this is such a beautiful memoir about grief, love, identity, healing. feeling like you're losing parts of yourself, reconnecting to parts of yourself.this is such a beautiful memoir about grief, love, identity, healing. feeling like you're losing parts of yourself, reconnecting to parts of yourself. healing through the food of your family and culture, healing through art with writing and music. learning grief can be a lifelong process, learning grief can be something that changes who you are. i felt some of the passages in this book so very deeply.
sometimes nothing can comfort me the way arroz caldo made by my lola can. sometimes nothing can make me happier than thinking about all the bowls of sinigang i've ate all around the world with my dad. sometimes i go to the beach and i feel like i can actually taste lechon. and last night i ate simple tuna and fried rice and thought of them, and i thought of michelle, too.
this book really impacted me, and i never know how to review/talk about memoirs, but michelle's vulnerability was so powerful and brave to me, and i know i will honor and remember this book for as long as i live. i cried a lot while reading this for sadness, but i cried for all the love between these pages that were so very felt, too.
♡ buddy read with so many friends! (and during bts' 10th anniversary week) [image]
“So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness. I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite b
“So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness. I am full of anger, pain, peace, love, of horrible shards and exquisite beauty, and the lifelong challenge will be to balance all of those things, while keeping them in the circle. Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses there are triumphs. I accept the lifelong battle and its limitations now. Even though I must always carry the weight of grief on my back, I have become strong.”
this is a heavy read, but it really is life changing. i really will forever think differently upon reading this, because it really made me realize a lot about myself - how i cope, how i soothe, how i view perfectionism, how i feel dread, how i carry my father inside my heart and bones at all times, and how my grandmother who immigrated to the us from the philippines carried us both alongside her before that. i really and truly recommend this to anyone, but especially diaspora friends / friends who are the children + grandchildren of immigrants, and extra if you are asian american. but please also make sure you check content warnings and are in the right headspace.
i am just so grateful this book exists. and i hope everyone who is reading this review gets to feel their happiness and safety a little bit more deeply, alongside every other deep feeling we sometimes can't control feeling. our bodies are capable of such incredible things, but so are our hearts and who we choose to love with them.