everyone's mid year book tags did guarantee i will be reading this before the end of 2025 loleveryone's mid year book tags did guarantee i will be reading this before the end of 2025 lol...more
“It struck me as I looked over the injury, the print at the deepest part turned blurry and smudged with fluid, that it was a hopeful thing, tending to your wounds, assuming you would be around to enjoy a time after they healed.”
don’t sleep with the dead is a companion novel to the chosen and the beautiful , which is a reimagining of the great gatsby, yet in this story we follow nick carraway and his journey of coming to new york in 1922, where he is a columnist for a local paper. this book actually opens up with him in an alley, with a bunch of other queer people, while they are being held and harassed by police. but nick is able to escape thanks to a fire and maybe also thanks to jay gatsby, too. but that simply cannot be, can it?
this is a story about magic, both with paper and with life. this is a story about creating, and destroying, and how those things can sometimes feel just like one another. this is a story about choosing yourself, and the ones you love, for better or for worse, and continuing to choose over and over. i really adored this, the writing is beyond words beautiful, and i think i will always just be a sucker for a story with a deal with a devil.
trigger + content warnings: talk of war (wwii), talk of death, police brutality (targeted at queer folk), homophobia (negative light), fire, insomnia, blood, gore, vomit, hurting a wound more / self harm, one sentence mention of a pandemic, assault / physical abuse, abuse of power, talk of rape, talk of death of pregnant person, a lot of talk of suicide, and sexual content
“Everyone wants Asian girls to look pretty. No one wants them to talk.”
before i type anything - please ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“Everyone wants Asian girls to look pretty. No one wants them to talk.”
before i type anything - please know that this is a dark story, and i do believe that if you are asian this book is going to be even more difficult to read. this book (and review) discusses hate crimes against asian people during the peak of covid here in the states. just please use caution going into this book and make sure you are in an okay headspace to read about that. and i hope you are able to pick this one up, because it is for sure a favorite of 2025 for me.
this story is about a biracial girl named cora zeng, who has always felt not “chinese enough”, yet people have always shown her that she also isn’t white enough. and in april 2020, on a subway platform, when the world is feeling already empty, her sister is murdered right in front of her. then the story jumps to august of 2020, where cora is trying to learn how to live without her sister and how to carry her grief when she feels so extra alone. she does get a job to be part of a crime scene cleanup crew in chinatown, and soon starts to see a pattern with asian women being brutally murdered, and wonders if there is potentially a serial killer doing this. and on top of it all, she thinks she could potentially be seeing her sister’s ghost, who seems very hungry for something.
the hungry ghost festival / ghost month is celebrated sometime between july, august, and september, and it is the first day of the festival when she sees this ghost. with the help of her friends, and her amazing aunt, she tries to figure out what is going on in nyc and what is going on inside her mind, too. and hopefully she can before the last day of the hungry ghost festival.
again, this is a really hard book to read at times, but i really loved it. i think it’s powerful, i think it’s so beautifully written, i think it’s going to help a lot of people see what it can feel like to be a child of immigrants, especially when you’re trapped in a country that will never let you forget it, during a pandemic they blame on you to excuse their racism and hate. to me, this book is ultimately a story about a girl who is just trying to find peace. peace with her grief, peace with her family + identity, peace for her sister and all these other asian women who never deserved what happened to them.
cora’s identity meant a lot to me, because my dad is asian and my mom is white, and that really is a rare asian american biracial experience for me to read about, even in 2025. also, it has gotten a lot better as of 2025, but i was really struggling with health anxiety induced ocd after 2020. the scene with cora going to the optometrist? that was truly me the last couple of years, with so many different kinds of doctors, and i would never wish it on anyone. so i just really wanted to write a little extra paragraph saying that i loved this book for so many reasons, but i also felt seen in many different ways that i was not anticipating.
in 2021 the world read about (and watched) a filipino elder being brutally beaten in new york while she was just trying to get to church. and i know that’s just one heartbreaking real story among so many during this time of a surge in these racially charged hate crimes, but i read that story over and over, while feeling so nauseous, with so much fear, for my devout grandma, who is also an immigrant from the philippines. and while being across the country from her, and the rest of my family, unable to do anything, unable to even pretend i could protect them. and i know so many asian americans have stories like this, some that have stories like cora’s and yuxi’s. and i wish i had better words to use here, but i don’t. especially with the racially charged escalation from our leaders, because of the protests going on in la right now, that are terrorizing and breaking apart more immigrant families and communities. but some people would rather close a glass door, look out, and pretend not to see the blood right in front of them. and then also pretend that their hands are now not covered in blood, too.
trigger + content warnings: graphic and detailed descriptions of violent hate crimes against asian women, racism, slurs, fetishization of asian women, grief, loss of loved ones, covid, the pandemic, murder, death, gore, unwanted touching, assault, health anxiety / ocd, intrusive thoughts, spider imagery, abandonment, cult mentions, drinking, talk of zionists, talk of nazis (in a negative light // of of these things in a negative light!), police brutality mentions, gun violence, talk of institutionalization, snuff videos and pictures of really graphic and disturbing crimes against asians, car crash, talk of child abuse and death, fire - this book gets really dark, please use caution and make sure you’re in a okay headspace
i feel like all i do it preface my reviews now, but the early reviews for this make me feel insane so - 2 thiARC provided by Orbit - thank you so much
i feel like all i do it preface my reviews now, but the early reviews for this make me feel insane so - 2 things really quickly: 1) tessa is one of my favorite authors, and no one can write the way she makes me feel with her writing, so maybe i am a little subconsciously biased and 2) i do think that you will enjoy this story more if you have already read night shine and moon dark smile, but this story stands on its own and is the start of something new!
okay, insanity rationalizing aside, i really did love this and i found it so unique. architects in this world weave magic that involves creating alteration on the human body, and it is very illegal in this world that is dictated by those who worship certain gods. our main character, iriset, finds herself at the mercy of those who rule, because her father has been taken captive, yet she has learned a thing or two from working under her father while he was a crime lord with a very powerful system who still believes this magic shouldn’t be outlawed. iriset soon finds herself at the heart of this empire, working as a handmaiden to the princess, because they want to keep her close. but maybe being close is what she wanted all along, especially when the prince, and his bride in waiting, have caught her attention in all the ways. and maybe rebellion is the only answer, whether it’s forced or chosen.
i do recognize that it does have dense writing, and you really have to patiently wait for the dots to start connecting, and that the plot can feel slow while you are waiting. and that was truly my complaint, too, up until you hit that 50% mark and then i was inhaling every page like i didn’t trust my next breath. you want angst? you want yearning? oh my god, i am shaking just typing this.
another reason why tessa is one of my favorite authors of all time, is that i am obsessed with the way she discusses gender and sexuality (and fluidity that they can be) in her stories. to me, this really felt like the pansexuality anthem i desperately needed to read this pride. And i just respect (and loved) everything about gender and sexuality within these pages.
i really also loved seeing iriset being who the world has forced, and continues to force, her to be. all these different interactions, and how there is beauty in that, even when recognizing how hard and unfair it is. also, a common thread i have really been easily seeing in all my favorite books these last few years, is the central plot of “empire” and how the word always unapologetically destroys.
i loved this, i recognize it is slow, but i still loved it. and I respect it, so very much, and i am so happy it is out in the world! and if you have similar reading tastes to me, i highly recommend it. and i absolutely cannot wait to feel really insane when i get the honor of starting book two!
trigger + content warnings: war, spiders / insects, talk of animal death, prison, captivity, brief mention of the word rape, cancer mentions, talk of cults, misgendering (in a negative light), racism, slavery, talk of labor camps + refugee camps, talk of mass murder, executions / murder, death, anxiety, blackmail, loss of loved one (father), talk of cycles and pregnancy, a lot of sexual content (this is a horny book lol)
after a tragedy hit yeva’s home, they were sent away to their uncle’s guild, to fulfill their destiny to beARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
after a tragedy hit yeva’s home, they were sent away to their uncle’s guild, to fulfill their destiny to become a legendary dragon slayer, who will never be able to show their face! but our story really starts when yeva is on a mission to investigate queen sookhee and find out secrets about dragons at any and all costs! but obviously the mission does not go as planned, romance ensues, and yeva starts questioning the expectations of their father’s people, while also having questions about where their mother came from.
i love the conversations around the fluidity of gender, i love the discussions on biracial identity and colonization that you can very much be born into, and i loved the themes of masks and how we all wear them at times. and i just really loved seeing a queer disabled mandalorian doing cool things and falling in love, and i really hope that we get more stories to follow.
lastly, i really do believe that your culture's rice porridge does in fact have magical healing properties! (arroz caldo, i love you)
trigger + content warnings: death, dragon death, talk of colonization, blood, parental abuse (off page), talk of a blood disease, loss of parents in past, grief
this story starts out on a rainy day, when sylvie is traveling with her soon to be ex-boyfriend to scotlandARC provided by the publisher via Libro.fm
this story starts out on a rainy day, when sylvie is traveling with her soon to be ex-boyfriend to scotland, where said ex wants to show her a big isolated manor where a family heirloom is being stored. she goes inside, because i guess that’s normal, and quickly discovers that it is not abandoned, and then she goes back to the states where she is in desperate need of money from her abusive rich artist parents who are cutting her off. but then she gets an offer from the sister of the man inside that manor in scotland to go back, marry that man, make it work for a year, and get 10 million dollars. yes, you kind of have to suspend your disbelief a little for this one.
i know that all sounds somewhat insane, and you are correct, and obviously you can tell by the rating that i didn’t love this one and it just didn’t work for me in any aspect but one. and that one aspect is that the man in the manor is very much struggling with his agoraphobia and i actually did like how the author handled that a lot - both in the depiction, but also in the discussion on sometimes you really need therapy to work though stuff. truly, i did love that. but besides that, i would have never actually fallen in love with that man because of his name calling. and i don’t know if that's a cultural thing or not, but it was not for me. and he just had a lot of unresolved stuff with one of his besties, who i’m sure will get a book in this series, but it still didn’t feel good to read.
but yeah, i liked the end of this, but i sadly didn’t like much else. but i also 100% recognize that maybe it’s a me thing, because i just never liked this guy as a love interest, and that’s an important thing while reading a romance story. also, i feel like 2025 is the year that i am realizing that i am just over reading about nepo babies, even if their parents are horrible.
trigger + content warnings at start of book: Keep Me is a sexually explicit romance with elements of kink and BDSM-to include exhibitionism, partner swapping, impact play, and bondage. There is no use of a condom in this story. As always, my books are works of fiction meant to serve as entertainment and should not be used for instruction, but rather, inspiration. Should you and your partner(s) choose to explore the practices in any work of fiction, please do your research first. Be safe. Have fun. Please be aware there are also elements of parental neglect, cheating (not between main characters), alcohol abuse, death, PTSD, and agoraphobia in this story. Read with caution.
additional trigger + content warnings i found while reading: abusive relationship, talk of loss of parents in past, talk of addiction in past, abandonment, smoking, drinking, blood, depression, anxiety, panic attack, bee/bee sting, one sentence imagery of cancer, talk of car accident in past, and a mention of parents having their 16 year old daughter pose maybe naked for a picture for artists (i don’t even know but it gave me the ick), and i want to extend the above warning for cheating because once is on the fmc by her ex and the other is not on the fmc but still happened with the mmc (and does not get resolved)
“When the sun shines at night, he who will bring an end to war on this land shall be victorious. He shal
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“When the sun shines at night, he who will bring an end to war on this land shall be victorious. He shall be an heir, twice over, and a rightful sovereign over the continent.”
this is a story about a 25 year old princess who has grown up in a world that feels like her twin brother is the prophesized hero. yet, our princess, briony, has had to help him with his magic all throughout their lives. in this world there is mind magic and heart magic, and depending where you pull your source from, you can form a bond to help give magic. and this is something that the magic users on the other side would like to weaponize for themselves, but there are laws in place to make that illegal. there are also magical animals that you can bond with to help your magic powers, too! and this book truly starts out with the world learning about a new leader, who has bonded with a dragon who hasn’t bonded with anyone in 600 years, and she brings war to the land, and allows her followers to lay claim to power that was never intended for them. through slavery, captivity, and immense abuse.
and briony is very sought after for being the daughter of the king and for having a great well of magic inside her. her family is killed inside the walls of her castle, she is captured, and auctioned off to wealthy magical men, alongside her friends whom she has grown up with. and toven, who she has had a bit of a rival infatuation throughout school with, is one of those men in the audience bidding on her, her body, and her magic.
i do think this start of this story does stand on its own, and has taken a lot of care to attempt to divest itself from the cursed nostalgia ip. i truly think there will be people who will pick this up and have no idea that it started as a fanfic, especially the last half of this first book. But it does follow, almost story beat for beat, scene for scene, the original material (especially that first 50%) - which i think can be a positive or negative for readers who have previously read the fic. For me, it didn’t feel as much fun to read as i wish it did, and i think that obviously impacted my reading, but i for sure left this story how i felt leaving the fic at this point, which was just meh. so, for better or for worse, i think you should go into this book expecting that.
the only thing i will say that felt lesser to the fanfic was that i cared a lot less about the side characters. even though julie soto has really made strides at rewriting this world, the big bad, and the conflicts within this story, there just isn’t enough time or pages to write about every relationship with the main characters and their time with the side characters. which, with the fic, you extra didn’t need because most of us have grown up alongside these original characters.
overall, this really feels like a true 2.5 read for me, just right in the middle where i didn’t really dislike anything, but i also didn’t really love anything. and i won’t be continuing on with this series. i didn’t love the fic, so i really should have known better, but i was curious, and received an arc in my email, and here we are with a lackluster review. but the epilogue was for sure the best part of this story, and felt very new and fresh, so hopefully for the last book you all won’t have to read 100+ pages of courtroom discussions.
trigger + content warnings from the author: explicit sexual content, mentions of non-consensual sex, sexual assault, sexual assault of a POV character, buying and selling of humans into captivity, forced sterilization, forced termination of a pregnancy, minor character deaths, suspense and violence, torture and gore
additional trigger + content warnings i found while reading: loss of family / loved ones in past, talk of loss of mother during childbirth in past, insinuation of magical animals being experimented on and death, blood, forced medical examinations, murder, misogyny + sexism, talk of weight / body image very briefly, grief, depression, slavery, captivity, self starvation, drugging, execution (which is still as insane as it was in the fic), self harm to get blood, injured animal companion (fox)
“It hurt so much, and I wanted the pain to end. But more than that, I wanted someone else to pay for it.
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“It hurt so much, and I wanted the pain to end. But more than that, I wanted someone else to pay for it.”
this book opens up with alma being only 11 year old, living in immense poverty, trying to help take care of her sick mother, and she only has her imaginary prince friend to keep her company. but her father is a powerful aristocrat, who had alma out of wedlock, and agrees to help her and her mother, as long as she comes and lives with him. in this part of the world, there are four houses, with four gods, that people worship and give their prayers to. and alma is whisked away by her father, and brought into this world and his house of the beast, where she is offered up to his god at a sacred temple. and that is the start of alma’s eight year journey of revenge against her father and this family, and alongside her is the imaginary prince, who maybe isn’t as imaginary as alma originally believed.
i don’t want to say anything else, and maybe even that opener is a little more than you needed, but i really enjoyed this debut with my whole heart. i loved the discussions of power, and the cost of power, and how some people are really willing to pay anything. i really respected the themes of abuse and revenge and how those two things can shape us, in so many different ways - especially with the depictions of different types of manipulation throughout this story. and i was really moved by the reminder that we will always be so much more than a vessel for someone else.
also, the author is an illustrator, and oh my gosh the illustrations throughout this are just perfection and add so much to this dark powerful tale.
trigger + content warnings: sick mother, loss of mother, grief, abuse, gore, blood, forced amputation, violence, drugging, child sacrifice, abandonment, killing of animal (bird) in past, manipulation, grooming, power imbalances, spiders, attempted forced surgery, battle, vomit, death, murder
i feel like right now i am just craving queer scifi stories - and most of the time, they end up being new favorARC provided by TOR - thank you so much
i feel like right now i am just craving queer scifi stories - and most of the time, they end up being new favorites! so when i heard sapphic scifi murder mystery i knew i had to get my hands on it. and friends, i loved this a lot.
this is the start of what i hope and pray will be a new series that follows a spaceship and the adventures taking place on it. and the fairweather is an extra cool ship because it has a library that holds a copy of every passenger’s mind. so whether you are living with your physical body on board, or digitally getting rest on your shelf while you are waiting for a new body, the book of your mind is being stored, and you are able to update it.
and this story starts out with dorothy gentleman waking up during a magnetic storm, sooner than expected, in a body that is not hers. she is also one of the ships detectives, and it has been two years since she went into rest mode! but now she has four items on this new body, and the ship quickly quickly informs her that there is a dead body in a passenger cabin, so it’s time for her to start investigating what is happening!
i really did adore this. it’s beautiful queer, extremely heartfelt, with conversations about autonomy and community, and so so very immersive. i truly felt like i was right beside dorothy, navigating this ship, exploring all of these neighborhoods and different places on board, and meeting so many passengers. i would happily read 100 more novellas following dorothy and more adventures on the fairweather.
trigger + content warnings: talk of death in past (sibling / parent), talk of dementia, talk of dementia caregiving in past, death, murder, attempted suicide kind of / kind of accidental, minor talk of abuse in a relationship
i hate comparing books with similar stories, because no author owns a concept, but my true, very basic thouARC provided by the publisher via Libro.fm
i hate comparing books with similar stories, because no author owns a concept, but my true, very basic thoughts upon finishing this book is that this is a not as good version of evelyn hugo. and i really hate saying that, i really do, like it pains me to type it, but it’s the truth.
this is a story of an old hollywood heiress, named margaret, who disappeared from the spotlight many years ago, and who is now ready to tell her story. yet, she has two authors to pick from. alice, who was able to track down margaret thanks to an anonymous tip, and who feels like this opportunity would mean so much to her because her late father really loved margaret’s late husband's band. and then there is hayden, who has won a pulitzer prize for another memoir that he wrote, and knows this would be an amazing opportunity to write another book celebrating someone’s life.
margaret wants to figure out who would be the best author to tell her story on her terms, so she makes an agreement with both of them to stay on the small island she has been hiding away on, and alice and hayden will split up the days interviewing her and hearing her story. yet, again, this is a very small island, so alice and hayden are able to begrudgingly get to know each other as well, even though they are both vying for the position to write this book.
margaret’s flashback chapters were truly what kept bringing this book down for me. and this will be my only comparison discussion on evely hugo (with a caveat that i do feel different about that book in 2025, even though it meant a lot to 2017 melanie) - but reading about a queer biracial mc who came from nothing was a lot more enjoyable to read than a white nepo baby, i am so sorry! not that i didn’t have empathy for margaret and her life! so not only were these chapters boring, but they just always felt lacking. and there is another twist that i just knew would happen, because i have read evelyn hugo lol! ahhhh, if i could have stayed on this little island with alice and hayden and their romance, and even all the other residents, i would have at least given this book three stars!
i will say that there is a beautiful message about cherishing life and the ones you love in it, every single day you are lucky enough to be able to. there is an immense amount of the feeling of grief throughout this book, but there is also a great feeling of all the love that comes with navigating through it. i will also say, one thing about emily henry is that she will make me cry when she drops the title of her book and great big beautiful life was no different. i am very curious about how this book will be received upon publication, and i do want you to take this review with a grain of salt, because i do think that i was my own worst enemy constantly comparing it to another book while reading.
trigger + content warnings: talk of bad parenting / parents not being good to their kids, talk of cults, talk of dementia, a scene of an unwanted advance + touching, a lot of talk of loss of loved ones, grief, bullying and abuse in past from a mentor, abuse of power and manipulation from a mentor, a lot of talk of body image involving weight, extortion / blackmail, talk of infidelity in past (in a negative light), anxiety, paparazzi, talk of plane crash in past, one sentence mention of cancer in past, talk of car crash in past, a lot of talk of child illness in past (they are a healthy adult now), mention of health anxiety and/including ocd, crowd crush, blood, sexual content, pregnancy
i have a great deal of happy nostalgia for this author and their series that probably very much impacted me ARC provided by the publisher via Libro.fm
i have a great deal of happy nostalgia for this author and their series that probably very much impacted me making a goodreads account. like, i feel like kmm and the fever series helped raise me, and i still think that barrons books and baubles is a top five favorite literary setting to this day. so when i hear that they were publishing a new pnr world, i knew i had to get my hands on it asap!
this brand new start of a series follows zo grey, who is 24, and trying to scrape by in a small town in louisiana. not only is she trying to make enough money to get by on, she is in immense medical debt, while also taking care of her mother who is getting more ill as the days go by.
i just want to make a little paragraph too that says i’m a human before i am a book reviewer - you can tell this book is immensely personal to kmm and the depictions of grief feel very real and heartbreaking. i am sending all my love to her and her entire family. (please check my tw/cw below, this book actually does center on the hardest thing for me to read and review, so please use caution)
but the book truly takes off when zo goes to discover a new town, with an inheritance from a family member she has never met before. she and the reader are both learning about the magic that was always hidden, while also exploring this old house and the different staff she now has to also take care of. oh, and the town over is kind of creepy.
this is really a story about community and finding your way in the world when you have always felt lost. it’s about love, and grief, and how those two things can haunt you more than any paranormal entity. and again, there is just something about kmm and her worlds and writing that feels like coming home to me, so i did enjoy this start of something new, and i am excited to read whatever comes next. (especially with how this one ends!)
trigger + content warnings: constant talk of cancer, loss of mother, caretaking of a parent during illness, grief, fire, nightmares, talk of self harm (one sentence), debt / medical debt, a lot of talk of pregnancy, one sentence mention of a stillbirth, one sentence mention of an overdose connected to homophobia, animal death mention (pet hunting), blood, a magical spell involving dead animals
“The ocean cannot tell the difference between a rich man and a poor one, nor one full of happiness, or despair. To those waves, all are so terribly small.”
the tainted cup was my favorite publication of 2024, so i was beyond elated when this book showed up on my doorstep in 2025! and opening this book, and instantly being back with din and ana, just reminded me how beloved this book series already is to me and how it is probably my most anticipated current ongoing series. i know, right? a lot of praise, but it really is from my heart.
the very basic premise of what this series is doing is that it is a genre blend of fantasy and mystery, where we follow two character, din and ana, who are very coded as sherlock and watson, while they try to solve murder mysteries in what very much feels like an attack on titan world, filled with walls and leviathans that attack those walls. yet, also in this world, people have medical augmentations that allow them to enhance themselves, with abilities to do things better, but at a cost. and in this second installment, we really get to see that cost with classes in this world.
in this book, din and ana are visiting a town in the middle of trade negotiations, called yarrowdale, which is a port town, and it feels a little extra scary when the wet season is approaching and when leviathans attack walls in this world! but this town hasn’t experienced an attack in living memory, and they also have something called the shroud, which is a leviathan graveyard with a lot of mystery behind it. and maybe some more mystery will be added to it, because this story starts with dinios kol, an altered mind rememberer, traveling to this town to meet an officer and to see what is left of a body. and one moldy tower room later, ana dolabra comes to hopefully solve another case with din, and in a new city, where body parts are continuing to be found.
this series really feels like a breath of fresh air for both of its blended genres and it really feels like magic to read. din and ana’s relationship really just means the whole world to me, and seeing them both trust more, listen more, and even love more is just so beautiful. am i crying over a scarf? yes!! also, malo is such an amazing side character, who i was feeling all the emotions constantly for. i really hope we get to see them again in more stories. but yeah, the characters, the story, the writing, the messages, the mystery, it’s really all so top notch and i just really recommend this series to everyone who has even somewhat similar reading tastes to me.
other random things i loved about this story: din is for sure pan or bi and we just really love to see it, always. i also always will love an unsettling castle setting. i was obsessed with how we got more backstory in this second installment, and seeing more of these character’s pasts and how they are choosing to live in the present. i love the constant theme of patterns and how they are all around us, for better or worse, if we really begin to look. i love that this book looked at debt and the systems that want to keep people down and at the mercy of their leaders. and i very much love to appreciate the discussions around the corruption of government and how those in power are more than willing to treat the citizens they view as lesser, regardless of any and all costs.
i truly love everything about this series, but i do feel like no one, and i mean no one, is writing author notes the way robert jackon bennet is writing author notes. both books in this series have heavily discussed classism, capitalism, and which groups of people thrive, and die, because of these things. But this author’s note, the final thing the reader is left with upon closing this book, really emphasizes how fantasy stories have treated autocracies. how such a majority of stories are written about one true heir, who is divine, and righteous, and deserving of taking over and ruling the land, and knowing what is best for all people. and how that romanticization is never the real world reality. it was just really powerful to me and i really applaud what this author is saying to his readers, both in his storytelling and with his voice, especially in 2025.
“This work can never satisfy, Din, for it can never finish. The dead cannot be restored. Vice and bribery will never be totally banished from the cantons. And the drop of corruption that lies within every society shall always persist. The duty of the Iudex is not to boldly vanquish it but to manage it. We keep the stain from spreading, yes, but it is never gone. Yet this job is perhaps the most important in all the Iyalets, for without it, well … The Empire would come to look much like Yarrow, where the powerful and the cruel prevail without check. And tell me—does that realm look capable of fighting off a leviathan?”
trigger + content warnings: death, vomit, blood, kidnapping, fungus + mold depictions, medical debt, loss of parents in past, colonization, slavery / captivity, classism, contagion, illness, poison, bugs / insects, gore, smoking, drinking, animal deaths, forced medical treatments, medical experimentation, talk of suicide ideation, a character who feels a little agoraphobic, and a little sexual content
well… i am sorry to report that this was for sure my least favorite story by this author. and, before i typARC provided by the publisher via Libro.fm
well… i am sorry to report that this was for sure my least favorite story by this author. and, before i type anything else, disliking this has nothing to do with the kink / sexual content in this story. i didn’t find it sexy, nor did i particularly enjoy the vibe of this love interest’s dick being so good that it heals complex trauma that our mc needed to work through professionally, but i promise the constant ick i was feeling had nothing to do with the light bdsm content. sadly, it was just everything else.
this story follows scarlett, a stanford student who has been on the path her entire life to be an olympic diver. On top of the physical and mental stress on her body from that alone, she is also experiencing coming back into the water after a very traumatic dive that led to her almost never being able to dive again. she is very much still experiencing the ptsd from that competition, while trying to be able to dive like she once used to. and this is going to seem like whiplash of a premise, but her college best friend, pen, who is also on the dive team, suggests that scarlett should hook up with her soon to be ex boyfriend, the swim captain lukas, after a conversation where she was telling scarlett that her boyfriend has different sexual wants than her (and scarlett told her she has the exact same wants wow)! oh, and their relationship has been going on for over seven years, where they have very much trauma bonded over some really horrible things that have happened to them in the past.
which is obv why it is hard for them to break it off with one another after seven years, but… idk seven years is crazzzzzy, i am so sorry. but, also, maybe not as crazy as picturing having sex with your girlfriend’s friend while she is not your ex girlfriend yet. i should have known there to dnf this. because that premise alone is just insane to me. i just could never do that and i think most people wouldn’t do that. and i am all for insta-lust and just having an instant sexual and/or romantic collection with someone, but i could never enjoy the setup of even that because of how this book was set up. but i had so much faith in the author, and had the audiobook for free, so i continued on.
then we also get the lack of communication (every. single. chapter.), which i could totally understand because of the complex trauma this mc is navigating, but once it starts feeling like the magical first dom is healing every part of her, and she is still running away from every problem, while also simultaneously acting so naive, it is just exhausting. unbelievable and exhausting. like… no dom/sub relationship is going to completely heal the shit you need to actually work through, especially when your trauma has to do with abuse from a man who you should be able to trust. please also seek actual professional help, not just your bestie’s ex who just happens to be the perfect first dom for your very early exploring submissive journey.
plus, scarlett and lukas were so bland and boring even during their sexual encounters (that we constantly had to be told was such kinky bdsm >.<), i truly just could never actually care about them or see why they cared about each other besides the instant attraction they had been harboring while he was dating one of her best friends.
and the last thing i also want to note because it bothered me constantly was that i just found all the swedish stereotypes also very exhausting! like, they never felt good to read and always were at least borderline uncomfortable. (and i guess scarlett has never been to an asian-american's home either? but i promise she'd lose her mind over the shoes at a filipino party lol.) at this point, i am begging this author to just bring back adam driver shadows and also actual thought and empathy going into your characters once again.
i liked exactly two things about this book - 1) the stepmom and how family can look different but it doesn't matter as long as you show up for each other (even if the nepo-baby joke almost made me crash out more than i already have in this review) and 2) the discussions on how hard d1 athletes are pushed, both mentally and physically, while their goals are always hanging above their heads because one bad injury can take your entire dream, that you have worked for all your life, away. on top of the repercussions on the body that can come from intensely training your entire life. both of these things weren’t talked about in detail, but were brought up throughout and i did enjoy them every time.
(spoilers for this paragraph) 2.5 - pen. knowing that she had it pretty hard growing up, and then losing the only stable constant that she had in her life for the last seven years, a third of her whole life, and then lashing out and realizing that she’s really hurting and she wasn’t as cool as she thought about the situation… like.. she is 21 years old, that is realistic to me. but some of these reviews i’m reading, just ripping her character to shreds, is insane to me. like, i felt bad for her constantly while reading this story. and if i’m being for real, whatever she had going on with lukas in the past sounded a lot hotter than what he and scarlett had in the present day hahahaha that’s messy of me but also true! also, the ending was mature and nice of her? idk, but i felt the need to add a point-five and play devil's advocate for her.)
okay, i have already made this too long, but yeah, this sadly just didn’t work for me the way i really hoped that it would, especially considering how much i’ve enjoyed other works from this author. but i highkey cringed while reading this book more than all other books last year combined. i normally only give one star if i find the content offensive, and i don't necessarily want to say i’m offended, more off-put, but i just disliked this so much that i have to give it one star.
content warnings from the author (may have spoilers for your reading experience, so please use caution/only read if you need tw/cws): Exploration of kink and some aspects of BDSM (always consensual and always negotiated); the sexual relationship between the MMC and the FMC includes several power exchange scenarios/situations, Mentions of sports injuries and orthopedic surgeries, Mentions of an abusive relationship (coercive control) between the FMC and her father (off-page; in the past; no physical violence ever occurs), Death of a parent (off-page; in the past), Terminal illness (off-page; in the past), Bullying (off-page; in the past), Explicit and graphic sexual content, Cursing and vulgar language
additional trigger + content warnings i found while reading: drinking, mention of false positive drug testing, abandonment, mentions of student + teacher relationship dynamic, immense trauma and ptsd, unwanted touching, talk of cancer research, and… a really distasteful one sentence throwaway joke to the reader about how it seemed like the mc was about to say she had terminal cancer because she was taking so long to say something to her ex partner (which i will admit is just something i am personally just really sensitive about, but also it felt worse because i had more faith that this author would realize the impact of reading something like that considering so many of their stories involve the importance of cancer research, including this one!! truly the biggest icks in the whole world to me and something that can be so trigger to so many people that just didn’t need to be written) - can you tell this pissed me off lol >.< im sorry
this is a hard one to review, because up until the 50% maARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“In fairy tales, big things happen in threes.”
this is a hard one to review, because up until the 50% mark, i actually did believe this was going to be a five star read for me. i guess i will get into that more as i write more, but the feeling of disappointment is very strong with this one, but also this is a very high three star rating at the same time.
this is a story about three women across history, and we slowly watch all of them become vampires in very different ways. in 1500s spain, we watch a girl born into terrible circumstances do what she needs to to survive. in 1800s london, we watch a bridgerton-esqu girl want to be able to love freely whomever she wants. and in 2019 boston, we see a girl who is grieving and attempting a fresh start once and for all.
and i think that my biggest disappointment was kind of woven into this premise, because even though we follow three girls and are watching their stories weave together, it feels disjointed. i am not claiming to be an editor, or even a writer, but to me this felt like the author really kind of only wanted to write about maría, and then added these other two storylines to attempt to just connect everything (and all the big wonderful ideas she had) together! and this is where it gets so hard to rate this, because maría’s story was for sure my favorite and the reason i believed i was going to have a five star on my hands!
i love a generational story, and seeing all the puzzle pieces fit together, but everytime it would switch to alice, i would just find myself a little annoyed. and i did like alice a lot more than lottie, which feels bad to type, but maybe that’s because the disconnect of these two timelines already impacted me. but to me this 500+ page book read like 75% maría, 15% lottie, and 10% alice, and i guess i am not saying that’s a bad thing, but it just didn’t blend well to me, it felt forced to me, and kind of like it was making alice the main mc by the end, which i just didn’t like, no matter how many tears i did shed for her. and the abrupt feeling of how the story went just left me closing this book with a three star feeling!
the constant theme of this story is predator vs prey, and we see that constantly reflected back. We get to see a lot of predators going after prey, but we also get to see how sometimes it’s not so easy to distinguish between those two words and archetypes. this is a story about abuse, and how abuse can look so very different, and how cycles of abuse happen. and how those cycles of abuse can change you, forge you, haunt you… forever.
i also adored and respected the way ve schwab really highlighted vampirism in historical literature with queerness, and gender roles, and even just feeling ostracized from society for being different. it is very felt and honored in the text, and i loved it. and just the concept of hungering for so many things, some of which you can easily get, and other things that might be a little harder, and a little harder to hide, too.
again, this is a very high three star, because there really is so much i did love about this. i loved the themes, discussions, and concepts being explored. and i think i am probably going to be in the minority with loving maría’s storyline the most, which in turn is the reason i didn’t love this more, but this was also very loudly pitched as “toxic lesbian vampires” so i am sorry if i wanted to see my girl’s story go in a different direction, other than making it connect to two other stories, okay? lol >.< happy reading, friends!
trigger + content warnings: abuse, anxiety, panic attacks, smoking, drinking, a lot of loss of loved ones in past, murder, death, one sentence mention of death of a baby, child death / murder, one sentence death of an animal (kitten), one sentence mention of animal death in past (rabbit), grief, a lot of talk of conception / pregnancy, marital rape, unwanted touching, plague, blood, self harm to get blood, vomit, fire, sa attempt, mob killing, mass murder, use of a slur for lesbians, homophobia, colorism, manipulation, gaslighting, drugging, talk of suicide, talk of war
“I don’t even know your name and I would do anything for you”
this is my first book by this author, so i wARC provided by Orbit - thank you so much
“I don’t even know your name and I would do anything for you”
this is my first book by this author, so i was a little apprehensive, because i didn’t want to ruin her previous duology for me, but i think i can safely say that this was a unique reading experience all on its own. this story starts out inside a cathedral that is somewhat hidden away. and inside, are six women, who have been raised to become powerful diviners, who perform reading rituals. these six women know very little, if anything, of their pasts, and refer to each other by their allotted number. and this story truly does star six, who has the unfortunate luck to perform the next holy ritual for the boy king who has just arrived at the cathedral.
i really do not want to say much more than that, but i really loved this. it does have a lot of buzzwords for me, so i was pretty much foaming at the mouth during the first part of this book. I did think that maybe it dragged a little bit in the middle, during some very lovely traveling, but this really is close to a five star for me. the atmosphere was truly some of the best ive ever read, and i do not type that lightly. the imagery, from the omen, to the fighting, to just what our mc was seeing during her travels, was perfect. and the slow burn romance actually did really work for me, too! and what this book was saying, about abuse, and power dynamics, and manipulating people who already feel so very lost, it was all just very powerful (especially with the added religion element).
the power of reclaiming things is always so important to me, but this story for sure had a very powerful element of reclaiming one’s name that made me very emotional. and just the constant reminder that you don’t need to be useful to someone, or some machine, or any higher power, to be loved. you just being here is enough, and i will always remind you, dear review reader and friend, of that.
i really loved this and it is highly recommended by me, especially if you feel like we have similar tastes in books. and I recommend this extra if you, too, want to fall in love with a gargoyle (bartholomew, ilysm). also, i don’t know where else to type this, but our mc is pan or bi and we always will love to see it!
trigger + content warnings from the author: Violence/gore, Religious abuse: physical and psychological, Body horror, Adult language + profanity, Emesis, Sexual content, Death of magical creatures, Grief/loss
additional trigger + content warnings i found while reading: self harm to get blood for a ritual, drowning, unwanted touching (arm grab), battle, talk of illness, talk of loss of a loved one in past, kidnapping, murder, death, manipulation, drug use, talk of starvation, talk of captivity, one sentence mention of stillbirth in past
“Familiarity could look very much like love from a certain angle, if one didn’t look too hard. Everyone
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“Familiarity could look very much like love from a certain angle, if one didn’t look too hard. Everyone deserves a home… And what was a home but somewhere you wouldn’t have to feel quite so alone?”
every christmas, i end up having a book that i feel just makes the perfect book for a gift among my family and friends… and then i seem to tell everyone that while writing a review for said book. well, this was a phenomenal debut novel, that i purchased 10+ copies of and gave out for christmas this year! this really just had the perfect balance of comfort and high stakes, while also feeling so inspiring and thought provoking. and this just ultimately is a story about being the person you want to be, and going on the adventures you want to go on, with the people you want to surround yourself (and grow) with in life. hopefully all my loved ones are reading this after christmas, but i just really believe this is a top tier story for a gift, and truly a good reminder of how i want to live my life. (this is also a preamble to say that i think you, dear review reader, will also enjoy this one, because i think most people will enjoy this story and the messages within it! ...more
this is the first book by ali that i haven't loved and i am really sad about it. i feel like everyone has beARC provided by the publisher via Libro.fm
this is the first book by ali that i haven't loved and i am really sad about it. i feel like everyone has been begging for her (and emily henry) to give us that dual point of view, but man oh man i wish ali never did. I think a lot of it is because one of our main character’s povs is 1st person, and then the other is 3rd person, and even though i did find a groove while reading, each time i picked up the book it was jarring getting to that groove again.
but the basic premise of the stem romance is that one of our main characters, rue, is a biotech engineer who has a passion for fermentation and extending the shelf life of foods because of immense poverty trauma in her past. she is currently working with a company she really loves and she is also working on her own patent for food preservation. after a night with an attempted app hookup that kind of goes really wrong (but also really right despite not hooking up), the next day she goes to work and realizes that this mystery guy, eli, is part of another tech company who is going to buy the loan contract of her current company and that leaves a lot of uncertainty for her and her coworkers/friend’s futures.
i see a lot of people disliking this one because of the more explicit sex, so please know that going in, but that truly didn’t bother me. well, maybe it did just because i didn’t love eli in this, so i always would want to be in rue’s head, even during the sex scenes. what i really didn't like (which i didn’t even talk about in the premise because it feels like the only time i was brought up was to further the mc’s love story), is a subplot with rue’s brother that just left a really bad taste in my mouth. i talk in a lot of reviews about how much my little brother means to me, so maybe i was just being extra sensitive, but it just felt really bad to read (and really bad to not really have a conclusion for). and honestly? i felt like the big storyline (view spoiler)[about mentor manipulation and lying (hide spoiler)] was done much better in love, theoretically, and felt a lot better for the reader, too.
i really enjoyed seeing rue realize that she doesn’t deserve bad things, and her healing and slowly feeling safe in her vulnerability, but besides that? i just couldn’t connect with the romance of this one, on top of the brother storyline not feeling good to read. I still will very much be picking up deep end , but i hope you all enjoy the reading experience of not in love more than i did.
content warnings from the author(please use caution for potential spoilers): I know genre definitions can be a bit blurry, but I consider Not in Love to be an erotic romance, so… lots of sex scenes, explicit and graphic. More than usual. An unnecessary amount, perhaps. It’s how these two emotionally constipated people communicate, at least at the start. Childhood poverty and food insecurity. Anxiety around food, mostly due to past food insecurity. Mentions of addiction (secondary characters). Social anxiety. Parental death (accidents, illness) (off page, in the past). Parental neglect. Power exchange (pre-negotiated, during sex. Attempted assault of the FMC by her brother (she is unharmed). Pregnancy of a secondary character. Cursing and vulgar language.
other trigger + content warnings i found while reading (ali's books really do have such good tws - i am always so thankful and impressed): grief, infidelity in past mentions (not mcs) but also a weird comment about cheating made my the mc once, childhood abandonment, one sentence mention of an animal dying during animal testing.
i feel really mixed on this one, because this book had things i really liked and things i really didn’t likARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
i feel really mixed on this one, because this book had things i really liked and things i really didn’t like. there is also probably a michigan bias, because my family lives about two hours away from grand haven. but this is a story of two exes who unexpectedly are forced to spend the holidays together after one of them left the other at the altar five years ago.
now, this is the problem for me with this story lol. I am a hard sell on second chances romances already, but leaving someone at the altar? and then somehow spinning it to say it is because they don’t communicate well? lord, hear my prayers. i just could never root for the romance, and to add insult to injury upon finishing, i felt like that character completely settled for the one who left them at the altar all those years ago.
i loved the side characters, i loved the colorado setting and michigan flashbacks, i loved the sex in this book if i could force myself to forget how one of the characters treated the other, and i loved the discussion on “allowing” yourself to rediscover your love for things. Also, this might be just because i very recently read and loved private rites, but i also like the reminder to myself that people can be unlovable and still deserve love and being cared for and shown that love - which also makes me feel like maybe i am being too harsh on one of the characters in this fictional story. so, i am just going to give this three stars and say this was a really middle of the road book for me and move on!
author’s note: make the season bright contains consensual sexual scenes, on-page drinking, mentions of parental neglect and abandonment, and one claustrophobic scene. please take care of yourself while reading
additional trigger + content warnings i wrote down while reading: panic attacks, brief mention of homophobic parent (not mcs), and vomit / throwing up
i can’t believe we are ten books into the wayward children series! not to make this mini review about my owARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
i can’t believe we are ten books into the wayward children series! not to make this mini review about my own nostalgia, but down among the sticks and bones was actually the first physical arc i ever received. and throughout the years, i have also brought these arcs with me to photograph during blizzon, which i am not sure will even be a thing anymore! but what i am trying to convey, is that this series has been a big part of me reviewing books and there will always be something special about it, and i really have appreciated the warm consistency of having a new novella to read, each and every year.
okay okay - this tenth installment follows nadya, who we know is an adult trapped in a kid/teen’s body in the present day school. we get to see her literally born in russia, living in an orphanage, and being adopted by usa missionaries who are told that adopting a “disadvantaged” child is the christian way. we get to see her grow up a tiny bit with this couple who really didn’t want to be parents, and then we get to see her grow up a lot a bit when her door opens for her on the shell of a turtle.
this story very much discusses themes of disability and feeling whole, regardless of others putting their idea of “wholeness” onto you, and while also trying to connect with a culture that you feel abandonment issues with. it discusses adoption and how scary that can be for children, and how the system(s) is very far from perfect, especially sometimes when people bring religion into the process, and even more so when you’re expecting gratitude. this story also touches on wealth hoarding and the distribution of resources that my late-stage capitalist society should really be thinking about. but i really loved the themes of belonging and finding our own community/family who will remind of your wholeness, always.
i expected to like this, like i do with all the wayward children books, but this one made me really cry a lot. i feel like my heart is so heavy for present day nadya, now knowing her backstory and seeing her thrive in her portal home. this was for sure a highlight in the series for me, and i can’t wait to hopefully have this series forever.
trigger + content warnings: abandonment, talk of teen pregnancy with a birthing scene, ableism (always challenged and in a negative light), blood, vomit, talk of sick animal (turtle) who is healed, loss of an animal friend (fox), not having autonomy of oneself, anxiety, and… disaster (i don’t want to say a natural disaster but something that forces you to be displaced)