old Edward and Blond Bella. How did she NOT see it?
So, I guess the moral of this review is: read it if you liked the Saw movies. If not - it sucked....more
This one has a 37 year old cop who was blinded and tortured being all angsty in his house alone and the 25 year old guy with no qualifications sent in to care for him. The younger guy is Felix and he is tiny and adorable with a sarcastic personality. The older guy is hot and broody... 'nuff said. So, they immediately decide that the best way to take care of BlindyMcBroody is to give him sex. And, I have to say, in my experience of being married longer than should be legal (because, you know, the murderous thoughts. They build.) that does usually cheer a guy up.
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So the romance thing came about really quickly and abruptly. Like, no build up or steam at all. But, hey, okay, I tried to roll with it. There was a bad-guy too. The torture dude who blinded BlindyMcBroody is now after the baby twink not-a-nurse.
[image] Back off Chester the Molester. McBroody will kick your ass. As soon as you tell him where you are standing. Then, he'll kick your ass!
The bad guy was a little over the top, the romance was too insta-love, and the funny didn't deliver as much as in many of her other books. Over all, it was pretty meh....more
I'm just saying that if someone tried to kill MY husband and almost succeeded, I would also consider getting a pack of dogs to protect him. This is a I'm just saying that if someone tried to kill MY husband and almost succeeded, I would also consider getting a pack of dogs to protect him. This is a perfectly logical and sane way to keep him safe. How often do you hear about people being murdered with a pack of dogs surrounding them? I bet you said "never", right? That's because it doesn't happen, and if nobody has ever been murdered while surrounded by a pack of dogs, it just science to know that it's because of the dogs.
[image] Protecting the humans, of course. Thank you, science!
So, yeah, someone wants to kill Jackson and this freaks Leland out a bit. He does what he does best: kill everyone and let God sort it out (after getting the dogs, of course). Gosh I love him!
This book was hilarious and adorable while still having enough bloodshed that it made me happy. Now, I need to go wake up my husband and tell him that I have just had the best idea for home security. He loves when I wake him up with my ideas!
[image] See? Nobody trying to kill these guys. This is going to be great!...more
I admit that I have read four more books since I finished this one, but I know you all need my review because of how informative they are. Yeah, I couI admit that I have read four more books since I finished this one, but I know you all need my review because of how informative they are. Yeah, I couldn't type that with a straight face.
[image] I get that a lot. I've made peace with it.
So, reviewing my Kindle notes.... This was hilarious. The humor is OTT and often silly and dirty, but that's kind of my personality so I guess this series is like my soul-mate? Sure, that works, although I'm not sure any book series deserves that kind of treatment. My soul isn't exactly the cleanest of things. If you attach something to it you are basically throwing that thing into a gutter.
[image] Hey, you asked for it.
In this one there is another hitman out there killing and giving the credit to Leland, who doesn't kill anymore. I guess this guy is the pinch-hitter of murdering. (Shit, my husband is torturing me with baseball these days. Why can't he just stick with soccer like a normal British person? I married him for the no-American-sports thing and the fact that David Beckham was playing back then. How dare he change it up after all these years? Sure I read while he watches, but it's obvious from my metaphor that something has made its way into my brain so I'm deeply offended!)
[image] This is the most realistic thing I've ever seen.
Leland and Jackson try to figure out who is copycatting while also adding new things to the "sex dungeon" that Leland named the basement. He also has a room dedicated to his guns, called the "gun shrine". I am thinking this guy should get into the interior design business. He missed his calling.
The book was funny and fast-paced with all of the ridiculousness that I was expecting after the first one. Here's a quote:
When Leland mentions putting aerial silks in the sex dungeon (*shrugs* like Cirq de Solei I guess?):
Jackson: It's going to be like trying to plug an electrical cord into an outlet while swinging through the air."
Leland: "ooh, talk dirty to me some more."
Jackson: "That's all I got. The well is dry."
[image] Well, the holidays are just around the corner....
There also may or may not be a Sasquatch role-play game involved....more
Okay, now if you love humor that is so ridiculous and OTT, you'll love this series. If you can't handle silly humor, stay away. This one cracked me upOkay, now if you love humor that is so ridiculous and OTT, you'll love this series. If you can't handle silly humor, stay away. This one cracked me up. I'm okay with snarky-but stupid- humor. And, I loved the craziness involved. Weird and inappropriate humor is one of my things. I've was called "weird" when I was young, and now that I'm old I am called "eccentric", so I get it. (Eccentric sounds so much better, doesn't it? I guess if weirdos make it to old age we get that badge of honor.)
[image] But if I stop taking my not-crazy-pills the voices will come back! Free Spirited it is!
So this book is about a private investigator who ends up getting the attention of a hitman when he climbs a fence near the home of where the hitman is staking out his next kill. The PI, Jackson, makes a critical error in his climb and his pants get pulled down by getting stuck on the fence. Now, he must have one hell of an ass because Leland, the hitman, is captivated. It was love at first moon.
[image] Oooh, where can I find those pants? Jason and Freddy have a lot of dimples, right?
Having a hitman decide he's in love with you could be problematic. Luckily for Jackson, Leland is absolutely insane. I mean, "lucky" is the word I would use. Who wants a sane person to fall in love with? I was just reminding my husband the other day about the time we went to the car wash and the attendant asked him what scent we wanted for the air freshener and my hubs asked him with a straight face if they have urine-scented. I laughed like a madman while the attendant looked at us like we were on drugs (we weren't). Ah, good times. I spent most of my marriage walking behind my husband saying, "he's just kidding" and don't regret a moment of it. Of course, his accent is so thick that half the time people have no idea what he said anyway, so I guess I could have saved myself the trouble. But, that bewildered look when someone isn't sure what you said, but it couldn't possibly be what they think they heard? I've seen that look more times than I could tell you.
[image] That's the one!
So the great romance between Leland and Jackson begins. And, it's glorious! They are also solving a mystery, but the craziness takes center stage for me. I want to live where they live.
[image] Oh 2020. You have really done a number on us. ...more
I was ready for that to end. I mean, it's nice that we got all of that closure on the past, but did it need to take sooooo damn long? Seriously. We haI was ready for that to end. I mean, it's nice that we got all of that closure on the past, but did it need to take sooooo damn long? Seriously. We have heard over and over (and over) again about the bullying and crap that happened in these guys' past, and they seem to put it behind them. Every book. But, now we get an overly long book to dredge it all back up again and analyze it until even a shrink would say "move on, already! I don't even want your money anymore. Just get over it and live your life!" Hahaha, just kidding. No shrink would say that.
[image] That's true. Only the rich can afford to be mentally ill. Lucky bastards!
The other thing I hated about this book, aside from the loooongness, was that there was torture that also went on forever. I mean, that was torture of its own. I'm not a fan of torture, but if you're going to do it, can you at least make it fast?
[image] Yeah, like that. He lost an appendage and got on with his life. Also, where can I find this magical work of art? Netflix?
And then there was the angst. I was hoping for more torture more than more angst. I mean, if I had to choose.
[image] Yes, we know. We all know. Now go dress like a big girl, with those big girl panties, and get over it.
Anyway, it's over. Thank you, Jesus.
[image] Yeah, that, and thank you for ending this series....more