lindsey's Reviews > All the Right Notes

Warnings for parental death and the mortifying ordeal of being a poorly written teenager.

This is the first time I have ever given a book I actually bothered to finish one star. Why? Because I was going to dnf and one star pages in but kept going "for the sake of the review". Note to future self: if I can tell that a book will be bad immediately, I am correct. The book will, in fact, be bad.

Let's start with that I possibly liked about this book, so that I can say I was fair to it:
- Emmett was fine
- Mr. Cruz was cool
- (view spoiler)[I was glad that Quito finally broke up with Mark or whatever his name was (hide spoiler)]
- When Quito is hiding in a closet for (reasons I forget) and Emmett shows up and is like "why are you in the closet" and Quito says "I'm not in the closet. You're in the closet." That part was funny.

Alright. That's it for things I enjoyed. Now let's move onto all the shit I didn't like (how to we know I hated this book? It took me over a month to read. Most books I read in 2-4 days so you know that means something). I'm going to sort this into sections so it becomes at least kind of orderly.

The Plot/ Random Shit
- Tries way too hard. Overly poetic prose. It was annoying and unnecessary and pulled me out of the book to imagine characters actually thinking like that. Absolutely stupid writing choice.
- The time jumps. So this book alternates from high school/ current day (switching every chapter). But it's like a twenty year (?? not actually sure) time jump. So this book was trying to be both YA and adult, and failed at both. Quito wasn't convincing as a high schooler or as a thirty-some year old man.
- I honestly just don't get the plot choices in this book.
- The whole popular boy walks into the nerd class and everyone is stunned/ drawn to him/ basically dies on the spot is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. Hate to say it but no teenage boy is a "god". And this was just the first scene. My my did we start off weak.
- This random person whose name I can't remember saying the words "over my dead, lesbian body". Who the fuck talks like that. Honestly. Absurd. Kill me please.
- Overwhelmingly stereotyped
- All the women are horribly written and/or dead.
- When Mark sends Quito a personal message in the form of an actual formatted email. Sorry if my significant other communicated with me like that they would no longer be my significant other. Oops.
- Typing out "hahahahahahahahahaha" to indicate laughter.
- Not knowing how instagram works. Photos do not trend on instagram and you don't look up a "user" (source: I am 22 and grew up on instagram)
- In a single scene Mr. Cruz is wearing both jeans and sweatpants without ever getting changed. Good for him I guess?
- The phrase "walking off calories". Go die in a hole.
- When Mr. Cruz tells the story of Quito coming out like it's something funny. I mean the whole story around that was stupid as fuck but I think that coming out and stories around that are for the queer person to choose to tell.
- When (view spoiler)[ Mr. Cruz dies at like 81%. Horrible plot device. Accomplishes nothing other than brushing over grief and is used to push Emmett and Quito together. Absolutely disgusting choice by the author. (hide spoiler)]

Quito as a Person
- The most annoying, hateful person I have ever met. He is constantly judging literally everything and everyone, including the clothes worn by teenagers (let's not say that a high school girl's dress is hiding her figure please. I don't care if you're gay it's fucking creepy). In the first couple of chapters, Quito judges a girl's makeup, and he keeps doing that throughout the book
- So fucking dramatic and into long-winded unnecessary music metaphors. Jesus Christ get over yourself.
- Basically he is super judgemental and way too into himself in a plagued with self-doubt sort of way and it all combines to make him the most unlikeable character you can imagine. What Emmett sees in him I cannot even begin to figure out.
- Not sure if this is Quito the character or the book I'm mad at. But why does he identify groups of people as things like "a trio of gays"? Or when he describes Ujima's hair as a "giant gay mop"? (I am a gay person. I hate this.)
- His whole piano prodigy deal is exhausting. I get it you're special now shut up.
- When Quito knew the name of Emmett's cologne in high school and could recognise it and name it by smell. That's now how high school works and also not how people work.
- That time Quito is like "I don't want to show Emmett my room so instead we will look at photo albums of my dead mom" excuse me? (paraphrasing here) and then Quito is weird about Emmett asking about her my dude you showed him the photos of her! What did you expect!
- Normally we talk about "not like other girls" as an issue but Quito has a crippling case of "not like other boys"

How Ujima was Treated
- Nonbinary/ gender queer characters exist for more than comic relief and educational purposes!
- Actually most of my stuff here is more Quito hate because of how Quito is towards his supposedly best friend. The rest of it is how this character is written.
- When Quito is like "it took me a while to get used to Ujima's preferred pronouns of they and them" (I am paraphrasing). 1. they are not preferred pronouns they are pronouns. 2. I don't care that you think you got over your transphobia because quite clearly you did not. This is your best friend and roommate and you don't even really respect their identity
- I hated it when Ujima was like "that man is too pretty to be straight". What the fuck???
- Quito loves to point of how Weird and Nonbinary Ujima is and it made me feel extremely icky.
- Ujima saying "my flawless black ass" in response to I don't remember what. Does a person talk like that? (I am not Black so this isn't like the "over my dead, lesbian body thing" because of how I am in fact a lesbian. Still seemed weird? But I am ready to be wrong here)
- Ujima flirts with literally everyone but in a creepy way. Did not love it.
- Quito misgenders Ujima twice when thinking about them (185, 220 in my copy). Then, Quito is quite literally unable to properly introduce his BEST FRIEND because he doesn't know how to introduce someone whose pronouns are they/them. Atrocious.
- (view spoiler)[ Ujima even phrases their decision to go on hormones at the end of the book like a teachable moment. An extremely poorly written one, too. (hide spoiler)]

Anyways. I hated this book. Which makes me sad, but what's a girl to do when there is so much here to hate and nothing to love. My apologies to anyone who reads this book.